Just my Moon

I am useless. Yes, very useless. I'm ugly, silly, and always I feel better when Jack talk to me. But he don't speak to me. And when I talk to him, he don't answer me. Why am I so useless? Just... No. Today I want to finish with my real name. Judy.

Jack don't speak to me anymore. I am terrible? So, why everyone leaves me alone? I just wanna cry. Just my Moon :'(

Jack don’t speak to me anymore. I tried, and tried to make him speak, a little bit. But he forgot me. Paul is with that stupid girl, Brenda. He only speak with her, but she… She is so fucking idiot, and don’t do anything for him. Damn life! I have nice friends, yes. But sometimes I want that my life returns. I want to live my life the same that always. With Paul and I laughing, my friends and I playing in the sand of the beach, with Jack always speaking and being with me… My illness now is better. Very better than one month ago. Emm… A kiss :) Just my Moon :/

What can I say? I'm tired. Tired of drama. Tired of miss Jack. Tired of wanting to be friend of Paul again. Tired of fighting vs my illness. Tired of my parents don't understand me. Tired of want to learn something impossible. Tired of watch the Moon for hours, waiting that something happen with me. Tired of fake smiles. Tired of real tears. Tired of my life. Just my Moon :(

Sorry to be absent these days :( If i have to speak sincerally, I was chatting with Jack :3 Today I woke up inspirated. I wanted to paint, so I painted the sea with an old paining kit. I wanted to make a cake, so I nearly burned my kitchen xD I painted, cooked, I shot a hairstyle tutorial and many more things. But when I’m in school, the inspiration rans out my head. This is not very normal :/ Just my Moon xD

Now I know why Paul was shy like that with me. He was in love with another girl, and he was shy because he tried to kiss me, remember? He is in love with Brenda. I hate her. And he know it. He gave to her some flowers. But she only said "thanks" and went out. Now you know why I hate her? She is so STUPID. OMG! JACK! Today he sends to me a video for Valentines day. Is he, with the guitar, singing a song. I nearly DIED. The song is "Story of my life" of 1D. At the end, he says: Happy Valentines day! Wish you were here! By! Just my Moon <3

Tomorrow is Snt. Valentine's day. I'm a bit nervous. Because I like Jack, but I don't thing that he loves me. Or maybe yes... No. Surely no. In school? I discover I HATE SCIENCE. I HATE PHISIC. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW HOW TO CALCULATE THE SPEED OF THE LIGHT! Paul with me, now is better. But he is like, i don't know, stange. He speaks to me like he is forced to do that. And no! If he don't want, why he speaks to me! Just my Moon O_o

I don’t want to do anything. Here, in my bed, lied. It’s so good! xD Jack send to me one old selfie that we made last Christmas. OMG! I love it ❤️ With he selfie, he writes: “Look! I found this ❤️" I am very happy! I thing he likes me :) Just my Moon :)

Just my moon :)

Paul is the most stupid boy in the world! I hate him! Ok, I don't hate him, but... He's a damn idiot! He stops to speak to me! Today I tried to speak with him in the phone, but he only said "yes" and "by". IN THIS ORDER. Why, Paul? Why? Are you silly? He is the opposite of Jack. EVERY day he speaks to me, so cute <3 The medicines are ok, but somedays I want to die. Well, I don't want to die. But I want that all this ends. This stupid illness, this stupid love, this stupid school. Just my Moon >:(

I am in love. But my blood now is like shit. It's worse. I want to die.

Paul is very strange. I don’t understand him. He was very happy with me and all this stuff, but today he was shy. Very shy. I greeted him this morning with a simple “hi”, but he was like… I don’t know how to explain. He was red. Jack and I everyday we speak more. Yesterday I don’t post anything because I was chatting with him :$ I think I love Jack more than Paul. But Jack is very, very, very lonely. And Paul is in my school. Very near of me. Shiiiiiiit! What can I do? I only cry! I don’t know what to do! Ally and I went shopping. I only bought a little and cute skirt for this spring. But ally bought 3 sweatshirts and 7 different trousers. Or she is rich, or she is crazy. Just my moon :)

Just my Moon :|

Yesterday was my bff's birthday. They're parents gave her a car. A CAR. And I only leave a CD. -.-' Yesterday it not was a simple day. It was THE DAY. Paul was in the party too. And Ally (my bff) know that I "love" him. The "" are because I love Jack too... So... Ally put a slow version of a famous song. I was speaking with Paul at that moment. And the song started. Paul wanted to dance with me. I dance with him. It was magic. But not the same magic that I had felt when Jack specks to me in Facebook. I don'k know, it's different. Paul tried to kiss me. I, at the beginning was happy and a thousand butterflies were in my heart. But I remember on Jack. I didn't leave he to kiss me. I just turn my head and ran out. Yesterday I didn't post this because I was crying all the night. Because I love Jack... And what about Paul? Just my Moon :(

P.S. Jack misses me! I am the happiest girl in the world! :')

Just my Moon :)