hello, i'm ray! • blk • she/her • ISFP • i will try to upload when i can • i only post on tumblr.
bias'/bias line - hyunjin, lee know, felix (stray kids) | heeseung, ni-ki, jake (enhypen) | ej, fuma, taki (&team) | yunho and hongjoong (ateez) | james (cortis) | yeonjun and soobin (tomorrow x together) | haruto (treasure) | theo (p1harmony) | riwoo and sungho (boynextdoor) | + many more
ult bias' - lee know and ni-ki
who i write for (as of right now)
• enhypen (ot7)
masterlist
• stray kids
masterlist (coming soon)
• &team
masterlist (coming soon)
• tomorrow x together
masterlist (coming soon)
• cortis
masterlist (coming soon)
• ateez
masterlist (coming soon)
what i write -
• fluff
• hurt/comfort
• hurt/no comfort
-
• afab
18+ below!
• smut (sub!idol enthusiast! and im kinda freaked out)
YES- dom/sub dynamics, pegging, cum play/eating, food play, anal, somno, overstimulation, edging, threesomes including mxm (don't like it, don't read it) (will update, im drawing blanks rn)
NO- poop (ts is frying me😭), throw up, race play, age play, incest...
uhm will actively be updating so this is not the final product, but i'm down for a lot of things.
DISCLAIMER: I do not tolerate any racist, homophobic, or really any disgusting behavior. you WILL be blocked.
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warnings! - kissing, reverse dry humping(!?), masturbation (m!rec), choking, nipple play, begging, crying, handjob, noona kink (used like twice), cum eating/cum play, spitting. friends to lovers
wc- 1.3K
a/n: this has just been sitting in the drafts. hope you enjoy! NOT PROOFREAD
*knock* *knock* *knock*
"coming!" you yelled from your living room as you make your way to the front door. you weren't expecting any type of delivery, let alone a guest. after arriving to the door, you look through the peephole to see jungwon, your best friend, standing there looking down at his feet.
"oh jungwon! " you greeted as you opened the door, jungwon then looking up at the sound of your voice. "come on in. i wasn't expecting guests... so please excuse the mess." you say while opening the door wider, inviting him in. jungwon smiling as he walks past you.
there wasn't really a mess, just a few random items that you used throughout the day just laying around. after locking the door, you walk towards the living room where jungwon was standing.
"i know it's late but i wanted to ask you something." jungwon said, bringing his hands together in a bashful manner. suddenly shy by the attention that he's receiving from you.
"go ahead, i'm listening." you replied while walking to the couch to sit down. jungwon sitting right next to you, eyes fixed on his lap. "can you to teach me how to properly kiss?" he asked in a voice quiet enough to be a whisper.
silence.
with blush running up his neck and his heart beating at impossible speeds, the lack of response was definitely not helping him at all. he squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head; this was no doubt the most awkward moment of his life. "you obviously don't have to! i don't know... i just-" he was interrupted by a hand guiding his face back and pair of lips meeting his. it was just a quick peck.
jungwon's eyes opened slowly to meet yours, his mouth slightly open but no words leaving. "i'll teach you, okay? just chill." you muttered out, looking at his lips. he nodded quickly.
you've always thought he was attractive. him being your best friend and all, you thought you'd never get the chance to have him like this. little did you know, he feels the exact same.
"close your eyes and try to follow my lead. mkay?" your lips met his again, this time it was slower. jungwon whimpered softly as he clumsily kissed back. you decided to pull back just a bit, his lips chasing yours just as quick as they left. not wanting you to stop, he then moved to straddle you.
with jungwons legs on both sides of you, you obviously had no other choice but to grip his hips. you licked his bottom lip to get him to open up. when he complied, you push your tongue into his mouth, causing him to moan. you swallowed all of his noises.
after a while, you pulled away again to catch your breath, strings of saliva connecting you both. like earlier jungwon whined and tried to chase, but you gently pushed him back. "y/n- please-" you looked up at him. his eyes were blown out, breathing heavily, spit all over his mouth, and rocking a hard-on. he looked so fucking edible.
"wonnie.. just breathe for a second. i'm not going anywhere." you panted out, rubbing your hands up and down his sides. once you've gathered some breaths you guys went back in. jungwon bringing his arms up to wrap around your neck, deepening the kiss.
he started to roll his hips against you to bring some sort of friction to his boner. your grip on him ended up guiding his hips to find a steady rhythm. "mmph" his eyebrows furrowed, he was barely kissing back anymore. "hah- f-fuck" he threw his head back, still grinding on you. to anyone, this would've looked like he was riding you. maybe next time?
you forced him to a stop. "w-wait no- more please!" he begged. when he tried to move again, you kept him still. his eyes getting glossy by the second. "no more? i thought you liked it wonnie." you tease while biting back a smile. "n-no! it felt sosososo good, touch me p-please.. im begging!" he cried out.
you pretended to think about it, even bringing your pointer finger up to your chin to really seal the deal. tears were falling at this point. "that's what you want? for me to touch you?" he nodded so fast, you wouldve thought he went lightheaded. "on one condition" you smiled. "anything! i-i'll do anything!" he choked out.
"touch yourself for me."
you watched as he briefly got up to take his pants off and straddling your lap once again. once seated, he shakily got his cock out his underwear, smacking against his belly. it was an angry red color at the tip and leaking precum like a faucet. he wasn't exactly big, but he definitely wasn't small. your gaze making him feel weaker than he already is.
"fuck..." was all you said, there was too many things you wanted to say, yet, none of it came out. jungwon literally looked like a wet dream. without saying much, you helped him out his shirt and tossing it somewhere. then bringing your hands to his waist to keep him stable.
you then blow air onto his tip, causing jungwon to hiss. "you can start now baby" you cooed. he wrapped a hand around his length with a moan. slowly stroking up and down, being sure to squeeze a bit when he got to the head. "mmmmh" he mewled out, lost in pleasure. eyes rolling back as a result.
jungwon shivers when he feels your hands creep up his tummy to his chest. gasping when your fingers lightly touched his nipples. his reaction only encouraging you to play with them. taking your pointer finger and thumb of your right hand, you pinch and pull at his left bud.
"hah..m-more please.." he asked so nicely, so who are you to deny him? you took your other hand and slowly brought it up to his throat. squeezing just enough to feel good, but not enough to hurt him. "f-fffuckkk nngh" his eyebrows furrowed in pleasure, speeding up the strokes of his shaft. he seemed to like that.
