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exo salon au where jongin specializes in eyebrow threading, baekhyun cuts hair, and zitao works the reception. a new kid with big eyes and rosy cheeks is hired to sweep and with every forward push of the broom, jongin’s heart beats a little faster, legs shake and hands sweat and fingers fumble, and he forgets the ability to do anything including thread eyebrows because he accidentally pokes his client in the eye and temporarily blinds her in one eye which leads to him to the loss of his job and cosmologist license and now he works at a starbucks that the boy likes to study at on weekday evenings later y’all holla.

sehun would be dragged along by his bff baekhyun to the strip club and promptly abandoned in 2 minutes when baekhyun finds the pole where tao is stripping and proceeds to ogle shamelessly. so sehun is like frick this because he’s never been to one of these places before so he feels awk and he orders a drink and sits down at one of the tables and kinda just observes what’s happening and like a few minutes later there’s hands sliding across his shoulders and someone whispers in his ear “hey baby, you look different when your hands are not stuffed down your pants” and a deep chuckle and ofc who is it except jongin. and jongin just walks around this time in his cute little booty shorts and plops down on sehun’s lap. “do u want a dance?”and sehun is like totally surprised the whole time like ugh get off me u gross but so sexy (wow so sexy) man frick u and jongin is like “i’ll take that as a yes” and kinda starts giving him a lap dance u feel me. and he’s reaches to take a hold of sehun’s hands and puts them on his chest and slides them down and fits himself against sehun’s chest and as he grinds his ass over sehun’s crotch again he’s like “feels good right?” sehun ofc doesn’t want to say yes so he’s like “no i could care less”  and jongin lets go of his hands and is like “would it be better like this?” and shifts in sehun’s lap, turning around and lifting his leg to sling over to the other side of sehun and hence giving sehun a view of the goodies if u know what i mean. and yeah he continues to straddle sehun but this time facing him and resumes his little lap dance, tracing his fingers down the line of buttons on sehun’s shirts and picking up sehun’s hands again and putting them flat on his abs like “you can touch me you know, it’s encouraged” and sehun weakly grunts because jongin actually has a really nice body (dreamy sigh) so toned and slicked down with oil and sweat and ughhhhh and jongin is like “why, didn’t you want to come?” and sehun is like “sort of- n-no” and stutters because jongin is so fricking fluid and his hips are fricking magical and jongin is like “oh really i always want to come”

do u know how many smut fics i could write based on all the sex dreams i have during political science??? let me tell you, a lot. ok they all consist of jongin and me i’m still a girl ok frifck u i have needs. one time, jongin was a yuppie ho frick and he came home from work in a suit holy hell u professional babe make me ur business tbh and i was cute little wifey right, taking his briefcase, kneading his shoulders, loosening his tie, taking off his tie, blindfolding him with his tie, do u see where this is going it’s supa hot oh yeah baby touch me feel around since u can’t see holy frick jongin pls wear a suit and frick me pls bye no really professional kim jongin in a suit in my bathtub juseyo tbh

imagine kris in a uniform omfg with a whip and he licks the whip and bites into the handle WHILE LOOKING AT YOU;;;;;;; and uses the handle to trace across your jawline as he whistles in your face ”we got a pretty one” and his breath smells like cigars and top notch whiskey because he’s a rich son of a bitch. his wealth makes him all the more cruel and heartless, you know because he rips your clothes off rather than unbuttoning your shirt and the cotton of your blouse comes apart in neat strips, the way cotton does. your shirt buttons didn’t ever stand a chance, against kris’s brute strength and thick fingers. you’re thankful because he seems to have forgotten about the whip in the process of unclothing you. but you’re wrong when you hear the slap of leather against skin, before you feel the stinging pain spreading from your chest, to the rest of your body. your teeth clench so hard that your jaw feels like it’s going to break. kris laughs before he raises his whip again, “red looks so pretty on you.” blood rushes towards the place where he hit you, but you’ll never know the red that he’s speaking of, you’ll only see and feel the purple-black bruises that fade into green-yellow when you wake up the next day. his whip cracks, and the air in the room stills; every single time. it hurts. it really fucking hurts. but you don’t tell him, because you know that if you tell him, it’s going to hurt even more. so you gnaw on the inside of your cheeks until the taste of copper dances on your tongue, between your teeth. kris stills the hand holding the whip and looks down at your chest, ”whoops.” he smirks, throwing the whip down beside your head, “it’s a bit too red now,” he loosens his collar and finally takes off his hat tossing it on top of the whip. you’ve never known that whips could make a person bleed, until today. until right now; just now. when fucking kris wufan hit you so hard, that the flesh of your chest stung until it was sore, hurt upon hurt. until it became cuts upon fresh-forming bruises. he smiles, but his eyes don’t as he licks his lips, “cherry red, though.” he bends down over you, and in a moment of what you thought was an act of kindness, licked your cuts. sharp tongue prodding at the soft, burning red skin. licking at the blood on the surface, pressing upon the torn skin to force more out. you realize that you’ve chewed the inside of your cheek so much, that your mouth is flooded with a solution of blood and saliva. all copper iron red pain. both kris and you tasted pain, that day. you tasted your own. (and kris tasted yours).

$ehun likes to hit da clubs every friday night he’s a cool cat he can’t be held down he likes dat sexy times anyway so he pimp walks his way up to this cutie sitting at the bar with big eyes and and a cute everything seriously he’s like a sunshine and he’s like “hey there cute stuff how about me and u have a goooood time tonight?” but the cute boy is like “um no thank u ur creeping me out pls leave me alone” and walks away. so then sehun tries again. he sees this other cute guy with a baby face but damn he can shake those hips so sehun slides over like “wow are u pikachu because u are shockingly cute. you know what else is shockingly cute? my love rocket if you catch my drift would you like to take a ride abord the sehun 2013 aww yisss baby boy say yes” but the other guy kicks him in the shin and continues to dance. so poor sehun limps back over to a bar where this giant is sitting and is like “hi i’m sehun, can i sit here” because fuck trying his leg hurts.  and the guy is like “ayo wassssuSsusp i’m kris what up with u home skillet biscuit dawg?” and sehun is like “i can’t get laid.” and the other guy is like “yeah man me neither omfg” sehun perks up at that and is like “cool let’s sleep together bro” and kris is like “aww yissss gettin me more ass than a toilet seat today.”