A Moons Spotlight

Tw: suicide

 “Hello!”

My coworker is way too excited for what kind of morning I’ve been having…

“Need something?”

I’m not trying to be mean but, they have too much energy.. their face crumples like a sad puppy. Maybe my plan will be right tonight. It’s not like anyone will care, right? People will care? No..

Was she still here? Standing there looking at me, like I’m some kind of animal in a cage to her personal zoo? Her eyes are teary like rain clouds.

“You’re a jerk you know..”

Her words went sharp like a knife cutting into my feelings deeper than she probably intended..

“Beleive me.. I know”

My eyes are heavy like weights on my lids, feeling like maybe I could just close them and leave this awful world behind. No one would notice, and if they did they wouldn’t care.

She leaving.. finally. I don’t think I want to be here anymore. Not like I’ll be here tmr to get fired..

The moon is mediocre tonight.. maybe not a great night to go out but it’s time, my clock hands have hit 0. The wind is going through my fur just so.

The dazzling colours of the rising Sun glittering in my eyes. Wind pushing me back as if it were trying to save me even knowing it was to late. Pinks and yellow and the deepest of reds fly by faster than I can think yet all is over. Dark.

But it’s not, something is wrong.. by some twisted choice of the gods I stand again but I’m smaller like something that could fit in your pocket. I’m still covered in fur but it lays flat and soft, my body is that of some sort of stuffed animal. This isn’t right… I find myself needing ppl more like an ache in my mind, a glitch to what I always knew. Yet each time they leave, I can’t just be let free, I want more.. I’m only around as long as they need me, then I’m just tossed to the side the minute they find their better friends. Like a used plush they can just throw away after… I don’t even remember my name. I’m tired.

A light sound. Laughter. Like children playing on a park?

A group of creature stand laughing. One looks quite odd just sitting there on the ground like a wounded animal.. a pitiful thing. Maybe help would be in order, can’t watch this no longer..

Vicious sure but fun.. their skin rips so easily like paper.

Looking at her, she’s like a shadow? Blending in with the long cast lines from the trees all around. Her eyes like two twin moons looking up. At me…

“Nessie..”

The blissful forest was fading faster, she’d scrunch her eyes hard to try and hold on to the last bits of the lovely almost normal scene.

“Nessie.”

The growl comes out of her throat, she hadn’t even intended to do it but there it was telling of their very annoying friend. ‘Humf’ she’d huff the air bouncing back, wait that wasn’t hers the breath ruffling their fur was Current’s.

‘Your breath stinks’ this was a lie but she was too annoyed to care about Current’s man ego. Her eyes open and narrow on his soft greys green snout, the stickers reflecting the sun.

“That’s incredibly rude” his voice was teasing, though there was a sad look in his eyes. ‘I..’ they never finished apologizing, his eyes had lost the sad glen. She watched as it was replaced with a teasing glint. “We best go, before your grandmother has our tails for being late!” His voice is airy, like a pup. He was always like this, even though it was annoying sometimes it was all and entirely him and they needed him.

His paws are warm as they slide into her’s, their paws pads lining up like they always had. This was her friend, their best friend. She would give their life for this goofy child of a wolf, the sticker he would cry about if he lost any, the very bright colours he wears even if he sticks out in a forest, the way he always know how to make everything brighter even if the world itself is falling apart.

‘Where are we going? This is not the way to grandmother’s den.’ It was a good question and yet the answer seemed insignificant. “You’ll see! Though we should hurry. I wasn’t lying there are ppl looking for you” the both of their legs fall in sink as they breakout into a run, paws still intertwined.

This place, there were flowers. Real true flowers, the colours dull but there and beautiful. ‘How did you find these?’ They knew they probably looked like a pup see a puddle for the first time, but they didn’t care. “I planted them! You always talk about your dreams of the grass and flowers, the way you smile every time you can think about it.” He plopped down next to her, their tail twining together. The flowers smells like Current, maybe they could have guess if she hadn’t asked so soon, or did Current smell like the flowers? It was a sweet smell like what honey smelled like when they found that small store of it. Her and Current shared a spoonful of it together, grandmother never gave any to Current so Nessie took it on herself.

Thud* thud*

Current was wagging his tail, the sound was repetitive and comforting. His head was rested on their shoulder.

Something was wrong, the edges of her sight was blurry and red everything in her telling her to run. The forest was rippling on the sides of their vision, colours fading in and out. ‘What..?’

In a blink every peace was back to normal, the trees with their lack of leafs blowing in the wind. The flowers dancing in the breeze, its colours dazzling even though dull.

“You ok?” Current was looking up, his eyes wide and worried, his 3 ears tilted to listen to every jagged breath. ‘Fine.. just taking it all in’ this was a lie but there was no reason to worry him, they’re sure it’s fine.

The gross squawking of birds in the far distance start up, their vocal cords fried sounding like screaming children. Scrabbling and calls for mates and friends and family go unanswered. The wind smelling of metal, garbage, and blood making everything sit back in place.

Everything will be fine.

Yippieeee!! I love Nessie sm! I how y’all are ready for more of her!! The trauma, the backstory, and what is to come!! For now it is a time of calm :3

New npc finally gets his silly little design!

This is Thomas! He’s just a sweet old man <3

I want to help you

I want everything to work out

I want you to be ok

I want I want to help

I want you to want me around

Do you even need me? Would everything be better if I had never come?