"h-harder please harder!" he begged. you obliged, squeezing his neck a little tighter. "so greedy, wonnie." you smirked. at some point he started to roll his hips to meet his fist, ultimately speeding up. "im ssso close noona-" he cut himself off with a loud moan. you'd be lying if you said you were shocked that he called you noona, he seemed like he was that kind of guy. but that doesn't mean you don't like it, you may like it a little too much.
you took your right hand and replaced his own, working on his pending orgasm. he nearly screamed out, you hand feeling way better than his. "feels so guh-good noona" he cried out, drool escaping his mouth. you sped up your hand. the sounds his moans and the squelches of his cock, caused by the ridiculous amount of precum he's leaking, fill the otherwise quiet room. "yeah? you getting close, baby? gon' make a mess f'me?" you say as you squeeze both his throat and length harder. he nodded, mouth agape.
"'m gonna- 'm cu-cumming!" he barely got out before spilling into your hand. you let go of his throat but continued to jerk him off so he can ride out his high, until his hips twitched in overstimulation. as he catching a breath, you take your cleaner hand to grab his face and force him to look at you.
without breaking eye contact, you suck the cum off your hand, leaving no drop behind. jungwon moaning at the sight. you then bring his lips to yours and slowly spit the semen right into his mouth. "swallow f'me." and he did, enjoying the mixed taste of your spit and his release.
after all of that he collapsed against you, exhaustion hitting him almost immediately. "i love you" he slurred out against you, as he's dozing off to sleep. you chuckled, leaving kisses on the top of his head and rubbing shapes on his lower back. "i love you too" you expressed lightly, hearing light snores coming from him. you soon following him into dreamland.
.lılılı.ıllı individual!stray kids (hyung line) x reader ▹
،، genre ﹆ smau | angst/no comfort includes ﹆ hyung line | mentions of death | mentions of nausea/sickness | grieving | inspired by that one trend circulating around a few weeks ago ﹕ ﹒ ⌕
⊹ ⌁ ˖ a/n ﹆ so this is my first smau and i am going to be so fr i have no idea how to make these but thank you to @/kloversung for recommending me postfully~~~!!
please do not translate or repost my works without credit to here or any other website! this work is not based off real-life events and is purely fictional. (this blog does not use ai and is an ai-free zone, so please do not feed anything here to ai, much appreciated!) ୧
Red Panda hybrid! Koga Yudai (K) x human! female reader
Wordcount ≈ 19.3k
Warnings: hybrid trafficking, abuse, captivity, forced fighting, injury, blood, references to neglect/abandonment, angst, I think that’s it.
Taglist: @voucearse
Thank you so much for the request! I hope you’ll enjoy it! I decided to make K a red panda in this one, and then for the hybrid series, he’ll be something else! He’s just so dramatic and cute, and so he’s perfect as a red panda! I’m also sorry that it took so long to write this one! But I’ve been so focused on the werewolf series and everything that this ended up being pushed to the back of my mind for a while.
Please reblog, like, and comment if you enjoyed this!
(Y/n) took a slow, steady breath as she smoothed the fabric of her dress over her hips, the rich wine-red catching the soft light of the room. The material felt heavier than what she was used to wearing on missions, less practical, more… exposed. On the other side of the curtain, Nicholas kept talking, his voice low but constant, like he was trying to anchor himself as much as her. “Entry is at 7,” he said, pacing by the sound of it. “We stick together and get a read on the layout. Reports say the hybrids are part of the second act. That gives us time to scope exits, security, and any holding areas backstage.” (Y/n) closed her eyes for a second, letting his words settle. “And if we confirm a sale?” she asked, pulling the curtain aside as she stepped out. Nicholas turned toward her mid-sentence, then stopped. For a moment, he just stared. “Right,” he said, clearing his throat quickly, though his ears had gone slightly pink. “If we confirm a sale, we signal it in. Code amber first, then escalate if needed. We do not engage unless we have backup.”
(Y/n) raised an eyebrow, a faint smirk tugging at her lips. “You forgot the part where you tell me not to start a fight.” “You always start the fight despite my warnings not to,” he shot back, though there was no real bite to it. “Only when you’re too slow,” she said lightly, stepping closer. Now that she was in front of him, she noticed the slight crookedness of his tie. It sat just off-center, like it had been adjusted one too many times. “Nicholas,” she sighed, reaching up. “Hold still.” “I can fix it,” he muttered, though he didn’t move. “Clearly.” Her fingers worked carefully, straightening the knot, smoothing it down with a practiced ease. Up close, she could see the tension in his jaw, the way his shoulders were just a little too stiff. “You hate this,” she said quietly. “I hate pretending we belong somewhere like this,” he replied. His eyes flicked to hers. “People sipping champagne while others are being sold ten feet away.”
(Y/n) finished adjusting the tie and gave it a small, satisfied pat. “That’s why we’re here.” He exhaled, some of the tension easing out of him. “Yeah. I know.” For a brief second, neither of them moved. The noise of the city outside filtered faintly through the windows, distant and indifferent. Then she stepped back, giving him a once-over. “You clean up well,” she said. He huffed a quiet laugh. “Don’t get used to it.” “No promises.” Nicholas straightened his jacket, rolling his shoulders like he was settling into a different version of himself. “You ready?” (Y/n) glanced at her reflection, at the woman in the mirror who looked like she belonged at a high-end gala instead of an undercover operation. Then she looked back at him, her expression sharpening just slightly. “Always,” she said.
The moment they stepped inside, the air changed. Warm light spilled from crystal chandeliers, catching on polished marble floors and glittering glass. The place smelled faintly of citrus and expensive perfume, layered over something harder to place, something just slightly off if you paid attention long enough. Guests moved in slow, deliberate currents, laughter soft and controlled, every gesture measured. (Y/n) slipped her arm through Nicholas’s as if it belonged there. “Remember,” she murmured under her breath, her lips barely moving, “you’re insufferable.” Nicholas gave a quiet hum of agreement. “I thought that was just my natural state.” She fought the urge to smile.
They approached the bar, where Nicholas ordered drinks without even glancing at the menu. The bartender nodded immediately, like he recognized the type. Moments later, two glasses were placed in front of them, simple soda with lime, dressed up like something far more extravagant. Nicholas took a slow sip, then made a faintly unimpressed face. “Too sweet, they never get these things right,” he said just loud enough for the couple beside them to hear. (Y/n) followed his lead, glancing around the room with thinly veiled disinterest. Anyone who passed a little too close got a fleeting look of mild annoyance, as if their presence alone was an inconvenience.
Time stretched. Conversations drifted in and out around them. Laughter, footsteps, the clink of glass. Then, finally, a shift. A man approached after observing them for a while. Middle-aged, well-dressed, the kind of person who blended in until he chose not to. His smile was polite, but his eyes were sharp, assessing. “Good evening,” he greeted smoothly. Nicholas didn’t even look at him at first. He let a beat pass, then another, before exhaling softly through his nose like the interruption itself was exhausting. Only then did he turn slightly toward (Y/n), his tone dripping with casual dismissal.
