❝ You scared of lil’ ole me? I’m Carmen, and who are you? ❞
mutant. red light districts nightmare.
original character. nsfw. like for a starter.
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❝ You scared of lil’ ole me? I’m Carmen, and who are you? ❞
mutant. red light districts nightmare.
original character. nsfw. like for a starter.

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— home. *✲;
Hands riddled with cuts and bruises opens the door to her home and a wave of comfort envelopes itself around her like a ghostly hug welcoming her back to a place she had left so abruptly. Carmen steps inside, confident enough in her skills to bypass her Husband’s security to buy her some time in complete solitude for just a few more minutes. At least, so she hopes. Immediately her thighs are occupied by paws as white as snow, the echoes of happy whining drawing her body to the floor as she embraces the dog that had drawn out the last bit of sanity in her during a time of weakness. Hey buddy. The greeting is unspoken, instead fingers run through fur as her body is pressed against the back of the door as her face is licked.
Carmen was home.
Memories of ferocious shouting, and tireless hours of fighting come back to her in volts of brief pictures and sensations – so she buries her face into Alex’s neck to silence them. But she knows that nothing could silence them, make them quiet? Certainly. But silenced completely, without any remnants of the hell she willingly put herself through to help her father would be but a fools’ wish.
With every step she takes, chaos reigns behind the woman with the Lion’s mane. Hands so violent and eyes like fire, Carmen devours.
It’s a life that she’s hopefully put behind her. Hopefully. For she knows that peace never finds women like her. No matter how much she’d reach, peace remained like the stars in the galaxy. An illusion – a memory of something she could have had a long time ago, yet died right in front of her eyes.
The union with Alex is cut short when Carmen’s ears twitch and her breasts ache. Her child’s name is but simple reminiscent sigh as she stands, feet seeking out the path to their daughter.
Their bedroom had always been her sanctuary. From the moment she moved in and settled into a space that had claimed her, and she it, a long time ago. And it doesn’t surprise her as she stands in the doorway, looking over her husband’s sleeping face and her heart aches. For a man that sacrificed so much, that had been through so much – she made it no easier for him. From drunken fights to her leaving without speaking one word. The moment she fell in love with Nine she promised she would do her best to make sure that even in this fucked up world, she would see a smile on his face even in the most trying of days. A promise she has yet to keep.
A promise she will keep.
Carmen’s never been stable, with hurricane thoughts and her fists acting as the aiding wind she had always did as she pleased. But with the birth of their daughter and the emotional loss of her father, she has realized that her life no longer belonged to her. Selfish antics always left pain in their wake, and she’s tired of hurting others and hurting herself.
The smallest noise from a crib nearby wrenches her attention away from the peaceful sight (ironic how a woman that finds peace in everything never finds peace for herself) and with light steps she looks over to see her daughter staring back at her.
“You look just like your fucking father.” The mumble is immediate as she stares into those familiar storm gray eyes, so haunting and enchanting.
With careful hands, Yumi is swept up into her arms, the baby not making a single sound, aside from the occasional cooing as she familiarizes herself with her mother again. To make this moment just enough for her, she takes the child into the living room sitting in her favorite spot as she looks over the features of the child she left behind to chase after her fathers’ dream of revenge. Her body protests with her movement, yet she grits her teeth and bares through it. Like she always does.
Tiny hands press against her skin, noises resembling that of a confused child only being heard as her finger traces the outlines of their child’s face. She’s beautiful. A gift bestowed onto her family after a tireless nine months and even the few minutes when Carmen thought that she had given birth to a child that was taken from her in the womb. She’s in awe of their daughter and with slow movements, she brings Yumi up to her face to press her forehead against hers.
“Do you remember me?” The question is faint and the silence that stretches is suffocating and for a moment tears prick the corners of her eyes as her tears beg to be released, burning her skin as they roll down her cheeks. She shouldn’t have left.
But the moment she is greeted with a tiny smack, followed by a curious mouth on her nose by a baby that wants to know the world she breathes out a sigh of relief. She remembered her mother, and that’s all that mattered. Carmen promises herself that she would never force her family to question whether she was a ghost to their memory again.
It doesn’t take long for Yumi to begin fussing and Carmen is immediately smacked with the realities of motherhood as she situates herself to breastfeed. But it is the burden that she hoped for, the burden she gave up her exciting sex life for the boredom of vanilla for. It’s a painful process as she’s been away from her baby for a few months and has to get her body accustomed to mommy life. “Shit you even breastfeed like your dad.” The joke draws out a genuine laugh that brings her heart joy. It’s been so long since she laughed like this, idle fingers stroking the hairs on Yumi’s head.
