the luckiest boy under the sun.

it’s been weeks since hyunjin moved in. weeks since he gave up life for changbin. already, his prison has begun to look like a real home. sections are still closed off, but in the spaces they frequent new lighting has been installed (changbin had somehow lived off of sunlight, candlelight and knowing his way around even in the dark), walls have been repainted (a messy, yet fun endeavor that ended in them both being lathered in paint), decor updated by hyunjin and his immaculate eye for design. changbin should’ve known a creature so beautiful could turn his prison into a place one would truly enjoy living in. the mansion still needs work, but changbin no longer feels suffocated within it.

though, that isn’t the best part.

hyunjin has grown strong in only a mere few weeks. the magic laced in his blood repaired the weak, frail body he had while in the hospital. seeing him run, jump and laugh without losing himself to bouts of coughs or nausea has made changbin so proud, so happy. in death, hyunjin has breathed in new life. changbin still treats his precious love like he will break, but even he can see that hyunjin is nearly as strong if not stronger than him now. he doesn’t remember ever feelings as strong as changbin looks in his first months of turning, despite the fledgling’s lithe figure.

long gone are the days where changbin needed to support hyunjin so he could merely move about. that sure hasn’t stopped hyunjin from being physically clingy, however (especially when the younger needs to feed).

not that changbin minds, not at all.

–

despite all the happiness and love that exists in his life in the form of hwang hyunjin, there is a rising fear plucking at his sanity.

changbin sits at his desk in his library. his fountain pen taps against the paper in agitation, and ink splatters from the tip at the force. his free hand props his head up, fingers sliding through his own hair and clenching as anxiety gnaws at his mind.

it’s the only room in the mansion that had any personal touch of changbin’s before hyunjin arrived. he hasn’t yet let hyunjin make changes to the vast room. it’s dark, the only lighting from a lamp on his desk and the light that filters through the doorway. bookshelves line the walls that carry his collection of history, written by people who existed long before he was born, before he became a vampire. that history has been continued by changbin in his own writing. the early stages were dark, hateful in tone and feeling before his lineage was wiped out. thoughts that changbin is afraid of hyunjin seeing. his writing took a more objective stance afterwards, recording history as it happens to the world.

still, there are personal journals tucked away where hyunjin cannot find them. changbin isn’t ready. he already doesn’t allowed hyunjin to linger in the library for too long, gently shooing him away from the shelves, for fear he will find things changbin doesn’t want him to know–but he deserves to know.

changbin snarls viciously at the voice in his head, sweeping his hand across his desk in an angry gesture as he stands. papers scatter, fluttering off his desk and to the ground.

as quick as the anger came, it is gone. replaced with deep worry, fear, as a sigh leaves his mouth. he leans over to begin gathering the pages filled with his panicked thoughts that are strewn about.

it’s only when he finished that he hears hyunjin’s footsteps approaching. he quickly but neatly tucks the pages away, turning to the doorway as hyunjin stands beneath it.

the storm in his mind calms at the sight of him. he smiles, moving across the room to meet hyunjin before the other can come in any further. he isn’t sure if he can handle questions right now. reaching out to him, changbin is eager to speak first, to dictate the conversation.

hyunjin’s lying on the floor of the mansion’s living room, cheek pressed against the cool floor as he stares out the intricate glass windows lining the walls. sunlight filters through aged lace curtains, speckles of sun and shadow dotting hyunjin’s face and hands as he blinks into the light, a surreal serenity washed across him. slow and deliberate, hyunjin breathes in, the heady scent of changbin and home settling deep into his bones.

lavender painted walls and little cups of wildflowers are strewn about the room like a florist’s boutique. this is his home now. he’s no longer bound by sterile sheets that kept his weakened body pressed to the hospital bed. he’s no longer trapped, surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of sterile white tiles, counting each and every one and wondering which one would be his last – which one he would count before he died. he’s no longer suffocated by an environment so sterile that even happiness was not allowed to linger longer than a fleeting smile.

the boy that hyunjin was, and the boy that he is now, are so drastically disparate it’s hard to imagine they’re the same person. right now, hyunjin’s healthier than he has been in years, happier than he’s been perhaps his entire life. he’s still slim, but his figure has abandoned that worrying waifish tinge to it that it used to; taking on a healthy glow (despite the fact that he is very much dead).