“Darling,” he said, “shouldn’t we be moving along? The performance is about to begin, and I would hate for you to miss it.” (Y/n) tilted her head just enough, as if the thought had only just occurred to her. “Oh, yes,” she replied, her voice light and airy. “I’ve been looking forward to this all evening.” They began to turn away. The man’s smile didn’t falter. If anything, it sharpened. “Well,” he said, almost amused, “if the lady is so interested… perhaps we could invite you both to something a bit more… exclusive after the main performance.” That made them pause. Slowly, they turned back. “A closer look at the performers,” he added, lowering his voice just enough to suggest secrecy without losing clarity.
For a fraction of a second, something flickered in Nicholas’s expression. Interest, carefully measured. He glanced at (Y/n), leaning in as if to whisper, though his voice carried just enough. “What do you say, dear?” (Y/n) let the silence linger, as if weighing something trivial rather than dangerous. Her fingers traced lightly along the rim of her glass before she finally looked at the man again, a small, pleased smile forming. “We’d love to.” The man’s grin turned unmistakably wicked, satisfaction slipping through the cracks of his polished demeanor. From inside his jacket, he produced a small, elegant flyer, darker than the others scattered around the venue, embossed with subtle gold lettering. He held it out. “Consider this your invitation,” he said.
Nicholas took it between two fingers, barely glancing at it before slipping it into his pocket like it meant nothing. “Charming,” he replied. The man gave a slight nod, then stepped back into the crowd as smoothly as he had appeared, disappearing among silk dresses and tailored suits. For a moment, neither of them spoke. Then, quietly, (Y/n) exhaled. “Well. That was easy.” Nicholas’s gaze tracked the direction the man had gone, his expression sharpening beneath the mask. “Too easy.” (Y/n) tilted her head, her voice dropping just enough to lose the snob’s lilt. “You think it’s a test?” “I think,” he said, adjusting his cuff as if nothing had changed, “we just got exactly what we came for.”
He glanced at her, something steadier in his eyes now. “Which usually means it’s about to get worse.” (Y/n)’s smile didn’t fade. “And to think,” she said softly. “I was starting to get bored.” They found their seats among rows of velvet and gold, the kind of arrangement meant to make every guest feel important. From here, the entire ring was visible, bathed in warm light that felt almost too bright, like it was trying to distract from something lurking just out of sight.
(Y/n) adjusted the fall of her dress as she sat, her posture effortless, composed. Beneath that calm, her fingers moved quickly over her phone, shielded by the table and her body. Got invite. Possible access after main act. Delay expected. Stay ready, await the signal. She hit send and slipped the phone away just as the lights began to dim. A hush fell over the crowd. Then a spotlight snapped on.
The man from before stood at the center of the ring, transformed. Gone was the polished guest. In his place stood a showman, dressed in deep reds and golds, his posture grand, his smile wider, theatrical. Nicholas leaned just slightly toward her. “Subtle,” he muttered. (Y/n) didn’t take her eyes off the ring. “I hate him already.” The man spread his arms, voice booming as he welcomed the audience. Applause followed, eager and polished, as if everyone already knew their role in the performance. At first, it was exactly what it claimed to be. Trapeze artists swung high above, their movements precise and effortless. A pair of clowns stumbled through exaggerated routines that earned polite laughter. A man in a tailored coat guided a group of horses through elegant patterns, the animals stepping in perfect rhythm as they leapt over low bars.
(Y/n) let her gaze drift, scanning exits, counting guards, noting the subtle ways certain staff watched the audience instead of the performers. “Too many on the east side,” she murmured. Nicholas gave a faint nod. “And the doors behind the ring are reinforced. Not for show.” Everything about it felt staged, not just the acts, but the normalcy itself. Like a mask pulled too tight. Then the shift came. The lights dimmed again, slower this time. The music changed, losing its playful tone, sinking into something heavier. The ringmaster stepped forward once more, his grin stretching wider.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” he called, his voice rich with anticipation, “you have seen talent. You have seen beauty.” He paused, letting the silence build. “But now… you will witness something far more rare.” (Y/n)’s stomach tightened. “Monsters,” he said. A murmur rippled through the crowd. Not fear. Excitement. Cages were rolled out into the ring. Metal scraped against the floor, the sound harsh and real against the polished performance. Inside the first cage, small hands gripped the bars. (Y/n)’s breath caught.
A bunny hybrid. Small. Too small. Her ears trembled, pressed tight against her head as she shrank back into the corner. Her wide eyes darted across the crowd, searching for something, anything. “Jesus…” Nicholas whispered under his breath. (Y/n)’s fingers curled tightly against her palm, nails biting into skin. “Stay focused,” he added quietly, though his own voice had lost some of its steadiness. Another cage was dragged out. This one shook. When the door opened, the lion hybrid stumbled forward, catching himself with a low, unsteady growl. He was larger, powerful even in his weakened state, but it was impossible to miss how thin he was. His ribs showed sharply beneath his skin, his movements just slightly off, like his body was running on nothing but instinct.
(Y/n)’s throat tightened. “No…” The crowd leaned in. The ringmaster raised a hand, reveling in the moment. “Observe,” he said softly. The lion’s gaze snapped to the bunny. For a second, nothing happened. Then instinct took over. He lunged. (Y/n)’s entire body tensed, every muscle screaming to move, to stop it, to do something. The bunny let out a small, broken sound as she tried to scramble away, her movements panicked, uncoordinated. “Don’t,” Nicholas murmured, his hand closing tightly around hers. “I can’t just sit here,” she whispered, her voice shaking despite herself. “You have to,” he said, firmer now, though his grip tightened as the scene unfolded. The lion closed the distance in seconds. He pounced. The impact knocked the bunny to the ground, a sharp cry tearing from her as claws scraped across her side. The lion snapped, teeth grazing, then biting down just enough to draw blood.
The audience reacted. Some gasped, others laughed. (Y/n)’s vision blurred for a split second, rage burning hot and immediate in her chest. Her hand clenched painfully in Nicholas’s, grounding her just enough to keep her from standing. “Not yet,” he said under his breath. “If we blow this now, we lose all of them.” The words landed, heavy and awful. In the ring, handlers rushed in, pulling the lion back with practiced efficiency. He struggled weakly, snarling, still trying to reach the bunny even as they dragged him away. The bunny didn’t move at first. Then, slowly, she curled in on herself, trembling. The ringmaster stepped forward again, completely unfazed, his smile never wavering. “And that,” he said smoothly, “is only the beginning.”
