Stan Kpop for clear skin ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

As I waited for my husband to make dinner for our special date night, I wandered into my room, and found myself looking for an old box that enclosed memories from my youth. Having found it, I picked up a tattered diary, so worn out that it was practically shedding pages. I opened the diary only to find the first 8 pages of it were filled out. I sat on my carpet as I began to read my entries.

Day #1

I saw him for the first time.

I watched as he moved his body with all his might, dancing to the beat of the music. I watched as a beautiful smile crept onto his face every time the crowd roared in response to his moves. Oh how dangerous that smile was, angelic, heavenly, drawing me towards him. I felt the sudden urge to protect that very smile from any darkness in its vicinity. I watched as he took slow steps towards me, my heart plunging forth to reach out to his form, as he closed the distance between us with his leisurely tread. I watched him reach his hand out, only to take the unfamiliar hand of the woman standing beside me in his, his warm palm enveloping her petite hand. I watched as they threaded their fingers together and he twirled the stranger around, ending the performance by gripping her waist, their foreheads resting against each other. That’s when I knew, he could never be mine.

Day #97

I noticed his presence again.

I was preoccupied in pretending that I was having a good time with the man sitting before me, but my eyes involuntarily trailed over to him, sitting at a table only a small distance away from me, with the same woman I had seen 3 months ago. This is the second time I had seen that mesmerizing smile of his, which had only grown wider from the first time I’d seen it. I watched, my eyes darting in confusion, my heart palpitating uncontrollably, as he got down on one knee, ready to give away his heart to another woman, right in front of my eyes. I watched as the band of metal clung onto her finger, authoritatively claiming the man I had hopelessly fallen for.

Day #122

I finally got to know his name. Jung Hoseok.

Oh how soothing it felt, as his name rolled off of my tongue. I could only imagine the feeling of euphoria, that woman felt, when he called out her name, honey dripping from his voice. I only wished I could be in her place. How did I get to know his name? Realizing that the woman betrothed to my love, was actually my 2nd cousin took me by surprise. I had myself to blame for not knowing who the woman was, considering how I remained distant from family. It was only a while, before I found myself getting close to my affianced cousin, and in turn hearing him say my name for the first time, “Y/N, nice to meet you, I’m Zuya’s fiancé, Hoseok.”

Day #156

I felt his touch.

It wasn’t intentional. I found myself running my hand across the countless amounts of colored napkins that lay before me, as I tried to pick a neutral shade which was close to my liking. Had my concentration been fixed on who was in front of me, I would’ve never gotten to feel his warm skin against mine. It may have been just a brush of our fingers, it may have lasted only for a second, but it was a step further for me. His perplexed expression as he pulled his hand away wasn’t left unnoticed by me, leaving a glimmer of hope, shining too bright for its own good in my heart.

Day #180

I thought I saw something flicker in his eyes. Was it fear? Was it confusion? Was it guilt? What was it? Was it perhaps, lust?

It all happened to quickly to decipher. I watched with admiration as Hoseok carefully observed the options I had laid out in front of him since I was helping him pick out a birthday gift for Zuya. I’d like to believe that the man who unintentionally pushed me, was sent as a sign from God, but I knew it was far too convenient of a situation to be true. Had that man not pushed me, I would’ve never experienced how it felt to have his arms clasp onto my form. To have his lips, only a breath away from mine. Before I could interpret what the glint in his eyes was wishing to convey, he removed his grip from mine, apologizing immediately for having caused a ruckus. The way he held me, saving me from my fall, it was a tad too much for my heart to push away as ‘just a coincidence’.

Day #218

I made a mistake. We both made a mistake.

Alcohol was the real culprit behind everything that happened, in his point of view. He blamed the alcohol for inducing feelings of lust towards me. But I only had my feelings to blame. Alcohol was only a catalyst that ignited my passion for Hoseok further. My intoxicated mind only diluted the self-control I’ve had managed to maintain for so long. Did I regret it? Partially. It made me feel as though I was a terrible human being for being the one squirming underneath an affianced man, committing sins untold. But isn’t this what I wanted for so long? Somehow it felt wrong. I began to realize I wanted him to be mine. But who was I to stop him from running back to his fiancé? The cousin he slept with? The woman who would be labeled ‘indecent’ for having her desires fulfilled by a man who belonged to someone else? I was no one but a sinful accomplice to him.

Day #301

I watched him get married.

It had been a long 3 months of agonizing, until Zuya had decided to forgive him. As for me? I was cast aside as the ‘indecent’ human being I was. Had I been invited to the wedding? No. But had I managed to sneak in and see my love get married to another woman? Yes. The pain I felt was something I had never experienced before. How could one man have such a tight grip over my heart? That day I promised myself, as I watched Hoseok smile ever so brightly at the woman in the white gown, that this was the last time I would see him.

Day #1369

I came back.

I felt a tug on my arm, as I watched my husband flash me a bright smile, leading me to our luggage, as we returned to my hometown after 3 years. The first year or so had been hell, but after meeting someone who seemed to pick up the broken pieces of my heart and mend them, I had been the happiest I had ever been, for the last one year, the highlight being, my now husband, Chan, proposing to me and finally getting married. What were the chances that seeing a face could bring all of those memories that I had forced myself to lock away, cascading down in a ruthless disarray of emotions? The chances were low, but never zero. I saw him. Even worse, me and my husband had brunch with Hoseok and Zuya. I felt like tearing myself apart then and there. Only when Zuya had left to visit the washroom and Chan had left to attend an important call, only then did I find the courage to look into his eyes. Only then did he finally speak up, addressing me. He said three words. “I love you”? No. “I am sorry” is what he said. Was it possible to break my heart even more? If it was, then he succeeded. But unexpectedly, I felt a rush of relief. This soon led to silence between us, but not before I could mutter out a feeble “I’m sorry too”. Parting ways amicably was something I never thought I could do when it came to Hoseok, but with Chan by my side, and Zuya by his, I pulled myself together and bid him goodbye. I had broken my promise. I told myself I would never see him again. And even though I promised myself the same again, would it really be true? Why did I get the feeling that my promise was gonna be broken again?

“Y/N! Dinner’s ready!” my husband calls out to me, as I drop the diary, the incomplete last entry, still lingering in the back of my mind.

“So what did chef Chan make today?” I ask smiling, as I lean over the kitchen counter.

“Some spaghetti aglio olio for m’lady.” He said dramatically flipping the kitchen towel over his shoulder.

“Well let’s grab some plates, I’m starving.” I said, as we begin to prep the dishes.

That’s when I found myself unconsciously screaming at God in the depths of my mind. ‘Why did I meet him? Why did he have to walk into my life?’ I sighed as I realized life never goes as planned. Not everything in life will go my way. I cracked a sad smile, as I looked at my husband, who was talking about the different types of cheese, wondering how life would’ve been with my first love, Jung Hoseok.

