This chapter was some fucked up combination of comedic relief and serious character development. I'm pretty sure Fushi dying their hair was supposed to be serious, too... maybe I'm the problem.
Out of all of Fushi's friends, there are only three who have actually experienced "immortality," which came down to killing themselves so they could be revived over and over again for Fushi's convenience. Not pleasant. March, Tonari, and Gugu weren't around for the most brutal parts of the battle in Renryrr, and Kai and Hylo are too polite to confront Fushi about it while their other friends are listening, but Messar can just say what he wants. Which he proceeds to do. I think it's really crazy how Ooima had to remove him from the story in volume 14, when Fushi was still living with their friends, which indirectly proves that he would have pushed the story in a different direction if he'd interacted with Fushi and Mizuha then. Too much power in one character.
Back to my main point: Fushi's acutely aware of how this will inevitably end. Their friends will agree to become immortal, but they'll always resent them for it. They're trying to decide which is worth more, their friends' happiness or their own, but no matter how much they hype themselves up, Fushi can't look Messar in the eyes and say they want him to go through that forever. My second point: Messar in this arc... amazing. Ooima had to give him a handicap but my appreciation for him still skyrockets every time he opens his mouth.
I didn't find Fushi's decision to let their babies go as interesting as some other parts of the chapter, but I wanted to touch on their train of thought that leads from Mizuha to Pioran to their dead friends and how that influenced their choice, so! Pioran, unlike Mizuha, understands when she needs to let go. This is most notable when she decides to die, obviously, but also when she refuses to teach Fushi household chores, knowing that in the end they'll benefit more if they learn from Gugu, and when she tries to get them to leave her in prison. More than that, she was also excellent at steering Fushi away from the shit she didn't want them to see (i.e. sending them away so they didn't see her die; never telling them why she was imprisoned by the Yanome), as opposed to Mizuha who let Fushi see everything. Remembering how uncomfortable that made them, Fushi thinks "wow I CANNOT do that to my friends" and in search of an example to follow, turns to the opposite end of the spectrum: Pioran, of course, but also their friends who were left behind in the same way that Fushi's going to be now.
Rynn, Parona, and Sander also hid their sadness when they left Fushi, because they didn't want to weight them down on their journey (I included the last time we see Rynn and Sander to help illustrate this point). Now Fushi's thinking they should return the favor, which is a natural conclusion, but in my opinion sending your immortal friend off with a smile even if you're not feeling it because you'll probably never see them again and continuously hiding your feelings from your friends while still living with them are not the same. It doesn't help that whenever Fushi's given the opportunity to sacrifice their happiness they take it and run with it. Especially with the hints that there's something else going on later in the chapter, this change seems less like a step forward and more like switching to a new avoidance tactic.
Every damn time I see someone cutting off their hair in whatever I'm reading it's always to signal that the character is a "new person." FnAe's the same, but a little different: Bon and Eko both had their hair cut after being separated from their family through death, specifically, and if we continue the pattern here then... Ooima's making a lot of implications. Interestingly, it was Fushi who first cut Eko's hair, and they later restored her and Bon to their original haircuts, almost negating their character development, in a way? And the second time Eko's hair was cut, it was with the resolve to protect her family. Just. Some stuff to think about.
I'm not done! Because I still need to talk about the symbolic meaning of Fushi dying their hair. I'm having fun. So, when Fushi's hair was white, it was kind of like a veil that separated them from the rest of humanity. It's used when comparing them to god in the previous era, and their white hair continued to mark them as an outsider as they struggle to navigate the present era. One of Fushi's many predicaments is their confusion about whether they should be acting human or playing at god, and when they dye the symbol of their divinity a different color their choice is crystal clear. Or it would be if the didn't have that fucking rope still around their wrist. Not even going to get into that because I have no idea what's going on there.
Finally, I wanted to talk about the Renryrr arc. This chapter was full of allusions to it, but the page where Eko checked Fushi's breathing was drawing parallels in permanent marker so I have to talk about this specifically. After the Renryrr arc, Fushi started prioritizing their own needs thanks to the encouragement of Bon and their other friends. Unfortunately, following Bon's advice to advocate for themselves got them nowhere, so now they've changed course. They're back to where they were at the beginning of the Renryrr arc, they've actually reversed their character development and gone back to lying to their friends and pushing them away. To be fair, they never really stopped, because there's still all the knocker stuff they're not sharing, but they were on the fence about that at least. They've committed for real this time, we know because they got a haircut!
This parallel is saying: "hey, remember how badly Kahaku got fucked up in the Renryrr arc? That was awful, right? His mental breakdown was triggered by his friends continuously lying to him and pushing him away, and guess what's happening right now? Fucking guess :)" Just... casually placing Tonari and Gugu in his prior position. I'm worried for them. Anyways, for the record I don't think this is out of character for Fushi or bad writing or anything. I think it's poggers and I'm excited for the next chapter.
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