(Y/n) swallowed hard, forcing her expression back into something neutral, something that matched the rest of the crowd. But her grip on Nicholas’s hand didn’t loosen. “Later,” she whispered, her voice barely there. “We’re ending this later.” Nicholas didn’t look at her, his gaze fixed on the ring. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “We are.” The applause came too quickly after the previous act, like the crowd needed to drown out what they had just seen. (Y/n) forced her hands to move, slow and measured, joining in just enough to blend in. Her palms felt cold despite the heat in the room. “Psychotic,” she muttered under her breath.
Nicholas didn’t respond right away. His jaw was tight, his gaze fixed forward. “Document everything,” he said quietly. “Faces, reactions, who’s enjoying this.” The cages were cleared, the blood on the floor barely addressed before the next setup began. Poles rose. Ropes tightened. The trapeze equipment creaked as it was adjusted into place high above the ring again. Then they brought them out. Two domestic cat hybrids. Older than the bunny, but not by much. Their ears were pinned low, tails twitching with barely contained fear. One of them hesitated at the edge of the platform, looking down at the empty space beneath them. There was no net.
(Y/n)’s stomach dropped. “You’ve got to be kidding me…” Nicholas’s voice was tight. “They removed it.” The ringmaster’s voice rang out again, cheerful, delighted. “A test of grace under pressure.” The bar was lowered. Flames caught along its length. A collective murmur passed through the audience, this time edged with excitement. (Y/n)’s fingers curled into her dress. “This isn’t a performance. It’s torture.” The cat hybrids exchanged a quick glance. Something passed between them, fear, understanding, maybe both. Then one of them stepped forward. Slowly, carefully, they reached for the bar. The moment their hands closed around it, they flinched. The reaction was immediate. Muscles tensed, shoulders jerked, a sharp inhale that never quite became a scream. But they held on. They had to.
“Don’t look,” Nicholas murmured. “I’m not looking away,” (Y/n) shot back, her voice barely above a whisper. The second hybrid followed, biting down hard enough that (Y/n) could see the strain in their jaw even from a distance. The smell of burning hit again, sharper this time. Then they moved. Swinging from one bar to the next, every motion precise despite the pain. Their hands burned with each grip, but they didn’t hesitate. Couldn’t hesitate. The crowd watched, rapt. Some even clapped along. (Y/n) felt something twist painfully in her chest. “They’re going to fall,” she said, almost to herself. “They won’t,” Nicholas replied, though it sounded more like hope than certainty. “They know what happens if they do.”
The act ended without a fall. The moment their feet hit the platform again, both hybrids staggered, hands shaking violently, but they stayed upright. Applause erupted. Louder this time. (Y/n) clapped again, slower now, her expression carefully neutral. Inside, it felt like something was splintering. “Just a little longer,” Nicholas said under his breath. She nodded once. The final act began. Three figures were led into the ring. A wolf. A fox. And a red panda. The difference was immediate. They stood straighter. Their movements were smoother, less hesitant. When the music started, they moved with it, stepping into a coordinated routine that almost looked… natural.
The red panda even smiled. (Y/n)’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Do you see that?” Nicholas leaned back just enough to watch more closely. “Yeah. They’re not reacting like the others.” The wolf spun, landing lightly before helping the fox into a controlled flip. The red panda followed with a series of quick, playful movements, earning a ripple of genuine laughter from the crowd. It looked polished. Rehearsed. Almost willing. “Conditioned?” (Y/n) murmured. “Or rewarded,” Nicholas said. “Better treatment for better performance.” (Y/n)’s gaze flicked across the audience. That’s when she noticed it.
Small movements. Subtle. Easy to miss if you weren’t looking for it. People leaning toward each other. Hands shifting. Fingers tapping discreetly against wrists or programs. Counting. Money. Her expression didn’t change, but her voice dropped lower. “There it is.” Nicholas followed her line of sight, his eyes sharpening. “Yeah. This is the beginning of the auction.” Numbers passed in murmurs, barely audible beneath the music. A glance here, a nod there. Silent bids moving through the crowd like an invisible current. (Y/n) shifted slightly in her seat, angling herself just enough to catch more faces. “I’ve got at least six active bidders in our section alone.” “More on the left,” Nicholas added. “And the guy two rows down just doubled whatever was offered.”
The red panda spun again, landing in a bow, completely unaware or perhaps too aware. (Y/n)’s throat tightened. “Few more minutes,” Nicholas said, his voice steady now, focused. “We let this play out, confirm the exchange, then we call it in.” (Y/n) gave a small nod, her fingers brushing lightly against his hand again, not for comfort this time, but grounding. Her eyes stayed on the performers. “Yeah,” she said quietly. “And then we shut it all down.”
The final note of music lingered just a second too long before fading, the performers bowing as the audience rose into polished applause. The ringmaster stepped forward once more, basking in it, his smile sharp and satisfied. “Thank you, ladies and gentlemen,” he said smoothly. “And for our most… distinguished guests, we do hope you’ll remain for a more personal experience. A chance to appreciate our performers up close.” A ripple of quiet excitement passed through the crowd. (Y/n) exhaled slowly through her nose, her hands coming together in a final, measured clap before she let them fall to her lap. “Of course you do,” she murmured.
Nicholas shifted slightly in his seat beside her, rolling one shoulder like he was easing tension out of it. “Showtime,” he said under his breath. They stayed seated as others began to filter out or linger uncertainly. (Y/n) slipped her phone out just enough to type a quick message, her movements shielded by the fold of her dress. Interfere in 15. She sent it, then tucked the phone away again, her expression smoothing out like nothing had happened. Leaning slightly toward Nicholas, she let her voice carry just enough to be overheard.
“Honey,” she said, her tone bright and indulgent, “do you think we’ll get to meet the hybrids? I would love a closer look at the dancers. They were just… adorable.” The word tasted bitter. Nicholas leaned back in his seat, one arm draped casually, his wrist turning just enough for the light to catch the face of his watch. “Oh, darling,” he replied, voice warm with effortless arrogance, “I’m sure we will.” Out of the corner of her eye, (Y/n) caught the reactions. A couple to their right leaned closer together, whispering behind raised hands. Someone a few rows ahead glanced back, their gaze lingering just a second longer than casual curiosity allowed. “They’re clocking us,” she muttered. “Let them,” Nicholas said. “We look like money. That’s all they care about.”
She gave the faintest nod. Five minutes passed slowly. Then the man returned. This time, he wore the same tailored elegance as before, the ringmaster gone, replaced once again by the composed host. He stepped into the ring and gestured for the remaining guests to rise. “If you would,” he said, his voice softer now, more intimate. “Right this way.” Chairs shifted. Fabric rustled. People stood, smoothing suits and dresses as they began to follow. (Y/n) and Nicholas rose with them, falling easily into the flow of bodies moving toward the back. The transition was subtle.
