attention college freshmen/anyone feeding themselves for the first time
this is for you
it has come to my attention that some people are not feeding themselves properly bc they donât know how to cook/arenât sure how to cook on a budget. bc i am everyoneâs mom (or at least everyoneâs wise older sister) let me drop some very real Broke Rookie Cooking Knowledge. 2 of my favorite recipes are under the cut, both of which come out to $2 OR LESS PER SERVING.
-MAKE a MENU. pick out like 5 things you know how to make and buy JUST WHAT YOU NEED FOR THOSE THINGS. and also a few snacks, but otherwise, JUST THAT. donât just buy some random-ass groceries you think youâll need. (also, if you donât know how to make 5 things, seriously just google simple dinner recipes. i used a âmississippi heirloom cookbookâ my aunt gave me and got a ton of good ones.)
-tbh i donât even buy snacks except for a giant box of cookies that lasts me like 2 weeks at a time and an assload of apples. snacking is bad for you, and if you donât HAVE snacks, you canât EAT snacks. fuck snacks.
-off-brand EVERYTHING. you think you can taste a difference? you CANâT. get shit in cans. vegetables. pasta sauce. salsa. whatthefuckever. it all comes in cans, and itâs always cheaper. i have no idea why.
-whole grain bread and brown rice/pasta are not more expensive than the regular kind, and they keep you full longer. GET THEM.
-@ my americans, Dollar Tree has literally everything. every kitchen utensil. (itâs where i got my big-ass chefâs knife, and that bitch is still sharp.) dishes/cups. snacks. drinks. literal loaves of bread. all kinds of basics, from peanut butter to sriracha to progresso soup. some even have freezer sections. all for ONE DOLLAR. go to Dollar Tree first, then go to the grocery store for whatever you couldnât find there. i s2g it saves me so much money. (they also have tupperware, cleaning supplies, toilet paper, EVERYTHING. for one dollar.)
-produce is way cheaper than you think. get some fresh vegetables. you really will start to feel like a bag of hot garbage if you donât eat your veggies.
-COOK in ADVANCE. i work during the day and go to school in the evenings, then i come home and work out. lemme tell you, my ass does NOT wanna cook when im done with all that. cook shit in big quantities, stock up on tupperware (dollar treeeeee), and stick it in the fridge for later. when youâre exhausted and remember you have instant dinner already made, you will want to kiss yourself.
-find some sandwiches you love. make a lot of sandwiches. (pls for the love of God dont use kraft american singles tho. deli-sliced cheese is literally right next to it, and it is NOT more expensive.)`
-FUCK organic free-range shit. you got organic free-range money? GREAT. i sure as hell donât, and neither do most people. donât waste your money trying to live your foodstagram #goals while youâre young and poor.
-if you qualify for SNAP/EBT, GET THAT SHIT. there are some assholes out there that will tell you not to, to leave it for the ~real~ poor people. tell them, âmotherfucker I AM REAL POOR.â for real though, corporations take advantage of any assistance the government gives them and they still lobby for more. youâd be a fool not to do the same.Â
now some cheap-ass recipes
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