﴾ Kanavu ﴿

It doesn’t matter how many years pass, I still find myself stunned by this pair.

The scale of what each of them risks. The ontological shock that follows.

I do assume some kind of building attraction. Something that, at first, can be denied as immersion in work, and then a little later on in their acquaintance rationalised as admiration or intellectual affinity. Something that, by the time we get to the visit from Thomas’s father, has shifted into something more persistent. Emotionally charged pauses in conversation, awareness of proximity, whatever it is that tells them this is a pattern, and that the other is aware of it too. The beginnings of mutual recognition and the creeping certainty that this matters more than it should. The knowledge that these feelings only show up with each other and nobody else.

But all of that is still manageable. Restraint feels like control. In their socially-constrained world, that’s all perfectly normal.

And then James makes his incredible, risk-it-all declaration. He publicly aligns himself with Thomas against his father, rejecting a powerful man, a peer of the realm, transferring the risk that was until then only pointed at Thomas on to himself. And moreover, he breaks his own strategic operating rules. This is a man who survives by careful calibration, restraint, strategic positioning, and he abandons all of that in a single, visible act. He as good as says out loud, “You are more important to me than the system I have built my life around, and the position I have attained with it.”

For Thomas this must be overwhelming. He’s used to being dismissed by his father, and misunderstood by the society peers who think of him as a radical. James’s declaration is immediate and deliberate, and it comes despite his understanding of exactly what it costs. And since James has just destabilised the hitherto safe ambiguity between them, withdrawal would now feel like an insult; a rejection of what has just been offered at great cost. The emotional conditions have changed. He has proof. He can no longer continue not acting and remain intact. And so he is decisive. He chooses action over contemplation. He gets up, he walks over, he closes the distance between them. It’s not so much a sudden impulse as a need to answer a declaration that might not have used the terminology of love but was unmistakably an act of it.

Until that point, everything James has done could still be framed as principle, loyalty, and conviction, but Thomas’s movement reframes it completely. Ambiguity fully collapses into certainty. He knows what he just did and knows that Thomas understands it too. And he knows they both know why. There is no longer any point in pretending. He couldn’t possibly justify it on any of his usual principles, but he’s just experienced a collapse of all the systems that require justification. And so he leans in.

It’s such an enormous risk. For both of them, but especially for James. Externally utterly unsafe. Unsafe at any speed. But internally, it’s inevitable.

The Tower shows a tall tower perched on the top of a rocky mountain. Lightning strikes set the building alight, and two people leap from the windows, head first and arms outstretched. It is a scene of chaos and destruction.

The Tower itself is a solid structure, but because it has been built on shaky foundations, it only takes one bolt of lightning to bring it down. It represents ambitions and goals made on false premises.

The lightning represents a sudden surge of energy and insight that leads to a break through or revelation. It enters via the top of the building and knocks off the crown. The people are desperate to escape from the burning building, not knowing what awaits them as they fall. Around them are 22 flames, representing the 12 signs of the zodiac and 10 points of the Tree of Life suggesting that even in times of disaster, there is always divine intervention.

- The Tower, Tarot description from Rider Waite cards

Knocks off the Crown: The significance of this scene

"Again and again, no matter how I lay them out--"

And she pulled a card dramatically from underneath her shawls.

"--the lightning-struck tower," she whispered. "Calamity. Disaster. Coming nearer all the time . . ." - Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

The chapter that makes Harry feel "he must abandon for ever the illusion he ought to have lost at the age of one: that the shelter of a parent's arms meant that nothing could hurt him. (...) the last and greatest of his protectors had died and he was more alone than he had ever been before."

The chapter where Harry transitions into an adult, as a leader, looked at by members of the Order of Phoenix as "Harry is the best hope we have, trust him." The chapter where Snape, a fellow "abandoned boy" Harry later recognises, commits patricide and kills his father figure, Albus Dumbledore at his request.

It's a transfer of power - Dumbledore falls off the tower, Harry takes the metaphorical crown and resolves to destroy Horcruxes, while Snape continues to enact Dumbledore's will from the shadows.

2. One Bolt of Lightning to Bring it Down: The flaw in the plan

"Expelliarmus!"