Bright lights gave way to dimmer ones. The polished grandeur of the main hall faded into something colder, more functional. The air changed again, heavier now, carrying a mix of metal, sweat, and something that made (Y/n)’s stomach turn. They stepped into the room. And everything stopped. Cages lined the walls. Not one or two. Dozens. Each one held at least three hybrids, some more. Too close together. Too cramped. Some sat huddled in corners, others stood rigid, eyes tracking every movement in the room. A few didn’t move at all. (Y/n) felt her breath catch, sharp and involuntary. “This is worse,” she whispered, barely audible. Nicholas’s hand brushed lightly against hers, a silent warning. “Careful.”
She forced her expression to stay neutral, though her nails dug into her palm again. The man moved to the center of the room, turning to face them all with that same practiced smile. “Welcome,” he said. “To our private collection.” A few people chuckled softly. (Y/n) felt sick. “These hybrids,” he continued, gesturing broadly to the cages, “have been carefully selected and trained. Each one offers something unique. Strength, agility, obedience…” His voice carried easily, confident, proud. “Tonight, they are available to you,” he finished. “To the highest bidder.”
A murmur swept through the room. This time, it wasn’t subtle. Hands lifted. Numbers were spoken, quiet at first, then louder as competition built. A man near the front stepped closer to one of the cages, pointing as he called out an amount. Another countered immediately. (Y/n)’s eyes moved quickly, scanning, cataloging faces, voices, positions. “I’ve got visual confirmation on at least twenty buyers,” she murmured. “More in the back.” “Same,” Nicholas replied. “And guards by both exits. Armed.” Her jaw tightened. “We need to time this perfectly.” A sharp voice cut through the room as a bid jumped higher. The hybrids reacted. Some flinched. Some shrank back. One pressed themselves against the bars like they could disappear into them.
Across the room, the red panda from earlier stood in a cage with two others, still wearing that faint, trained smile, though it didn’t quite reach their eyes anymore. (Y/n)’s gaze lingered for half a second too long. “Don’t,” Nicholas said quietly. “Not yet.” She tore her eyes away, forcing herself to focus. Her pulse thudded steadily now, each second ticking closer. “Ten minutes,” she whispered. Nicholas gave a small nod, his posture relaxed, his expression bored, like none of this mattered. “Then we burn it to the ground,” he said under his breath.
The room settled into a rhythm that made (Y/n)’s skin crawl. Numbers rose and fell, voices calm and practiced, like this was nothing more than an auction for fine art. Smaller hybrids went first. The bunny. The cats. The ones the crowd had barely reacted to before were now reduced to numbers, their worth measured in quick exchanges and dismissive nods. “Thirty thousand.” “Forty.” “Sold.” It happened too fast. (Y/n) kept her posture relaxed, her expression distant, but inside she was counting. Three minutes. Her fingers tapped once against her arm, subtle, hidden in the folds of her dress. The bidding shifted. The tone changed.
Now came the ones they cared about. Wolves. Foxes. Larger hybrids that drew more attention, more excitement. The numbers climbed faster, sharper, competition slipping into voices that had been bored just minutes ago. “Two minutes,” Nicholas murmured, barely moving his lips. (Y/n) gave the smallest nod. Then the man raised his hand again. “And now,” he said, his voice lifting just slightly, “we present something truly special.” The room quieted. Even the bidders who had been murmuring among themselves turned their attention forward. The red panda was brought forward. Up close, the difference was impossible to ignore. (Y/n)’s breath slowed, her eyes narrowing just slightly as she took him in.
Tall. Too tall for his breed’s standard. His frame was lean but strong, movements sharp and precise in a way that didn’t match anything she knew about red panda hybrids. There was an energy to him, a restless kind of awareness, like he was always on the edge of motion. Not lazy. Not soft. Not what he was supposed to be. He stood in the center, posture straight, expression bright, almost eager. If there was fear, it was buried deep, masked behind something trained, something deliberate.
The man gestured toward him with clear pride. “This is K, our beloved red panda,” he announced. “Despite their supposed laziness, K is remarkably energetic. An excellent companion for those with a more… active lifestyle.” A few people chuckled. The bidding started immediately. “Two hundred thousand.” “Two fifty.” “Three.” The numbers jumped so fast it barely felt real. (Y/n)’s focus sharpened. “He was marketed,” she said under her breath. “They knew he’d draw attention.” Nicholas’s voice stayed even. “Yeah. Which means he’s important. Which means we do not get involved.”
“Four hundred.” “Four fifty.” The crowd leaned in, voices overlapping now, the calm control slipping into something hungrier. K didn’t move much, but his eyes shifted, tracking the voices, the hands, the people who were deciding his future in seconds. Something twisted hard in (Y/n)’s chest. “Five hundred.” “Six.” The numbers barely registered anymore. And then, before she could stop herself, her hand lifted. “Six fifty.” The word left her mouth clean, confident. Nicholas went completely still beside her. For a fraction of a second, he didn’t react at all. Then, very quietly, without turning his head, he said, “What are you doing?” (Y/n) didn’t answer. Her eyes stayed on K. “Seven hundred,” someone across the room countered immediately. Her hand rose again. “Seven fifty.” Nicholas’s fingers tightened slightly where they rested against his side. “(Y/n),” he said, low and controlled, “that is not the plan.” “I know,” she replied, just as quietly. “Then stop.”
“Eight hundred.” The numbers kept climbing. Her pulse matched it, steady but fast, something instinctive taking over, something she couldn’t quite shut down. She raised her hand again. “Nine.” Nicholas exhaled slowly through his nose, forcing calm. “We don’t win bids. We observe. We call it in. That’s how this works.” “I know how this works,” she said, her voice still smooth, still perfectly in character. “Then act like it.” “Nine fifty.” A brief pause. Then, from the other side, “One million.” A ripple went through the room. (Y/n)’s stomach flipped. Nicholas finally glanced at her, just for a split second, his expression tight. “That’s your out. Let it go.” She didn’t. Her hand lifted again. “One point two.”
This time, the reaction was louder. A few heads turned, more attention shifting toward them now. Nicholas forced himself not to look at her again, not to break the illusion. But his voice dropped even lower, sharper now. “You need to stop.” (Y/n) swallowed, her gaze still locked on K. K, who stood there like he was waiting. Like he knew. Her fingers curled slightly before she forced them still. Across the room, the previous bidder hesitated. Then, “One point three.” Silence stretched. Nicholas spoke again, quieter this time. “Thirty seconds.” The reminder hit. Backup. Timing. Everything they had planned.
