🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🦅💥‼️😎💥 @julius-cipher - Tumblr Blog

i also. like americ🇺🇸

EAGLE NOISES

i am canonically in america

WELCOME

AHEM- OH SWEET CHILD OF MINE!!

@julius-cipher

"GAH—

JESUS CHRIST— hi! hi, dad! uhm— what are you— whats up?"

HMM, I DUNNO.. I'M JUST KIND OF GETTING A FEELING THAT TODAY MIGHT BE IMPORTANT... HMMM...

I WONDER WHY!

"whuh—"

[....SHIT. FUCK. DAMN IT—]

"ahaahah— could you...uhm, give me a moment?—"

[he doesnt wait for an answer, and instead runs outside to the garage]

OF COURSE, MY ADORABLE SPAWN!

[a few moments later, HARVEY returns! with a box!]

"aahahaha— happy fathers daaaay!"

[he totally didnt forget. nope.]

HOORAYYY!! ALSO, BY THE WAY, ME AND FAWKES DECIDED THAT HE CAN HAVE MOTHERS DAY, AND I GET FATHERS DAY ALL TO MYSELF. IT'S AN CONVERSATION THAT I WON VERY FAIR AND VERY SQUARE!

[Ignoring the fact that you don't "win" conversations]

"oh...kay?"

[inside the box is a bomb. it hasnt been activated, but it is, indeed, a bomb.]

OH, A BOMB! MY FAVOURITE!

I'LL PUT THIS WITH THE NUKE AND MY MANY OTHER EXPLOSIVES!

"im glad you like it! sorry I didnt get it to you, sooner."

THAT'S FINE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! ANY BOMB'S A GOOD BOMB! EVEN IF IT'S A LITTLE DELAYED! IN FACT, THOSE ARE SOME OF THE BEST! THEY CATCH YOU OFF GUARD!

[HARVEY laughs]

"I suppose that's true!"

YOU GET IT! YOU'RE JUST LIKE YOUR OLD (BUT STILL KINDA YOUNG) MAN!

[HARVEY laughs at that. he'd hardly call him young, but.]

ANYWAY, I'LL GET THIS BOMB HOME WITH ME! BYE BYE!!

"bye, dad. love you!"

LOVE YOUUU!!

•18+ Adults Only

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AHEM- OH SWEET CHILD OF MINE!!

@julius-cipher

"GAH—

JESUS CHRIST— hi! hi, dad! uhm— what are you— whats up?"

HMM, I DUNNO.. I'M JUST KIND OF GETTING A FEELING THAT TODAY MIGHT BE IMPORTANT... HMMM...

I WONDER WHY!

"whuh—"

[....SHIT. FUCK. DAMN IT—]

"ahaahah— could you...uhm, give me a moment?—"

[he doesnt wait for an answer, and instead runs outside to the garage]

OF COURSE, MY ADORABLE SPAWN!

[a few moments later, HARVEY returns! with a box!]

"aahahaha— happy fathers daaaay!"

[he totally didnt forget. nope.]

HOORAYYY!! ALSO, BY THE WAY, ME AND FAWKES DECIDED THAT HE CAN HAVE MOTHERS DAY, AND I GET FATHERS DAY ALL TO MYSELF. IT'S AN CONVERSATION THAT I WON VERY FAIR AND VERY SQUARE!

[Ignoring the fact that you don't "win" conversations]

"oh...kay?"

[inside the box is a bomb. it hasnt been activated, but it is, indeed, a bomb.]

OH, A BOMB! MY FAVOURITE!

I'LL PUT THIS WITH THE NUKE AND MY MANY OTHER EXPLOSIVES!

"im glad you like it! sorry I didnt get it to you, sooner."

THAT'S FINE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! ANY BOMB'S A GOOD BOMB! EVEN IF IT'S A LITTLE DELAYED! IN FACT, THOSE ARE SOME OF THE BEST! THEY CATCH YOU OFF GUARD!

[HARVEY laughs]

"I suppose that's true!"

YOU GET IT! YOU'RE JUST LIKE YOUR OLD (BUT STILL KINDA YOUNG) MAN!

[HARVEY laughs at that. he'd hardly call him young, but.]

ANYWAY, I'LL GET THIS BOMB HOME WITH ME! BYE BYE!!

AHEM- OH SWEET CHILD OF MINE!!

@julius-cipher

"GAH—

JESUS CHRIST— hi! hi, dad! uhm— what are you— whats up?"

