Another failed break up to add to the list.
Another week of mourning what could have been, followed by two weeks of giving up then starting up again because I WILL find someone good for me and it will all be fine. (I wonder if the constant boom and bust is healthy? Although I have a feeling that the more fails, the faster I will get over it/them). I’m also kinda glad bc I learned that whether I do it or not I can’t change whether a guy will like me or not so I shouldn’t feel bad
My main focus should be on the fact that I feel like I’m completely rubbish at my job, not a guy who will be a distant memory this time next month 💀
Just writing this to remind myself that I’ll be fine bc I feel kinda anxious and a bit rubbish at the moment
17/08/24
I just deleted my Hinge and Bumble accounts. I feel free and now I can really reflect on my experience.
-I wonder how many hours I have wasted from looking at the apps, swiping endlessly, engaging in dead end conversations and feeling frustrated / unattractive thanks to my experience on the apps
-Bumble almost felt broken to me because barely anything came out of it. I’ve wasted more time swiping away than actually meeting people from there and everyone that I have met from there was not the type of partner that I am looking for.
-I have been ghosted, and have ghosted others. Nobody is really held accountable. Everyone that you meet on there is ‘disposable’. I haven’t felt physically attracted to most of the guys that I have met on there. I’ve tried dating someone who I didn’t feel physically attracted to and just felt like he was a user in the end. I tried seeing how things would go with someone who I wasn’t completely attracted to and he ended up just being a love bomber who went cold after a few weeks. I’ve met someone who said that he wanted a second date then he ghosted me after. I’ve met someone who liked me and thought I was attractive but wrote me off as someone that he could see a long term relationship with. I have also met nice people but unfortunately felt no physical attraction towards them.
Honestly the whole experience has been a rollercoaster and I don’t think it’s worth it. It’s true that most people on dating apps aren’t going to meet a long term partner because they need people on there to make money.
Dating apps don’t feel fun anymore. They feel frustrating, draining, and disappointing. Even super pretty women seem to be struggling with dating apps so what does that say.
Potentially find a new hobby and maybe get into that mindset of not caring about whether I’m single forever or not!
It’s either I meet someone in person or I live a nice life as a single person because I’ve literally been using dating apps since I was around 19 and nothing long term has ever come out of them. I never even met any potential partners at uni or ever so I think I was prob destined to be alone forever which makes me sad.
It is time to focus on other things, starting with the 75 hard (soft) challenge and lean down a bit.