(Y/n)’s hand hovered for just a fraction too long. The room watched. Waited. And for a moment, it wasn’t just about the bidding anymore. The tension snapped all at once. The doors burst open with a violent crack, slamming against the walls hard enough to echo through the room. “HPS is here, clear out!” For a split second, everything froze. Then the room exploded into chaos. Voices overlapped, no longer polished or controlled. People shouted, cursed, shoved past each other. Some threw wads of cash at handlers in desperate, greedy attempts to secure what they thought they could still take. Others rushed the cages, fumbling with locks, dragging hybrids out with no care for anything but escape. “Move, move!” “Take them!” “Now!”
(Y/n) didn’t hesitate. She pulled away from Nicholas the moment the panic started, slipping through the confusion before anyone could grab or question her. Her heart pounded hard in her chest, adrenaline sharpening every movement, every sound. “HPS, on the ground!” “Hands where I can see them!” Boots thundered in from every entrance. Agents flooded the room, weapons drawn, voices cutting through the noise with trained precision. Within seconds, exits were blocked, escape routes gone. A man tried to bolt past one of the doors. He didn’t make it two steps before he was forced to the ground. (Y/n) barely registered it.
Her eyes were already searching. Finding him. K. He hadn’t run. He stood near where he’d been displayed, the chaos swirling around him, his earlier energy gone. Now there was something else in his posture. Uncertainty. Fear. The kind that came from not knowing who was worse. (Y/n) slowed as she approached, raising her hands slightly, making sure her movements were clear. “K,” she called, her voice cutting through just enough. His head snapped toward her. For a moment, he looked like he might bolt. “Hey,” she said, softer now, stepping closer. “Come with me.”
She held out her hand. He didn’t take it. Not right away. His eyes flicked around the room. Agents in tactical gear. Humans shouting. Other hybrids being pulled away, some resisting, some too exhausted to fight. His breathing quickened. He took a small step back. “I’m not going to hurt you,” (Y/n) said, her voice steady, grounded. “I’m with HPS. You’re safe with me.” The words hung there. He searched her face, like he was trying to find something real in it. Something that wasn’t part of a performance. For a second, it felt like he might refuse. Then, slowly, hesitantly, he reached out. His hand hovered just short of hers before finally closing the gap.
The moment their fingers touched, she tightened her grip just enough to be reassuring, not restraining. “Good,” she said quietly. “Stay with me.” She turned, guiding him through the chaos. Around them, agents were securing the room. Bidders were being restrained, forced to their knees, hands behind their backs. Handlers shouted protests that went nowhere. Cages were being opened properly now, hybrids carefully led out instead of dragged. “Clear this side!” “Get medical in here!” Nicholas stood near the center, already in conversation with one of their superiors, his posture composed despite everything happening around him.
His eyes flicked up the moment he saw her. Then to K. There was a pause. A very brief one. But she saw it. (Y/n) reached them just as the boss turned fully toward Nicholas, mid-sentence. The woman’s gaze shifted to (Y/n), sharp and assessing, then dropped to the hybrid at her side. Her expression tightened slightly. “And this is?” she asked, gesturing toward K. (Y/n) shrugged lightly, though her hand didn’t leave his. “I don’t know,” she said. “I just… he was scared.” The boss held her gaze for a moment longer than necessary, like she was weighing that answer. Then she exhaled, shaking her head once. “Of course you did,” she muttered. She gestured toward the exit. “Get him to the transport trucks. We’re running full evaluations on all of them. Medical, identification, the works.”
Her eyes flicked back to (Y/n), more pointed now. “And don’t disappear. We’ll need your full report. Both of you.” Nicholas gave a short nod. “Understood.” (Y/n) nodded as well. “Got it.” The boss moved on immediately, already calling out new orders. For a second, the noise of the room pressed back in. Radios crackling. Voices coordinating. The aftermath settling into something controlled. (Y/n) glanced at K. Up close, she could see the tension still running through him, the way his shoulders hadn’t fully relaxed, his grip on her hand just a little tighter than before.
“It’s okay,” she said quietly. “We’re getting you out of here.” He didn’t respond, not in words. But he didn’t let go. She gave his hand a small, reassuring squeeze, then started toward the exit, guiding him through the sea of uniforms and flashing lights. Behind them, the operation continued. Ahead of them, the night air waited, sharp and clean compared to everything they were leaving behind.
The night air hit different the second they stepped outside. Cool. Sharp. Clean enough to almost wash away the stench of the place behind them. Rows of transport trucks lined the street, doors open, agents moving quickly but carefully as they guided hybrids inside. Voices were calmer out here, more controlled, but the urgency still hummed beneath it all. (Y/n) slowed as they approached one of the trucks. K didn’t. Not at first. Then his grip tightened. It wasn’t sudden. Just a quiet shift. Fingers curling more firmly around hers, like he had realized something he didn’t like. She glanced at him. His gaze was fixed on the inside of the truck.
Hybrids sat along the benches, some wrapped in blankets, others staring blankly ahead. A few flinched at every movement. None of them looked at ease. K didn’t move. Instead, he took a small step closer to her. (Y/n) softened immediately, turning fully toward him. “Hey,” she said gently. He didn’t answer. His hand only tightened again. “I know,” she murmured. “It’s a lot.” His eyes flicked to hers, searching, uncertain. There was something almost fragile in the way he held himself now, so different from the confident energy he had shown earlier in the ring. “They’re going to take care of you,” she continued, keeping her voice calm and steady. “You need to go with them, okay?”
He shook his head, just slightly. It wasn’t defiance. It was fear. (Y/n)’s chest tightened. “I’m not sending you somewhere bad,” she said softly. “This is the safe part. I promise.” He still didn’t move. So she shifted closer, lowering her voice just for him. “I’ll come with you,” she said. “Not tonight, but I’ll come to the shelter. I’ll check on you. I won’t just disappear.” That made him pause. He studied her face again, like he had back inside. Like he was trying to decide if her words meant anything. Slowly, he stepped closer, closing what little space was left between them. Even in her heels, she had to tilt her head slightly to meet his eyes.
His free hand lifted, hesitant at first, then more certain as he reached toward her. His fingers brushed against her hair, gently tucking a loose strand behind her ear with a kind of careful focus that made her breath catch. “I’ll wait for you,” he said quietly. (Y/n) felt something pull tight in her chest. She nodded, not breaking eye contact. “I’ll come visit,” she repeated. “I promise.” For a second longer, he didn’t let go. Then, slowly, his grip loosened. Her hand slipped from his. He turned, climbing into the truck without another word, moving to one of the open spots along the bench. Once he sat down, he looked back at her, his expression still uncertain, but steadier now.