A/N: Yes this is a little something for my angst-loving heart. Yes, the ending is intentionally mysterious. What did you mean by ‘you had a feeling that you would see him again’? Are you still in an affair with Hoseok? Yes? No? It’s up to you to decide. Hahaa BOOM sUsPeNsE :]

Also, sad to say this, but I’ll be going on a one month hiatus starting today, so this was a tiny parting gift for you all. As much as I love this platform, stuff in my real life is going to absolute shit and I need to get it together before it’s too late. Don’t worry I’ll only be gone for a month, and I hope to see you guys again :)

Jungkook strikes me as the type of person to go on a date where he can’t mess up. We all know Jungkook is a perfectionist and literally good at everything so I would think he’d like to take you out on a date, while simultaneously showing off his talents. Personally I feel an idealistic date with Jungkook would involve going bowling. Of course he would ask you if you were okay with it, and if you refused he would come up with another plan, but if he were to suggest any date idea first, it would be bowling. You would spend the evening bowling and enjoy a quick meal in the food court later on. Jungkook would also go as far as to teach you the right way to bowl, which could also amount to some amount of teasing and flirting, at how bad you are at it. But overall, you both would have a good laugh and memorable time. Personally I don’t feel like he would make too big of a move at the end of the night, maybe just a tender goodbye kiss, as he drops you off home.

Yoongi would most probably go out on a movie date with you. Now this movie date wouldn’t be just a normal one, no. It would originally be at a movie theatre, where you somehow managed to convince him to watch a horror movie with you. But Yoongi, who hates horror movies would just end up dozing off, while you would get bored of how awful the vfx are. You guys would ditch the movie during the interval, and would end up going back over to your place to watch Netflix instead, and cuddle up on your couch. Of course popcorn and soda is a must. Mid-way through the sappy romcom, you would end up dozing off on Yoongi’s shoulder, and he would make sure to wrap your form in a cozy blanket, and hold you close to his chest, soaking in the comfort and warmth you radiate. I personally feel that although Yoongi may frown upon physical contact, but he has a special exception for it when it comes from you. The night would end up with you two cuddling and falling asleep on the couch.

A date with Seokjin, according to me, would be quite an interesting one. He would tell you dress in your fanciest attire, and invite you over to his place. Once you get to his place, you’ll see him dressed in an expensive looking tux, only to find out that you won’t be going out somewhere fancy, and that instead he’ll be making you a 3-course meal by himself. Of course he asks for your assistance in the kitchen, and you being klutz, he needs to help you with everything, but he doesn’t mind, because its you. Along with some bickering and teasing, he finally sets out the candle light dinner outside, in his massive balcony, a beautiful view of the city to accompany you. He wouldn’t be one to make intense eye contact, instead choosing to shy away and laugh every time he meets your eyes. And of course his ears would most definitely turn red when you shower him with overflowing compliments about how good dinner was. When you decide to leave, he would stop you, and plead you to stay the night over, whether it be to cuddle or do something more, I’ll let you decide.

A date with Jimin would most definitely involve dancing. Personally I feel like he’d be a great club dancer, as in he would be good at simply grooving his body to the loud beats of the club music instead of performing a whole-ass choreographed routine in the middle of the dance floor, hazy and sweaty underneath the flashing disco lights and under the influence of alcohol. The date might start off with Jimin being quite shy to come out onto the dance floor, but once the alcohol surges through his body, he’s ready to claim you as his in front of the whole damn club. This date would be kinda risqué and might just end up with the two of you hooking up and going further too, but only with your consent. Jimin might come off a bit suggestive under the influence of all the alcohol in his body, but he would never go further and make a move on you against your wish. And personally I feel like we’d all be too entranced by a risqué Jimin to deny him.

I wouldn’t go with anything so obvious as a dance-related date with Hoseok, because personally I feel he’s one to enjoy the simpler things in life. He would take you out for a nice morning drive in his car, preferably a roofless one. The wind in your hair, and Hoseok’s hand clasping yours over the console is all that you need for this date. Just cranking up some tunes on the car’s radio on full blast, as you both sing your heart out. You guys would also make a quick pit stop at a nearby fast-food place, most probably a burger joint, and enjoy some takeout in the trunk of your car, sort of like a cute little picnic. After lunch you would drive around a bit more, maybe stopping by a few streets to admire the graffiti on the walls and obviously take tons and tons of pictures. You might also end up shopping as an impromptu decision because you love Hoseok’s sense of fashion. The date would end on sad note though, none of you wanting to unlink your arms from the other’s. A heart melting goodbye kiss, and a promise to see you again soon is how your day out would come to an end.

Taehyung would most definitely be dressed up in a suit and tie, or a fitting dress shirt, and would take you out for a dinner at a fine-dining restaurant. Keeping everything classy, from the formal attire, to the 5-star ambience of the restaurant, to the non-spicy food, he would make sure everything goes right as the night keeps going. You both would enjoy some red wine and might I add, even try and play footsies underneath the table. Moreover I feel that Taehyung would like to go on a date where he would get to admire your face and look into your eyes thoroughly. I feel like he’s always been one for that intense eye contact, so you would be falling right underneath his intent gaze, underneath the soft candle light on your dinner date. And just maybe too much of that alcohol might just be a catalyst for you ending up in his bed the next morning.

I feel that Namjoon is a man who really appreciates the smaller things in life. Of course he could just go down the ideal path, and take you out for a nice dinner, meanwhile flaunting his aura, but I personally think, this isn’t what he would really want to do. I think Namjoon would take you out for a picnic. A delicious homemade packed lunch and some sliced fruit in his bag, and he’s off for his day out with you. You both would either end up going hiking into the mountains and end with having lunch on the top most spot of the trek, the serene view of mother nature before you, or you both would end up going down to the beach, locking hands with each other, walking barefoot through the water and the sand, talking to each other about what’s going on in your lives, while enjoying the beautiful sunset by your side. The day would end up with you both being too tired to really do anything more, as you’ve been walking around all day, and you might just end up cuddling or going your separate ways for the night.

A/N: If you guys have reached this far, I congratulate you for not giving up midway. I really hope you guys liked it and also stay tuned for another little oneshot I’ll be posting after 2 days, along with a little surprise announcement.

 You stood before the building, drinking in the beauty of the exterior. You weren’t too surprised as you had worked at a 5-star restaurant for the majority of your life, but you were fairly nervous as you had never been on the receiving end of such ambience, ever since you had run away from your family’s wealth when you were 16.

 You walked in and were immediately greeted, “Good evening ma’am, how may I help you?”

 “Ummm… I have a reservation for two under the name Mr. Kim?”

 “Okay, I’ll check that for you.”

 You looked around and observed the luxurious decor of the place while the hostess went through the registry. She finally cleared her throat and spoke up, “Yes ma’am, Mr. Kim has been here for 2 minutes already, if you follow me, I shall take you to your seat.” She said smiling.

 Your palms start sweating as you follow the hostess to your table. Why were you so nervous? Was it because he was rich? Was it because he’d treated you to such a fancy place just for a blind date? Was it because you were afraid to break it to him how you were only expecting to have a good time, and not a committed relationship?

 Your brain most definitely started malfunctioning when you saw the hostess motion you towards a man sitting at what you presumed was your table. You took small strides as you made your way over to the intimidating man. He pulled back your chair for you and seated himself in front of you.