This place built to rip a drag us apart. You just let it.. you watched the beast of my own mind rips gashes down its own host trying to leave the mortal body it betrayed. The body and brain the so longingly wanted you to love me, letting itself die for you to be happy. I seek what you will never give and yet I still feel as if can still get you to love me, I wish you wanted me…

What do you want?

Do you want to help?

Do you want to find it?

Do you want to be here?

Do you even want me?

I want you to tell me. Will you ever tell me? How long will I have to wait?

Am I your person? Will you love? Do you love me? I love you.

I want to love you.

I want you to love me.

I want the world for you. If it is even just my world. The world I can give you. It is all I have but no matter how much or how little I have I want to give it all to you. You are all I want.

I want to be close to you.

I want you to be close to me.

I want you anywhere I am.

I want you even if you can’t be here.

I want you.

All I want is you.

I wonder if you love me. I hope you love me. Will I have to tell you? Can I ever tell you?

I’m scared.

I’m scared to tell you. Even if you are one of the kindest and most wonderful people in my world. I want to astonish you. I would turn all the stars in the sky to flowers for you.

I want you…

The trees listen. Trees always listen. There kind and polite always waiting to talk. They do talk. They talk a lot. The sounds of their voices soft and kind like a mother soothing her child.

I miss my mother. She is great, her smile like a ray of the sun just shined on her face every time she smiles at you. She loves to smile.

Think of her now hurt like my heart being ripped out of my own chest. I wish I could have seen her one last time.

“Are you ok?”

This voice is kind the tilts soft and twitter like, as a song bird calling a melody.

My eyes forced to see. The light burning like hundreds of little knives stabbing in my eyes.

A black bird. It’s beak small and build lanky. It is beautiful the sun reflect off its feather like onyx shine with undertones of the most lovely blues and reds. They mix and dance as two twin lights in my gaze the likes of which call me.

Pain. Pain. PAIN. Everything is pain. It like a bolt of lightning jumping up the side of my body. The feeling in one of my legs is gone the part like a foreign object to its own body.

“Who?”

The word hurts like venom spilling through my teeth.

“Where is your flock?”

It sounded sad. But why? Sad for me?

My flock..

“They left.”

I force the words out.. a splatter of blood hits the tiny bird.

They left.. they really aren’t coming back for me. I need them. Please. Come back for me. I didn’t mean it. What new pit of hell opened in the path I walk.

I just want to help

All I wanted was to help

Why will no one let me help

…

Why will no one help me?

Another shock of pain shoots down my body as I move. The motion of sitting up feeling like lifting bolders.

Warmth on my chest. The little bird was sitting there perched.

“Stay. Will hurt less.”

Its eyes are wide set like two black pearls set with care.

“I..”

I can’t argue with it.. what’s the point?

My head makes a thud as I lay back. The sounds of the ground rumbling. The trees chattering. The animals gossiping. The world feeling so alive yet I’m here dying.

I close my eyes sitting in the sounds.

The life.

The families.

The friends.

The flocks.

We sit there.

Together.

And yet I feel ok.

Maybe it will be ok.

Woah new character pov :0

Wishing what funny things. One can always wish even if it’s something you don’t really want. Minds want. They want and want and want. Though you feel the power of control it is never really yours.

I wish. I wish all the time. Sometime I wish for to stop wishing.

I wish I was normal.

I wish I had the power to help.

I wish I could save you from this.

I wish I had dragged you in.

I wish you would let me help you.

…

I wish.. I wish I was never made.

Made this way.

The world feels like it’s tilting. The white void around us to bright and blinding.

“What makes you think I would just let you stay here?!”

I can feel my fur bristling, I can’t look very threatening. Like a kit trying to scare an actual cat into listening.

He wasn’t even looking at her…

That wolf.. all he wanted was a friend..

“Keep me instead”

The words come out faster than I could think. They spill out of my mouth like water or like blood.. she knew that feeling way too well.

“NO”

His words are harsh and loud. He sounds panicked.. but why?

she didn’t matter? He matter. He has people to live for. People who would care if he vanished.

What was she in this. A failure.. something that wasn’t ment to be. No one would care if she just disappeared.

The wolf creator is looking at the both of us. His wide eye knowing. He feels familiar, almost comforting. Like a ray of sun light.

I wish I could stay here.

I wish..

I wish I could get him out of here.

I wish he would let me.

“August..”

His eyes look past me fixed on Robert.

I wish he would see me.

I wish I was more than just a kid to him.

My head is full of voices, none of my own. They keep telling what I know. I can’t let you do.

I wish you would let me go.

I wish you would rip out my spine and let me bleed out by your feet.

I wish that all of my organ could be given to you. For you to stomp on. To rip apart.

I wish you would take my heart and hold it with you to be happy with a piece of me I can’t give.

I wish the world would have stop me from being made.

I wish..

People care for him. Deme cares for him.

Deme likes me.. not really though. She likes me for my mother. The mother everyone keeps telling me to be. The reason I’m a mistake. A Glitch.

I wish I were to die.

I wish i could just disappear.

I wish I could take all their pain.

I wish I never told them how to get here..

I wish I had said no.

I wish I could fix this.

Everything tilts. There is solid ground under foot. The webs of land twisting.

He’s here.

He’s Ok.