Harry's body became instantly rigid and immobile, and he felt himself fall back against the Tower wall, propped like an unsteady statue, unable to move or speak. (...) Dumbledore had wordlessly immobilised Harry, and the second he had taken to perform the spell had cost him the chance of defending himself. (HBP)

In the moment of danger, Dumbledore immobilises Harry to stop him from intervening in a potentially dangerous situation, exposing him to Draco's Expelliarmus. The alliegiance of the Elder Wand, whose power Dumbledore intended would die with him, shifts to Draco Malfoy. Dumbledore acted just as he lamented in the ending chapters of OOTP: "I cared about you too much. (...) In other words, I acted exactly as Voldemort expects we fools who love to act."

Harry recognises the flaw in the ending chapters of Deathly Hallows, and wins the Elder wand with an Expelliarmus too. Interestingly, it's a spell Harry learnt by observing Snape in Duelling Club with Lockhart.

but Harry had lost his temper. He pulled out his wand and shouted, "Expelliarmus!" and just as Snape had disarmed Lockhart, so Malfoy found the diary shooting out of his hand into the air. (COS)

When he uses it later in the book, he refers to Snape as "Professor" unprompted, crediting him for what would later turn out to be his signature spell:

"Expelliarmus!”

Lockhart was blasted backward (...) "Shouldn’t have let Professor Snape teach us that one,” said Harry furiously, kicking Lockhart’s trunk aside. (COS)

Snape would later be killed by Voldemort, in his quest to gain power over the Elder wand.

3. The Tower: Conspiring to save Draco's soul

Two men met at a windy hilltop, the leader of Order of Phoenix and a Death Eater, begging for the life of a woman he loved. The leader asked what he would get in return, the former Death Eater said, "Anything" and an alliance was formed. These are the two men working for the war, making difficult decisions - as Dumbledore said, "Giving Voldemort what appears to be crucial information while withholding the essentials is a job I would entrust to nobody but you." - carrying burdens of deaths on their conscience.

Dumbledore: "How many people have you watched die?"

Snape: "Lately those who I cannot save "

In HBP, they conspire to save Draco's soul.

"That boy's soul is not yet so damaged," said Dumbledore. "I would not have it ripped apart on my account."

"And my soul, Dumbledore? Mine?"

"You alone know whether it will harm your soul to help an old man avoid pain and humiliation," said Dumbledore. (DH)

We have Dumbledore on the tower, trying to reach Draco, trying to spare him from the kill ("killing is not as easy as innocent believe") while Snape has taken the Unbreakable Vow to take Draco's place, to do it in his stead. Harry and Snape save Draco from being a murderer three times in this book - one, Harry finds Katie Bell and takes the cursed necklace to the castle and Snape saves her,

"Still very unwell, although she was relatively lucky. She appears to have brushed the necklace with the smallest possible amount of skin; there was a tiny hole in her glove. Had she put it on, had she even held it in her ungloved hand, she would have died, perhaps instantly. Luckily Professor Snape was able to do enough to prevent a rapid spread of the curse --"

"Why him?" asked Harry quickly. "Why not Madam Pomfrey?"

"Professor Snape knows much more about the Dark Arts than Madam Pomfrey, Harry. Anyway, the St. Mungo's staff are sending me hourly reports, and I am hopeful that Katie will make a full recovery in time. "

two, Harry when he remembers the Prince's instructions about the bezoar and saves Ron, in a way embodying Snape,

"Don't start, Hermione," said Harry. "If it hadn't been for the Prince, Ron wouldn't be sitting here now. "

"He would if you'd just listened to Snape in our first year," said Hermione dismissively.

and then, with Dumbledore's consent and orders on both counts, Harry weakens Dumbledore and Snape kills him.

Hating himself, repulsed by what he was doing, Harry forced the goblet back toward Dumbledore's mouth and tipped it, so that Dumbledore drank the remainder of the potion inside.

To

Snape gazed for a moment at Dumbledore, and there was revulsion and hatred etched in the harsh lines of his face.

"Severus . . . please . . . "

Snape raised his wand and pointed it directly at Dumbledore.

"Avada Kedavra!"

When Draco approaches him, Dumbledore tries to get him to join the right side - the same way, years ago, he met another Death Eater at the hill top and gained a spy. The conversation between Draco and Dumbledore, and Snape and Dumbledore goes differently - but it has the same elements, Dumbledore in control, in position of power in the conversation, and both Snape and Draco (despite his bravado), fearful and at his mercy.

The adult Snape was panting, turning on the spot, his wand gripped tightly in his hand, waiting for something or for someone... His fear infected Harry too, (...) Then a blinding, jagged jet of white light flew through the air. Harry thought of lightning, but Snape had dropped to his knees and his wand had flown out of his hand.

