.:: kaelitha ::.

You know whats crazy? finally being happy again. Over 7 months I dealt with pain and emotional stress. I relapsed around the holidays and started hurting myself. I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years because I couldn't handle the way he was treating me and the way things were going (my usual seasonal holiday depression was 100x worse because of him). I started to go out. I started to date again. I tried to change myself for others. I pretended to be "ok" but deep down I wasn't. Only a few people knew what I was really going through and the harm I was doing to myself. I was losing my mind. I was at a point where I didn't think I would make it to my 30th birthday. Then after randomly joining a site just for fun about a month ago, I got a message. And that message turned into meeting someone, and that person gave me a whole new outlook on life. We do things. I've seen more things in the past week than I have in the 9 years I've been living here. He's there for me when I need him. He fulfills my needs both emotionally and sexually. Even though I'm scared and paranoid, I'm finally happy. Its also 3 weeks since I last hurt myself. Things are getting better slowly.