and perhaps most importantly, he can still tuck himself close to changbin. push the man so he’s reclining into one of the plush loveseats and straddle his thighs, engulf the older vampire in his scent and his touch as he ducks his head to feed. feeding is never a clean affair. hyunjin’s remaining fangs have yet to grow in and it’s hard for hyunjin to get a clean bite in. but even with all his fangs grown in, it’s unlikely hyunjin would be any cleaner while feeding than he is now. changbin’s blood is too intoxicatingly delicious for restraint, sweeter than any dessert he ever had as a human.

besides, it’s not as if changbin has protested against the mess.

hyunjin enjoys lapping up the remaining blood, lathing his tongue against the soft skin of changbin’s neck until any remnants of the precious nectar has disappeared; not a single drop wasted. afterwards, he kisses changbin. softly cups the man’s cheeks with the palms of his hands and slowly presses against his lips until the taste of copper melts away and is replaced by the taste of changbin’s mouth. and if he kisses the older vampire a little longer after that, well, that’s for only them to know.

but the blood (and new vampirism) has also made hyunjin strong. he can effortlessly leap onto overarching branches from the ground without even so much as a narrowed gaze in concentration. he can rearrange furniture made of heavy oak without batting an eye, the pieces feeling light as a feather when before hyunjin could hardly support his own weight.

however, there is one thing he can’t do.

there’s a room tucked deep into the mansion, a library of sorts, dark and grand with an imposing atmosphere that weighs hyunjin down even from outside its threshold. he knows changbin is hiding something. he can hear the frantic shuffling of papers as he approaches the crypt-like room, the anxiety that spills from changbin as he approaches hyunjin with a strained smile. but hyunjin is either too stupid to be afraid of changbin’s secrets, or too in love to truly pry.

so he stands at the threshold, allows changbin to herd him out of the dark room and in return brings the other man back into the light. a soft smile curls at hyunjin’s lips as he nuzzles into the hand against his cheek in an unspoken greeting; the action akin to automatic, wired to his parasympathetic nervous system as sensations of ease and relax skirt across hyunjin’s skin from a mere touch.

the first thing that leaves his mouth is a soft whine of complaint.

“wanna drink more but the top fangs are thill,” the s lisps into a th and hyunjin splutters out another attempt, momentary frustration marring his otherwise serene features, “still tho- sore. and they keep getting in the way when I,” he takes a patient breath in, steadying himself, “speak”. pointing to his lips, upon closer inspection they’re vaguely puffed, little nicks from his newly grown teeth not quite healed even with superior vampiric healing. (to be fair, hyunjin was cutting his lips every few sentences).

changjin icons.

for many decades changbin has been alone. his past was too complex to explain to hyunjin in the short time he had left to live–and it wasn’t a history changbin wanted to face at that moment. circumstances would deem him unallowed to create a new vampire, but changbin doesn’t care. not when the vampire he’d be creating has hyunjin’s soul. he doesn’t want to think about the consequences that may come ( changbin hasn’t thought too hard about them, in his haste to save the human before it was too late ). all he knows is that hyunjin needed to live, eternally, and changbin would do anything he could to solidify that fate. he has only known hyunjin for such a short amount of time in his much longer lifetime, but he’d do anything, risk anything, for this one boy.

there has never been someone more deserving in the entire world, until now. changbin has seen what greed and hate do to people, societies, entire bloodlines of vampires as well. the greed of humanity does not leave after being turned, only given even more means to act upon it. changbin hates it. he’s always hated how cruel humans and vampires have been, and was more than content to be cast out, forced to live alone under close watch by those who are afraid of him. afraid of the power he holds. they wish to restrain it, and changbin is more than happy to keep his bloodline sealed away for good. he always thought he’d be the last of his bloodline, until hyunjin.

hyunjin is different from those he despises so much. even on his deathbed, he wishes for nothing more than someone to care for him. he doesn’t long for immortality, like changbin has seen in the past. no, he’s always been accepting of his seemingly ensured fate. he always wears that soft smile, that care for a being who has no worries of disease or natural death, when changbin is near. he teaches the vampire that the cruelty he has faced is not the only thing in this world. years of being bitter, and hateful ( just like those he’d despited ), changed by one human who hasn’t even lived for two decades, compared to changbin’s twenty.

he gives changbin hope.

he gives changbin a reason to live.

he gives changbin a desire to share what has been given to him, and that starts with hyunjin.