"Don't kill me!"

"That was not my intention."

With Draco, it is Dumbledore, who has been weakened by the potion, who is physically lower than him, and is wandless. One could misread that power dynamic in the situation, as Draco certainly does. But Dumbledore reminds us and Draco, in a chilling moment, who really holds power:

"But I got this far, didn't I?" he said slowly. "They thought I'd die in the attempt, but I'm here . . . and you're in my power . . . I'm the one with the wand . . . you're at my mercy . . ."

"No, Draco," said Dumbledore quietly. "It is my mercy, and not yours, that matters now. "

Malfoy did not speak. His mouth was open, his wand hand still trembling. Harry thought he saw it drop by a fraction--

It is through Dumbledore and Snape's mercy that Draco's soul is saved, and it is through Harry's mercy in DH, Draco's life is saved.

Harry could not see a trace of Malfoy, Crabbe, or Goyle anywhere. He swooped as low as he dare over the marauding monsters of flame to try to find them, but there was nothing but fire: What a terrible way to die.... He had never wanted this (....)

"IF WE DIE FOR THEM, I'LL KILL YOU, HARRY!" roared Ron's voice, and, as a great flaming chimaera bore down upon them, he and Hermione dragged Goyle onto their broom and rose, rolling and pitching, into the air once more as Malfoy clambered up behind Harry.

4. Even in Times of Disaster, there is Always Divine Intervention: Patricide

Dumbledore functions as the God figure in the story, who both Harry and Snape project their attachment trauma on. I go into Snape's need in a meta here.

They both go through similar arcs with Dumbledore - they both consider him a great, powerful wizard. ("Dumbledore has been a great wizard - yes he has - the Dark Lord acknowledges it" Snape tells Bellatrix in HBP)

They both have been in his office at the time of their biggest emotional breakdown:

"DON'T!" bellowed Snape. "Gone...dead..."

"Is this remorse, Severus?"

"I wish...I wish I were dead..." (DH)

Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. 'I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON'T CARE ANY MORE--' (OOTP)

They come out of that office, forged as Dumbledore's men - Snape, promising to protect Harry and Harry, with his knowledge of Voldemort's past, wanting to finish what they started.

They both have watched Dumbledore remove his god-like image in their eyes and become human - where Harry watches Dumbledore plead and beg in the cave due to the effect of the potion and when Dumbledore begs Snape to kill him.

They both go through similar disillusionment with him-

"You refuse to tell me everything, yet you expect that small service of me!" snarled Snape, and real anger flared in the thin face now. "You take a great deal for granted, Dumbledore! Perhaps I have changed my mind!" (DH) + the infamous "You have used me" scene.

"Maybe I am!" Harry bellowed. "Look what he asked from me, Hermione! Risk your life, Harry! And again! And again! And don't expect me to explain everything, just trust me blindly, trust that I know what I'm doing, trust me even though I don't trust you! Never the whole truth! Never!" (DH)

Ultimately, even with their disillusionment, they both choose to enact Dumbledore's plan, choosing the Greater Good. Snape passes on the knowledge that Harry has to sacrifice himself, in effect choosing the Greater good over his own personal atonement (saving Lily's son for her) and Harry chooses to walk to his death.

It is safe to say, that Harry is speaking for both of them here:

"Because," said Harry, "sometimes you've got to think about more than your own safety! Sometimes you've got to think about the greater good! This is war!"

What's quietly devastating about Dumbledore's death is that Dumbledore, who until then held power over Snape, shifts the power dynamic between them and pleads, asks for something he knows Snape doesn't want to do, hates to do.

Snape gifts Dumbledore his death, a gift of "a great adventure" to a well organised mind, an act of mercy that condemns him to be looked at by the very side he is fighting for as a monster. Snape has no way of knowing that Harry would try to restore his reputation and let his deeds be known, he condemns himself to a life of fighting alone and dying alone in an utterly miserable, violent death and unknown in that act.

However, Harry, the Christ figure of the story, arrives. In his own act of mercy, he goes to Snape's body, not quite knowing why. And Snape, after an act of self immolation that condemned himself, asks Harry to look at him - to see who he really is. Harry does. He sees the totality of who Snape is, and chooses to honour him as "the bravest man he ever knew" in act of forgiveness and gratitude.

