his.

retrospectively, it’s a little strange isn’t it. hyunjin feels more alive than he has in the duration of his short human life and he’s not even truly alive anymore. mind-numbing sickness no longer weighs him down, the only remnants of disease concentrated to the condition of his physical body. still, exhaustion tugs hyunjin down, pulls at his toes and rushes up to his eyes; a soft heady feeling washing through him so he’s neither addled with blood lust nor fully cognisant. even satiated with blood, new vampiric instincts still press to the forefront of hyunjin’s brain; fangs aching and an underlying need for physical affection leaving him greedy for more of the attention changbin offers.

for all these years hyunjin has waited so desperately to be loved, and changbin has given him that. a childhood spent in and out of hospital waiting rooms was never really a childhood. a childhood spent watching as his parents came to visit him less and less, time with them petering off until a sickly hyunjin wakes up one day knowing that they’re never going to visit him ever again.

(in the days prior, he wakes up to soft fighting that escalates in leaps and bounds - arguing about hospital bills and how they never asked for this, and he knows in that instance he was never wanted to start with.

but changbin is different, changbin makes hyunjin feel wanted and that means everything and more to him.

and hyunjin hopes from the bottom of his heart that changbin understands this).

if changbin was willing to wait until the end of time for hyunjin to return, hyunjin was willing to live thousands upon thousands of sickly lives just to see changbin again. willing to begin every day bent over and heaving. willing to love until his lungs gave out if it meant that he would spend just a minute longer with changbin. because up until changbin, all hyunjin has really known is white hospital gowns and white hospital rooms - but now that changbin has given hyunjin a taste of more, he’s unable to think of a world that exists without changbin there by his side.

“and until the end of time, i’ll always make my way back to you”.

maybe that’s why he was so willing to allow changbin to turn him. so quick to decide that yes, he wanted changbin to do this to him. wanted changbin to kill him so they could spend the rest of his eternity walking the earth together. and eternity, eternity is long - eternity is forever, and hyunjin wouldn’t have it any other way.

reluctantly, hyunjin allows changbin to pull his finger away, an inadvertent whine still escaping at the loss of something between his fangs. he wants to press into changbin’s hand as he feels changbin’s thumb sweep across his chin, finding and taking the relief as soon as it’s offered; lips pliant as they allow the digit to press into his mouth, tongue licking up any remnants of changbin’s blood.

perhaps if hyunjin hadn’t spent most of his life cooped up in a hospital, needles pressed into his skin, he would have been squeamish about the blood. but to him, it’s a natural component of what it means to be terminally ill. and besides, this, this is different. changbin’s blood tastes delicious in a different way that sends hyunjin even deeper into that initial heady feeling after tasting even the slightest trace of the red liquid.

the blood is long since gone when hyunjin releases changbin’s finger, and he kisses the digit as he departs. the separation doesn’t last long and hyunjin’s free hand reaches up to grab changbin’s wrist, pulling it back down to him and pressing his cheek into the palm of the other vampire’s hand. humming, he turns his head to kiss into the soft skin, “i like when you call me that - your little one”.

he’ll always be changbin’s just as changbin will always be his.

hyunjin allows the moment carry on just a little longer, allows himself one extra minute of peace before shifting in the bed, peering up at changbin, “do you even have clothes big enough for me?” in reality, it didn’t matter if changbin was twelve centimetres smaller than hyunjin. like this, still in the weakened body of a sick boy no longer sick, his frame is barely larger than changbin’s own. (this of course doesn’t mean that hyunjin won’t tease the other vampire about his height – no, that would never stop. besides, hyunjin is keenly aware of changbin’s true strength, and the fact that those twelve centimetres meant nothing in the end).

forcing his body up, he finds that his hands are still shaking - with what, he’s not quite sure. legs fall off the edge of the bed, more dead weight than functioning limbs, and hyunjin looks wryly up at changbin, “I think you’re going to have to help me get dressed… and get up”. with time, hyunjin’s body would become stronger, but as it is of now, his body is still frail, legs still unused to supporting his own weight; and further weakened by his recent turning.

