Five years ago, I decided to work towards becoming a nurse. My "ultimate" goal that I made for myself back then was to get into nursing school. I didn't know how competitive it was, or how long it was going to take for me to finally be eligible to apply, or (especially) how difficult it was going to be... I just saw RN's and how they interacted with their patients, and it inspired me each and every time I went in to volunteer at the hospital... And I wanted to be them.

It took me five years. It was not a traditional plan (usually about 2 years), but it's not unheard of that people take a while to finish up their prerequisite classes. For me, I made a lot of stupid mistakes in classes, retook those classes and fixed my mistakes. I got married and set myself back a whole year in order for me to adjust to my new life and get my "ish" together. I worked ridiculously hard, especially in 2018... I didn't allow myself free weekends, I studied whenever I could for as long as I could... I made sure I got the A's that I needed, because I slowly started to realize that it takes darn near perfection to make it into a good program where I live. But finally, in Fall 2018, I was eligible to apply.

The application process... Is the absolute worst. Not because there's anything wrong with it per se, but because of all of the anxiety and anticipation that you feel.

Will I make it? Did I do enough?

Those questions burned in my mind just about every day from when I sent out both of my apps to when I discovered my fate. Taking my TEAS (the entrance exam that most nursing schools require) was an incredibly humbling and nerve-wracking ordeal for me, because I didn't do as well as I wanted to (by 0.03%....still a smidge salty over that lol), and it basically put me in a questionable position at both schools that I applied to... I remember bawling my eyes out in my car after the exam, because I felt like my dream had slipped away for yet another year... And that I would have to wait and reapply all over again. Those were the worst two weeks of waiting in my life.

My first response was from my second choice of nursing schools... And I was accepted. I did not expect it, at all... Totally blindsighted in the best way possible. I'm not exaggerating or being dramatic when I say that I fell to my knees and bawled my eyes out and kept saying, "Oh my gosh... I'm going to nursing school. I actually did it. I'm finally going." Even when it wasn't my first choice, all I knew was that I was going somewhere... And that's all I truly cared about.

About a week later, I found out about my #1 school... The school that, for 5 years, I looked up to every single one of their nursing students that walked around my campus, decked out in their burgundy scrubs and stethoscopes and ugly shoes. I was placed as an alternate, which initially I was pretty sad about. I was even more so saddened, because I found out that it all came down to settling the tied scores (7 of us) by random selection, and that it wasn't about my GPA or my test scores... just bad luck that particular day. However, what the letter continued to say was that I was alternate... #1. So for me, that meant that if one person declined, I would be the first person called up and offered the spot. And sure enough, on April 30, 2019... I was accepted to my #1 nursing school. I get the privilege of being taught the skills and knowledge that will help me to accomplish my next ultimate goal: to become an RN. A great RN, I hope. I also get to inspire those around my school campus who also want to go to nursing school and are working so hard to get those grades. I get to be legit living and breathing proof that if you work hard at something persistently and do not give up, you will make it. Cliché, I know... I truly didn't really think much about that phrase until now.

Also, less importantly but fairly important to me, I finally get to be decked out in those burgundy scrubs. I might get a bit emotional each time I put something burgundy from my school on.... But it's because I'm just so immensely grateful and proud to be representing such a fantastic school. I'm looking forward to August, where the real work will begin. :)

(This was me trying on the scrubs for the very first time, to say the least I was *kinda low key* excited...)

{ 11-1-17 } 60/100 days of productivity