HMM, I DUNNO.. I'M JUST KIND OF GETTING A FEELING THAT TODAY MIGHT BE IMPORTANT... HMMM...

I WONDER WHY!

"whuh—"

[....SHIT. FUCK. DAMN IT—]

"ahaahah— could you...uhm, give me a moment?—"

[he doesnt wait for an answer, and instead runs outside to the garage]

OF COURSE, MY ADORABLE SPAWN!

[a few moments later, HARVEY returns! with a box!]

"aahahaha— happy fathers daaaay!"

[he totally didnt forget. nope.]

HOORAYYY!! ALSO, BY THE WAY, ME AND FAWKES DECIDED THAT HE CAN HAVE MOTHERS DAY, AND I GET FATHERS DAY ALL TO MYSELF. IT'S AN CONVERSATION THAT I WON VERY FAIR AND VERY SQUARE!

[Ignoring the fact that you don't "win" conversations]

"oh...kay?"

[inside the box is a bomb. it hasnt been activated, but it is, indeed, a bomb.]

OH, A BOMB! MY FAVOURITE!

I'LL PUT THIS WITH THE NUKE AND MY MANY OTHER EXPLOSIVES!

"im glad you like it! sorry I didnt get it to you, sooner."

THAT'S FINE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! ANY BOMB'S A GOOD BOMB! EVEN IF IT'S A LITTLE DELAYED! IN FACT, THOSE ARE SOME OF THE BEST! THEY CATCH YOU OFF GUARD!

[HARVEY laughs]

"I suppose that's true!"

YOU GET IT! YOU'RE JUST LIKE YOUR OLD (BUT STILL KINDA YOUNG) MAN!

AHEM- OH SWEET CHILD OF MINE!!

@julius-cipher

"GAH—

JESUS CHRIST— hi! hi, dad! uhm— what are you— whats up?"

HMM, I DUNNO.. I'M JUST KIND OF GETTING A FEELING THAT TODAY MIGHT BE IMPORTANT... HMMM...

I WONDER WHY!

"whuh—"

[....SHIT. FUCK. DAMN IT—]

"ahaahah— could you...uhm, give me a moment?—"

[he doesnt wait for an answer, and instead runs outside to the garage]

OF COURSE, MY ADORABLE SPAWN!

[a few moments later, HARVEY returns! with a box!]

"aahahaha— happy fathers daaaay!"

[he totally didnt forget. nope.]

HOORAYYY!! ALSO, BY THE WAY, ME AND FAWKES DECIDED THAT HE CAN HAVE MOTHERS DAY, AND I GET FATHERS DAY ALL TO MYSELF. IT'S AN CONVERSATION THAT I WON VERY FAIR AND VERY SQUARE!

[Ignoring the fact that you don't "win" conversations]

"oh...kay?"

[inside the box is a bomb. it hasnt been activated, but it is, indeed, a bomb.]

OH, A BOMB! MY FAVOURITE!

I'LL PUT THIS WITH THE NUKE AND MY MANY OTHER EXPLOSIVES!

"im glad you like it! sorry I didnt get it to you, sooner."

THAT'S FINE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! ANY BOMB'S A GOOD BOMB! EVEN IF IT'S A LITTLE DELAYED! IN FACT, THOSE ARE SOME OF THE BEST! THEY CATCH YOU OFF GUARD!

AHEM- OH SWEET CHILD OF MINE!!

@julius-cipher

"GAH—

JESUS CHRIST— hi! hi, dad! uhm— what are you— whats up?"

HMM, I DUNNO.. I'M JUST KIND OF GETTING A FEELING THAT TODAY MIGHT BE IMPORTANT... HMMM...

I WONDER WHY!

"whuh—"

[....SHIT. FUCK. DAMN IT—]

"ahaahah— could you...uhm, give me a moment?—"

[he doesnt wait for an answer, and instead runs outside to the garage]

OF COURSE, MY ADORABLE SPAWN!

[a few moments later, HARVEY returns! with a box!]

"aahahaha— happy fathers daaaay!"

[he totally didnt forget. nope.]

HOORAYYY!! ALSO, BY THE WAY, ME AND FAWKES DECIDED THAT HE CAN HAVE MOTHERS DAY, AND I GET FATHERS DAY ALL TO MYSELF. IT'S AN CONVERSATION THAT I WON VERY FAIR AND VERY SQUARE!

[Ignoring the fact that you don't "win" conversations]

"oh...kay?"