(despite it all, hyunjin can feel the slow pulse of blood-borne power course through his veins. blood given to him by his sire. changbin’s blood. and it feels right, like it belonged there all along).

for many decades changbin has been alone. his past was too complex to explain to hyunjin in the short time he had left to live--and it wasn't a history changbin wanted to face at that moment. circumstances would deem him unallowed to create a new vampire, but changbin doesn't care. not when the vampire he'd be creating has hyunjin's soul. he doesn't want to think about the consequences that may come ( changbin hasn't thought too hard about them, in his haste to save the human before it was too late ). all he knows is that hyunjin needed to live, eternally, and changbin would do anything he could to solidify that fate. he has only known hyunjin for such a short amount of time in his much longer lifetime, but he'd do anything, risk anything, for this one boy.

there has never been someone more deserving in the entire world, until now. changbin has seen what greed and hate do to people, societies, entire bloodlines of vampires as well. the greed of humanity does not leave after being turned, only given even more means to act upon it. changbin hates it. he's always hated how cruel humans and vampires have been, and was more than content to be cast out, forced to live alone under close watch by those who are afraid of him. afraid of the power he holds. they wish to restrain it, and changbin is more than happy to keep his bloodline sealed away for good. he always thought he'd be the last of his bloodline, until hyunjin.

hyunjin is different from those he despises so much. even on his deathbed, he wishes for nothing more than someone to care for him. he doesn't long for immortality, like changbin has seen in the past. no, he's always been accepting of his seemingly ensured fate. he always wears that soft smile, that care for a being who has no worries of disease or natural death, when changbin is near. he teaches the vampire that the cruelty he has faced is not the only thing in this world. years of being bitter, and hateful ( just like those he'd despited ), changed by one human who hasn't even lived for two decades, compared to changbin's twenty.

he gives changbin hope.

he gives changbin a reason to live.

he gives changbin a desire to share what has been given to him, and that starts with hyunjin.

"that journey will never be far, i promise you."

the sight of the fledgling cleaning the blood off his thumb causes changbin’s throat to constrict, even though he wasn’t required to breathe. there are so many things hyunjin will have to learn, and changbin has never been more thankful for his bloodline until this moment. he won’t be forced to kill, something changbin believes would be too much for such a soft hearted, kind being.

he’s far too wrapped up in hyunjin’s new existence that he doesn’t dare think about his own wrongdoing in creating a new vampire.

changbin can feel a fresh wave of tears brimming, even the smallest bit of separation overbearing. hyunjin’s quick to take care of that, clinging to his hand like a koala. it’s ghost of a feeling hyunjin leaves in his wake when he lets changbin go is almost painful. the worst of it is over, but he can’t stop thinking hyunjin may be snatched from him at any second.

he can tell hyunjin will adjust well, his lucidity so soon after feeding a telling sign of what will be a healthy, strong vampire.

strong, just like his heart.

changbin’s palm twitches beneath the kiss to it, and his fingers curl under hyunjin’s chin to tilt his head upwards. “i only say it because it’s true,” he whispers, leaning in to place a slow, chaste kiss upon hyunjin’s forehead. he wishes there were more he could do to be able to convey his feelings, but he knows hyunjin understands by now.

he watches with curious fascination as hyunjin moves, wishfully hoping to see the newly turned vampire to be able to stand, to walk—but this is all new to changbin as well. he has never turned anyone, could hardly remember his own turning enough to recall the process and what it was like. he almost frowns when hyunjin can’t do it, and changbin is up in a second, flickering to stand by hyunjin and place a hand on his shoulder.

