I remember watching Superbrioche's series Ile au Trésor on it way back when I was younger, and being engrossed in it.
Years later, a friend (who's now my partner-) gifted me the game and I've been playing ever since. That was in 2020.
Since then, I've been hopping around world, mostly on modded (I love making different foods too much- some magic sprinkled in too) and having a blast.
But I've been longing to have something, somewhere, to come back to to just hang out, chill, and get creative if I want to. So here I am this morning, launching the latest vanilla version, and starting my forever world.
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It’s so great to see anothe polymorph/shapeshifter who also has MaDD (I think the term for those is Xenreve if I’m not mistaken?)
May I ask about your kin experience while also having MaDD?
I don't know, maybe? To be fair I didn't know there was a term for that-
I'll look into it though, so if anyone has links-
It's a bit special, because I'm pretty sure I was a dog therian before anything else, but now it's shifted to being my main form as a shapeshifter.
I've daydreamed for as long as I can remember, and I don't mean the normal amount obviously: it's always been, and still is, a coping mechanism for me, dare I say the one I default too (art is a close second though, and I often mi the two).
As a note, my daydreaming hasn't been maladaptive for the last few years, but I still say I have madd. It's chronic the way I see it: if I'm not careful, it could become pathological again. Now i don't have to be careful all the time, but when I feel particularly bad I have to consciously use other ways to cope along with daydreaming, otherwise it still has a tendency to take over.
I like saying that until a few years back, I was fully living in my head. I had pretty much no life outside of my daydreams. And living fully in your daydreams for that long has had some interesting effects on my psyche and identity.
I've come to realise that I lived through my paraself because of multiple reasons, the main one being masking and being terrified to stop.
I mask way less now, and that's led to me feeling like my paraself, except reverse isekai'd: I barely have any memories outside of my daydreams until the years I "got out of my head", so it feels like being dropped from my world, the one I lived in 95% of the time, into this one.
Since my world is very much full of magic, there's a lot that didn't quite transfer to this body.
In source, I'm a shapeshifter. My constels and main forms are linked to this too: they're the forms I liked to take the most and the things I was and/or related to.
Now I also used to have magic. I could heal with it and create illusions. (I could also bend the elements a bit, but healing and illusions were my main ones).
I discovered earlier in childhood here witchcraft and forms of healing, and I've edged around it for a while (the healing methods, I've been practising witchcraft in this verse ever since I discovered it), but this year I've started learning to heal! It's not quite how it worked for me, but it's similar enough that it makes me really happy to be able to do so again.
For the illusion part, I've found performance arts the closest thing to it. I used to incorporate my magic into my art a lot, and I feel very connected to Everything when I'm performing, it's really euphoric.
That's all I can think about for now ahah, but I might reblog this with additions if I think of any ^^
In any case, thank you so much for the ask anon!! I love yapping and this was such an interesting and lovely question to answer <3
Here's the unpopular opinion I talked about earlier- 'cause apparently people think this movie sucked? And I don't agree - same thing happened with the first movie.
Like, the first movie was described a lot as "an edgy movie for incels" and like...
As a person with disabilities, including mental illnesses, the first movie made me angry on Arthur's behalf. it made me hurt, and it felt great yet sad when he snapped.
Great because he was finally fighting back. Sade because well... He shouldn't have to, it should never have come to this.
The second movie, according to most, seems to be "a mockery of the people who liked the first one".
And frankly, I don't care if it was intended as such, because that's not what I saw.
What I saw, was the same man I'd come to grow attached to and care for in the first movie, dealing with the aftermath of his breakdown and struggling to keep a sliver of sanity and joy and hope in a world that never cared about him and never saw him as a person: only a monster, a freak, only things that excused abuse.
Well, except for the doctors, who saw him like a broken vase. Something fragile. But still not a person.
That last one shows a lot with the "Joker is an alter" theory they cling onto the whole time, when it's clear to the audience that it never was true. It's just Arthur, as he says in the end. it's just Arthur that couldn't take it anymore and did horrible things as a survival reflex.
It shows with the way they expose Arthur in the courtroom: no regards to his dignity and privacy as a person.
The guards are only kind when you act as they see you: a criminal, under them.
The abuse depicted isn't graphic, at least it didn't seem graphic to me. But it still had an enormous impact.
The storyline with Lee I couldn't have been more happy with.
The moment she said "I wanna see the real you" while putting make up on Arthur, i knew how this was going to end. yet, I couldn't help but hope with Arthur. He seemed happy. But every time we saw lee outside of his daydreams, I couldn't be hopeful. Her demeanor screamed what was going to happen.