Written with input from @urupotter

this specific genre of photography brings me so much peace

And who is your favorite character? Mine is Harry.

My favourite character is Harry. I think he is a well written compelling protagonist as well as a character I am sentimentally attached to as I grew up reading the books.

So, I have lots of thoughts on this! So prepare for slightly meta-ish thoughts.

Coming off the heels of my Harry and Conflict post, I noted that Harry's relationship with Hermione improves in the Half Blood Prince. He doesn't need Ron as a buffer anymore to protect him from confrontations, nor is he subjecting Hermione to unregulated outbursts as we see in OOTP. And this dynamic change - I think - is sensed subconsciously by Ron. This is the first book that Ron treats Harry as a threat for Hermione's attention - "What's so great about that? I would have told him the same thing (when Hermione glows about the fact that Harry told Slughorn that she is the best in their year)" or the time Ron tries to get her attention again when she talks about how Harry has gotten fanciable. Or the time when Harry quietly confronts Hermione about confunding McLaggen by holding her back and letting Ron go into great hall. And Ron appears, looking suspicious: "what are you two doing?"

In GOF, it is established that Ron both loves Harry deeply and views Harry as someone above him (a hero who does cool things). So he gets threatened by the attention Harry gets, because it excaberates his own feelings of worthlessness, seeded in by being the forgotten middle child.

In DH, Ron is actively wooing Hermione, and confronts Harry on his treatment of Ginny ("You ditched her. What are you doing, messing her around?"). It is this perceived lack of care for things Ron cares about that triggers Ron's outburst in DH: "Didn't you hear what they said about my sister? Not bothered what it meant, did you?" or "Mine could be going the same way! (When Harry shouts "my parents are dead!")"

Ron essentially has a crisis of faith in Harry, in a similar way Harry has one for Dumbledore: like Harry felt about Dumbledore, he felt Harry is not showing concern for his family (and we know from Harry's narration that's not true, but Harry is poor at outwardly expressing this in action), he views Harry as a hero and cannot fathom why Hermione is interested in him over Harry and now he doesn't know why Harry is not leading them into a well charted path. He feels Harry doesn't care about him. There is a lot of projection of his insecurities happening in a situation where he is injured, hungry and miserable.

And yet, what is admirable and testament to Ron's love for Harry (and Hermione) is that he returns despite thinking he may not be needed, that Hermione may indeed prefer Harry over him. Ron travels alone, in unknown terrain for days, searching for them despite putting himself down as useless for them. The locket episode is important for Harry and Ron's equation not only because Harry assures Ron that he is no rival for Hermione's attention but for the most important one of Ron's insecurities: that everyone will prefer Harry to him.

Harry says something that equalises himself with Ron, trying to break the hero pedestal Ron put him on subconsciously: "Stuff like that always sounds cooler than it really was. I have been trying to tell you that for years" when Ron dismisses his actions in the locket episode with "That makes me sound lot cooler than I was".

One of my last metas on Harry was how his abuse at the Dursleys informed who he is as a person and a lot of his main personality traits. This time, I want to explore Harry's relationship with conflict, mostly in regard to his best friends - Ron and Hermione.

First things first, because of his abusive upbringing where he is constantly in conflict with his caregivers, conflict is seen as Bad Thing when we first meet him as a 11 year old. And it informs how he reacts to both Ron and Hermione at first. He instantly relates to Ron because Ron is an underdog - a boy who feels neglected and passed over in his large and boisterous family. Harry shares his own experience of neglect with Ron and they both bond instantly.

His initial impression of Hermione is that she has a "bossy sort of voice" . The bossiness is an important characterstic to his impression of her - she reminds him of an authority figure and he does not particularly take to her as easily as he does Ron. Before the troll incident, he is frequently annoyed by her interventions because "he can't believe anyone would be so interfering". It's her vulnerability and the fact that she may be in danger that makes Harry, and by extension Ron, go after her. And she pays it back in full with a demonstration of loyalty to them in front of people she wants to impress: teachers. This sets the tone of his friendship with Ron and Hermione.

There is sense of easiness to his friendship with Ron, especially in earlier books that he doesn't quite share with Hermione. This is a bit gendered as well, of course. His relationship with Hermione evolves as Ron's own equation with two of them changes, more specifically Ron's cognisance of his romantic feelings for Hermione. So how does this inform his relationship with personal conflict?

Let's look at it Book wise.