 And when your friends said this man was devilishly handsome, they weren’t exaggerating. His skin was clear and almost glowing. He was dressed in a fitted black blazer and trousers to match, along with a classic white button down underneath. His eyes were deep and intriguing, making you want to sit and stare into them all day. His lips were perfectly curved and looked inviting. You noticed two cute moles, one below his lip, and the other below his nose. His hair was a gorgeous jet black and was gelled back. A single strand cascaded on his forehead making him look even more suave. His poise held confidence, his shoulders held high, which seemed intimidating enough to you.

 “Good evening Miss. Y/N.”

 You thought his looks had attacked you enough. But that wasn’t the end of it. It’s when he spoke that you melted. His voice made goosebumps travel down your spine. What had you gotten yourself into? There’s no way this man was going to give you just a night of fun! What was Jackie thinking?

 “G-Good evening Mr. Kim.” You said trying to cope with his formalism.

 “Can we drop the act?” he asks, your eyes widening in surprise.

 “Pardon?”

 “I meant I know I’m intimidating, but like this is a bit much isn’t it?”

 “Wha… but you…”

 “Jackie said, and I quote, ‘You got money right? Flaunt it!’.” He says smiling.

 “Oh god.” You say trying to hold back a smile and failing.

 “Sometimes I wonder how Mark tolerates her.” He says giggling.

 “They do love each other a lot.” You say sighing.

 “Hey ummm… Y/N?” he says.

 “Yeah?”

 “Wanna get out of here?” he asks, eyes shining.

 //

 You were sweating and panting as you held onto his shoulders.

 “Taehyung, go slower, you’re killing me!” you yell out.

 “Jeez what are you? 60?” he scoffs.

 “Ayy you try walking in my heels!” you roll your eyes.

 You were both currently walking up the stairs to an old skating rink that overlooked the entire city. Taehyung held a takeout bag with 2 simple diner style burgers in them, while his other hand was clasping yours, helping you get up the last flight of stairs. You finally reached the spot he told you about and gasped at the sight you saw. You could see the entire skyline from here and it was a gorgeous sight to enjoy while eating the perfect comfort food.

 You both sat down and Taehyung handed you your dinner. “I much prefer these burgers than some expensive ass Pacific Bluefin tuna.” He says with a mouthful of food.

 “I’m surprised at how humble you are.” You say sincerely.

 “Yeah, the key is to never forget your roots.”

 “Sometimes people need to forget their roots…” you whisper unconsciously.

 “What?” he asks.

 “Uhh… the burgers are delicious.”

 “I know right? Mark doesn’t like them.”

 “Well Mark can go jump off a cliff.”

 “I couldn’t agree more.” He said smiling wide, as you admire his beautiful smile.

 “To be honest I never thought you’d be such a breath of fresh air when I first saw you.”

 “I tend to leave such a first impression.”

 “Umm… actually… I just wanted to clarify.” You say as you finish your burgers. “I don’t wanna lead you on. I’m not looking for anything serious.”

 “Well you’re lucky, because I’m not either. I tend to travel a lot. And I tend to fool around here and there and not stay emotionally grounded with anyone.” He says shrugging.

 “I hate commitment too. I just like to have a fun time.” You murmur.

 “Want me to show you a fun time?” he asks smirking.

 //

 30 minutes later, you were back against the wall of your apartment, as your lips were engulfed by Taehyung’s. His tongue felt hot, clashing against the walls of your mouth, as you shamelessly moaned into the kiss. His blazer had long been discarded on your floor, and your hands were tangled in his soft black hair. His hands roamed on your body rather daringly. His hands travelled up the length of your leg, causing goosebumps across the skin of your exposed thigh. His long fingers gripped around the meat of your thighs before he lifted you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist and gripped onto his shoulders to balance yourself.

 The kiss was sloppy and heated with none of you willing to stop for breath. His hands undid your hair and let your curls fall around your shoulders. His fingers thread through your long locks and he pulled on your hair, biting your lip as he broke the kiss. “You’re gorgeous.” He murmured shakily. You gave him a sly smirk and pulled his neck, connecting your lips again. He broke apart again, and stared into your eyes. His deep brown orbs were completely blown out, drowning in lust, and you were sure you matched it with the same darkness in your eyes. His voice was breathless as he said, “Why is the god damn zipper so tiny?”

 You couldn’t help but giggle at his urgency. “What’re you laughing about?” he asks furrowing his eyebrows.

 “It’s just you sound like those guys who struggle with a bra clasp and end up giving up in frustration.” You laugh out loud.

 “Oh I’m not giving up. You best believe I’m getting that god damn dress off of you.” He says, his voice husky.

 He turned you around and dropped you on your bed. He climbed over you, his leg landing between your thighs, his hands working on taking off your dress. He devoured your lips with an almost animalistic hunger when he’d finally exposed your lingerie to him.

 //

 Your chest was heaving as you stared up at the white ceiling fan. You had a déjà vu from about 2 weeks ago, from one of the many nights with Yoongi, where you had watched him leave after satisfying both your needs. You turned your head to see Taehyung’s angelic face next to you, as you catch his eyes already on you.

 “Why’re you staring at me like that?” you ask smiling.

 “I’ve slept with a lot of people ‘for fun’. But trust me when I say I’ve never wanted to stay back and cuddle as much as I do with you.” He says sighing.

 “Don’t fall in love with me Kim.” You say rolling your eyes.

 “It’s next to impossible, but I’ll try.” He says sarcastically, receiving a playful nudge from you in response.

 “Pillow talk has never been part of my routine…” you speak out, sincerity lacing your tone.

 “Me too…” he whispers and what he does next shocks you. He places his head on your chest, his face burying into the crook of your neck, and his arms wrap around your waist, sending shivers across your bare skin.

 “W-What’re you doing?”

 “Don’t think about it too much, just relax.” He huffs out, his breath running against your warm neck.

 You relax under his touch and involuntarily find your hands wrapping around his head as you nuzzle him closer. You let out a shaky breath as this reminds you too much of your college boyfriend. “Do you have to leave tomorrow?” you ask in a daze.

 “Sorry but yes… but I have a feeling I’m not gonna lose contact with you like I do with other people I sleep with…” he said smiling.

 “Me too…” you say letting your tired eyes flutter shut.

 //

 You wake up to a different sound everyday it seems. Today you woke up to the sound of what sounded like empty plastic bottles falling. Your eyes met with Taehyung’s, who came stumbling out of the washroom. “Sorry if I woke you up, I accidently dropped the shampoo bottles on your counter.”

 “No it’s okay.” You say smiling as you got up and put on your robe onto your naked form.

 You watched Taehyung, as he was folding the sleeves of his white button down to his elbows. His hair cascaded over his forehead in a messy, but still intimidating manner. He looked up at you as he grabbed his coat. “Well I should get going, my driver’s downstairs.”

 “Oh okay…” you murmur softly.

 He walks up to you and lifts up your chin ever so lightly. You meet his warm smile and you instantly melt. He leans in and lands a soft kiss against your lips. “I left my number on a note on the night stand. Promise me, we’ll stay in touch.”