Waiting. (Y/n) stayed where she was for a moment, watching him. “Hey,” an agent called nearby. “We need to clear this area.” She nodded absently, her eyes still on K. Then she straightened, turning away at last as the truck doors began to close. Inside, K didn’t look away. Not until the doors shut completely, sealing him in with the others, carrying him somewhere unknown. Somewhere safe, hopefully. (Y/n) exhaled slowly, the weight of everything settling in all at once. “Hey.” Nicholas’s voice came from behind her. “You good?” She didn’t answer right away. Her gaze lingered on the line of trucks, on the one that had just pulled away. “Yeah,” she said finally, though it came out quieter than she intended. Nicholas stepped up beside her, following her line of sight. “You broke protocol back there.” “I know.” A pause. Then, softer, “You’re going to visit him, aren’t you?” (Y/n) didn’t hesitate this time. “Yeah,” she said.
By the time the last of the trucks pulled away, the night had settled into something quieter. Not peaceful. Just… over. Hybrids were split between transports, sent to shelters across the city. Medical teams were already waiting, ready to assess injuries, check records, try to piece together where each of them had come from and if anyone was still looking for them. Behind them, flashing lights painted the street in red and blue as the rest of the operation wrapped up. Organizers, handlers, bidders, all of them were loaded into separate vehicles, their earlier confidence completely gone. No more polished smiles. No more quiet bids. Just cuffs, tension, and the reality of what came next.
(Y/n) barely remembered the drive back. HPS headquarters felt colder than usual when they stepped inside, the bright overhead lights a sharp contrast to everything they had just come from. The hum of activity hadn’t slowed, reports already being filed, teams moving between rooms with purpose. They were separated briefly, then brought in one after the other. Testimonies. Every detail. The lead-up. The performance. The cages. The bidding. Nicholas spoke first, his tone steady, precise, laying everything out in a clean, structured way that made it easy to follow. (Y/n) followed. She didn’t leave anything out. Not the bunny. Not the fire. Not the look on K’s face when the bidding started. The room stayed quiet as she spoke. Too quiet. Then came the part they had been waiting for.
Her supervisor leaned back slightly, arms crossed, expression unreadable but tight around the edges. “You broke protocol.” (Y/n) didn’t argue that. “Yes.” “You engaged beyond observational limits. You entered an active bid with no clearance.” “I know.” Nicholas shifted beside her. “She was maintaining cover,” he said, stepping in before the silence stretched too long. “They were starting to pay attention to us. If she backed out too abruptly, it could have raised suspicion.” The supervisor’s gaze flicked to him. “Were you aware she intended to continue bidding?” Nicholas hesitated, just enough to be honest. “No. But I understood the risk in the moment.”
(Y/n) glanced at him, just briefly. The supervisor looked back at her. “Your reasoning.” She exhaled slowly. “I felt like I had to,” she said. The words sounded thin the second they left her mouth, but she didn’t try to dress them up. The supervisor’s expression hardened slightly. “That is not a justification.” (Y/n)’s jaw tightened. “He was being targeted. People were already jumping numbers for him. If I didn’t step in, it could have escalated faster, drawn more attention, made extraction harder.” A pause. Then, quieter, more honest, “And… I felt a connection to him.” That didn’t help.
The supervisor shook his head once, exhaling through his nose. “We don’t operate on feelings.” Nicholas spoke again, more firmly this time. “With respect, we also don’t ignore situational shifts. She didn’t compromise the mission. If anything, it kept us in position longer.” Another pause. Tension hung in the air for a few seconds. Then the supervisor straightened slightly, his tone shifting just enough. “You completed the mission,” he said. “You gathered evidence. You confirmed trafficking and secured a full intervention. That matters.” (Y/n) stayed still, waiting for the rest. “But this,” he added, his gaze locking onto hers again, “does not happen again.” She nodded. “Understood.”
Silence. Then a small shift in posture, less rigid now. “You’re both cleared,” he said. “Standard leave applies. One month.” Nicholas let out a quiet breath. “Copy that.” (Y/n) nodded again. The tension eased just enough for the room to feel breathable again. They were dismissed. Nicholas stepped out first, rolling his shoulders as they moved into the hallway. “Well,” he muttered, “that could’ve gone worse.” (Y/n) gave a faint hum, but didn’t follow him right away. “Hey,” he said, noticing. “You coming?” “In a minute.” He studied her for a second, then nodded. “Don’t do anything reckless without me.” She huffed softly. “No promises.” He smirked, then headed off down the hall.
(Y/n) turned back, knocking lightly before stepping into the office again. The supervisor looked up, mildly surprised. “Something else?” “Yeah,” she said. “The red panda. K. Which shelter?” He watched her for a moment, then reached for the tablet on his desk, scrolling through intake logs. “Transferred about thirty minutes ago,” he said. “Moon Shelter.” (Y/n) nodded, committing it to memory. “Thank you.” He gave a short nod in return. “Get some rest.” She didn’t respond to that. Instead, she turned and walked out, the hallway stretching ahead of her, quieter now that most of the immediate work had been assigned. Outside, the city was still awake, lights glowing against the night. (Y/n) stepped out into it, already pulling her phone out as she moved. Home first. Change. Then the shelter. A promise was a promise.
~~~
The Moon Shelter was anything but quiet. Even at three in the morning, the place buzzed with movement. Soft footsteps echoed down the halls, voices low but constant, the occasional metallic clink of equipment being moved. The air smelled clean, clinical, but warmer than the headquarters. Less rigid. More human. (Y/n) pushed the door open, stepping inside as it shut quietly behind her. “(Y/n)?” She looked up. Yuma stood a few steps away, half buried behind a stack of papers, dark circles under his eyes but a familiar grin breaking through the exhaustion. He straightened immediately when he saw her.
“Yuma,” she said, walking over. “It’s been a while. How are you?” He pulled her into a quick hug, tight but brief. “Yeah, no kidding. Heard about tonight. Good work.” “Thanks,” she said, pulling back, glancing down at the mess in his hands. “But hey, I asked you a question.” He let out a tired laugh, lifting the papers slightly. “I’m good,” he said. “But I don’t think I’m sleeping for a week with all of this.” (Y/n) smiled, shaking her head. “Yeah, the operation was bigger than we thought. I’m just glad we pulled it off.” Yuma nodded, his expression softening for a moment before curiosity slipped in. “So,” he said, tilting his head slightly, “what brings you here at three in the morning?”
(Y/n) hesitated for just a second. Then she smiled, a little more nervous than she expected to feel. “I kind of promised one of the hybrids we rescued that I’d come visit him.” Yuma’s grin widened immediately. “Let me guess,” he said, already turning slightly. “The red panda?” (Y/n) blinked. “How did you know?” He smirked, clearly pleased with himself. “Just a guess,” he said. “Considering the only thing he’s been asking about since he got here is how visitors work.” That made something in her chest tighten. “Anyways,” Yuma added, jerking his head toward the hallway, “come on.”