“that journey will never be far, i promise you.”

the sight of the fledgling cleaning the blood off his thumb causes changbin’s throat to constrict, even though he wasn’t required to breathe. there are so many things hyunjin will have to learn, and changbin has never been more thankful for his bloodline until this moment. he won’t be forced to kill, something changbin believes would be too much for such a soft hearted, kind being.

he’s far too wrapped up in hyunjin’s new existence that he doesn’t dare think about his own wrongdoing in creating a new vampire.

changbin can feel a fresh wave of tears brimming, even the smallest bit of separation overbearing. hyunjin’s quick to take care of that, clinging to his hand like a koala. it’s ghost of a feeling hyunjin leaves in his wake when he lets changbin go is almost painful. the worst of it is over, but he can’t stop thinking hyunjin may be snatched from him at any second.

he can tell hyunjin will adjust well, his lucidity so soon after feeding a telling sign of what will be a healthy, strong vampire.

strong, just like his heart.

changbin’s palm twitches beneath the kiss to it, and his fingers curl under hyunjin’s chin to tilt his head upwards. “i only say it because it’s true,” he whispers, leaning in to place a slow, chaste kiss upon hyunjin’s forehead. he wishes there were more he could do to be able to convey his feelings, but he knows hyunjin understands by now.

he watches with curious fascination as hyunjin moves, wishfully hoping to see the newly turned vampire to be able to stand, to walk—but this is all new to changbin as well. he has never turned anyone, could hardly remember his own turning enough to recall the process and what it was like. he almost frowns when hyunjin can’t do it, and changbin is up in a second, flickering to stand by hyunjin and place a hand on his shoulder.

“do not force yourself, hyunjin,” concern is pouring out of his voice, an irrational fear tugging at him that hyunjin’s body was never going to recover from years of sickness, even with vampirism. he knows it is not true, but the fear is there all the same. “i wish i had clothes for you… this was all very sudden, i did not prepare very well.”

changbin presses a soft kiss to hyunjin’s temple, a hand on the back of his head to cradle him close, before he’s pulling away again. “i will find you clothes, don’t move.” leaving a newly turned vampire alone was not a good idea, but seeing as hyunjin couldn’t even stand, changbin figures his odds are good.

with vampire speed, he’s flickering out of the room, a soft click of hyunjin’s door sounding behind him. he’s been visiting long enough (even before meeting hyunjin) to know where he can find clothes for the younger. he’s stolen blood from the hospital countless times, and feels no remorse when he steals a nurse’s outfit. it’d be enough to get hyunjin back to changbin’s home, where he can get changed into something more comfortable.

hyunjin is right, though. changbin may have clothes big enough, but perhaps not long enough for hyunjin’s limbs. changbin will make sure to steal him some clothes as soon as he can.

he also steals a blood bag for hyunjin before returning to his room, barely gone for more than a two minutes. placing it and the clothes down next to hyunjin on the bed, changbin moves to stand in front of him. “i’m back,” he greets softly with a smile.

“of course i’ll help you. we should get you out of here before your nurse comes in for her morning check in. i think she’d be very shocked to see you getting whisked away by someone she has never seen before.”

changbin’s hands reach behind hyunjin’s neck to rest on the strings holding his hospital gown together, a question falling from his lips. “may i?”

he’s seen much of hyunjin’s body, whether to help him use the bathroom during the night or help him change, but changbin wouldn’t dare strip him bare without asking.

the vampire is gentle with his fledgling as he helps him get dressed, kissing at his wrists, his ankles, his knees, and finally his lips once he’s fully dressed. it’s strange to see hyunjin in—somewhat normal clothes. changbin is far to eager to see hyunjin outside of a hospital setting, in normal, soft clothes rather than a nurse’s sterile scrubs.