[inside the box is a bomb. it hasnt been activated, but it is, indeed, a bomb.]

OH, A BOMB! MY FAVOURITE!

I'LL PUT THIS WITH THE NUKE AND MY MANY OTHER EXPLOSIVES!

AHEM- OH SWEET CHILD OF MINE!!

@julius-cipher

"GAH—

JESUS CHRIST— hi! hi, dad! uhm— what are you— whats up?"

HMM, I DUNNO.. I'M JUST KIND OF GETTING A FEELING THAT TODAY MIGHT BE IMPORTANT... HMMM...

I WONDER WHY!

"whuh—"

[....SHIT. FUCK. DAMN IT—]

"ahaahah— could you...uhm, give me a moment?—"

[he doesnt wait for an answer, and instead runs outside to the garage]

OF COURSE, MY ADORABLE SPAWN!

[a few moments later, HARVEY returns! with a box!]

"aahahaha— happy fathers daaaay!"

[he totally didnt forget. nope.]

HOORAYYY!! ALSO, BY THE WAY, ME AND FAWKES DECIDED THAT HE CAN HAVE MOTHERS DAY, AND I GET FATHERS DAY ALL TO MYSELF. IT'S AN CONVERSATION THAT I WON VERY FAIR AND VERY SQUARE!

[Ignoring the fact that you don't "win" conversations]

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

AHEM- OH SWEET CHILD OF MINE!!

@julius-cipher

"GAH—

JESUS CHRIST— hi! hi, dad! uhm— what are you— whats up?"

HMM, I DUNNO.. I'M JUST KIND OF GETTING A FEELING THAT TODAY MIGHT BE IMPORTANT... HMMM...

I WONDER WHY!

"whuh—"

[....SHIT. FUCK. DAMN IT—]

"ahaahah— could you...uhm, give me a moment?—"

[he doesnt wait for an answer, and instead runs outside to the garage]

OF COURSE, MY ADORABLE SPAWN!

AHEM- OH SWEET CHILD OF MINE!!

@julius-cipher

"GAH—

JESUS CHRIST— hi! hi, dad! uhm— what are you— whats up?"

HMM, I DUNNO.. I'M JUST KIND OF GETTING A FEELING THAT TODAY MIGHT BE IMPORTANT... HMMM...

I WONDER WHY!

Hands you some illegal fireworks

Make sure to give the dog thang some ear plugs

[theyre gonna...put these away. for lllaterr.]

DID I HEAR THE WORDS "ILLEGAL FIREWORKS"???

YEAH

THEYRE MINE

aw man... :(

....I can give you, like, half, if you give me twenty bucks.

DEAL! I WILL GIVE YOU TWENTY BUCKS!

Hands you some illegal fireworks

Make sure to give the dog thang some ear plugs

[theyre gonna...put these away. for lllaterr.]

DID I HEAR THE WORDS "ILLEGAL FIREWORKS"???

YEAH

THEYRE MINE

aw man... :(

Hands you some illegal fireworks

Make sure to give the dog thang some ear plugs

[theyre gonna...put these away. for lllaterr.]

DID I HEAR THE WORDS "ILLEGAL FIREWORKS"???

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

MY SON, IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT YOU HAVE SEEN SOMETHING YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO!

@julius-cipher

"GAH— UH. YEAH?"

[is that a Fucking Corpse. Why Does He Have A Corpse. it doesnt look entirely human but where on earth did he acquire That Thing.]

THAT PICTURE WAS FOR FAWKES' EYE ONLY!!

"yeah— mhm, yeah, figured that. felt like I saw something private."

AT LEAST IT WAS ONE OF THE SAFE FOR WORK PICTURES.

I TOOK THOSE YEARS AGO, LONG BEFORE SETTLING DOWN TO BECOME YOUR FATHER!

BACK WHEN I WAS YOUNG AND DUMB!

[Now he's just dumb]

"you settled down?"

[he is so fucking glad he wasnt shown the other photos.]

YEAH!! I USED TO DO A LOT MORE. NOW I JUST... TAKE CARE OF THE NUKE AND ANNOY MY EX-HUSBAND.

NORMAL THINGS.

"ah...yes. very normal things."

[he nods, pushing the corpse he still has into the freezer.]

"im just glad i didnt see anything more than that. you absolutely rocked that dress, though."

AWWW, YOU'RE SO SWEET! I LOOK GOOD IN ANYTHING!

"damn right you do, father. amen and thusforth."

