Can't Outrun the Past (Part 8)
A/N: Okay, I am sorry this has taken so long. My hand and my brain weren't cooperating, and this isn't the most exciting chapter, and it's a bit shorter, but ish is about to hit the fan. Just give it a minute. thanks for reading đĽ˛
Pairing: ex!Bucky x reader
Warnings: mentions of drug use, alcohol abuse, etc. Sexual assault (if this is something you can't read, skip the italics, please. Take care of you first)
Word Count: 1582
After a near food fight at dinner time (both those super soldiers had it coming), and a night of nightmares, you wake up to the sun glaring in the window and Bruce clicking at his computer near your bed. You stretch, then sit up.
âI didnât mean to wake you,â Bruce says.
âYou didnât. The sun did,â you say with a chuckle, gesturing toward the light glaring in.
âI can close the blinds?â
âNah, Iâm awake now.â He nods, then goes back to clacking on his computer. âHowâs everything look, doc?â
âVery stable, Y/N. You are incredibly lucky.â He looks at you with seriousness in his eyes. âIf we didnât have Narcan, I donât think weâd be having this conversation, Y/N. I donât want to underemphasize how close you were to dying.â You nod, looking down at your hands. âYour meetings with Dr. Raynor will continue to be important as we move forward with your recovery.â You nod again, and Bruce goes back to typing on his keyboard. After a few minutes, he squats down next to your bed. âAre you ready?â
âYeah,â you say, though you werenât entirely convinced. Somewhere, still, in the back of your mind, you knew youâd run as soon as the Vivitrol wore off. But you didnât say anything. Bruce nods, and starts unhooking the machine, shutting off the heart monitor and removing the pads from your chest.
It only takes a few minutes before youâre completely unhooked, your IV is out and you are sitting on the edge of your bed.
âF.R.I.D.A.Y.? Please let Captain Rogers know that Y/N is ready to leave the med bay.â
âYes, Dr. Banner.â He walks around the bed and helps you stand up, steadying you as your legs are weak and you almost fall. It feels good to be upright, though. You smile at him as Steve and Bucky walk into the med bay. Their eyes are on you, leaning into Bruceâs arm for support.
âYou sure youâre strong enough?â Steve asks as he gets to your side. You just nod.
âOh, I brought these,â Bucky says, moving to your side. He has a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt, different from the last time. He hands them to you with a smile. âI figured you might like to get out of that very attractive gown.â You chuckle and stick your tongue out at him.
You change quickly, all the men turning around to give you privacy, much easier without all the cords and wires. Then, at last, with Bucky on one side and Steve on the other, you walk out of the med bay, hopefully for the last time.
They help you walk toward the elevator, then to the main living quarters. You walk with them to the couch in the living room before sitting down, shaky. Your walk exhausted you and you lean against the back and close your eyes.
âYou okay?â Bucky says, squatting down in front of you.
âYeah. Just a little tired,â you say with a smile, not opening your eyes.
âOkay. You rest. Weâll be here when you wake up.â He stands and leans across you to place a kiss on your forehead. Before he stands back up, he whispers, âI love seeing you in my clothes.â Butterflies flutter in your stomach and you try your best to not respond. He stands up and walks away. You sigh, trying to sink further into the couch.
Sometime later, youâre not sure how long or if you even slept, you wake up to the couch next to you shifting. You open your eyes to see Sam Wilson on the opposite end of the couch.
âGood to see you up and at âem,â he says with a smile. You smile back. âI know we havenât really talked much. Iâve been busy with contracts.â
âI know. Itâs fine. I havenât been much fun anyways.â You try to laugh, but it sounds more forced than you like. Sam doesnât laugh though. He leans back against the back of the couch.
âI knew Freaky Magoo would be there for you, anyways.â You snort at his comment.
âFreaky Magoo?â you ask, humor lacing into your voice.
âHe does have a staring problem. You canât deny it.â
âYouâve got a point, though.â
âHey!â You laugh at the deep voice behind you. You shift to peek over the couch to see Bucky leaning against the island in the kitchen. He chuckles, then goes back to filling his water bottle. You glance back over at Sam.
âWhat are we doing tonight, boys?â You melt into the back of the couch and close your eyes.
âLooks like youâre going to bed, Y/N,â Sam says with a chuckle.