“do not force yourself, hyunjin,” concern is pouring out of his voice, an irrational fear tugging at him that hyunjin’s body was never going to recover from years of sickness, even with vampirism. he knows it is not true, but the fear is there all the same. “i wish i had clothes for you… this was all very sudden, i did not prepare very well.”

changbin presses a soft kiss to hyunjin’s temple, a hand on the back of his head to cradle him close, before he’s pulling away again. “i will find you clothes, don’t move.” leaving a newly turned vampire alone was not a good idea, but seeing as hyunjin couldn’t even stand, changbin figures his odds are good.

with vampire speed, he’s flickering out of the room, a soft click of hyunjin’s door sounding behind him. he’s been visiting long enough (even before meeting hyunjin) to know where he can find clothes for the younger. he’s stolen blood from the hospital countless times, and feels no remorse when he steals a nurse’s outfit. it’d be enough to get hyunjin back to changbin’s home, where he can get changed into something more comfortable.

hyunjin is right, though. changbin may have clothes big enough, but perhaps not long enough for hyunjin’s limbs. changbin will make sure to steal him some clothes as soon as he can.

he also steals a blood bag for hyunjin before returning to his room, barely gone for more than a two minutes. placing it and the clothes down next to hyunjin on the bed, changbin moves to stand in front of him. “i’m back,” he greets softly with a smile.

“of course i’ll help you. we should get you out of here before your nurse comes in for her morning check in. i think she’d be very shocked to see you getting whisked away by someone she has never seen before.”

changbin’s hands reach behind hyunjin’s neck to rest on the strings holding his hospital gown together, a question falling from his lips. “may i?”

he’s seen much of hyunjin’s body, whether to help him use the bathroom during the night or help him change, but changbin wouldn’t dare strip him bare without asking.

the vampire is gentle with his fledgling as he helps him get dressed, kissing at his wrists, his ankles, his knees, and finally his lips once he’s fully dressed. it’s strange to see hyunjin in—somewhat normal clothes. changbin is far to eager to see hyunjin outside of a hospital setting, in normal, soft clothes rather than a nurse’s sterile scrubs.

“the blood bag is for you to drink as we travel. are you ready to leave this place behind, little one? you will become so strong, you’ll never have to set foot in here again.”

changbin holds a hand out to hyunjin, willing him to take it, to finally choose to leave. he knows the choice hyunjin is going to make, but he wants to see the light in hyunjin’s eyes. that glint that yearns for something more beyond these white plaster walls. there’s a new life for hyunjin, and for changbin.

soft looks are lost to the newly turned vampire, his mind almost entirely focused around easing the burn that’s coursing through his body. movements weak, he’s still whimpering into changbin’s arm as a hand cards through his hair, the gesture and voice enough to momentarily coerce hyunjin’s attention to the being attached to the arm he’s biting. conflict arises when he attempts to press closer to the physical affection but finds himself still yearning the blood running beneath the pale skin he’s biting into. hyunjin wants – hyunjin doesn’t know what he wants. wants the thirst to dissipate. wants to hear more of that soothing voice, so easily entranced by his sire even in this feral state. wants more of that physical touch.

desperate sobs are quieted as changbin continues to speak, something in the voice resonating deep inside of hyunjin; each word a verbal soother to the boy. even when he’s like this, hyunjin is unable to manifest true aggression against changbin as he coaxes hyunjin from his sire’s arm. whining as he’s pulled from the source of blood, hyunjin still manages to listen to changbin – instinctually reacting to words he doesn’t understand (but a voice he knows is safe).

before changbin even offers his arm hyunjin is aware of the presence of flowing blood, eyes snapping to the first instance of the red liquid. body still weak, hyunjin’s feral state manages to push back against his own body’s weakness, surging forward to first meet changbin’s lips with his own; licking away the traces of blood with a shuddering breath. of course, the few drops aren’t even close to being enough to appease the ache inside of him and he’s fast to switch his attention to changbin’s arm, eager hands holding the limb in place as he presses his mouth to the pre-bitten skin.

hyunjin is a messy eater. blood smears against his lips and somehow manages to present itself across his cheeks as he feeds, his dimple highlighted by a stain of red as he looks up from changbin’s arm and grins – an odd action considering he’s still more feral than cognisant vampire at this point. returning to his treat, enthusiastic drinking becomes small kittenish licks as he appeases the thirst, mind and body settling after his first feed. seemingly exhausted after the whole experience, hyunjin falls back into his hospital bed, hand slipping from changbin’s arm to instead grip his hand, giving it a firm squeeze as he stares up at the other.

