Just My Cup of T

Angel: Hey you wanna play pirates?

Me: huh?

Angel: proceeds to jump behind me, puts her dick on my shoulder and screams “caw caw!”

So my crazy ass wife just came strolling across our room, ass naked, swinging her dick at me and doing some fucked up interpretational dance . All the while yelling “Wakanda, wakanda, wakanda!”.

One of the worst parts of being with an entertainer...the fans. I get it. My wife is hot as fuck. The moment I saw her I was literally blown away by her beauty. Having a Trans wife who is beautiful and charismatic is a double edged sword. You have those who genuinely admire her beauty and say nice things. Those people I like and appreciate their comments.

The dark side is two fold. You have those who give no fucks that she is married and pursue her anyway. They come along with their disrespectful as fuck comments and think adding “lol” makes it cute. Hey to those people, fuck you.

Then you have the chasers. These are the worst. She is pursued like a fetish and it makes my blood boil. They treat her like an object and not a human. It’s disgusting.

All too often however, it’s easy for the person who’s being admired to get caught up in the admiration and casually cross the line of respect as well. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t care if my wife flirts or feeds into some pervs fantasy. What makes me angry is when those people get the kind of attention I’m not because unlike them, I’m here everyday doing day to day life, supporting her dreams however I can. Life becomes routine and it’s also easy to get caught up in that. I’m human and need to be flirted with, touched and feel desired. It’s even more easy to overlook these things when you have young kids.

So I haven’t updated this shit in a long time because…life. Anywho, this will be kinda of short and to the point.

I’m currently 8 months pregnant and my wife and I did it the old fashioned way (bow chicka bow bow). Through some unforeseen miracle, one of her little swimmers survived years of HRT and made its way to my eggs. We are so blessed as she thought a biological child was a dream long lost.

We also got married. We were already engaged but because of the political environment and the stupid fucking laws regarding same sex parents and children, we eloped. We didn’t want to have to have my wife need to adopt her own biological kid because you must be married as a same sex couple in order for the other parent to go on the birth certificate! It’s antiquated bullshit because any man can just walk into a hospital, claim the kid as his and keep on going. No questions asked.

I’ve been an absolute shit about keeping this blog up to date. But a lot has happened and I promise to catch up. However, because it’s therapeutic for me, I have to write about a recent situation with Angel that would probably tear a couple less committed apart.

It’s no secret that Angel and I enjoy different partners in the bedroom. And that we like to share. That has always been on the table for us from the moment we decided to be in a relationship. We enjoy variety in our sex lives. It has nothing to do with anything lacking between us; we just enjoy the adventure.

Recently, Angel was overseas for an extended amount of time for work. It was difficult for me, but not impossible. I try to support her as best I can even if I do pout like a bratty 4 year old in the process. I NEVER stop her from pursuing her career. I signed up for this for the long haul.

So after she came home, I wanted to be greedy with her and specifically stated I didn’t want anyone sharing us for awhile. After all, we’d been separated for months. Not too much to ask right? It wasn’t about not wanting to share any longer, just not right now. So in my mind, the dating sites and such would sit unattended while her and I just enjoyed one another for a bit. That was not the case. Angel continued to pursue new interests through various methods unbeknownst to me.

Her intention was to just fish for options while on hiatus, or so she says, and I have to try to believe that. My issue is that I didn’t know anything about it and it directly against my expressed wishes. In her mind however, looking wasn’t off the table, just actions. In my mind, ALL area concerning play were off the table for the immediate future. If we weren’t playing, why even look? My biggest issue? It was done without my consent or knowledge. Sounds scarily close to infidelity right? Yeah, I thought so too.

I’ve been burned horribly by past experiences in open relationships and this was a huge slap of disrespect to the face for me. She knows my past issues; we’ve discussed them at length. So this episode has put me right back where I was in terms of being able to trust my partner to do the right thing when it comes to being open, honest and fully disclosing all the gritty details of her pursuits.

Being who we are and the dynamics of what we do, I’m not willing to give up the most amazing person I’ve ever met in my life because there was a breakdown in communication somewhere. Or that’s how I’m trying to view it. Maybe it was pure selfishness, I don’t really know. Anytime you’re in an open relationship you are bound to hit some hurdles that have to be delicately navigated. I can forgive a transgression of this magnitude…once. It doesn’t make me weak or stupid; it makes me human. We all make terrible calls in judgment sometimes and I know that. It’s the lesson we take from a specific situation that will always dictate my response to someone. I’m not angry…more just disappointed because I thought I wouldn’t have to deal with this again.