 “Sure.” You say sighing, with a sad smile.

 “Hey, I meant to be friends, not for just hooking up again…” he says chuckling lightly.

 “Oh…” your eyes were wide.

 “Well I have to go now, bye Y/N I had a great time…” he says walking away, his hand slipping from your hold.

 You watched as he left your place, and you went to take a shower. Somehow this time when you heard the familiar click of the door, you didn’t feel hurt. Even though Taehyung was gone, you didn’t feel sad. Did it have anything to do with the affection he had shown you, besides the lustful sin you had committed?

 //

 Yoongi walked up the stairs of your building. His hair was a mess, his eyes were swollen from not getting enough sleep. He didn’t like the way he had yelled at you yesterday. He wasn’t in the right mind and he was just angered when you had told him that the memories he held dearest to his heart were a mistake. He finally reached your floor at 9 am in the morning, hoping he could resolve a few unspoken issues. Confrontation was always Yoongi’s go-to method.

 But Yoongi stopped in his tracks when he saw a man with tussled dark hair close the door to your apartment. He could only assume the worst by the sight in front of him. The man passed by Yoongi, bowing out of courtesy on his way to the stairs. All his obsessive thoughts started coming back to him. Maybe you didn’t want to go back to being friends. Maybe you should stick to the deal you had made. The slight bit of confidence Yoongi had when he was making his way to meet you was wiped away as he turned on his heel and made his way towards the exit.

 He needed some time. You needed some time. Alone.

 //

 The next whole week had gone by in a blur. Yoongi was procrastinating on whether or not to talk to you, ultimately deciding against it. You had continued to ignore Yoongi’s presence in your workplace the whole time. He didn’t walk you home every night since. You had also begun texting Taehyung from time to time, and you both had settled on being just friends, since you learned you both much enjoyed each other’s goofy side. Your life was in a constant loop, going to work, ignoring Yoongi, reaching home, and sleeping, only to repeat the same schedule every other day of the week.

 But today was a bit different. It was a Saturday night, and tonight was important for you, and every other employee. Tonight, all the heads and managers of the other branches of this ambiguous chain of luxury restaurants, were here to dine. Along with the CEO of this chain. You knew you were a waitress, but you had assisted in cooking tons of times before. Tonight they had all the experienced heads, like you assist in cooking, while they assigned the newly trained rookies as hosts and hostesses. You were all told to be super attentive and to make your nerves worse, you were being supervised by your head chef and manager Kim Seokjin.

 But the timing was completely wrong. Today your thoughts about your personal life were unnecessarily heightened. Seeing Yoongi working his fingers across the monochrome keys of the sleek black piano, he himself being dressed in an all-black suit and shirt tailored to be strained across his firm chest, was extremely distracting. You tossed the meat into the pan, aware of the powerful gaze of Seokjin standing in the corner of the kitchen.

 You tried to vaporize the alcohol by doing a simple flambé. You had done it tons of times before. You tilted the pan so the fire could catch the alcohol and a flame could erupt in your pan. But your mind being lost elsewhere you were shocked when the flame came on, and failed to move out of the way in time, burning your exposed forearm in the process. You yelped in surprise and pain as Maya took the pan from you for relief.

 “Chef, focus! This is no time to slack!” Seokjin’s voice rang through the loud kitchen.

 You huffed in annoyance and took the pan back from Maya explaining to her you’re okay, and began tossing the meat, ignoring the searing pain in your arm and the mark that was beginning to darken. As soon as all the dishes were made, you were given a 5 minute breather, till you waited for new customers to arrive. You stood in the corner, your hands cupping the burn on your hand in pain. You looked up in surprise when you heard a slam on the table in front of you. You watched Seokjin walk away, as you looked down at the ice pack he had left for you on the table. You couldn’t help but land a small smile as you iced the burn on your arm.

 It wasn’t 10 minutes later, and you were already pan frying zucchinis and slicing cherry tomatoes. Your break had barely lasted 2 minutes, before you had been called in to make a very important dish for the CEO’s family which had just arrived. “Move it! Move it! We don’t want to keep Mr. Kang waiting!” you heard Seokjin clap his palms together.

 What didn’t help your sense of urgency and added to the pressure was Yoongi entering the kitchen, as he stood in the corner having a chat with Seokjin. You knew that they were close, but you never knew Yoongi was close enough to lay a hand on Seokjin’s shoulder like that. You immediately placed the dish onto the counter, your mind distracted by Yoongi’s presence.

 Before you knew it there was a sharp call of your name leaving Seokjin’s lips. “CHEF Y/N?!”

 You rushed towards the counter, scared out of your wits. You watched as Yoongi’s eyes met yours in a sense of panic. “Y-Yes Mr. Kim?”

 “DID YOU DROWN THIS SALMON IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN AND PLACE IT ON THE CEO’S PLATE?”

 “N-No sir…”

 “IT’S SALTIER THAN THE BOTTOM OF THE PACIFIC! YOU KNOW WHAT COULD’VE HAPPENED IF WE SEND THIS PLATE OUT? YOUR HEAD IS NOT IN THE GAME CHEF! WE DON’T HAVE ROOM FOR AMATEURS IN THIS ESTABLISHED CHAIN!”

 “I-I’m sorry sir…” you said trying not to let the humiliation get to you.

 “You are one of my trusted employees so this is a warning, but if this happens again, I’m gonna have to let you go, you understand that chef?” Seokjin finally calms down and says.

 “Y-Yes sir…” you feel everyone’s eyes on you.

 “Retire for the night chef. You’re too distracted. We’ll fill in with someone else. You can leave.” Seokjin announces before leaving the kitchen. You take off your apron and before any of the others can ask you any questions, you stride out the back door. You sit down on your heels in the dark alley and hold your head and pull on your hair in frustration.

 Damn you Min Yoongi.

 Your cheeks stained with long gone tears, you held a cigarette up to your lips, as you tried to calm yourself down. You heard the door to the kitchen creak open.

 “Don’t try to ask me if I’m okay Jackie because frankly I’m n—” you speak out without looking.

 “The name’s Yoongi, Min Yoongi. Not Jackie.” A low voice echoes down the walls of the alley.

 All you can do is let out a huff of frustration and crush your cigarette under your shoe. “What do you want from me?”

 “I don’t want anything from you… just wanted to check on you…”

 “Since when do you care about my feelings?” you ask rhetorically, not expecting an answer.

 “Since last month I suppose, since when we walked to your apartment that night.” His straight forward answer surprises you.

 “What are we doing Yoongi?! What the hell is going on with us?!” you ask frustration lacing your tone. “We’re supposed to be fuck buddies. And we haven’t even had sex in 2 weeks! And before I know it, we’re sharing deep secrets with each other and talking to each other like we’ve known each other for years, and kissing each other like we’re in love—”

 “Because I am in love.”

 //

 Yoongi stops your little rant and shocks you with his words. You weren’t expecting such a direct answer to leave his mouth. You stood up, brushing out your skirt and muttered softly. “W-What?”