“i’m back”. this time when he offers a smile he’s more himself than a feral vampire (even with the blood on his lips and cheeks). pulling changbin’s hand close, he nuzzles the back of it with his cheek, letting out a pleased hum, “your little one missed you”. and he’s not trying to draw blood when he turns his head and gently bites down on a finger, simply satiating an urge to bite. mumbling around the digit, he adds, “hope i didn’t make you wait too long”.

there’s something about hyunjin in this state that gives changbin an overwhelming feeling to protect, to nurture. he’d had these same feelings when hyunjin was human, when the boy was so frail, weak, vulnerable, but there’s something different added to it. changbin is certainly not a mother, but this, he thinks, is what motherly feelings must be like.

but then there’s the overwhelming love he has for this soft, beautiful being. the way he feels for hyunjin goes far beyond motherly. he loves hyunjin with everything he has, and treats him as a gift the universe has given him after all of his years of suffering. the vampire never believed in fate until he met hyunjin, and looked into curious, trusting eyes that shined with every word that came from changbin‘s mouth. there had been countless people on their deathbeds at the hospital, but hyunjin was different. it was as if their souls had called for each other.

he should have expected the baby vampire to jump on the opportunity for any drop of blood, and changbin‘s gasps in mild surprise as their lips meet, the younger’s tongue coming out to lap at the seam of his lips, taking every drop of blood that had stuck to his skin. they share a breath, and changbin‘s gaze meets glazed over eyes in a fleeting moment before hyunjin is already gone, seeking more of what brought him to changbin‘s lips in the first place.

even though the younger is messy, there’s nothing but fondness in changbin’s gaze as he watches him feed. the blood smears across his arm and his fledgling’s cheeks, and changbin’s sure he’s making a mess of it more than he is drinking it. still, he can feel hyunjin drinking, feel the way he’s drawing blood from him quickly. the older watches as hyunjin’s adam’s apple bobs on each swallow of the red liquid, excess dribbling down his chin. it’s not the prettiest thing, but in this moment changbin can’t think of a prettier sight (it’s hyunjin, afterall, an alive hyunjin that will now be able to be with him forever). especially when the younger pulls away to grin at changbin. there’s blood on his teeth, staining his cheeks and some even up higher on his nose. he really is messy.

as hyunjin settles down with gentle licks instead of hungry, desperate sucking on his wrist, changbin’s own exhaustion wiggles its way into his veins. the blood loss is not a normal feeling for him anymore, but hyunjin seems to glow for the first time, the blood giving him life he’s lacked for most of his life, and changbin knows it’s worth it. even for his first feeding, he looks healthier, less sunken. it’s an overwhelming sight, and changbin wishes he had more to give to his fledgling right now.

the blood flow slows to just blood beading on the punctures on his wrist by the time hyunjin finishes, gripping his hand which changbin is quick to squeeze in return. the look they share is enough to floor him, if he were standing, staring down at the now clear, brown eyes that shine up at him. “you’re back,” changbin echoes in relief, the smile he offers in return even bigger than hyunjin’s, he thinks.

“and i you.” changbin goes silent to watch hyunjin (alive, he reminds himself for the umpteenth time in the past few minutes alone) nuzzle at his hand, and then nip at his finger. the site makes his own fangs ache in remembrance of the desire to bite when he was a fledgling. the associated images that follow those memories are not good ones, but he’s determined to replace them with the sight of the younger biting him. his fledgling, that he created. “i’d wait until the end of time for you to return.”

maybe hyunjin hasn’t truly lived until he meets changbin.

changbin, the one person who humours him day by day, who takes each of hyunjin’s whims and fulfils them as if they were his dying wish. (and maybe they are). changbin, the only thing in this world that makes hyunjin wish he could live just a little longer. the only thing that makes him cry one tuesday afternoon knowing that he wouldn’t live to see the night-sky’s stars reflected in changbin’s eyes ever again. and for all his life hyunjin has never been greedy, has always taken what he was given and walked with everything in stride. from the first day he was admitted to this hospital to the day the doctors had told him he would never step foot outside for the rest of his deteriorating life – he had simply accepted everything without even a single protest. (in the end, they were wrong). but just this once, god he wishes he could stay with changbin a little bit longer.

some higher power must hear his cries because one day changbin offers to give him forever and more, and hyunjin is incapable of doing anything but accepting.

death has never scared hyunjin, it’s been part of his narrative ever since he was child. occasional visits to the doctor became frequent visits and frequent visits became full admittance before he had even finished high school. he starts the day and ends the day knowing that with every passing hour he’s that much closer to death. so when he’s faced with the reality that the very process that could save his life has an equal chance of simply killing him, hyunjin barely bats an eye. rather, the thought of hyunjin’s death seems to scare changbin – the beautiful vampire who has lived past death; and hyunjin oh so wishes he could ease this fear.