“the blood bag is for you to drink as we travel. are you ready to leave this place behind, little one? you will become so strong, you’ll never have to set foot in here again.”

changbin holds a hand out to hyunjin, willing him to take it, to finally choose to leave. he knows the choice hyunjin is going to make, but he wants to see the light in hyunjin’s eyes. that glint that yearns for something more beyond these white plaster walls. there’s a new life for hyunjin, and for changbin.

despite changbin having lived countless lives, he feels like this one will be the one truly worth living.

hyunjin watches the door as he waits for changbin to return, feet dangling uselessly over the bleached white tile. one, two, three, four…. there are thirty-six tiles from the bottom of the door frame to the top. and hyunjin knows from experience that it takes hyunjin the same amount of time to count them individually as it does for his stomach to roll and bile to coat his tongue in bitter slick on a bad day, bent over and exhausted as he heaves until he can’t breathe anymore. at night it takes hyunjin the same amount of time to count them individually as it does for him to realise he’s going to die in this room, unloved and alone.

no one will remember he was here (no one wants to remember he was here).

but this time it’s different. this time, it takes hyunjin the same amount of time to count them individually as it does for changbin to return.

(morning threatens to flood the room as rays of sunrise creep across the floor, filtering through the blinds as changbin brings the hope of the emerging sun with him).

it’s easy for hyunjin to answer changbin’s inquiry, head tilting down to expose the nape of his neck and allow changbin to pull away the gown and replace it with proper clothing. they’ve been close so many times before, but when they’re close like this hyunjin can smell something new, a scent that radiates warmth and comfort that falls off changbin in soothing waves. and oh. realisation hits. oh. it is changbin. and he smells so so good. instinctually, hyunjin starts to lean forward to chase after that calming scent (to chase after changbin) only for changbin to pull back slightly, a question leaving the man’s mouth followed by an offered hand that stops hyunjin’s heart for a second time.

hyunjin wants. hyunjin wants so much. for once, hyunjin knows exactly what he wants. or maybe he’s always known what he wanted, but was just too scared to truly wish for something that could never come true. was too scared to face a reality that told him he was better off dead. hyunjin wants to live. wants to exist beyond the confines of the sterile coffin of the hospital bed he’s been rotting inside for so many years; the lid nailed so tightly shut that the sounds of hyunjin’s nails scratching at the inside are nothing but a cold breeze that passes by the rest of the world on a winter day. god, does hyunjin want.

and even if he’s changed now, hyunjin is still only human.

so given the choice, he does what any human would do.

he reaches out, grasping for the choice to live over the choice of death; hand finding changbin’s and looking up at the man as if he has single-handedly set the earth in motion after a lifetime of stagnation.

“please, take me away. take me home with you”.

(hyunjin summons what strength he can as he pulls himself up and towards changbin, stumbling into the vampire with legs that give up almost as soon as they attempt to hold him up. it’s foolish and he should know better, but in the end it doesn’t matter. hyunjin knows changbin will be there to catch him when he inevitably falls).

and hyunjin, even though he’s no longer breathing, finds his breath taken away.

later, when they’ve chosen to take a short pause in a secluded area away from any wandering humans (because even if hyunjin was weak, he was still thirsty within a matter of minutes after leaving the hospital), hyunjin downs his first gulp from the blood bag; seated on a half raised cluster of rocks. the heady feeling from before has returned and it’s left hyunjin less cognisant of his surroundings, eager to drink what he can of the blood bag.

the first drink is messy, the bitter taste of the bagged blood coating his tongue with the blood itself leaking from the bag onto his fingers and down his emaciated arms. it’s also evidently a mistake as mere seconds later hyunjin’s stomach is rolling, protesting as he gags, half heaving (but not really) any blood that’s still inside his mouth. “tastes so bad”. this is nothing like the sweetness of changbin’s blood that he had drank mere hours ago.

hyunjin looks up at changbin from his seated position, eyes wet, “hyungie please. can’t”. with his free hand that isn’t holding the blood bag hyunjin is reaching out to changbin, trying to tug him close, finding his teeth pressed against changbin’s wrist for the second time that day as he tries to bite into the skin (a useless effort considering his fangs have predictably not yet grown in in the past hour or so).

it’s a sight that will become common during hyunjin’s first month as a vampire, a desperate need to feed that ultimately isn’t enough for him to forgo changbin’s blood in favour of blood from humans.

perhaps it’s because changbin was the first being hyunjin had fed from, leaving the newly creating fledgling unable to easily downgrade to human blood after being so spoilt.