 “You heard me. I’m in love.” He enunciates.

 “But why?” you ask, oblivious. “I’m damaged goods. I’m toxic. We both are in a toxic relationship.”

 “But I’m willing to work to fix that.” Yoongi says with soft eyes. “I want to fix that gaping hole that the bastard left in your heart 6 years ago.”

 “Listen I really like you too, but I don’t want to… hurt you…”

 “You would never intentionally do that…”

 “I-I’m not ready…”

 “I’ll be here for you when you’re ready. This is new to me too! We can work through it together, please Y/N just trust me.”

 You sigh loudly. Before you could think you grabbed his collar and landed a kiss on his lips. He stumbled, but eventually his arms snaked around your waist, holding you so tight, afraid to let you go. You broke the kiss and looked into his beautiful deep brown orbs. “You really wanna do this?”

 “Yes.” He smiles and lands a small peck on your cheek.

 You smack his chest playfully and say, “You’re creeping me out, what happened to the Yoongi who could never even give me a straight compliment?”

 “Well I’m afraid someone changed him…” Yoongi says after thinking.

 “Oh really? Who may that special someone be?” you smirk playfully.

 “This woman at work. I’ve known her for 4 years, but never got around to talking to her until about 2 months ago.” He says chuckling.

 “Wow what a coward.” You scoff.

 “Well I don’t care, because I proudly simp for her now.” He says, his precious gummy smile making a rare appearance.

 You tug his collar, and smile as you look into his eyes. You lean in painfully slow, your breath ghosting his lips, but never coming close enough to touch them. “Quit playing me like that.” Yoongi whines making you giggle.

 “Well maybe I should—”

 “Miss. Y/N— oh sorry, please meet me inside, I need to have a word with you chef.” Seokjin says from behind the door.

 You immediately shove Yoongi away and walk back into the restaurant, your cheeks on fire. “Yes sir?” you say once you’re inside facing him.

 “I’d expect you to be a bit more professional. I didn’t peg you as the type of person to have a romantic rendezvous behind your workplace, but go off I guess.” He sighs. “Well getting to the point, I just wanted to say that, please maintain your work ethic. Your professionalism is something I’ve always respected, and something that made you stand out in this field. And I’d love to keep you in this kitchen, so please focus on your job.”

 “Yes sir.” You say softly, feeling a bit relieved.

 “And… I apologize for over reacting a while ago. I was not in the right head space. It’s just the CEO never stops pestering me on the tiniest details, and I wanted to prove him wrong, and show him that I can run this place. So if he received an overly salted plate, he would hold that against me my whole life.”

 “I understand sir. You don’t need to apologize. I’ll be sure to maintain my work ethic and never make a careless mistake like that again.” You say smiling.

 “Great. Well have a good night chef.” He says before bowing in courtesy and exiting the empty kitchen. You noticed that all the dishes had been done, so you went back to grab your coat and exited the restaurant to your new life waiting for you in the dark alley.

 //

 You were pretty sure you made the cab driver uncomfortable, but it’s nothing he hadn’t seen before. You both had long forgotten the sweet kisses and passionate hugs you guys had given each other merely 30 minutes ago, when you confronted each other, and now you were busy devouring each other’s lips, your tongues twisted in a feverish make out session.

 You stumbled into a familiar apartment, not yours, but in fact Yoongi’s. It had been 3 weeks since you’d last been here. You wasted absolutely no time as you both hurriedly discarded all your clothes onto the floor. Yoongi gripped your hip, with enough force to bruise it, as he lifted your form across the house and dropped you onto his bed. You drank in the familiar scent of Yoongi’s sheets around you, and the sight of a hovering Yoongi above you. His eyes mirrored yours, drowning in lust. His hair was disheveled and he looked at you with hunger. His lips landed on your neck, as you tilted your head the other way to make room for him to explore as much as he could. His hands ran along your sides as your hands raked his back. Your eyes fluttered shut, as you let out an uncontrollable moan, when you felt his teeth nip into the skin at your collarbone. You felt his warm tongue lick the mark he had made on you, as he continued his way down your torso.

 “You sure you wanna do this?”

 “Bitch, we’ve fucked 15 times before!” you laugh out loud.

 “Jeez woman, I’m out here trying to make it romantic, and you just rail me like that?”

 “Just shut up and do it. I need you right now.” You whine, which seems to turn him on.

 //

 Your eyes flutter open and you’re surprised that you aren’t woken up by any displeasing noises. The sunlight partially blocked by the semi see-through blinds, cast a dim light in the room. You found your head resting on Yoongi’s chest, a soft rhythmic breath leaving his chest, sounding like music to your ears. Your hand laid across his naked chest, while his hand was wrapped around you, his palm laying across your bare back. You yawned and suddenly flinched when you felt Yoongi’s lips on your forehead.

 “Good morning.” He said, his voice raspy and gruff.

 “Good morning.” You reply smiling.

 “I’ve never wanted to wake up next to someone this badly…” he sighs.

 “Why’re you so cheesy? What happened to Yoongi? Who are you?”

 “I don’t know Y/N… but I’m open to change.” He says smiling, looking down to meet your eyes.

 You chuckle in response. You watch as his fingers run across your hand which is laying on his chest. His fingers brush your knuckles and he looks as though he’s in deep thought. “Where’s your ring?” he asks unconsciously.

 “I took it off last night. It’s on your night stand.” You say smiling.

 “Oh… well I hate to break it to you, and I know it’s a Sunday, but I booked us a brunch reservation at a nice café down the street.”

 “You really didn’t have to…”

 “But I did. We’ve been sleeping with each other for 2 months, and I haven’t taken you out on a proper date, like ever!”

 “Well food does sound like a good idea, I’m starving.”

 “Well then get your tiny tushie outta bed.” He says playfully pinching your cheek, and jumping out of bed to freshen up.

 After you both had showered and gotten your clothes on, you were wearing your heels by the door, when Yoongi walked out of his bedroom, “You forgot this!” he says handing you your silver ring. His curious eyes watched, as you took the ring from him, and slipped it into your purse instead of putting it on your finger. “Come on let’s go.” You said grabbing his hand, unaware of the wide smile your bare hand had brought onto Yoongi’s face.

 //

 Brunch was delicious. And so was the dinner date you had a week later. 2 weeks had gone by, smooth sailing for your new relationship. Your fingers remained naked, no ring in trace, in the entirety of the last 2 weeks. It was a cold Friday night, and you were now sitting at the piano bench, in an empty restaurant. You glanced over your shoulder to see Yoongi’s eyes, focused on the keys in front of him. For once in a long time you could truly say you were happy. Your life was blissful.

 “Y/N…?” Yoongi says interrupting your thoughts.

“Yeah?”

 “Could you sing…?”

 “Sure.” You said smiling, as you already knew which song he wanted you to sing. You cleared your throat as you begun the first verse of ‘My Heart Will Go On’.

 There you both were, all alone, doing the things you loved, with the person you loved beside you, and you couldn’t have asked for more. No more did you feel lost. No more did you think of love as a myth. You had finally found someone to keep your heart safe, in this cruel world. And you couldn’t be happier, that your savior was Min Yoongi.