(body weak, in the end hyunjin is unable to offer more than a smile, breath heavy from illness-induced strain as he returns meagre scraps of the affection changbin offers him).

“i’ll be back soon. i promise”.

hyunjin welcomes death – only wishing for a new beginning to his life.

(hyunjin can feel the tears on his neck and he promises himself that he will do everything within his power in this new life to prevent even a single new tear from being shed).

dry scratching pain claws at his insides, pain contorting muscles as they seize, jerking his limbs across the bed and tearing a pathetic scream from his throat. (although, even now the constraints of his own weakened body do not allow him to fully express his pain). in this instance, hyunjin doesn’t even know his own name. the only thing he’s truly aware of is the burning that runs through him, unquenchable desire for something rushing through him as his eyes snap open.

body surging forward, he’s more monster than human – mind outright feral as his instincts lead him to the remedy of his thirst. blood. jaw snapping down, his teeth dig into soft flesh, holding the limb in place as he bites down only for nothing to be returned. teeth too dull to penetrate the skin, the newly turned vampire whines, tears wetting his eyes and mouth still latched onto changbin’s arm; words lost as he tries to bite down again, pathetic and desperate in his attempt to ease the blaze that’s coursing through his veins.

if changbin were any other bloodline, he would have had to leave hyunjin to bring him a human for once he wakes up. changbin remembers his own turning, and how the hunger took over his consciousness and left him as an empty shell. a being starving for blood, aggressively feral in the way he tried to take it from his sire after he woke up. he knows hyunjin will have to deal with that same hunger, but he can’t bear to leave him alone for a second. he can’t bear to even pull away from him, hands still combing through soft hair.

despite knowing how hyunjin would act once he woke up, changbin still wasn’t ready for it. with hardly any warning, the body that was lifeless and limp only moments ago tenses up harshly within changbin’s gentle caress, followed by a scream that tears at the vampire’s heart. his eyes open, and the moment he takes to process what’s happening is enough for hyunjin to easily wrench away from changbin and attach himself to his arm.

blunt, still very human teeth bite into his forearm and while pain still lances up his arm, he’s not surprised when blood isn’t drawn from the bite. it takes him too long to react to being teethed on, changbin having to hold back more tears at the sight of his hyunjin, now returned. he looks at hyunjin like they’re reunited lovers after multiple years, when it was only a few hours he’d been without the younger boy. those few hours felt like years to changbin, though. any stretch of time without hyunjin has him longing to see him again, and that feeling was only intensified by the fact that hyunjin was also dead for those hours.

he carefully reaches up with his free hand, sifting his fingers through the hair at the back of hyunjin’s head while a smile tugs incessantly at his lips. “welcome back, little one,” he coos softly, twirling the locks through his fingers, and scratching gently at his neck even as hyunjin continues to bite him.

“oh, baby… you won’t get anything by yourself,” he murmurs as if he were talking to a child, eyes sympathetic at the sight of hyunjin desperately trying to draw blood. the sounds he makes make changbin’s heart clench, and he knows his baby vampire needs blood. now. “let me help you, hyunjinnie.”

changbin tenderly grips hyunjin’s chin as he attempts to pull his arm away, encouraging him softly. “you have to let go, hyunjin-ah. i’m going to help you, okay?” once he’s finally freed his arm, he laughs quietly at the indents hyunjin’s teeth had left on his skin. shaking his head, he brings his wrist up to his mouth, and bites down on the inside of it to create an opening for hyunjin to drink from. the first few drops cling to his lips, but he ignores it in favor of finally giving his fledgling what he needs.

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