Rose Colored World

“My fault,” Hazel said before looking up; she should have been paying more attention before turning the corner, or at least stuck to the outside. Her eyes widened and her voice died in her throat as she looked up to find herself face to face with Kaitlin. The two of them hadn’t spoken since the half hearted texts after Fidchell and Hazel had been sorely missing the loss. 

Questions sprang up and died in her mind. How are you? … I’m sorry … Please forgive me … I miss him, too … I’m so sorry 

There was part of her that wanted nothing more than to sink into the floor, invisible and ignored. Kaitlin had every right to be upset with her; Hazel had tried to give her space, hoping that eventually Kaitlin would be in a place where she’d let Hazel explain. She hadn’t known what Sorrel had done to Davey, hadn’t known about Bette and honestly hadn’t been a part of any of it but she still felt responsible. She knew in her heart that she would have used Davey if Kaitlin had taken her up on the offer she only vaguely remembered giving on her birthday. It had been foolish and misguided, but it came from a place of genuine love. 

Her gaze dropped to her shoes, shame coloring her cheeks. “S-sorry, Kait. Uh…” she trailed off, biting her lip to keep herself from saying that she missed her. Kaitlin would always be a sister to her, regardless of how Kait might view her. “I’ve been meaning to check in…just, you know, didn’t want to push or anything…How are you?”

When Kaitlin looked at Hazel the main emotion she felt was guilt. It had been because of her that Hazel had befriended the other players in order to use them to help Kaitlin. The fact that Kaitlin hadn’t wanted it didn’t matter. Not when it came to the guilt. And not to Hazel either. Kaitlin didn’t know why Hazel had abandoned her plans to help but it hadn’t been because of anything she’d said. It had been very clear that Kaitlin’s feelings on it hadn’t mattered to Hazel. Whatever Hazel’s motivations were Kaitlin didn’t believe it had truly been for her.

The fact was Hazel was just another fey who Kaitlin had allowed decide who she was. But Kaitlin was done being who she thought fey wanted her to be. She was ready to find out who she really was. Who that was, was still being figured out but she did know she wasn’t someone who could just be rude, especially when she felt equally responsible for what Hazel had done to Davey. “I’m good. Life is going back to normal like it always does.” As usual Kaitlin’s life consisted of Fidchell practice and errands for fey. Only lately there had been dinners with Garnet and Huck, but Kaitlin kept that to herself. “You seem to be doing well.”

Where: Luna Park

Who: open

Kaitlin didn’t know which way to look there was so much to see. Rides and games and so many people. It was all a little overwhelming. While also surprisingly like the carnival scenes in movies. Kaitlin was glad Kevin had suggested it. Though she couldn’t help feeling like Davey should be with them. She’d gotten used to it being the three of them. There was enough excitement and distractions to keep her from thinking about it too much. Like the big, brightly coloured stuffed animals hanging over the games. Somehow an enticement even though she’d never wanted a stuffed animal before. Winning one made the whole thing more tempting. Or maybe it was just the atmosphere that made it tempting. Either way Kaitlin chose the Pyramid Smash, thinking maybe having throwing lessons from a major league baseball player might help her chances at the game. Her first throw knocked the top three cans off and Kaitlin gave a little squeal of happiness along with a little hop.

The weight of the game would always weigh heavily on his shoulders, that much he was certain of. He could numb it with alcohol or push it to the back of his mind with menial Oakenfold tasks, but it would always be there at the end of the day, pressing in on him, suffocating. The players were all just people who deserved their best shot, their one wish, their one good thing. They each had a reason for being here that spanned a world of different lifestyles and personalities and livelihoods - and they all looked to him to save them. Every single one of them leaned on him to keep them alive…and no matter what, at least 80 percent of them would be dead in June.

For much of the year he was good at distracting himself from at all, at focusing on the tasks at hand and not worrying about the end result completely. But July always proved difficult. It wasn’t that he meant to withdraw from Kaitlin, but it was difficult not to look at her and know she missed her shot this year, to know she was angry and upset about, to know a part of it was because he hadn’t helped show that she was ready…and that a part of him was happy she hadn’t played - but then he felt guilty for feeling that, knowing how badly she wanted it. 

