🌙

If 2-3 years and we're still in the brink of pandemic, I'd rather be dead by then.

I've never been so so sure on planning of ending this.

"it's not easy to be me"

A year of deciding what to take in college got me nothing at all lmao. I thought I was gonna take my first choice of course but end up still indecisive due to the current situation. I'll be enrolling for freshman next week to an uni and I still haven't decided what major to take. this is really keeping me up at night cause I don't wanna be stuck in classes that I don't like.

there's nothing more painful than accidentally deleting your pinterest account that has been your comfort place and the source of your daydreams.

I’m at the lowest point of my life rn, and idk wtf am i doing lol, let’s just live life like there’s no tomorrow lol ya’ll 

being in my late teens and still not having my first kiss like everyone else already does in their early teens is so ugh

i crave so much deep connections with other people, new friendships, new interactions and relationships and yet the idea of opening my inner self up to someone still scares the shit out of me.

I wasted so much of my teenage life having strict parents so i ended up having a shitty social life, barely have any friends or even had "fun memories" to treasure and look back to when i turned 30 and so on and now Corona is about to fxck up my early 20s which is supposed to be the right age where i'll get wild, carefree and most of all make up for the teenage life I missed out, I might had betrayed a kingdom in my past life to deserve this kind of fxckery.

What keeps me up at life? I have no frikin idea. I'm actually surprised i'm still here.

I just want a cat companion rn.

I don't want death to strike me like a lightning bolt, instead i want death to be gentle on me, to hug and comfort me, let me see its color and beauty, it's scent, i wanna savor it in my last seconds until i let go and cross the world of nothingness. That is my definition of being finally at peace.