Book 1-4: Since Harry tends to see All Conflict As Bad, when Hermione becomes his friend, he tends to ignore traits of her that he particularly doesn't take to. Specifically her argumentativeness - which he usually leaves Ron to deal with. For example, look at when Hermione drags him off to the kitchens in GOF. When he realises what this is about, he nudges Ron, and Ron does the protesting: "Hermione, you are trying to rope us into that spew stuff again!".

Often, you can say he is amused by Ron's more ..let's say colourful.. reactions to Hermione being overbearing. So when Ron and him are not speaking and Hermione gets a Quidditch term wrong, it causes him "a pang to imagine Ron's expression of he could have heard Hermione talking about Wonky Faints". It's that deeply ingrained into the dynamic.

While Ron acts buffer and protects Harry from stepping into a potential conflict ("skip the lecture", "don't nag" he tells her), Harry's world view remains quite the same. Part of Harry's growing up is integrating conflicting points of view and gaining nuance. For example, he can't understand why someone like Snape, who seems to hate him so much, can also save his life at the end of Philosopher's Stone. This is his first venture into trying to integrate two conflicting things about a person into nuance. Dumbledore gives him a very easily digestible story, one that appeals to his ideal of his father and Harry is sated.

Again, Harry's world view is tested when he finds out that he relates with Tom Riddle - for their "strange likenesses". He doth protest too much at Dumbledore's office: "I don't think I am like him! I am Gryffindor!". And Dumbledore offers him a wisdom nugget: "It's our choices which define who we are" (paraphrasing). Harry is uncomfortable that he empathises with Tom Riddle, his parents' murderer, at this point in the story.

In the first four books, his only proper personal conflict has been with Ron.

It is depressing to think about in these terms - but Ron is Harry's first experience of unconditional love (we can even put Hagrid here, but he is not the one who spends most time with Harry). And when Ron and him fight, Harry is so hurt by the prospect that he proceeds to abandon Ron before Ron abandons him. (the whole chucking a "Potter stinks" badge at him and making a jab about having a scar is what he wants, or the fight in DH where he yells "then leave! Pretend you have gotten over your spattergoit and have your mummy feed you up"). It's an interesting defense mechanism and he feels "corrosive hatred" towards Ron during these times because Ron and him aren't supposed to be like this. Ron is a certainty in his life. It's also why when Ron comes back, Harry either doesn't need him to apologise (as in GOF) or quickly forgives him in DH - although I do think Harry thinks the locket bit was punishment enough. But even without the whole locket, I think Harry has trouble holding Ron accountable in general beyond few slaps on the wrist - especially if Ron and he are on good terms.

5th Book: This is the transition point for Golden Trio friendship. Harry has come back from an immensely traumatising night at the graveyard and his PTSD isolates him from his best friends. This is also the point where Ron, especially after GOF, is aware of his romantic feelings for Hermione ("the perfume is unusual Ron", Hermione tells him in this book). So in this book, we often see Ron and Hermione on one side, with Harry on the other.

Ron is unwilling (quite like Harry in that respect) to engage him in a direct conflict, but he is also unwilling to shield him from Hermione's nagging in this book. This is why, OOTP is the book where you see Harry ignore or avoid Hermione and lie to her more than usual to avoid conflict. For example, he tells her that Snape thinks he can carry on Occlumency once he got the basics - that is categorically not what happened. Or the entire day he spends ignoring Hermione's warnings about breaking into Umbridge's office. (The description here is comical - about Hermione vehemently hissing so much that Seamus Finnigan is checking his cauldron for leaks. ) If he cannot lie to her or avoid her, at the end of the rope, he will treat her to display of his frightening temper.

Interestingly, OOTP is also the book that his world view goes through a tremendous upheaval: mainly, his ideal of his father and having empathy for Snape. It is unnerving for Harry to see Snape being the "boy who cried in the corner" when his father shouts at a cowering woman. Similarly unnerving is that his intense empathy for him - "he knew exactly what Snape felt when his father taunted him and judging by what he had seen, his father was every bit as arrogant as Snape always told him".

While he is placated that his father grew out of it, this memory of his father being a bully is something he cannot bear to watch again in DH. Few chapters later, he grins at Ron "sweeping his hair" back to make it look more windswept, just like his father - suggesting that Harry is beginning to integrate two conflicting things he knew about his father: from the people who loved him vs the people he was cruel to.