As she threw herself into his arms he returned the embrace, though maybe not quite as fiercely as she did. “I missed you, too.” Dancing in the rain - if anyone was going to find the good in a rain storm, it was Kaitlin. “So are you fond of all forms of precipitation, then?” 

She laughed at his question. “Rain and snow yes, not such a fan of sleet. It’s not as fun to dance in.” It would be easy to just keep to surface conversations. Weather and dancing in it. But Kaitlin had realized something a few months ago that she couldn’t not remember. For her Fidchell was just part of life, a brutal and awful part, but normal. Every year she watched as the only humans in her life fought, and for the majority of them, died. She was even used to watching the ones who won walk away. Kaitlin was someone people wanted to forget because she was tied to the worst memory of their life, she understood that.

For Kevin it was all new. She’d thought that magic would somehow make it easy for him. That he’d be okay with this new normal. He wasn’t, she knew that now. So instead of keeping to light, comfortable conversation she looked up at him, her smile slipping. “I know you don’t want to talk about it but I hope you’re doing okay.” Like her he’d known that Davey was going to wish to forget them before he even stepped foot on the Fidchell board but she doubted that made the reality any easier. Even for her it was more painful than she would have expected. Not to mention the deaths. She didn’t want to dredge all that back up but she did want him to know she had been thinking about him, still was.

Forest: Fireworks are at 9:30 I think

Forest: Depends on if you like roller coasters

Kaitlin: I don't know if I do or not

Forest: When do you want to go?

Kaitlin: Wow that was easy

Kaitlin: I was all prepared to pull out the puppy eyes 🐶

Kaitlin: Early enough to look around before the fireworks?

Forest: I don't know...I haven't been to Luna Park in years

Kaitlin: So?

Kaitlin: You said it'd be fun

Kaitlin: We both know you like fun

Kaitlin: And fireworks

Kaitlin: Who doesn't like fireworks?

Forest: I wasn't...planning on going

Kaitlin: Why not?

Kaitlin: Come on, Kev! You said it would be fun

Forest: Luna Park is doing something called 'Summer Friday'

Forest: Cheap tickets and fireworks

Forest: How about you take the night off and have some fun

Kaitlin: Take the night off and have some fun? That's my line to you

Kaitlin: I'll let you steal it tonight

I love you

It had started raining a bit after she’d met with Marigold. But she had always loved the rain - much as Camellia loved most any chance to be with water - and going for swims every day was a possibility, but wholly impractical. So she embraced the rain - she’d not brought an umbrella, and had had half a mind to grab a raincoat, which she slipped on, but left unzipped.

Still perhaps too self-absorbed, too much paying attention to what her conversation with Marigold was, although she’d pushed most of that away, trying to embrace the cool feeling of the rain on her face, when she felt another’s arm brushing against her body. Camellia looked up, and noticed a familiar face - one that, although they were not friends and not even of the same Court, one that she found a sense of calm with.

“Kaitlin?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. “I am perfectly fine, no matter.” She pushed a few strands of wet hair from her face. “How are you?”

As much of a surprise as her own name was it was even more so of one to see who was saying it. A large smile spread on her lips. “Camellia!” It was still odd to call the Unseelie princess by her name but it was what the fey wanted. Kaitlin wouldn’t forget how kind the other had been to her when they’d met in the coffee shop days before Fidchell. An unlikely fey to make her reconsider her views on the Unseelie. Which was probably why it was easier to. The queen had no pretense about her so Kaitlin could only assume the princess was the same.

“I’m glad to hear it. I’m enjoying the wonderful weather,” she answered sincerely. She wondered briefly if she should say something about the whole father revelation. It couldn’t have been easy for Camellia. Which was all the more reason to not bring it up. “I’m happy to see you again.” That felt kinder and was just as sincere as her comment about the weather. “It looks as though you’re enjoying the weather as well,” she added. Camellia certainly gave off the impression of a person not bothered by the rain, despite the fact that she had on a raincoat while Kaitlin didn’t.

