Life Chaser

I always wanted to paint... 

It all started when my friend Chelsea set a paintnite date with her mom but unfortunately, they couldn't make it so she gave me her tickets. I decided to go with Alex and I fell in love with it. From then on, every time I have a free time or I’m not doing anything on the weekend; I scheduled paint nite date with friends. 

At first, it was a pressure because I was painting along with the others. Eventually, I didn't mind if theirs were better than mine. All I knew was I was enjoying and it was relaxing somehow.It’s feel so good to do something beautiful from a blank picture to a beautiful portrait. 

I’m not a pro but I’m learning more and more. The goal is to enjoy and make myself feel better in what I do. Painting is somehow my comfort and one of my outlets in this chaos. The best thing about it is there’s no mistake. 

...because every picture tells a story

These are the pictures that I have that reminds of me of him. There’s a lot more than I could ever imagined.  If you look at these pictures, mostly places that we went to and pictures of me that he took. This is not a love letter or anything. It just a lot of thoughts in my head and I want to leave it here. 

Why I didn't deleted those pictures that remind me of him? 

There were moments that I felt God’s presence through him like when every time things get rough. He lend me a hand or an ear. I felt God’s kindness in his friendship. When I shared my concerns with him, he let me know that he'd  been there too. He helped me in so many ways more than I can count  that I couldn't even begin to tell the difference he made in my life. I learned so much from him from movies, career, places, and life lessons. Most of all, he taught me so much about God which helped me to strengthen my faith. I could say that he was a great friend to have. 

But then, things happened for reasons. A part of me dies, when our friendship started to part ways..... Actually, I don't really know if it’s still there. I hope it still does because I don’t want to lose him. 

In life, there are things that beyond our control. No matter how much you want to hold on to someone, if they want to let go, you have to set them free. 

I could sense that he was being distant and it was hurt but I understood. I had to grasp that maybe he’d been struggling, and carrying a burden that I didn’t know about and wanted to deal it on his own or just no reasons.  Either way, he has a life to live and I don't have to be in it. I wish I could be there for him or I pray that someone is going to be there for him.  God must have reasons why things happened this way and I wish I know those reasons are. It made me realizes that maybe that was it. I don't know and who knows. All I know was despite of everything that had happened, I’m still thankful to God for leading me to him. 

Beyond time and distance, a part of him still lingers in my life. I just hope and pray for his happiness wherever he goes. May God bless him and be with him always. 

That’s life. 

The best thing about seeing the nature is you get to know how wonderful, marvelous and powerful God is.

Grand Canyons are made of sedimentary rocks. These rocks gone through destructions and changed through great pressure and heat.

As I reflects on it, God’s creations revealed of who He is. His sovereignty showed how He allowed destructions and turned it into something magnificent.

In life, there’s so much pain. There’s no denying that I struggle with it. Sometimes people leave, hearts get broken, and things fall apart. Even though life gets to tough, I wanna believe that things that happened are part of God’s plan. Like those canyons, God will makes something beautiful and wonderful in my life!

I love you for so many reasons including reasons that are still unknown to me. I love your crazy thoughts, I love how you explained things to me, I love how you managed being mean and funny at the same time, I love how you poured hot teas in my cup, and I love your smile and frown face. I simply love every little things that you do.

I love you and I know that because it hurts. It hurts to miss you and not doing anything about it. It hurts to be just your friend and not hoping to be love back. It just hurts..

I’ll keep loving you anyway until time takes them away.

One last thing, I’m just grateful for our friendship and how God transformed me to be a better person through you. I’m glad that we integrated God in our every day lives and conversations. If this has to end, I want you to know I want nothing but your happiness!