I loved how Arthur's daydreams portrayed this too. Not just in the obvious ways, like her shooting him.
Music, in the first movie, was how you'd tell a delusion from a daydream. Arthur has music in his daydreams, he's an entertainer, he liked the scene. Lee, however liked the fame. That's the big difference I feel is subtly shown in Arthur's daydreams. He's singing because this is his world, he does whatever, and he likes singing. She's singing because she's performing, she's on a scene, sending a message.
As much as my soft heart wanted Arthur to have a happy ending, whether alone or not, I knew it wouldn't happen, and I don't dislike that.
He'd been on the brink of metaphorically dying when Ricky got killed, and he did when Lee abandoned him.
A happy ending was never an option, and at this point, I'm not sure what would've been more impactful: leaving him there, a shell of himself, or him dying for real - then again I don't think there's an objective answer to that.
I got surprised when he got stabbed. Not because it wasn't predictable: there'd been foreshadowing, it didn't come out of nowhere. No, i got surprised because, the thing with these movies, is that they suck me in.
Between the music, whether in the background or in a more musical fashion, the cinematography (lights, framing,...), along with how I relate to and feel for Arthur, it all has a mesmerizing quality that makes me travel far.
So, when Arthur got called for a visit, I got hopeful, genuinely. Because I didn't have my writer glasses on; that's not fun for a first watch. So I followed along, hoping he'd find a friend on the other side. Who? I had no idea, I just wanted him to be happy.
I was uneasy when he got stopped. I think that even if my conscious was too engrossed to realise the foreshadowing, my subconscious had gotten the message just fine. That's another reason why I felt the movie was well done.
The scene where he actually died, I think everything froze for me.
When I got out of the theater, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom for a few minutes.
See, the thing with my group of friends, is that when we go see a movie, we discuss it immediately. I love that usually, but I was feeling... off. I still don't know what words I could put on what I was feeling. A sort of melancholic hopelessness, all the while knowing that it was just a story, that I wouldn't end up like this. I say this because, i think my first clear thought when i collected myself was "Is there no place for people like us?".
And obviously things aren't as bad as in fiction, but, well... i always make the joke that there's no need to read/watch dystopian stories anymore, because we're living in one. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate these stories. I just feel like we're living in one.
I'm not going to list off why, I'm sure you'll find many reasons yourself, many of which I probably wouldn't even have thought of. Isn't that sad?
I don't have a conclusion to this. There's more hope for most of us than for Arthur. But when you look at the fates of a lot of people like him -not the "power-tripping incels", as I've seen- people with disabilities, people in poverty, people who've or are being abused...
Is there a world where we stop making victims?
Truth is, the real reason I wanted to put this out was to try to get rid of that feeling, the one that caught onto me as I left my cinema seat.
I thought putting it into words would help.
I don't think it did.
It still has a hold on me, although it's less overwhelming that that night, it's still there, a steady feeling for the last few days. I saw the movie last Thursday.
It's not that novel of a feeling. i remember feeling like this once, years ago. When I wasn't a kid anymore, and suddenly the world wasn't pretty.
Now I can see that the world is pretty. Humanity is wonderful.
Still, it sticks to my throat like sticky honey, except it's bittersweet and it feels like rain and thunder and screams.
Have a good day/night, thank you for reading a lunatic's pointless rambles 💚
What is your special interest/hyperfixation? How would you describe your special interest/hyperfixation to someone who knows nothing about it? (You can answer multiple if you have more than one, but this may get lengthy for you.)
One Piece!
I'd say it's a funny but deep and heartbreaking anime/manga with really endearing and interesting characters and big themes of solidarity, found family and freedom.
How did you discover your special interest/hyperfixation? How long ago was it?
Around a year ago I'd say, my partner had been bugging me about me starting, and I ended up caving and accepting to start over (I'd watchted it up to Arlong Park when I was like 12). After a around 6 months of me instisting we watch some every weekend and having the Brainworms™️ about it consistently, I suspected the hyperfixation might might become a special interest as my usual hyperfixations don't last this long.
What is something people might not know about your special interest/hyperfixation?
Emporio Ivankov was based on Frankenfurther from The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Have you had other special interests/hyperfixations in the past?
Yup! I have a lot of hyperfixations, and those are cyclical, usually lasting from a week to three months the disappearing to come back a few months later. Dogs were a special interest when I was a kid, and that's not quite accurate now. My other special interest is art in general (from narration at large, passing by painting, sewing, acting,…)
How much time do you spend on your special interest/hyperfixation? Is it something you do, something you learn about, something you think about, some combination of those, or something else entirely?