«Previous :: Masterlist 

A/N: Y’all I still can’t believe I wrote a whole ass series. I’m usually one to write really long oneshots or two shots, but I decided to turn this into a chapter wise series. Anyways, I hope you guys really liked it, and stay tuned for more works from me, in the near future :)

Don’t forget to follow @jungshook69​ for more content:) You can check out more works of mine here. Have a great day:)

“Hi…” his soothing voice managed to mutter, his shocked expression mirroring your own.

 “Long time no see…” you say with a heavy breath.

 You observed his figure. His beautiful doe eyes were shining with the same sparkle as they did back when you both were lovers. His face had gone from being a bit boyish, or babyish as you liked to call it, to a bit more structured. His jaw had sharpened, although there were no visible wrinkles lining his face, except for some adorable smile lines beside his crescent eyes. His hair was far different from what is was back then. You used to call him coconut head, in owe to his soft brown hair that lay across his forehead. But now his hair was much longer, and a dark shade of black, lengthy enough to be easily pulled back into a man bun. His shoulders were broader and his body looked much more buff, and his arms were fairly big as compared to a few years ago. He was adorned in black trousers and a white button down, with the top 2 buttons undone, giving you a slight peak at the tattoo you had grown to love, on his right collarbone.

 “Do you mind if I take a seat beside you?” his melodious voice asked softly, contrary to his rough exterior.

 “Y-yeah sure…” you said, shutting your journal close and making room for him on the small park bench.

 You lay your hands across your lap, unsure of what to say next. But he saved you the pain and spoke up first, “How have you been?”

 “Good… you?”

 “Great…” he said his gaze fixed on the playground.

 “Still married?” you ask. You want to mentally slap yourself for letting such a question slip, before he interrupts your thoughts.

 “Yes… you see her?” he says pointing to the playground. Your eyes search for a female, perhaps the same height as Jungkook, but your eyes widen at what he says next, “You see that small girl with pigtails on the swing?”

 “Y-Yeah…” you manage to speak.

 “Her name is Hana, she’s my daughter.” He says letting out a deep breath.

 “O-Oh…” you didn’t know why you were surprised. He was married. It had been 6 years. Of course he had a child. You watched as the small girl giggled, as a woman with straight platinum blonde hair, a smile on her lips, stood behind the swing and pushed the little girl back and forth.

 “And that’s my wife… Sana.”

 “Wow… you got a whole family… nice…” you cringe at the words that left your mouth. You felt a twinge of envy. How did everyone around you have their life so put together? Were you the only one who would never settle down with a special someone? Were you only made to work and never love?

 “Not the family I envisioned, but none the less, a happy family.” He whispered to himself. “So… you seeing someone?” he asks.

 “Not at the moment no…” you speak, ashamed of your toxic lust-induced lifestyle.

 You share a moment of silence, both of you keeping your eyes fixed on the playground. “Y-You still where that?” Jungkook spoke up.

 “Huh?” you looked up to see him pointing at your fingers which were unconsciously playing with the band of your silver ring. “O-Oh yeah… umm… just— yeah I wear it… it looks cool…” you cringe in disgust at your word vomit, knowing he wouldn’t buy it.

 But he knew better, and didn’t question it further. You laid motionless as you tried to keep your emotions at bay. You were mad at him. Infuriated even. He left you in the dust. But at the same time, you loved him dearly. He was the only one you could trust in this cruel world. He was the only real thing that happened to your young naïve 16 year old self.

 You immediately froze in your spot when you felt a warm touch of skin on the back of your hand. You looked down to see Jungkook’s tattooed right hand laying over your hand, which was on your lap.

 “I’m sorry Y/N, I’m sorry for doing what I did and hurting you.”

 Your eyes were glossy, tears threatening to overflow, as you fixed your gaze on the woman and the small girl in her arms, as they walked into the neighboring convenience store.

 “We weren’t meant to be…” was all you could muster out.

 “We were meant to be… I was a coward.” He says, his hand not leaving yours.

 “Don’t blame yourself. It was my fault, I pushed it too far, by planning to run away.” You try sounding cold and stern, but it comes out as a whimper.

 “The people were right…” he says, his finger absent-mindedly playing with the ring on your finger. “…the timing was wrong.”

 You control your rapid heartbeat as you feel a tear slip out from your right eye, staining your cheek, as the drop slid down the length of your face. You hear the loud piercing sound of his ringtone, before he picks up the call and puts the phone up to his ear, his hand never leaving yours. You hear the loud voice on the other end.

 “Baby, I got the diapers, I didn’t see you anywhere. Will you come to our car in the parking lot?”

 “Yeah, I’ll be there in 2 minutes.”

 “Okay bye baby!”

 “Bye.”

 You here the beep of the phone call hanging up as you feel his figure shift next to you. You gasp as his hand tightens his grip on yours. You swear your heart stops when you feel his other hand turns your shoulder to face him. This is the first time you’ve looked straight into his eyes, in the last 6 years. He looks at you with the same warmth and guilt, as his large hands clasp your tiny ones.

 “I missed you.” He huffs out.

 “I missed you too. But you have a family to get back to.” You sigh sadly.

 “I hope we meet again Y/N.”

 “I don’t.” you mutter out too low for him to hear. It was too painful even thinking about seeing him again.

 He stands up, his figure looming over yours, before you decide to do the same. He then leans in and wraps his arms around your waist, in an all-too-familiar manner, which breaks the last wall you’ve been holding up. You feel his breath skim the skin on your neck, sending goosebumps down your spine. You feel his warm cheeks brush against your collarbones. You try to hold yourself back from surrendering and dropping yourself in his strong arms right then and there. He slowly backs away from you before you could do so, “Bye Y/N…” he says giving you a sad smile.

 You’re unable to form words, as your hands feel cold, needy to feel his warmth again. You watch his retreating figure, until he disappears behind the rows and rows of cars. You slam your journal into your sling and run back home as fast as your feet can carry you. You promised yourself, you would never let another man get to you. You’d never let another man, make you cry for him again. But you never expected the same man from your past, to break you a second time.

 //

 The first 10 minutes after you reached home, you just blankly started at the white wall in front of you. The next 20 minutes were spent with you cleaning up the mess after you broke a glass plate in anger. You didn’t know what to do with yourself. You’d never been so devastated in the last 6 years. You’d learnt to control your emotions, and to not take love seriously. But when a certain someone had walked into your life for a mere 20 minutes, all of that had gone down the drain. You felt helpless. You felt powerless. How could a man have such an effect on you?

 You were on the ground sweeping a few remnant glass shards, when you heard a soft knock on the door. You opened the door to reveal a smiling Yoongi, a rare sight you would’ve teased him for, if it weren’t for the horrible morning you’d had. His smile immediately dropped on seeing your red eyes, concern washing over his features, “You okay?”

 “Yeah” you mutter out uninterested, walking back into your apartment. You watched him drop his phone and keys onto your shoe stand, as he took off his beanie placing it down, ruffling his soft hair.