AND YOU BETTER TAKE AFTER ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH!

...

FAWKES IS THE BITCH PARENT IN THIS INSULT.

"one, I always look good, no matter what im wearing. how dare you ever doubt me father. im ashamed. and two...nevermind, im not gonna say anything about the bitch parent comment."

[he figures theyve said worse about eachother before♡]

[They definitely have]

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU, AND NEVER DOUBTED YOU!

"wouldve been very disappointed if you did!"

WELL I DIDN'T!

"good."

"so! how have things been on your end lately?"

THEY'VE BEEN ALRIGHT! I WENT TO A SAINT PATRICK'S DAY PARADE WITH FAWKES AND PADDY!

APPARENTLY FAWKES' OTHER EX WAS THERE, BUT HE WAS WITH SOME OTHER GUY, SO FAWKES WAS JUST PISSED OFF ALL DAY!

"paddy? dont think ive met paddy yyet...that sounds like a miserable day."

I DYED A RIVER GREEN!

ALSO, PADDY'S JUST SOME IRISH DRUNK WEIRDO WHO CALLS EVERYONE 'SEAN' FOR SOME REASON.

"OH! is— which river??"

"..mhmthatsweird."

[A h. yeah, no— he knows a sean. how can he not know the guy hes coparenting a CHILD with?? even if theyve..hardly met. that cant be a coincidence, right? not his business. nope.]

SOME DIRTY ONE IN ENGLAND. IT RAN RIGHT THROUGH LONDON, AND LOOKED REALLY BLEAK AND HORRIBLE!

"do you even know what the river was— nnevermind. good job. proud of you, dad."

THANK YOU, SON! I KILLED MANY LEECHES, BUT PRETTY MUCH NO FISH. I THINK ALL OF THE SHIT IN THE WATER KILLED ALL THE FISH ALREADY.

"atleast you had an eventful saint Patrick's Day. my baby pinched me cause I wasnt wearing green, and I vaguely remember some..I dont even know what it was, but it was staring at me through every window I passed by until the day ended."

[leprecorn strikes again]

YOU DIDN'T WEAR GREEN?! EVEN I WORE GREEN! AND I USUALLY ONLY EVER LIKE TO WEAR GOOD OLD RED WHITE AND BLUE!!

"all my green clothes were dirty! and I didnt even know my baby could pinch people!"

I'M SURPRISED YOU DIDN'T GET MUGGED! I KNOW PADDY MUGS PEOPLE WHO AREN'T WEARING GREEN ON ST PATRICK'S DAY, SO I ASSUMED ALL IRISH PEOPLE DID!

ALSO, DID YOU KNOW THAT NOT ALL IRISH PEOPLE ARE PALE AND GINGER AND DRESSED LIKE THE GUY ON THE LUCKY CHARMS BOXES? BECAUSE I FOUND THAT OUT!

"I couldve gotten what."

[oh! thats. o h.]

"why did you think they were all ginger??"

PADDY IS GINGER!

"..."

[oh my god, julius.]

"..have you ever seen jacksepticeye."

HE'S A GREAT YOUTUBER, BUT WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?

"hes Irish. and not ginger."

HE'S IRISH??

"yes!"

WOW, I LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY!

"how did you not know he was irish?"

I THOUGHT HE WAS AMERICAN!

"as an american; that man is in no way american. the accent gives it away."

I'M BAD WITH ACCENTS.

"ah."

[there, there, julius. there, there.]

"its alright, dad. its alright."

[he pats his shoulder.]

SON, I HAVE FAILED MY GREAT NATION BY ALLOWING AN OUTSIDER TO CLOUD MY VISION. I NEED TO PRAY UPON THE STARS AND STRIPES AND RECITE THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE.

"Im sure that isnt needed!"

IT IS! THAT IS THE WAY, MY SON!

[yeah, harvey. its the way.]

[HARVEY just gives him a thumbs up. yeah. sure. why not.]

BYE! DON'T DO ANYTHING I WOULDN'T DO!

MY SON, IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT YOU HAVE SEEN SOMETHING YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO!

@julius-cipher

"GAH— UH. YEAH?"

[is that a Fucking Corpse. Why Does He Have A Corpse. it doesnt look entirely human but where on earth did he acquire That Thing.]

THAT PICTURE WAS FOR FAWKES' EYE ONLY!!

"yeah— mhm, yeah, figured that. felt like I saw something private."