The familiar clearing of a throat draws her attention to Nine, a man that didn’t take shit from her when they first met and still continued to chastise her – even in her dreams. She knows they’re going to have to talk about her absence, but for now she gives him a look to let him know that she’s recommitting to her life as not only a mother, wife, and friend, but as Carmen. A grin pulls at her lips and she leans back a bit as Yumi feeds. “Honey, I’m home.”
@theseelenine

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— - jaemen coffee dates feat. caffeinated territorial touches. baby baby you’re caramel macchiato, near my lips your scent is sweet ♪
❝ Jae, look at this twat oh my god. ❞
Keep reading
❝ ♕ // STUBBORN STARFIRE ❞
SHE CAN’T HELP THE GIGGLE THAT FALLS OUT OF HER MOUTH as carmen continues her sentiment. she’s right, marlowe wouldn’t last a day in jail. girls like her are made for only glitter & glamor. ❝ but why would i end up in jail when i’m not the one who killed the guy? ❞ she bats her eyelashes playfully, following the statement with a nod. ❝ yes, actually. like i said, it might be fun. why don’t you give me some training NOW in case i do end up in the slammer? ❞
Mouth closing as she is proven to silence, her teeth sink into her bottom lip to keep her shame from spilling from her lips. There was nothing more disapproving than the phrase I don’t know and she’d be damned if she said it. ❝ you’re an accessory to crime, although a cute accessory like a choker, but that’s illegal. ❞ a huff as she takes sudden interest with her nails. ❝ if you’re up for it, I’d be happy to. ❞ an uncanny grin forms, taking delight in violence was her forte and to teach others the very thing that made her happy would result in a celebratory drink that would put her on her ass. ❝ or, I could just teach you how to stab people.❞
❝ ♕ OOC — ❞
tis i, the impromptu hiatus queen. i apologize for my absence, life got a little crazy and i’m attempting to manage my time better now. i’ll be doing replies mostly on the weekend and having my queue running throughout the week to keep up activity. you can reach me via IM, aim (ovokos) and on my rp twt (ovokos) if you’d like to chat, keke it up or what have you. i apologize for anyone waiting on a reply, starter and or meme from me!
much love and hugs. xo.
(sms) is it weird having life inside you
❝ 💌 SMS : Jaeyoon ❞ i wouldn’t say it’s weird but it’s a bit unnerving. ❝ 💌 SMS : Jaeyoon ❞ every time i wake up, sleep, eat or do just about anything i know i have to do things in moderation because i’m no longer living for myself. this might sound weird but i kind of feel like a god, knowing that the child growing inside of me is completely dependent on me. it’s a lot of pressure for someone that practices self deprecating ways every day. but it’s nice.❝ 💌 SMS : Jaeyoon ❞ except when i wake up in the middle of the night to throw up - that fucking sucks.
@crookedflesh
To: [email protected] From: [email protected]
You’re sending to Carmen Lee [email protected] ₩60,000,000
Add a note:
jessie,
hey, congrats on the whole getting married thing. i’m amazed that you and jaebum were able to stop being stubborn enough to fall in love and junk. and now you’re having a baby too? holy shit, that’s disgusting, but i’m happy for you? i guess. you’re like a whole adult and a half now! anyway, i suck at this whole sentimental friend crap (obviously) and also at giving gifts, so take this as a token of my appreciation. i don’t know what people usually give for babies and marriages, but i hope this is enough to suffice? get your monster baby some sweet goth shit in my honor and then use the rest to male your mcr fan husband to lighten up a little maybe (they broke up four years ago, bro, it’s time to move on!).
i know i never say so, but i’m glad we’re friends. thanks for putting up with me for so long, even though we both know i’m annoying as fuck. lowkey, i’m depressed that i’ll never get to pork you, but as long as you’re happy, it’s fine. don’t you dare show jaebum this, i swear to satan!
have a great life. you deserve it.
best wishes,
james
To: [email protected] From: [email protected]
James,
I’m incredibly flattered, taken aback – just absolutely DISGUSTED by this gesture. Honestly I’m really grateful for this little display of affection considering how you are. I will archive this among the things I can blackmail you with. But honestly, thank you. Despite me being a hot ass mess when we first met, and even up until this point of me being a more controlled mess you never fail to call me out on my shit. How are things with you? I’ve actually missed your little grumpy ass. I’m actually still mad you say things like pork, you’re not some American frat boy. I don’t think I can ever express my gratitude to you and all of your entirety enough but I do want you to know that I’m thankful for you just being you.
We need to actually get together soon. Who still communicates via emails with their friends? You, fucking weirdo.
I plan on coming to bother you very soon, I love you.
Jessie.