hyunjin’s eyes are blown as he looks up at changbin, not quite lost but not entirely there either. it must be whiplash – to see hyunjin so functional one moment and already teetering on the brink of needy bloodlust the next.

there’s something about hyunjin in this state that gives changbin an overwhelming feeling to protect, to nurture. he’d had these same feelings when hyunjin was human, when the boy was so frail, weak, vulnerable, but there’s something different added to it. changbin is certainly not a mother, but this, he thinks, is what motherly feelings must be like.

but then there’s the overwhelming love he has for this soft, beautiful being. the way he feels for hyunjin goes far beyond motherly. he loves hyunjin with everything he has, and treats him as a gift the universe has given him after all of his years of suffering. the vampire never believed in fate until he met hyunjin, and looked into curious, trusting eyes that shined with every word that came from changbin‘s mouth. there had been countless people on their deathbeds at the hospital, but hyunjin was different. it was as if their souls had called for each other.

he should have expected the baby vampire to jump on the opportunity for any drop of blood, and changbin‘s gasps in mild surprise as their lips meet, the younger’s tongue coming out to lap at the seam of his lips, taking every drop of blood that had stuck to his skin. they share a breath, and changbin‘s gaze meets glazed over eyes in a fleeting moment before hyunjin is already gone, seeking more of what brought him to changbin‘s lips in the first place.

even though the younger is messy, there’s nothing but fondness in changbin’s gaze as he watches him feed. the blood smears across his arm and his fledgling’s cheeks, and changbin’s sure he’s making a mess of it more than he is drinking it. still, he can feel hyunjin drinking, feel the way he’s drawing blood from him quickly. the older watches as hyunjin’s adam’s apple bobs on each swallow of the red liquid, excess dribbling down his chin. it’s not the prettiest thing, but in this moment changbin can’t think of a prettier sight (it’s hyunjin, afterall, an alive hyunjin that will now be able to be with him forever). especially when the younger pulls away to grin at changbin. there’s blood on his teeth, staining his cheeks and some even up higher on his nose. he really is messy.

as hyunjin settles down with gentle licks instead of hungry, desperate sucking on his wrist, changbin’s own exhaustion wiggles its way into his veins. the blood loss is not a normal feeling for him anymore, but hyunjin seems to glow for the first time, the blood giving him life he’s lacked for most of his life, and changbin knows it’s worth it. even for his first feeding, he looks healthier, less sunken. it’s an overwhelming sight, and changbin wishes he had more to give to his fledgling right now.

the blood flow slows to just blood beading on the punctures on his wrist by the time hyunjin finishes, gripping his hand which changbin is quick to squeeze in return. the look they share is enough to floor him, if he were standing, staring down at the now clear, brown eyes that shine up at him. “you’re back,” changbin echoes in relief, the smile he offers in return even bigger than hyunjin’s, he thinks.

“and i you.” changbin goes silent to watch hyunjin (alive, he reminds himself for the umpteenth time in the past few minutes alone) nuzzle at his hand, and then nip at his finger. the site makes his own fangs ache in remembrance of the desire to bite when he was a fledgling. the associated images that follow those memories are not good ones, but he’s determined to replace them with the sight of the younger biting him. his fledgling, that he created. “i’d wait until the end of time for you to return.”

changbin pulls his finger away from hyunjin to grip his chin gently, thumb slowly swiping across his bottom lip to collect the blood leftover there. it hardly does anything to clean him up considering the amount of blood smeared on his face, he knows, but then he’s offering his thumb to hyunjin, placing it at the seam of his lips. “we have to move you out of here soon, little one. and get into some much more comfortable clothes.”

retrospectively, it's a little strange isn't it. hyunjin feels more alive than he has in the duration of his short human life and he's not even truly alive anymore. mind-numbing sickness no longer weighs him down, the only remnants of disease concentrated to the condition of his physical body. still, exhaustion tugs hyunjin down, pulls at his toes and rushes up to his eyes; a soft heady feeling washing through him so he's neither addled with blood lust nor fully cognisant. even satiated with blood, new vampiric instincts still press to the forefront of hyunjin's brain; fangs aching and an underlying need for physical affection leaving him greedy for more of the attention changbin offers.

for all these years hyunjin has waited so desperately to be loved, and changbin has given him that. a childhood spent in and out of hospital waiting rooms was never really a childhood. a childhood spent watching as his parents came to visit him less and less, time with them petering off until a sickly hyunjin wakes up one day knowing that they're never going to visit him ever again.

