tswizzle&chocolate

Most nights I lay awake until 2 am, waiting for you to text me, call me, acknowledge me. But if I have to wait until 2 am every night for your attention, is it worth it?

I have woken up in the middle of the night, in the middle of a dream, just to check on my phone to see if I miss any messages or calls from you.

Who isn’t crazy sometimes? Who hasn’t driven around a block hoping a certain person will come out; who hasn’t haunted a certain coffee shop, or stared obsessively at an old picture; who hasn’t toiled over every word in a letter, taken four hours to write a two-sentence email, watched the phone praying it will ring; who doesn’t lay awake at night sick with the image of her sleeping with someone else?

One of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder.

i have lived a thousand years i have felt a world of pain but never like this

Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.

Suddenly you become so naive. You think that he’s going to be there forever. You start planning a future together. And then one day, when reality hits you in the face, and he’s no longer there when you need him to be more than ever, and you wonder; How could you be so blind? How could a few months feel like an eternity, yet not quite enough time? You want to hate him because of what he did to you. But you can’t hate him. You’ll never be able to truly feel hate for him in your heart. And even though you tell your friends you never really liked the color of his eyes, and that he wasn’t even that special, you’d still take him back in a heartbeat. And that’s the tragedy of loving too much. That you break yourself in the process. That you’ll always love them more than you love yourself.

You are under no obligation to be the same person you were a year, month, or even 15 minutes ago. You have the right to grow. No apologies.

Who you are today could be light years different than who you were a year ago, if people don’t recognize that, they’re probably stuck in the same ways they’ve always been in. And that my dear is when you run, if people don’t understand change and hurt and pain and growth, they don’t deserve the chance to understand you.

Good-byes are important. They’re how we know we’re doing the right thing. If they come easy then by all means leave and never look back. But if you open your mouth and feel the words get stuck like glue in your throat, you’re making an awful mistake.

Gone. The saddest word in the language. In any language.