im the trash man

I’m never not gonna make a hc like this but listen ;    Wreck-Gar  loves  kids.   This bastard is a mess of baby fever.   Garbage man probably has some adoption papers somewhere in that stash of his ...     He’ll always try to be friendly to kids and cheer them up ,    he certainly can crack a joke out of some trash !      Oh ,   and if it ever came to his own sparkling ?      Wreck-Gar  would  cry  about  them ,    like  all the  time.   He’d always tell Rum-Maj how lucky he is and just be bawling.   He’d be the best dad ,   supportive dad ,   will juggle his own head for you dad  ( and he can )      Please  hire  him  to  be  your  babysitter.     OFFER     EXPIRES . . .       NEVER   !  !  !

I’m  the  trash  man.       I come out ,    and I throw trash all over the ring !    And then :    I start eatin` garbage.      And then I   PICK  UP   the trash can ,    and I    SMASH   the guy on the head !

Yes  friends ,   act now ,   destroy  Unicron !     Kill  the  Grand  Poobah !            Eliminate   even  the   toughest   stains !          Offer :      hurry  hurry  hurry ,     sale  must  end ,   rush  right  on  down  and  test  drive  latest  model  with  no  obligation.     Framed  in  enamel !         Resists  fire ,   rain  and  corrosion  for  up  to  five  years.        SATISFACTION    GUARANTEED.