6th Book onwards: It's interesting to me that his better appreciation for Hermione comes after OOTP (one, because she is the one who challenged the whole Ministry plan and she followed him into a trap knowing it was one anyway) but also the timing of it is in line with Harry having a more nuanced understanding of his father. He struggled to hold conflicting information about him into one cohesive person - the boy who was a bully vs the man who joins Order of Phoenix to fight a war he could very well have sat out. The pedestal crashing helped Harry gain nuance (he thinks of his father and mother with pride in HBP - of them walking into an arena with head held high). HBP also sets up his deeper understanding with Snape in DH. There is lovely meta by about this by thedreamersmusing. Read it here. HBP is also the book he feels "sorry" for Voldemort and also feels "reluctant admiration" for him - both of things he is less defensive about.

And this nuance informs his relationship with conflicts - especially the kind he has with Hermione. He is more confrontational with her and does not lie or sneak around her as much as he did in OOTP in the Half Blood Prince. ("Finished? Or do you want to see if it does back flips?" He asks her when she takes the book from him to check if it's jinxed. Or the "I hope you enjoy yourself" he calls out irritably when she declares intention to find out who HBP is. And "do you want to rub it in Hermione? How do you think I feel now?" He tells her when she says she was right about HBP).

The fact that he is willing to be confrontational with her is a big step in his character - a step up from his unregulated outbursts in OOTP, which is a function of him not knowing how to put his anger across in normal ways. He is also more willing to stand up for her in front of Ron too - "You could say sorry" he tells Ron bluntly. This is in contrast to his more quiet standing up for her in POA: "Can't you give her a break?" Harry asked him quietly. In POA, he lets the subject drop after Ron flatly refuses. Here, he presses on more : "What did you have to imitate her for?" "She laughed at moustache!" "So did I, it's the stupidest thing I have ever seen".

His relationship with Ron is an interesting contrast to his relationship with Hermione, which functionally teaches a very important lesson for an abused child who thought all conflicts are bad: That his friendship with her is challenging, and frustrating, filled with conflicts but their love for each other isn't disputed. It's a very important thing for brain development in general - to hold conflicting information in one space. The defense mechanism abused children do to avoid this is called splitting.

So, Ron allows Harry to be the age he is: a teenager and it's foundation for his further development, and Hermione teaches him how to be an adult, and therefore, spurs his growth. (In esoteric terms, if you look at Ron and Hermione as proxy parents - Ron is the Mother archetype, the one who offers unconditional love. Hermione is the Father archetype - one who demands best of him, and guides him).

Additional reading: Harry, Prongs and Prince - Harry's Inner Struggles For Forging An Identity. By u/metametatron4

C O R R E C T . 

harry, at best, was working with an emotional deficit from the moment we met him. for all the mentions of his physical scar, there isn’t much to be argued in the way that we are shown the psychological scarring he has endured from living in an abusive environment. and i know that i talk about the dursleys a lot but it is from this that we are able to understand every single one of his actions that follow in the series. 

harry’s fear / distrust of authority is a direct result of his c-ptsd. though rationalized by saying he ‘doesn’t want to bother’ the nearest Adult, it is born out of the fact that he has never seen an authority figure do the right thing. harry doesn’t have a savior complex, he has a hang-up about the bystander effect.

though he’s general described ( and reacted as ) affable and easy-going, the times where he loses his temper are notable because of the reactions to it. he’s frightening, and his temper flare-ups aren’t predictable ( in fact, the only time it is is during ootp ) 

book 1: faces the man who killed his parents, almost dies in the process of literally burning the host of said man alive. book 2: faces the man who killed his parents, almost dies again. book 3: confronts his worst fears 1000 times over, gets and loses the closest thing to family he’s ever known. book 4: just a mess. book 5: a mess. book six: a! mess! ( interrupted, briefly, by making out ). book 7: like… 

throughout this the only time it’s mentioned that harry speaks about what he’s been through is in a throwaway line about how he talks in his sleep. 

harry’s worldview is entirely framed by his c-ptsd. it informs every relationship, including why he bonds so quickly and totally with ron and especially hermione ( fighting a troll really bonds you, etc ). harry’s calm in the face of certain death, and the most level-headed of any character in dire situations because his fight or flight reactive tissue is so eroded by the point that we meet him by the time he reaches ootp it’s nothing but a memory. prisoner of azkaban shows just as effectively how completely malnourished harry is of being able to react to the world in a typical fashion, and it only builds from that point on.