I watch it, and I think and daydream about it. I spend around 2h per weekend watching it, and I have Brainworms™️ once every few days
Do you lose track of other things while involved with your special interest/hyperfixation?
I've gotten way better at not losing track of stuff, but it still happens when I get really in the zone yea
Do you often talk to others about your special interest/hyperfixation? If yes, is it generally online or offline?
Yes, my partner listens even though sometimes they get tired of it X) Most times they're very interested though, as they love the series!
Is there anyone in your life (online or offline) that is also interested in your special interest/hyperfixation?
My partnerrr, they're the one that got me into it X)
What are four of your favorite things about your special interest/hyperfixation?
The strawhat's dynamics >>>>
The drag queens
Zoro getting his ass lost
Buggy being a cringefail pathethic little meowmeow
Have you ever received a gift related to your special interest/hyperfixation? If yes, what was it?
Not yet no!
Has your special interest/hyperfixation ever helped you? (Could be emotionally, practically, etc.)
Escapism yaaaay! /lh
Seriously it's just really nice to have a complex world and characters to mull over, I love that!
If your special interest/hyperfixation is something you can display, do you choose to display it? If yes, how do you do so?
Yes! Merch mainly! I even have a handbag with the strawhats' jolly roger on it!
Do you keep any documents you’ve made about your special interest? (A list of articles you’ve read, a document with descriptions of a fantasy world, etc.)
I have a blog where I reblog posts about it I like so i can revisit them ^^
Would you ever want to have a job that involves your special interest/hyperfixation?
Not really
In the short term, do you have anything you’re planning to do soon related to your special interest/hyperfixation?
Like every weekend, watch it some more! I also want to post some headcanons on here
In the long term, where do you see your special interest/hyperfixation going? How are you hoping to incorporate your special interest/hyperfixation further into your life (if you are)?
I want to write a fic with some changes I'd have loved to see, but that's pretty much it!
Would you recommend others get involved in your special interest/hyperfixation? Why or why not?
Yes! I assure you it doesn't seem long if you like it! It's funny but will give you all the feels, and the found family dynamic of the starwhats is the best I've ever seen!
Are there any interests you see becoming a special interest/hyperfixation? If yes, what are they? What makes you think they could become a special interest/hyperfixation of yours?
Not atm no!
End with one (or a few!) more thing(s) about your special interest/hyperfixation of your choosing! (Fun fact, something you recommend a person start with if they’d like to get into your interest, etc.)
If you can, read the manga! the dynamics are explored a lot more!
The live-action is awesome, don't be scared of it!
That's all for me ^v^
Last Sunday, I had the chance of participating in my region's biggest ever choir! It was organised by an awesome company focused on choir singing that I discovered thanks to that event (and with whom I'm planning on doing more stuff).
1200 people joined their voices on Adiemus by Karl Jenkins in a moment so magic it gave me chills.
I can't wait to see the final result of the video we got 🤩
On a smaller note, today I start my second year of singing lessons 🎵🎶💫
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Traveling to the other side of the world is both a terrifying and exciting experience.
I made wonderful friends from both Italy and Quebec, and saw many gorgeous plays!
We also went boating and kayaking on a beautiful lake, and discovered many new things.
It was such an inspiring experience!
I'm waiting to see the others again to know how they see the future for the troupe, but even if the adventure together continues, it'll be rare to work because well, they're nearly all at university now.
I was expecting it, and had mused about what I'd do then already.
I decided to do theatre on my own, and maybe recruit others.
First of though, I think I'll go with a solo performance, but I've not given it much more thought as I'm waiting to adjust into my new routine of aromatherapy and singing lessons.
I'll update you with some more of my ideas and adventures soon!
I'm going to Quebec in less than two weeks to participate to my first ever theatre festival. That sentence still feels unreal to me, yet I've known about this for the last 6 months.
I've been doing theatre since I was 13. I'm 20. And in less than two weeks I'm taking a flight to another continent to perform alongside professionals comedians.
When I come back home, I' going to participate in =my region's biggest ever choir: around 1000 people coming together to sing.
Then I'll get back into singing lessons, start ukulele lessons and an aromatherapy course.
When I got out of school nearly three years ago, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my time here. Now I think I know. I might have to work odd jobs alongside this, but no matter how much capitalism tries to convince me that if you're not in Hollywood you have no chance as an artist, my ambitions are set. Over the last 2 years I've met some amazing people, many of which are t least part-time artists, and a good chunk of those were along my age, at most 6 years older. That showed me it's possible.