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character thesis q&a:
To him: When you knew that I was weak and she unstable, why would you leave me alone with her. I clutched at your pants leg, told you what she let them do to me but still you LEFT me. I was so young, I didn’t want those men touching me daddy. You knew about it. You fucking knew and still you let them hurt me, you let them strip every last piece of innocence I had from me until I was nothing more than personification of hate. I’m trying to live my life happily, I’m trying to forgive you – but you let them hurt me. I can’t help but to think that if all of this fucked up shit didn’t happen to me, maybe I wouldn’t have been turned into some mafia’s man WHORE, maybe I wouldn’t have discovered the name that I was born with, maybe I wouldn’t have married the love of my life and wouldn’t have killed my best friend to get the son I have now. Did you know that I would bleed venom and become the personification of everything evil that triggered violent outbursts? You knew, didn’t you? Yet you let me rot in a personal hell that even YOU didn’t want to face. I hope you die with the remembrance that I am still alive, and I hate you with every fiber of my fucking being.
About names, possession and everything I have never admitted to anyone: Chanmi belongs to her mother, her eyes void of any emotion but fear. Shackled by the sins of someone she hadn’t spoken to in years. She belongs in the deepest grave in the deepest part of the ocean, surrounded by watery serpents that slide down her throat and suffocate her lungs (die, you weak fuck, DIE). Carmen’s wrapped in the arms of Hades’ a man that speaks of promising riches and a legacy that will never fade even when the lights fade from hers. She belongs to a world that wishes her death, but can’t help but to respect. They know Carmen will never die, never cease to be the woman and monster she can transform to be. Everything about Carmen is a false image that she has conjured up for herself to protect her fragile mindset, refusing to let anyone break her (she wishes her touch was gentle, she wishes she was soft). Haru, belongs to her family. She is Zephyrs’ spoken word, she is the wind tousling her family’s hair as peals of laughter leaves their lips. Haru is the woman Carmen wishes she could be.
To angels: Can you tell Tiffany that I’m sorry? I don’t deserve it, but I want her to know that I am. Touch her heart, fill it with reassurance that her child is safe - and I apologize for robbing her of the joy that I currently get to experience. Tell her that I love her, please... Just for me.
Questions to death: Will you take my husband before you take me? Will you allow our children to grow up in a world where their mother is broken because she can not live without their father? I don’t care about my life, but please do not let a day goes by where you take my children or my husband away from me, leaving me to deal with a piece of my soul being ripped away from me.
To her: I did not come from your womb, but you told me when I was a child that I was yours. I hope you burn in the hell that you created. I hope that you are punished every fucking moment of your afterlife and you are forced to watch the image of me telling your boyfriends to stop, over and over and over and OVER again. I don’t regret yanking your teeth out with my bare hands, nor do I regret kicking you in the fucking face until pieces of your brain were on my FUCKING shoes. Why did you let them do that to me? I loved you, I TRUSTED you. I was a little girl, and you let them HURT me. What did I ever do to you, what did I do? Why did you hate me? I loved you, I loved you, I loved you. But you fucking hated me.
Questions to the body: Does it exhaust you to know that I won’t stop until I collapse? Do you forgive me for giving you away when I told myself that I would take no more? Do you hate me for staring at you in the mirror for hours, pointing out every single flaw and wanting to take a knife to cut out each piece of me that I hate? Do you love the way Nine loves you? Does his praise make up for the hateful things I said to you? Does this baby growing inside of me make you want to give everything you have just to be at peace?
To the heart: I am sorry for letting you get hurt so many times and doing nothing about it. I am sorry for ripping you out of my chest to give to others that desecrated you just because you were a prize to be won, and that’s all. I am trying to make it better, our family is trying to make it better. But I fear you are so far damaged, nothing could ever fix you. How can I love another when you are still mending yourself? Can you forgive me for the damage I’ve done to you?
tagged by: @glitchedcraft (fight me son!!) tagging: @theseelenine / @filenctfound / @rippuku / @aidonaea / @inwolvesteeth (if i have to hurt so do you guys!)
❝ 💌 SMS : 일심동체 ❞ time out is not happening, i’m not 12. you sit in a corner. ❝ 💌 SMS : 일심동체 ❞ it’s what you said. not ugly enough for you not knock up but, whatever helps you sleep at night. ❝ 💌 SMS : 일심동체 ❞ cute. you’re cute. strangle me with a rope. ❝ 💌 SMS : 일심동체 ❞ don’t blame me for your pent up aggression. i am not bad for your health, if anything you’re bad for my health. that sounds like a we’re in the middle of our marriage and need to rekindle our flame trip. not a honeymoon trip. ❝ 💌 SMS : 일심동체 ❞ good thing i behold everything.
❝ ♕ — 30 Day Writing Challenge: 5/30 ❞
SMELL. Describe a smell unique to your muse that comforts them, go into detail about why it became their association to comfort.
Looking back at her life, Carmen has never had a security blanket other than the explosive temper that she harbored. The violence that came along with it was enough to pacify her, and she never looked to anything else.
