This sadness has been attached to me for as long as I can remember. As a child I felt it tagging alongside me. Back then I didn't understand what it was. My parents told me to get over it. Just be happy. So I pushed the feeling deep down in my bones. Till one day there was no more room left. Everything came out to the surface and I was still told to just be happy. The fake smile I wore on my face started to show its cracks. People around me began to see what I tried desperately for years to hide. Yet still no one helped me. I put my emotional needs in the hands of men who weren't emotionally mature enough to handle their own. I felt comfort in that trauma because that's all I knew from my past.