Just close your eyes, breathe, and try again

Obsessed with the old lady in the store I overheard say, "Well, you know me. I can't resist a gnome"

my new year’s resolution is to stop

head full but i dont even know what’s in there

they call me… 7 Knives. because that’s how many knives it takes me to cook things because I keep puttin em in the fuckin sink without thinking about it

y’all ever want a pretty girl to just.. boss u around a little bit

I too want a bunch of tiny bowls to hold spices in while im cooking but who’s gonna wash them....not I

girl help there is not enough enrichment in my enclosure

my kink is seeing money go into my bank account

It’s so fucked up how ur born and ur life is immediately woven into thousands of years of history that came before you against ur will and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it

good night to versatile gay men, cocaine addicts, people who cant cry because theyre on antidepressants, jolene, lesbians in hawaiian shirts, minecraft players, people who hug trees, cowboys, fucked up pet owners, teens who are so analytical of themselves theyre basically self-taught psychologists, whores, tarot readers, and last but not least, antonio banderas

why do you have to take two buses and a train to get to the heart emojis they should be right after the face emojis -_-