But there is always an exception.
The smell of Honeydew, more specifically, sugar coated Honeydew is enough to send her back to a time where her laugh was innocent, and her touch clumsy but gentle.
Chanmi is fourteen again, sitting on the counter in a secluded apartment that reminded her of love and happiness. A woman stands before her of Korean-German descent, and she adopts Chanmi’s heart as her own taking care of it the way she wished her mother would have. Strands of chestnut coloured hair bounce with each stride the woman takes as she flits about the kitchen as if it were her stage, and Chanmi’s eyes widen with wonder.
Carmen, I want to be like you when I get older.
❝ ♕ — continuation feat. @gumihc ❞
ARROGANT. She had always been arrogant, shifting into a skin that rejected feeling normal – feeling human. It wasn’t a luxury that she could afford, and with the way the words dripped from her lips resembling that of the infamous ferryman Charon (a less gentle undertaker so to speak) she didn’t want to afford it. Her gaze shifts, curiosity in green speckled irises as she looks over the woman beside her. It is in her nature to size others up, instinct bringing her to look for weak spots that she can scratch at slowly only to tear it all away.
people make me nervous.
Used to proximity whether it be from friends, foes or simple strangers, not a word is uttered when the space between them grows just that much smaller. There’s an aching feeling in the pit of her stomach that something isn’t quite right, that she shouldn’t be so quick to dispel such information – but Carmen never listens to anyone. Not even herself for that matter. “Then they are not dead to you.” Is her response after her thoughts trip over themselves to find a piece of advice to ease the woman’s mind. “The dead of mine do not speak because I kill everything that comes along with them. You’d be surprised how taunting spirits can be when they see just a SLIVER of weakness.”
She speaks from experience – the dead of hers coming back to haunt her in dreams, tormenting the experiment with the images of her sin (no matter how many time she repents, they still come for her). “Is your heart w e a k, Ahreum?” The inquiry is featured with a tilt of her head, her gaze steady as her fingers instinctively curl around her cup seeking the warmth, silently willing it to warm her heart too.

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❝ ♕ — continuation feat @erxsus ❞
A lazy stretch of her arms, followed by an unceremonious groan of a tired soul is all she needs to express her complete indifference to life at this very moment. The response she gets is enough to make her BURST into a fit of laughter (always theatrical, this one). “What is the point of living if you’re just going to die peacefully?” Reckless fingers dip into the pool of water within her reach, baiting the fish swimming to and fro to play a game of chance. “I feel like you should die how you lived – go out properly, y’know?” Eyes narrowing in suspicion, she observes the others facial features for signs that she needs to either pay attention or ask for help from another – who knew at this point.
“No allusion, I am just the person to tell you that life, fucking s u c k s sometimes.” She concludes with a graceful clap of her hands as she stands, a sign of unsatisfied limits being barely met. “People try to guilt trip others into wanting to live. I don’t think you should fear death, but like you said, just the way you die.” Shoulders lifting in a mock shrug she looks to the woman with curiosity in her gaze. “If you had to throw yourself off of a building or drown, which would you choose?”
❝ ♕ — @aidonaea / ENCHANTRESS ❞
✄ - - -
The goddess still exists because of people like her. Greedy for the truth that only she could provide. She can and she will, though she’s known to not play nice. Nothing is free in this world, even with the likes of her.
“Since you’re so curious how about I make you a deal?”
“There’s a first time for everything.”
A dismissive wave of her hand, head nodding in affirmation. There was animosity in her voice, yes, but as for tantrums this couldn’t even be categorized as such, especially on Carmen’s scale. Fingers lacing through one another, nails scraping at the pale skin – anxiety etches itself into her behavior. The answer she is given suffices, tames the growing curiosity, the desire to peak into another’s lifestyle. It’s what kept her sane sometimes, knowing that others were weighted with the hardships of life just like she was.
“Hotel lounges are for the lonely during the witching hour, you should know that by now.” Extending her hand outwards she examines her nails, gaze lazily flickering to Yue’s face. Of course she had her reasoning for loitering in the lobby, lounging about while one of her workers were giving their service to another but, there was something different about this. The way the air sat around Yue’s shoulders, giving her an ethereal glow that made Carmen’s eyes narrow and pushed her nerves to its. “Or maybe you just have a knack for attracting poor bastards such as myself.” There’s truth in every joke, her head tilting in amusement. Something about the woman, she admired and even applauded – but what was it?
Taking a stand she presses her hand against the small of her back as she familiarizes herself with gravity once again, stretching her legs (she never learned to sit still). “You can’t provide me with the answers I’m looking for.” She’s intrigued, yet she is not foolish. Dipping in and out of a profession of lies and cheating beyond any normal humans moral code has taught her better.
“But you do have my interest, what kind of deal?”