(in the days prior, he wakes up to soft fighting that escalates in leaps and bounds - arguing about hospital bills and how they never asked for this, and he knows in that instance he was never wanted to start with.

but changbin is different, changbin makes hyunjin feel wanted and that means everything and more to him.

and hyunjin hopes from the bottom of his heart that changbin understands this).

if changbin was willing to wait until the end of time for hyunjin to return, hyunjin was willing to live thousands upon thousands of sickly lives just to see changbin again. willing to begin every day bent over and heaving. willing to love until his lungs gave out if it meant that he would spend just a minute longer with changbin. because up until changbin, all hyunjin has really known is white hospital gowns and white hospital rooms - but now that changbin has given hyunjin a taste of more, he's unable to think of a world that exists without changbin there by his side.

"and until the end of time, i'll always make my way back to you".

maybe that's why he was so willing to allow changbin to turn him. so quick to decide that yes, he wanted changbin to do this to him. wanted changbin to kill him so they could spend the rest of his eternity walking the earth together. and eternity, eternity is long - eternity is forever, and hyunjin wouldn't have it any other way.

reluctantly, hyunjin allows changbin to pull his finger away, an inadvertent whine still escaping at the loss of something between his fangs. he wants to press into changbin's hand as he feels changbin's thumb sweep across his chin, finding and taking the relief as soon as it's offered; lips pliant as they allow the digit to press into his mouth, tongue licking up any remnants of changbin's blood.

perhaps if hyunjin hadn't spent most of his life cooped up in a hospital, needles pressed into his skin, he would have been squeamish about the blood. but to him, it's a natural component of what it means to be terminally ill. and besides, this, this is different. changbin's blood tastes delicious in a different way that sends hyunjin even deeper into that initial heady feeling after tasting even the slightest trace of the red liquid.

the blood is long since gone when hyunjin releases changbin's finger, and he kisses the digit as he departs. the separation doesn't last long and hyunjin's free hand reaches up to grab changbin's wrist, pulling it back down to him and pressing his cheek into the palm of the other vampire's hand. humming, he turns his head to kiss into the soft skin, "i like when you call me that - your little one".

he’ll always be changbin’s just as changbin will always be his.

hyunjin allows the moment carry on just a little longer, allows himself one extra minute of peace before shifting in the bed, peering up at changbin, "do you even have clothes big enough for me?" in reality, it didn't matter if changbin was twelve centimetres smaller than hyunjin. like this, still in the weakened body of a sick boy no longer sick, his frame is barely larger than changbin's own. (this of course doesn’t mean that hyunjin won’t tease the other vampire about his height – no, that would never stop. besides, hyunjin is keenly aware of changbin’s true strength, and the fact that those twelve centimetres meant nothing in the end).

forcing his body up, he finds that his hands are still shaking - with what, he's not quite sure. legs fall off the edge of the bed, more dead weight than functioning limbs, and hyunjin looks wryly up at changbin, "I think you're going to have to help me get dressed… and get up". with time, hyunjin's body would become stronger, but as it is of now, his body is still frail, legs still unused to supporting his own weight; and further weakened by his recent turning.

KAGAYA‏ @KAGAYA_11949

if changbin were any other bloodline, he would have had to leave hyunjin to bring him a human for once he wakes up. changbin remembers his own turning, and how the hunger took over his consciousness and left him as an empty shell. a being starving for blood, aggressively feral in the way he tried to take it from his sire after he woke up. he knows hyunjin will have to deal with that same hunger, but he can’t bear to leave him alone for a second. he can’t bear to even pull away from him, hands still combing through soft hair.

despite knowing how hyunjin would act once he woke up, changbin still wasn’t ready for it. with hardly any warning, the body that was lifeless and limp only moments ago tenses up harshly within changbin’s gentle caress, followed by a scream that tears at the vampire’s heart. his eyes open, and the moment he takes to process what’s happening is enough for hyunjin to easily wrench away from changbin and attach himself to his arm.

