The Next Step

One of the many great things about travelling is meeting new people. These people may be in your own country, may speak a foreign language or even be in a different country and speak the same language. There is always a way of finding a connection if you want to.

The great thing about chatting with new people is that you get to hear their colloquial phrases. Those tag lines that become embedded in our everyday. It’s only when someone new hears them, discovers their quirkiness that you can realise the uncommonality of your common words.

We were sat celebrating a friend of a friends birthday. I’d met him and his wife 3 days ago and although we speak the same language…we don’t.

He’d spent the day fishing, reading, chilling and ending it with ‘great food and great company’ He was happy he said. Then we surprised him with some Cookie Monster cupcakes, candles and of course a song.

He smiled from ear to ear. Blew out his candles and said a phrase that was common for him and brand new for me! It got me thinking about how there are various levels of happiness and only you can decide how happy you are as only you have your guidance/rules about happiness.

One of my happiness scales is measured in the phrase - “that I am as happy as Larry” I’ve no idea which Larry it refers too. But it’s a common phrase for me. For the birthday boy, his day had been perfect. His scale for happiness was shared…

"I’m so happy, if I had a tail I’d wag it!"

I love it!

"Sticks and stones will break my bones but words/names will never hurt me."

I suspect that you heard that phrase when growing up. Said by a well meaning adult when someone had said something mean or unkind. As well meaning as the phrase was, for myself and those I have asked it isn’t true, as the words always seem to linger longer than the physical action. (bones broken or not!)

It was not until coaching training began that I began to understand the power of words. The real impact language has. Not just on ourselves, but others too.

There are a few ‘offenders’ whether said directly to me or not that make me twitch.

SHOULD - for what reason? by whose rules? How do you feel when you hear or say that word?

TRY - no be honest. You are either doing it, not doing it or scoring points in rugby.

There is another word that is not usually on my hit list for twitching. I began to notice it in coaching sessions with clients who were struggling to believe in themselves. Didn’t have faith in their abilities or confidence is themselves. And yet they are in senior roles. But it seemed to raise it’s head even more in the last few weeks as my American adventure loomed closer.

Two weeks into the journey I am hearing it more and it isn’t just me that has experienced it. My travel companion for the first part of the trip has also encountered this offensive five letter word.

I am sure it is meant with well meaning but let’s be honest, neither she or I are ‘LUCKY’ to be doing this trip.

Fortunate - maybe. Lucky - no! And here’s why.

We have both worked hard to get to this place in corporate and business life. Personally we have faced family and friends deaths, personal health challenges and marriage break downs. Would you call that lucky?

Luck to me is perfectly described by Oprah Winfrey..

"Luck is where preparedness meets opportunity"

The two of us have worked to face our ‘failings’, ‘mistakes’ and built on them. We have prepared ourselves, (well as much as is possible) for this trip and when the opportunity arose, even though we may have felt scared, uncertain, unsure, unworthy, undeserving or whatever other ‘un’ popped up that day, we have taken the opportunity.

We are fortunate, maybe. Well we had no say in where we were born and to what connections that may have given us. But from teenage years onwards the effort of getting prepared starts. That’s when you can, if you choose to, be open to opportunities. Then choose whether to take them or not.

It's not just about the not knowing, it's about letting go of wanting to control how things are and force them to be how I want them to be.