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but rather, a service top as in “i crave nothing more than to bring you the utmost pleasure. the look of bliss on your face as i fuck you is enough to bring me to the edge because topping is an erotic experience in and of itself for me. making you feel as good as humanly possible is my lifeblood. i long to know what makes you tick, what gets you off, what you fantasize about, so that i can pleasure you like you never imagined possible. knowing that you came again and again and again because of my hands, my tongue, my dick, whatever it takes, gives me a sense of fulfilment that i have sought out elsewhere but have not found.” or something like that.

For those of you that were waiting for the weekend to read, or if you missed it at the top of the week, Rock & Role Nine is now on AO3.

put your hand on my lower back when we walk around to gently guide me, help me choose outfits and buckle my shoes for me, always make sure i bring a jacket when we go out, fix my hair if something’s off, look at a restaurant’s menu ahead of time and make sure there’s something vegetarian i’ll like and order for me, drive me around and always have a hand on my thigh, every once in awhile grab my chin and tilt my head up for kisses, answer questions for me, know what i need before i even do and never let me make any decisions if i don’t wanna, just let me feel floaty all day <3

On this moodboard monday I'm working on Rock & Role 8. Big feelings, huge hurdles, tough choices, and the recording and performing of their new song lay ahead. Sneak peek below of the rough draft of Clarke and Lexa playing the song for everyone for the first time.

Catch up on what happened in part 7, start from the beginning, or read it on AO3 if you want:

I was going down a tumblr rabbit hole and came across and old Binoe page that had A LOT of Krashlyn content from 2019-late 2022. And I came away with a few observations:

1) Ali and Ash were deeply in love. The pics, videos, events, comments to each other, just their sheer history together is overwhelming, and they looked happy, affectionate and just in sync thruout. This idea that Ash was in an unhappy marriage is ridiculous. Bc nothing she ever posted indicated anything close to that.

2) The early Sloane months were adorable, and their captured family moments were so cute and loving. They absolutely doted on that child. She was the center of their world, and they documented so much of her cuteness, and it reminded me of how fun Ash was during this time, and I *briefly* remembered why I liked her back then.

3) I hadn’t realized that makeup artist Alex had been with them for so long- I thought she was new once they got to NY. But no- she was there on their wedding day and before. Also, forgot how close both A’s were to all the Gotham girls when they first got to the team, and how tight Midge was with the whole family.

4) I was reminded of how much soccer connected them, and how it dominated their lives.

I eventually had to stop scrolling bc I got sad seeing how they used to be.

So what in the heck happened?

1) I think Ash was not at all prepared for retirement. She didn’t really line anything up that would be sustainable employment, and not having that identity as an athlete was overwhelming. I’m guessing she had some mild/severe bouts of depression, and despite having an adorable family, she realized it wasn’t fulfilling her. That probably led her to be mean and resentful of Ali, which progressed into outright anger, and bc she’s at her core a narcissist, she blamed Ali for her own sorry situation.

2) there’s been so much talk of, how did Ali not know things were so bad? Well, after all those YEARS together, Ali probably assumed they would work it out. Even after ash moved out, she might have still had visions of repairing her family. Trust me, no mom willing concedes 50% of their time with their kids without a hard core fight. I think Ali was willing to do the work- she just couldn’t give it everything bc she was trying to f’ing retire.

3) those women had a TIGHT group of friends. For years, very formative years. Megan loved Ash. They were effusive abt their friendship. Reliving all their posts back and forth again signified how telling it is that almost NONE of their friend group publicly supported ash. National teammates, club teammates, outside soccer friends (makeup Alex), preschool families- they all gave her the heisman. They didn’t engage in SM, didn’t post pics, really just dumped her like a bad habit. Divorces happen in friend groups- it can be kinda awkward, but they’re grown adults who can make their own choices. And they all very clearly chose a side. And you wouldn’t do that as a friend unless what you saw was behavior so egregious and abhorrent that you couldn’t in good faith support it. And that’s exactly what happened. Ash recently posted something abt friends who chose her over optics, clearly indicating anger at those old friends. Her and Pinoe were at the same event this week, yet no public pics or any indication they interacted. I’m assuming they did, but in the past we’d see evidence of it. She goes on and on abt her new friend group, but it has to hurt a lot that she lost her old tribe. And people that know both her and Sophia- like a Glennon or Foudy, have given the couple no play at all.

4) While I have absolutely ZERO empathy for Ash, I do think she’s gotten herself into a situation that has lots of complications and might not end the way she expects. How do two self involved love bombers stay together once the newness wears off and they are in the mundane realities of everyday life? Ash has 17+ years left of raising kids. And once the kids are doing events and activities, she won’t be able to bail for a week at a time. And eventually she’s going to need to find work. Courts don’t like parents who don’t pull their weight. I think they got caught up in their infatuation, are bonded over their us vs them mentality right now, and once their feelings come back down to earth, it will be a different reality for them. I don’t really care- I don’t wish them any luck. I just think they have an uphill battle.

And my last musing after all this was about how much deep respect and awe I have for Ali. She was served a complete shit burger in the middle of her retirement season. When she should have been riding high, enjoying her last professional soccer games as a player, she was thrown into the worst chaos a person can be in. I will detest Ashlyn forever for putting her in this situation, and not having the maturity to wait it out with Sophia, and let her former wife have her moment. I think back to that Pinoe game where she and Sophia paraded around and my blood completely boils for Ali. I don’t know what happened between them, but the intentional cruelty and vindictiveness Ash showed is so disgusting, it defies logic. I am so thrilled that Ali has moved on, is thriving and has shed this dead weight from her being. I can’t imagine what she’s gone thru, but to see her unbothered and smiling now is just wonderful. I wish nothing but happy things for her!

Okay, I think that’s it! Thanks for reading my dissertation 🤣

You shift, growing needy from the slight teasing, trying to coax me closer. I’ll do this in between kisses, mixing sensations from soft lips to a silky smooth tongue. I press a kiss to your clit before the tip of my tongue lightly runs across it. I feel you squirm slightly. I start with gentle flicks, feeling your pink pearl harden with each one. 

I flatten my tongue against it, dragging it upwards with medium pressure. Now your hips are rolling into me, while I fan my tongue out, moving it up and back down in one motion, never letting you go without the feeling. I change direction. After licks I pull your perfect folds into my mouth to suck before releasing them with a sloppy “pop” you love the way my mouth sounds when I’m playing with your pussy. You love how I moan and slurp. 

 Now your fingers are in my hair, my hands grab at the back of your knees to push your legs towards your chest. your hips are off the bed slightly, your wet hole exposed to me more. Now I go deeper. Now I’m greedy. I tongue fuck you, I sink it into you, you squeal from how deep I can go. I’m a bit rougher, licking upwards with harder pressure, sucking and pulling at your swollen, puffy folds on the way back down. I drag my tongue from your hole all the way back up to your clit before I release it with a flick. 

You’re wiggling, but I have you pinned under my grip with your legs in the air, at the mercy of my tongue worship. My face is coated in your sticky honey, your sweet sugar water. I have you all over my nose and chin. I don’t stop. I won’t until you’re gripping my hair so tightly, until you’re shaking. I keep consistent pressure on your clit. Keeping my tongue flat while run it up and down. My head bobbing slightly. 

 I just want to feel you come undone, all over my tongue.