blunt, still very human teeth bite into his forearm and while pain still lances up his arm, he’s not surprised when blood isn’t drawn from the bite. it takes him too long to react to being teethed on, changbin having to hold back more tears at the sight of his hyunjin, now returned. he looks at hyunjin like they’re reunited lovers after multiple years, when it was only a few hours he’d been without the younger boy. those few hours felt like years to changbin, though. any stretch of time without hyunjin has him longing to see him again, and that feeling was only intensified by the fact that hyunjin was also dead for those hours.

he carefully reaches up with his free hand, sifting his fingers through the hair at the back of hyunjin’s head while a smile tugs incessantly at his lips. “welcome back, little one,” he coos softly, twirling the locks through his fingers, and scratching gently at his neck even as hyunjin continues to bite him.

“oh, baby… you won’t get anything by yourself,” he murmurs as if he were talking to a child, eyes sympathetic at the sight of hyunjin desperately trying to draw blood. the sounds he makes make changbin’s heart clench, and he knows his baby vampire needs blood. now. “let me help you, hyunjinnie.”

changbin tenderly grips hyunjin’s chin as he attempts to pull his arm away, encouraging him softly. “you have to let go, hyunjin-ah. i’m going to help you, okay?” once he’s finally freed his arm, he laughs quietly at the indents hyunjin’s teeth had left on his skin. shaking his head, he brings his wrist up to his mouth, and bites down on the inside of it to create an opening for hyunjin to drink from. the first few drops cling to his lips, but he ignores it in favor of finally giving his fledgling what he needs.

“here you go, little one,” changbin offers the newly turned his wrist, small rivulets already sliding down the curve of his skin. “go on, drink up.”

soft looks are lost to the newly turned vampire, his mind almost entirely focused around easing the burn that’s coursing through his body. movements weak, he’s still whimpering into changbin’s arm as a hand cards through his hair, the gesture and voice enough to momentarily coerce hyunjin’s attention to the being attached to the arm he’s biting. conflict arises when he attempts to press closer to the physical affection but finds himself still yearning the blood running beneath the pale skin he’s biting into. hyunjin wants – hyunjin doesn’t know what he wants. wants the thirst to dissipate. wants to hear more of that soothing voice, so easily entranced by his sire even in this feral state. wants more of that physical touch.

desperate sobs are quieted as changbin continues to speak, something in the voice resonating deep inside of hyunjin; each word a verbal soother to the boy. even when he’s like this, hyunjin is unable to manifest true aggression against changbin as he coaxes hyunjin from his sire’s arm. whining as he’s pulled from the source of blood, hyunjin still manages to listen to changbin – instinctually reacting to words he doesn’t understand (but a voice he knows is safe).

before changbin even offers his arm hyunjin is aware of the presence of flowing blood, eyes snapping to the first instance of the red liquid. body still weak, hyunjin’s feral state manages to push back against his own body’s weakness, surging forward to first meet changbin’s lips with his own; licking away the traces of blood with a shuddering breath. of course, the few drops aren’t even close to being enough to appease the ache inside of him and he’s fast to switch his attention to changbin’s arm, eager hands holding the limb in place as he presses his mouth to the pre-bitten skin.

hyunjin is a messy eater. blood smears against his lips and somehow manages to present itself across his cheeks as he feeds, his dimple highlighted by a stain of red as he looks up from changbin’s arm and grins – an odd action considering he’s still more feral than cognisant vampire at this point. returning to his treat, enthusiastic drinking becomes small kittenish licks as he appeases the thirst, mind and body settling after his first feed. seemingly exhausted after the whole experience, hyunjin falls back into his hospital bed, hand slipping from changbin’s arm to instead grip his hand, giving it a firm squeeze as he stares up at the other.

