Let's talk about death, baby.

@juliewinters “happy” thanksgiving, never forget

Also, one of my very favorite things about my job is that the only clothing decision I need to make each day is what color uniform to wear.

Нельзя так просто взять, и не сделать *boop* по розовому носику

Happy Catutrday, and hi, Ernie Bushmiller! This week, we’re following @thatsbelievable because we missed #FollowFriday. Have a great weekend!

Groovy yellow garden eels in the Yawkey Coral Reef Center

Some aliens came to my house. They had dubious intentions and seemed aggressive. But thank to the Virgin of Guadalupe I started to play my guitar, and the aliens got very happy with the music. Instead of attacking me, they started dancing and even gave me a cube before leaving. I don’t know how to use it but it’s very nice. I thank for they didn’t attack me.

Вообще, я специалист по недвижимости

Fisherman: Friend, what do you want? [weasel sniffs at a closed bucket with fish] Hungry for some fish, aren’t you? Maybe I should give you a fishing pole? Eager beaver. Let me open it. [weasel is busy digging under the bucket. fisherman gently pokes it] Hey, there is a lid up here. Come on, pick any you want. [weasel grabs a fish and runs away] Hey, no “thank you”? Well, you’re welcome. 

Когда человек снова притащил домой какую-то неведомую хрень

My restaurant is always full because I am, in all modesty, a great cook. But when I close my place at night, here come my favorite clients—stray cats from the neighborhood. I give them milk and feed them with the leftovers. I thank Saint Francis because during the day I earn money and get praised for my dishes and during the night I receive gratitude and caress.

My poor cat had a bad luck to be a black one. Being rejected by the people he had developed shyness and had become very insecure—with the female cats as well. Lately he fell in love and completely lost his head over the kitty of our new neighbor. It was painful to see how insecure he was trying to conquer her. I thank the Virgin of Zapopan because the kitty responded to him and now they are a happy couple.

😼