 “I was actually gonna ask you if you wanted to get an early dinner together, some friends from my college are meeting up. What would you like? Maybe ramen, ooo how about gimb—”

 “You can go without me, I’m not feeling too well…” you say trying to stop your voice from cracking.

 “You sure?” he asks again.

 “Yeah…” you say louder than you intended to speak.

 “O-Oh… ummm okay…” Yoongi says before you here the jingle of his car keys and the click of your front door. Yoongi wasn’t one to pressure people into doing things. He liked giving people space. As soon as he left, you let your tears flow. They were unstoppable. You were still wailing, as your form dropped to the ground, even though there weren’t enough tears to flow out.

 //

 It was 9 PM. Your eyes were puffy and your sinuses hurt from crying for the past 2 hours. Your head was throbbing and your empty bedroom was filled with the sounds of your sniffles. That was before there was a loud knock on your door.

 You slipped out of your bed, still dressed in your pajamas, as you made your way to the door. You peeped through the hole and saw Yoongi’s form leaning against the door frame. You opened the door and made sure to turn around immediately in a feeble attempt to hide your mess of a face.

 “Hey sorry to disturb I left my beanie here.” He said picking it up. His eyes narrowed as you walked back towards your bedroom. “You can close the door on the way out.” You say, failing to contain a crack in your voice.

 Yoongi notices and closes the door, with him still inside. “Y/N, seriously what’s wrong?” he asks.

 “Nothing, I just have a cold…” you sigh, your back facing him.

 You hear his consequent footsteps getting closer as his hand lands on your shoulder, whipping you around. His eyes widen, as he sees your puffy red eyes, and distraught face stained with dried tears.

 “A cold huh?” he says his eyebrows furrowed.

 “Yeah…” you say softly, sniffling.

 “What’s going on Y/N?” he says, his tone serious.

 “Why do you care? You’re my fuck buddy, not my counselor!”

 “I’m your friend, before any of that.” He says sternly, before he grabs your petite withering form in his strong arms for a tight hug. Your face collides with his firm chest and before you can overthink it, you wrap your arms around his waist, nuzzling your face closer into his warm neck. His hand threads through your hair as he whispers, “It’s okay I’m here…”

 //

 You woke up to the sound of a phone ringing off the hook. You were quick to realize that it wasn’t your ringtone. Your eyes fluttered open as you realized the position you had slept in. Your arm remained draped over Yoongi’s chest, and you were snuggled into the crook of his arm. You were leaning into him, while he had slept partially upright on your couch. Your legs were covered by a blanket, while Yoongi’s feet were propped up on the coffee table.

 It all came back to you. How you had cried onto his shoulder for the umpteenth time that night. How he had cuddled your shivering form and insisted to stay with you, afraid of leaving you alone. You carefully let go of his sleeping form, trying very hard not to wake him up. You reached over to see a phone call from an unknown number, and put his phone on silent. You checked to make sure he hadn’t woken up. You got up and pushed your hair into a neat ponytail. You blinked hard to get the remnant sleep out of your pupils, as you tried to decipher everything that happened yesterday. Yoongi had stayed over with you… why? It went against the rule you’d made in your agreement. You weren’t complaining though because you needed someone last night. And you were more than glad that it was Yoongi. You just didn’t take him to be the type to break the ‘cuddling’ rule.

 You cleared your mind of all these thoughts, brushed your teeth and took a much-needed shower. By the time you were out of the shower, in your work clothes, you found Yoongi awake, sitting upright on the couch, his head hung low, hands cupping the back of his neck. You slowly walked towards the back of the couch and laid your hands on his shoulders, your thumbs extending to press into the back of his neck. He visibly flinched, not expecting your presence, but soon relaxed under your touch.

 “I’m sorry, your neck must be hurting because of the uncomfortable position you slept in last night…” you say, with a guilt-ridden voice.

 “No it’s okay…” he hummed out.

 You make your way around the couch and sit next to him. Confrontation. It was the solution to every problem. “Seriously, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have forced you to stay last nigh—”

 “I stayed… because I wanted to stay.” He says, rubbing his eyes. “What’s the time?”

 “O-Oh… it’s 10 am.”

 “Don’t you have to leave for work in 10 minutes?”

 “We have to leave for work.” You say chuckling.

 “O-Oh… I was actually thinking of not coming in today… ya know… my back hurts and stuff…”

 You were suspicious of his stuttering but decided that you tortured him enough, and just let it slide. “Well I have to leave, you can take a shower if you want, you already know where it is, and please close the door when you leave, okay?” you say grabbing your purse and your coat.

 “Yeah sure… hey Y/N?” he says.

 You stop in front of the door.

 “Are you okay?” he says sincerely.

 “Yeah I am, thank you Yoongi…” you smile and leave for work.

 //

  While you were in your own little bubble, occupied at work, Yoongi, having showered and carefully locked up your apartment, was headed to a certain someone’s humble abode, on his day off. He stood before the wooden door, as he knocked, waiting for his doom residing on the other side of the door. The door opened to reveal a familiar female, long pink hair pulled into space buns, her lips chewing on a pencil.

 “Yoongi… didn’t expect to see you back here after a month… come in…”

 //

 “Actually I’m gonna make it quick” Yoongi says rubbing his palms together. “Where is Maria?”

 “Oh she actually had to turn up at work, they were understaffed today…” her pink-haired roommate said.

 “Oh okay thanks for your help.” He says leaving the doorstep, headed back to the restaurant. He walked in, and his eyes immediately searched for you. You were nowhere to be seen so he assumed that you were probably back in the kitchen. Then his eyes searched for a female with a short black bob, in uniform and spotted her at a table, close to the washroom. He walked up to her and tapped her shoulder.

 “Oh Yoongi, hey…” Maria said, surprised to see him.

 “Yeah hey, can we talk?”

 She smirked at his question, assuming that wanting to “talk” was code for a hook up. She latched onto his collar and pulled him discretely towards the washroom. Before Yoongi could protest she slammed him against the empty washroom walls.

 Yoongi never got to say, what he wanted to, what he had gone all the way to her apartment for. His mouth was clasped shut when Maria’s heavily-glossed lips landed on his own. He struggled to push her off, but before he could pry her off of him, he heard the sound of a toilet flushing, and a washroom stall door creaking open. He finally pushed Maria away and met your eyes, widened in shock.

 You stood there, horrified, as you watched Maria smirking at you, an eyebrow raised in a challenging manner. You looked over to see Yoongi panting, against the wall, his lips swollen and smeared with Maria’s red lipstick. You held your whimpers in, and merely walked, no more like rushed out of the humiliating scene.

 You walked out the back kitchen door and took in a deep breath. You calmed yourself down and did not allow any tears to flow. He was kissing her. So what? You were no one to decide who he kisses, much less sleeps with! You both had mutually decided upon staying anonymous about your personal affairs. Then why did it hurt? Why did it hurt to watch another woman lunge herself at that man? Why?

 Your thoughts were interrupted by Maya’s voice, “Hey ummm… the customers are starting to line up, we need your help.”