âNah, Iâm a real party animal.â As the words leave your mouth, you wish you could bring them back, but you shake your head. âThat wasnât funny.â
âIt was a little funny, in a twisted kind of way,â Sam says, and you chuckle.
âIâm nothing if not a little twisted,â you all but whisper.
âArenât we all?â Bucky says, flopping onto the couch between you and Sam, instantly lightening the mood. You would thank him if he didnât keep talking. âI say we watch a movie. We used to have movie nights all the time.â The boys talked about what movie to watch, and, at some point in the conversation, Steve came in, flopping on the other couch in the main room. You barely noticed him coming in, your eyes still closed.
âOkay,â you say, your eyes still closed. âItâs been a long time since I watched a movie.â As it turns out, it would be even longer, because, as the opening scene was playing on the huge TV, you fell asleep, your head slipping onto Buckyâs shoulder.
âHey,â you vaguely hear, someone shaking your shoulder slightly. You groan, not wanting to move. âY/N. Letâs get you in bed.â Itâs Bucky, you realize but you push his hands away, making him chuckle. âCome on Sleeping Beauty.â He stands up, and you all but flop onto the couch as he moves. âYou leave me no choice,â Bucky says, laughter in his voice. You feel his large hands under your torso and legs, and he lifts you up easily. You wrap your arms around his neck instinctively, and nuzzle into the crook of his shoulder. He hums softly, and his swaying footsteps lull you back to sleep.
Lights. Bright lights blind you. Bodies sway and bump into you and you canât make yourself care. Sweat drips from your forehead, hair, down your back. You grind up against someone behind you.
âLetâs get out of here, baby,â a deep voice whispers in your ear.
âWhat do I get out of it?â you yell above the pulsing bass filling the room. A chuckle rumbles through the manâs chest, vibrating against your back still smashed up against his front.
âWhat about this?â he says, holding a white pill in front of your face. You spin to face him. You vaguely think you should ask what it is, but you donât care, honestly. You stick your tongue out and the man places the white pill on your tongue. You swallow it easily. He grabs your hand and pulls you along with him, out the door, and onto the back of his motorcycle. You hold onto his torso as he weaves in and out of traffic, toward the skeevy apartment complex you both call home, his 3rd floor apartment only 2 floors below your own. It takes a few minutes, but soon, calm and quiet washes over you. The world around you melts away.
After he pulls up to the apartment complex and parks his bike, you all but fall off the side of it, your already short dress hiking up, and you giggle.
âCome on, baby,â the man says, wrapping his arm around you. âWant to have some fun?â He doesnât even wait for your answer, all but dragging you up the stairs toward his apartment. By the time you get there, your legs are feeling like jello and you canât make yourself care about anything.
âHere,â he says, running his finger up your thigh. You bristle at the touch, but he takes that to mean anticipation. You try to push him away, but he doesnât budge. He places a small patch on the inside of your thigh, almost to your panties.
Almost immediately, your eyes roll back in your head and the only way to describe what you feel is euphoria. Everything in the room slips away into blackness and you welcome it.
Some time later, you arenât even sure how long, you wake up, your dress pushed up and your underwear no where to be found. The man, Marco, your dealer, lays on the ground beside you, his own pants missing. You try to move, but pain shoots through your abdomen, and you realize all at once what happened. You realize you had been raped and you werenât even conscious enough to remember it.
âY/N!â Bucky screams, shaking you awake. Your screams still ring through the room though you donât realize that you are still screaming. Tears fall down your cheeks and every inch of your body is shaking. âHey, hey, hey,â he says, pulling you into his arms, and you try to push him away, but he doesnât move. âI got you. Youâre safe now.â You scream at him and his grip falters."Let me go, please! Please!" He does as you ask and you all but fall off the bed and run into the bathroom, closing the door behind you."Y/N!" Bucky yells after you, but you press your back against the door and slide down it, sobs wracking through your body. "Y/N, open the door please?" Bucky's voice is sad at first, but he repeats himself over and over, each time sounding more and more frustrated. "Damn it, Y/N. Open the door." He slams his hand on the door, and you scream in response. After a few minutes, you hear him sigh through the door. "Please, Y/N," he all but pleads. You curl into your knees, your back still against the door. You feel the door shift and, for a moment, you think Bucky is coming through anyways. He could, easily, break the door, but it doesn't move again, and you realize he is probably leaning against the other side. You hear sobs through the door, and yours start again.
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