Now, those last 2 years (not counting the first of the 3 years, as I was recovering from severe depression) have been... volatile maybe could be a word to describe them? I've found a reason to get up[ in the morning (multiple even), but I wasn't too sure what to do with them. So I settled into a nice little in-between area of life and made it my comfort zone. I'm still not too sure of how, but I've decided to do something with these reasons to live. To enjoy them and build my life around them. I kind of started doing that: I started going to shows a lot more, going to events, creating again, seeing friends and doing fun stuff with them... But I was missing something. I was treating all of that as a side thing. It was more of how I saw my life outside school when I was still in it than my life period.
Except I'm not at school anymore. So outside of that, I felt trapped. By boredom, but also by the impending doom of not knowing what to do with my life.
Sometimes we fail to see the door right in front of us until it hits us in the face. The concerts I participated to for Music Day in my town was the start of me hitting the door. Including that one pro musician who played with us taking me aside to tell me I had potential and should really shoot my shot in music - and not just as a hobby.
The festival being in 2 weeks makes it very real. And that's the rest of the hit.
So, I'm an artist! What now? Well I still have a lot of stuff to figure out, both pertaining to that and just, the rest of my messy life in general.
First I'll focus on the festival. Then, I'll rest and focus on the choir. Once that's done and I'm settled in my courses, I'll start other things. In the meantime though, I am working on an action plan that'll probably have its own post.
Amongst the individual things I'd like to tackle are: making my space feel fully mine again, make my own clothing patterns, make my own clothing, make costumes/cosplays, start an online esoteric shop, publish a book, celebrates the Sabbats more, code my own portfolio, and run a blog.
At least it's what comes to mind right now.
Posting this, my adventure has officially started... And I welcome you to come along if you so wish!
Fun little spooky season questions! (bit late but shhh)
🎃: Would you rather carve pumpkins or paint them?
Both!! I never got the chance to do either and I'd love to try!
👻: Have you ever had a paranormal experience? (Ghost, poltergeist, demon, etc)
A few! I might go more in dept into that in another post if I get the spoons
😈: What is your absolute favorite Halloween costume you've ever worn?
Probably the closet cosplay of Beetlejuice I improvised in 2019 or the skeleton I did- I just wore a gothic outfit and painted bones on my skin basically, but I really liked my skull make-up!
🍁: What is your favorite part about the Halloween season?
The spiritual aspect, the horror movies (not all of them though), the spooky aesthetic in general ^^
🍂: Do you like pumpkin pie? If not, what's your favorite pie?
I don't like the taste of pumpkin in general- I like most fruity pies tbh, but I think my favourite would be a simple berry pie.
🌻: What's your favorite Halloween treat? (Caramel apples, candy corn, a certain chocolate bar, etc!)
I'd love to taste caramel apples, but I've never had the chance! I usually get the weird Halloween candy like the eyeballs and all though!
🎈: What is your favorite movie to watch during spooky season (or your favorite scary movie)?
I love binging Over the Garden Wall!! Perfect mix of cosy autumn and eerie Halloween vibes!
I also like trying to watch new horror movies while staying in my limits- though I have to figure out where it is for gore still
This Halloween season I'm planning to watch Scream and make my lover discover the second It movie (I made her discover the first one last year and we didn't get the chance to watch the second one together yet)
🕯️: Do you prefer haunted houses or haunted mazes?
Both! I'm pretty easily scared but I love being a scare actor and I do love scaring myself so i love doing this kind of stuff!
🧪: Do you like Halloween movies like HalloweenTown and Twitches? If so, what's your favorite movie in that genre?
I've not seen either actually! From what I'm seeing it's a bit like the Christmas movies I used to watch as a kid but for Halloween?? I had no idea that this genre existed and I'm definitely going to give it a try!
⛓️: An iconic Halloween / spooky season memory of yours?
I usually go to tale walks, where you go for a little walk and along the way meet actors that tell a story along with scare actors; or I go to spooky or esoteric markets if I can find some!
🔮: Have you ever been to a costume party? Do you like them (or think you would)?
I don't think I have! I'd love to though! I love dressing up and frankly, dancing and playing around with characters seems like a good time!
☢️: What's your favorite "campfire" scary story?
Not sure I rememeber any!
💀: What's your favorite 'autumn flavor'? (Pumpkin spice, caramel apples etc FLAVORED things)
I don't think I've ever tried pumpkin spice, but I'd like to! Otherwise, I don't think I usually have this kind of stuff.