 “Yeah, I’ll be right there.” You respond facing away from her.

 “Okay…”

 //

 Back in the washroom Yoongi watched you leave, his mind in utter chaos. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Yoongi asks in frustration, turning to Maria.

 “You were the one who wanted to ‘talk’.” She says scoffing.

 “Yeah I wanted to ‘talk’, literally talk.”

 “Don’t lie to yourself Yoongi. We’re both hot and we both obviously have a lot of sexual tension between us. What would it take for you to let go off her puny ass for once and give us another try?”

 “I already told you! When I slept with you a month ago, it was a mistake! We were both shit drunk!”

 “What does she have that I don’t?”

 “She has some god damn respect and dignity. She doesn’t just throw herself at me, when I say no. No means no. At least she respects my decision.”

 “Jeez what happened to you Yoongles? You were never like this… like a lost puppy following around that bitch Y/N.”

 “Don’t you dare call me Yoongles.” He says, his tone dead serious. “And look in the mirror when you call Y/N that.”

 “You’re just as fucked up as she is.” She says scoffing.

 “Just stay away from me. I’m never gonna come back to you and sleep with you. Give up already and find someone else to latch onto.” With that Yoongi leaves the washroom and exits the restaurant, feeling an unhealthy amount of guilt in his heart.

 //

 When you got absorbed into work, you couldn’t care less about Yoongi’s absence. But your eyes did drift over to the young gentlemen who was playing in Yoongi’s place today, and everytime you looked over, your eyes would drop down in disappointment of the person that met your eyes. Maria pretended like nothing happened and you went along with it. Confronting her would lead nowhere sensible.

 Soon it was night time, well more like early morning time, and you were walking down the dark midnight streets, Jackie and Mark by your side. You had all decided to walk to a bar down the street and have a few drinks before turning in for the night. You needed to drown your misery in shots, and were more than happy to receive an invitation to accompany your friends.

 “Y/N?” Jackie spoke up.

 “Yeah?”

 “Please don’t be mad…”

 “Oh no, what did you do?”

 “I observed that you sorta looked sad today. And I wanted to cheer you up…”

 “Oh no…”

 “I’m afraid to say it, but yes… I kinda reached out to a good friend of Mark’s and set you up on a blind date for tomorrow night.” She finishes.

 “What?!” you exclaim.

 “I’m sorry okay, but I thought you needed to brighten up a bit…”

 “First of all what were you thinking, setting me up on a work night? It’s Tuesday tomorrow for Christ’s sake!”

 “It’s the only time he was free! He has a busy schedule okay?” Mark defends, looking up from his phone screen.

 “Ohh Mr. businessman is busy. I hate boring people, I’ll pass.” You say rolling your eyes.

 “He’s a model… wait for it… for Gucci.” Jackie says, eyes shining.

 “Keep talking…” you said, suddenly interested.

 “His name is Taehyung. Age 24, same as yours. Aspiring to become an actor. Currently a model for Gucci. Also… he’s a god damn work of art.” Jackie says.

 “I should be jealous, but I can’t lie, he’s too pretty to be human.” Mark says pitching in.

 “Hmm…” you quietly think to yourself.

 “Please, just try it out once? Get out there, have some fun!” Jackie pleads.

 “Why the fuck not? YOLO right?” you say chuckling, heading to the bar, to drown all your obsessive thoughts.

 //

 Unlike waking up to your neighbor’s baby screaming loud enough to summon Satan like always, you wake up to a throbbing in your forehead. Your eyes scan your surroundings and finally focus on the clock on your wall. 11 am! You had to be at work in 15 minutes. You ran around your apartment, your brush in your mouth, one hand through the sleeve of your white button down, the other searching your dresser for your hairbrush.

 You were at work. Even though you were 15 minutes late, and looked as though you had just survived a hurricane, you were still present, and that’s what mattered. Luckily, Mark had taken care of inventory for you, so that left you with enough time to polish yourself in the restaurant washroom before the doors opened for business. The washroom brought back unwanted memories from a day ago, but you ignored those, and focused on fixing yourself up, trying to make yourself presentable enough to match the class of the restaurant.

 //

 You were in your pajamas, happier than ever, watching a really good kdrama, ‘Its okay not to be okay’, definitely recommend 10 outta 10. Your work shift had ended early. You all had gotten a call from the owner and manager Kim Seokjin, that there was gonna be an extermination. You couldn’t be happier as you relaxed into the comfort of your couch. It hadn’t been 3 minutes into the new episode, when someone knocked on your door. You groaned in irritation.

 “Just as it was about to get good.” You huffed out and approached the door.

 You opened the door to a rather dim looking Yoongi. “Oh hi… ummm… wassup? Were the only words you could form.

 “Can we talk?” Yoongi asks rubbing the back of his neck.

 “Sure come in…” you say stepping back and closing the door behind him.

 “I’ll get straight to the point…” Yoongi sighs. “What you saw, it wasn’t what you think happened.”

 “What’re you talking about?” you asked chuckling nervously.

 “You know exactly what I’m talking about Y/N.”

 “Oh that… yeah right…”

 “Listen, I just want to clarify that yes I did sleep with Maria a month ago, back when we never used to talk, when we used to ignore each other 24/7. But I haven’t slept with her since. What you witnessed today was me telling her to back off, but she kissed me without my consent, and you happened to walk in at a bad time.”

 You let out a huge sigh and folded your arms. “And why’re you telling me this?”

 Yoongi’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion. To that, you poke again, “I don’t control who you sleep with or who you choose to date Yoongi. We had a deal. We don’t get involved in each other’s personal lives.”

 “Well I’m sorry if I seemed to be ‘involved in your personal life’ after we told each other something that I thought was personal to both of us.” He speaks out, in irritation.

 You looked down at your ring and remember how you had told him about your past. You remembered how you both had shared a moment, sitting at the piano, which reminded you of the fact that he had also shared his past with you. But you were scared, terrified even. You were scared to let someone close to your heart again, afraid of being left alone again. You were frightened that someone would finally get through the tough walls you’d put up around yourself, and steal your fragile heart, only to break it into a million pieces again. The pain was too much.

 “Well maybe we shouldn’t have shared that with each other!” you yell out without thinking twice.

 You heard nothing but silence on Yoongi’s end. It took a minute before he spoke up, “So you regret it huh?” his voice alarmingly calm.

 “I-I- I don’t know…” you say, unsure guilt settling in your heart.

 “Well that just about explains every fucking doubt I’ve been having about this relationship.”

 “That’s not wha—” you protest.

 “Save it.” He said sternly. “I made a mistake. I tried to get us to be friends. We should go back to our old ways. Just text each other when we’re needy, and ignore each other at all other times. Got it. If that’s what you want, then that’s what you’ll get.” He storms out of the apartment, slamming the door with a loud bang on the way out.

 You felt a tremendous guilt envelope your heart. You didn’t want things to go the way they did just now. He was never the issue. It was you. You were the coward who had commitment issues. And you didn’t want him to waste his time trying to get you to open up. This was the only way. You were never suited for love. It was always lust.

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