AT LEAST IT WAS ONE OF THE SAFE FOR WORK PICTURES.

I TOOK THOSE YEARS AGO, LONG BEFORE SETTLING DOWN TO BECOME YOUR FATHER!

BACK WHEN I WAS YOUNG AND DUMB!

[Now he's just dumb]

"you settled down?"

[he is so fucking glad he wasnt shown the other photos.]

YEAH!! I USED TO DO A LOT MORE. NOW I JUST... TAKE CARE OF THE NUKE AND ANNOY MY EX-HUSBAND.

NORMAL THINGS.

"ah...yes. very normal things."

[he nods, pushing the corpse he still has into the freezer.]

"im just glad i didnt see anything more than that. you absolutely rocked that dress, though."

AWWW, YOU'RE SO SWEET! I LOOK GOOD IN ANYTHING!

"damn right you do, father. amen and thusforth."

AND YOU BETTER TAKE AFTER ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH!

...

FAWKES IS THE BITCH PARENT IN THIS INSULT.

"one, I always look good, no matter what im wearing. how dare you ever doubt me father. im ashamed. and two...nevermind, im not gonna say anything about the bitch parent comment."

[he figures theyve said worse about eachother before♡]

[They definitely have]

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU, AND NEVER DOUBTED YOU!

"wouldve been very disappointed if you did!"

WELL I DIDN'T!

"good."

"so! how have things been on your end lately?"

THEY'VE BEEN ALRIGHT! I WENT TO A SAINT PATRICK'S DAY PARADE WITH FAWKES AND PADDY!

APPARENTLY FAWKES' OTHER EX WAS THERE, BUT HE WAS WITH SOME OTHER GUY, SO FAWKES WAS JUST PISSED OFF ALL DAY!

"paddy? dont think ive met paddy yyet...that sounds like a miserable day."

I DYED A RIVER GREEN!

ALSO, PADDY'S JUST SOME IRISH DRUNK WEIRDO WHO CALLS EVERYONE 'SEAN' FOR SOME REASON.

"OH! is— which river??"

"..mhmthatsweird."

[A h. yeah, no— he knows a sean. how can he not know the guy hes coparenting a CHILD with?? even if theyve..hardly met. that cant be a coincidence, right? not his business. nope.]

SOME DIRTY ONE IN ENGLAND. IT RAN RIGHT THROUGH LONDON, AND LOOKED REALLY BLEAK AND HORRIBLE!

"do you even know what the river was— nnevermind. good job. proud of you, dad."

THANK YOU, SON! I KILLED MANY LEECHES, BUT PRETTY MUCH NO FISH. I THINK ALL OF THE SHIT IN THE WATER KILLED ALL THE FISH ALREADY.

[leprecorn strikes again]

YOU DIDN'T WEAR GREEN?! EVEN I WORE GREEN! AND I USUALLY ONLY EVER LIKE TO WEAR GOOD OLD RED WHITE AND BLUE!!

"all my green clothes were dirty! and I didnt even know my baby could pinch people!"

I'M SURPRISED YOU DIDN'T GET MUGGED! I KNOW PADDY MUGS PEOPLE WHO AREN'T WEARING GREEN ON ST PATRICK'S DAY, SO I ASSUMED ALL IRISH PEOPLE DID!

ALSO, DID YOU KNOW THAT NOT ALL IRISH PEOPLE ARE PALE AND GINGER AND DRESSED LIKE THE GUY ON THE LUCKY CHARMS BOXES? BECAUSE I FOUND THAT OUT!

"I couldve gotten what."

[oh! thats. o h.]

"why did you think they were all ginger??"

PADDY IS GINGER!

"..."

[oh my god, julius.]

"..have you ever seen jacksepticeye."

HE'S A GREAT YOUTUBER, BUT WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?

"hes Irish. and not ginger."

HE'S IRISH??

"yes!"

WOW, I LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY!

"how did you not know he was irish?"

I THOUGHT HE WAS AMERICAN!

"as an american; that man is in no way american. the accent gives it away."

I'M BAD WITH ACCENTS.

"ah."

[there, there, julius. there, there.]

"its alright, dad. its alright."

[he pats his shoulder.]

SON, I HAVE FAILED MY GREAT NATION BY ALLOWING AN OUTSIDER TO CLOUD MY VISION. I NEED TO PRAY UPON THE STARS AND STRIPES AND RECITE THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE.

"Im sure that isnt needed!"

IT IS! THAT IS THE WAY, MY SON!