@jxns-notes

“i love you, hyunjin-ah.”

changbin ran out of time; he’d wanted hyunjin to have his humanity for atleast a little bit longer. his health only deteriorated faster after their night of stargazing, despite changbin’s attempts to keep him safe. it’s selfish, the way he was happy when hyunjin agreed to be turned (to be with changbin, he’d said), the way he sprung the question on him only when he was on his death bed. changbin has only known hyunjin for a short amount of time within his much longer years of life (or death, technically), but the boy still impacted him greatly enough for changbin to know he didn’t want to let hyunjin die.

hyunjin, a boy who smiles through his pain and suffering. a boy who somehow finds enjoyment in life from his hospital bed. a boy who has let changbin into his life, and has brought happiness to his existence for the first time in a long time. changbin admires him.

what if it doesn’t work?

changbin fears the turning process going wrong, fears killing hyunjin just for him to not return to him. he warns hyunjin, but the boy doesn’t seem afraid of his death in the way changbin is. his smile, that beautiful, dimpled smile, is the only thing that gives him enough confidence to proceed. he wants to see it for the rest of forever.

he tries to make the process as comfortable as possible, sitting with hyunjin in his lap, stroking over his hair, cupping his sunken cheeks between his palms. the vampire catches hyunjin’s gaze, his own eyes sad, but hopeful. he kisses hyunjin’s forehead, then his lips, trying to keep tears from falling before he’s even started.

changbin drags his lips from his jaw down to his neck, peppering soft kisses along pale skin as he gently moves his shirt collar to the side. he can hear the shallow flutter of his heartbeat, can feel the way it quickens in his pulse and beats like a little hummingbird.

“i promise you, i will be here when you wake up, little one.”

and with that, he’s biting hyunjin’s neck, fangs piercing through thin skin. changbin holds hyunjin close through it, his own tears rolling down his cheeks as hyunjin’s blood fills his mouth for the first time. it’s bitter due to the sickness, but it’s hyunjin. it’s overwhelming. changbin squeezes his eyes shut, trying not to make any noise as he drains hyunjin completely of his life force in a way only a vampire can do. he feeds until hyunjin’s skin goes cold, until his already pale skin somehow looks paler. changbin’s fingers curl into hyunjin’s shirt, heart breaking as hyunjin goes lifeless in his arms. as hyunjin dies, because of changbin.

changbin’s still crying when he pulls away, vision blurry with his tears as he lays hyunjin down on the bed, laying at his side and gently pulling hyunjin’s head to his chest. fingers stroke carefully through soft hair, fingers ghosting along the features of his face. he almost looks happy, even in death. changbin sobs, pressing his face into the boy’s hair, cradling him and waiting for him to return.

changbin, the one person who humours him day by day, who takes each of hyunjin’s whims and fulfils them as if they were his dying wish. (and maybe they are). changbin, the only thing in this world that makes hyunjin wish he could live just a little longer. the only thing that makes him cry one tuesday afternoon knowing that he wouldn’t live to see the night-sky’s stars reflected in changbin’s eyes ever again. and for all his life hyunjin has never been greedy, has always taken what he was given and walked with everything in stride. from the first day he was admitted to this hospital to the day the doctors had told him he would never step foot outside for the rest of his deteriorating life – he had simply accepted everything without even a single protest. (in the end, they were wrong). but just this once, god he wishes he could stay with changbin a little bit longer.

some higher power must hear his cries because one day changbin offers to give him forever and more, and hyunjin is incapable of doing anything but accepting.

death has never scared hyunjin, it’s been part of his narrative ever since he was child. occasional visits to the doctor became frequent visits and frequent visits became full admittance before he had even finished high school. he starts the day and ends the day knowing that with every passing hour he’s that much closer to death. so when he’s faced with the reality that the very process that could save his life has an equal chance of simply killing him, hyunjin barely bats an eye. rather, the thought of hyunjin’s death seems to scare changbin – the beautiful vampire who has lived past death; and hyunjin oh so wishes he could ease this fear.

(body weak, in the end hyunjin is unable to offer more than a smile, breath heavy from illness-induced strain as he returns meagre scraps of the affection changbin offers him).

“i’ll be back soon. i promise”.

hyunjin welcomes death – only wishing for a new beginning to his life.

(hyunjin can feel the tears on his neck and he promises himself that he will do everything within his power in this new life to prevent even a single new tear from being shed).

dry scratching pain claws at his insides, pain contorting muscles as they seize, jerking his limbs across the bed and tearing a pathetic scream from his throat. (although, even now the constraints of his own weakened body do not allow him to fully express his pain). in this instance, hyunjin doesn’t even know his own name. the only thing he’s truly aware of is the burning that runs through him, unquenchable desire for something rushing through him as his eyes snap open.