I don’t want you to save me. I want you to stand by my side as I save myself.

Dogs didn’t care about rain. Or rather–Fido didn’t care. He wanted his walk; he wanted to play; he didn’t care if Yvette was soaked by a sudden rain in July. He seemed to like bad weather, and would happily gambol and chase and fetch in the slides of new mud forming in the grassy. Yvette’s soaking wet ponytail slumped off the back of her head, sending droplets flying. The rope in her hand slipped, and Fido snatched it midway down, bringing it to the woman as an offering or a temptation. 

Yvette held her hand over her eyes, shielding them from the rain. “Oh–oh, it’s fine! We’re okay!”

Kaitlin let out a happy gasp when she saw the dog coming towards her. “I’m glad,” she said, sparing a glance at the woman who spoke. “What a cute you are.” Kaitlin knelt down holding her hand out for the dog to sniff. “What’s your name?” It took Kaitlin a moment to remember that dogs weren’t supposed to talk and that she probably should have asked the owner and not the dog. She looked up at the woman, “Your dog is very cute.” Hopefully she wouldn’t think too much about Kaitlin trying to hold a conversation with the dog. The dog’s owner didn’t seem nearly as happy to be out in the rain as her dog and Kaitlin were. Shame. A nudging at her hand had her looking back down at the dog and Kaitlin took the offered rope. She laughed happily as the dog tugged at it. “Wow! You’re strong!”

Walking home from the farmer’s market through the park was a good idea, and when the sky opened up Jasmine still didn’t think otherwise. Her windbreaker had a hood, and there was nothing perishable in the bags–it was all produce harvested from artisanal dirt somewhere in New Jersey, it needed to be washed anyway. 

When she got caught by someone’s flailing elbow, she was expecting to mumble an apology to a stranger and hurry on. Her momentum had already carried her a few steps away before she realized who she’d knocked into. “Kaitlin?” Jasmine had to laugh, wiping raindrops off the brim of her hood. “What are you doing out here?” 

Jasmine. Kaitlin’s smile widened when she saw who it was she’d knocked into. Things between them had been different lately and she didn’t know how much of that she was to blame for. Kaitlin knew how Jasmine was treated but she never said anything, not even to Jasmine. And she’d held onto her fantasy that the Seelie were wonderful and benevolent in spite of the truth of Jasmine’s life. It was one thing to try and spin her own misfortunes into something that didn’t leave her in despair. But to turn a blind eye to her friend’s, Kaitlin had never meant to do that. Especially not to Jasmine.

The guilt didn’t lessen the happiness she had in hearing Jasmine’s laugh. “Enjoying the rain,” she answered honestly. “I know it’s raining and the sun’s not out but it’s still a beautiful day. I kind of like the city better in a haze of rain, it’s softer.” Kaitlin looked down at Jasmine’s bags. “Do you need help? Hopefully they let me back in the building like this,” she added with a sheepish laugh. She was soaked completely and would probably make a mess of her floor when she got home, but worth it.

Where: Oakenfold

Who: @hazyhazel

The last time she’d talked to Hazel was the night of Fidchell. She’d come out of a portal with lungs full of smoke and a heart full of pain. More death and dying, four more people she’d considered friends dead, Davey broken and covered in blood cradling Elise’s body, the images wouldn’t go away. Not even the fire had burnt them out. The fire had just added to everything, more fey who didn’t care about humans, more hope dashed as the fire did nothing that would be lasting. She was exhausted, sleep hadn’t come the night before. When the alert of new texts came in almost before she had a chance to breath in non-smokey air, she had scrolled through them, relieved that everyone seemed to be fine. Hazel’s had included a request, one that Kaitlin was in no mood to grant. Instead she’d texted back that she was unhurt and tired, and not coming over. She didn’t hate Hazel but she hadn’t been ready to see her.

She wasn’t sure she was ready now but that didn’t matter as she turned a corner in an employee only hallway at Oakenfold and ran into the other. “Sorry!” The apology was automatic but no less sincere, even when she saw it was Hazel she’d run into.