He started walking, weaving through the controlled chaos of the shelter. (Y/n) followed close behind, her heels clicking softly against the floor, the sound oddly out of place among everything else. They passed open rooms. Some hybrids were being checked over by medical staff, quiet reassurances filling the space. Others sat wrapped in blankets, eyes heavy, finally starting to come down from the adrenaline. A few slept, curled up in corners or on cots, exhaustion winning out. “Most of them are stable,” Yuma said as they walked. “A few need more attention, but nothing we can’t handle.” “That’s good,” (Y/n) replied, though her focus had already started to narrow. They turned down a quieter hallway. Less movement here. Softer lighting. The kind of space meant for recovery instead of urgency.
Yuma slowed as they reached a door near the end. “He’s in here,” he said, glancing at her. “Been… restless.” (Y/n) nodded, her hand lifting slightly before she paused. For a second, she just stood there, staring at the door. Then she let out a slow breath, steadying herself, her fingers hovering just inches from the handle, but then she knocked softly before opening the door. A quiet voice answered from inside. “Come in.” (Y/n) pushed the door open. K stood by the window, the faint light from outside casting a soft glow around him. He had been changed into clean clothes, simple and comfortable, and though he looked better physically, something in his posture had shifted. His ears were pressed down into his fluffy hair, his tail hanging low and still behind him.
He looked… smaller, somehow. “Hey, K,” (Y/n) said gently. He turned quickly at the sound of her voice. The change was immediate. His tail lifted, moving slightly, his ears twitching as they perked up just a bit. A smile broke across his face, bright and genuine. “You came,” he said. (Y/n) smiled back, stepping fully into the room. “I promised, didn’t I?” He nodded quickly, almost eagerly, then gestured toward the small bed. “You can sit,” he said, a little awkward but clearly trying. (Y/n) walked over and sat down, the mattress dipping slightly under her weight. She expected him to join her, maybe sit beside her, but instead he lowered himself to the floor in front of her, settling with his back against the wall.
She blinked, tilting her head slightly. “Why are you sitting down there?” He shrugged, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I can look at you easier this way.” (Y/n) let out a soft chuckle. “Alright.” The room settled into a quiet calm after that. No rush. No urgency. Just the faint hum of the shelter outside and the steady, shared silence between them. K didn’t look away. His gaze stayed fixed on her, careful, focused, like he was trying to take in every detail. Like he was afraid something might change if he looked away for too long. (Y/n) noticed, but she didn’t call it out.
She had changed since earlier. The dress was gone, replaced by something simpler, more comfortable. Her hair was pulled back into a loose bun, a few strands escaping around her face. No makeup now, nothing polished or rehearsed. Just her. K tilted his head slightly, studying her in this new light. She had looked beautiful before, in the bright lights and expensive clothes, like she belonged somewhere far away from him. But this… This felt different. Softer. Real. And still just as beautiful.
His tail gave a small, absent flick against the floor as he kept looking at her, like he was trying to memorize everything. For a while, they just sat there, the quiet stretching comfortably between them. Eventually, (Y/n) shifted slightly, resting her hands in her lap as she looked down at him. “Is your name actually K?” she asked gently. “Or is it something else?” K went still for a moment. His fingers stilled against his tail as he thought. “It’s been a long time since I’ve thought about it,” he admitted quietly. His gaze drifted for a second, like he was reaching back for something distant. “My birth name was Koga Yudai.” The name lingered in the air. “But they shortened it,” he added after a moment. “Just to K. Simpler, I guess.”
(Y/n) nodded slowly, letting the weight of that settle. “Would you prefer if I called you Yudai, then?” He looked up at her. Something in his expression softened almost instantly, like the sound of it alone had reached somewhere deeper than anything else. “I’d like that,” he said, his voice quieter now. “It sounds… nice. Hearing that again.” (Y/n) smiled warmly. “It’s a pretty name.” Yudai tilted his head slightly, a faint, thoughtful look crossing his face as his fingers absentmindedly played with the soft fur of his tail now resting across his lap. “So,” he said after a moment, glancing back up at her, “what’s your name?”
(Y/n) blinked, then let out a small laugh, bringing a hand up to her forehead. “Oh, wow, I never actually introduced myself, did I?” She shook her head lightly, still smiling. “I’m (Y/n).” Yudai repeated it quietly under his breath, like he was testing how it felt. Then he smiled. “That’s a very pretty name too.” (Y/n) felt a small warmth settle in her chest. “Thank you.” He leaned forward just slightly, curiosity slipping into his expression now that the initial tension had eased. “So… what do you do for HPS?” he asked. (Y/n) shifted her weight, leaning back onto one hand, her posture more relaxed now. “I usually go undercover,” she explained. “Infiltrating fighting rings, black markets… places like that.”
Yudai’s ears twitched faintly as he listened. “When I put some effort in,” she continued with a small, almost amused smile, “I can look like I fit into that world.” He studied her for a second, his gaze steady and sincere. “You look pretty now too,” he said.
(Y/n) blinked, then let out a soft giggle, a little caught off guard. “Thank you, Yudai,” she said, her tone light, “but that’s not really what I meant.” He tilted his head again, clearly confused. “I meant the lifestyle,” she clarified, smiling. “Blending in with the kind of people who go to those places. Acting like I belong there.” “Oh,” he said softly, though his expression didn’t fully change. His fingers brushed lightly over his tail again as he looked at her, still thoughtful. “you still look like you belong somewhere better,” he added, almost to himself.
(Y/n) let out a quiet yawn, bringing a hand up to cover it. The exhaustion was finally catching up to her. It settled heavy in her limbs, slow and unavoidable. There was a reason undercover agents were given time off after missions like this. Weeks of pretending, staying alert, never fully relaxing. It wore you down in ways that didn’t always show right away. This one had been long. Nearly two months of tracking the circus, moving from place to place, gathering scraps of information until they found the right one. The right people. And now that it was over, her body was starting to collect the debt.
Yudai noticed immediately. His ears dipped slightly, his expression shifting as he watched her. “You’re tired,” he said quietly. (Y/n) gave a small, apologetic smile. “Yeah. It’s been a long couple of weeks.” Something flickered in his eyes. Disappointment. Worry. He hesitated for a moment, then gestured quickly to the bed behind her. “You can stay,” he said. “You can sleep here if you want.” (Y/n) blinked, a little surprised. “I can stay down here,” he added, nodding toward the floor where he was already sitting. “It’s fine.” She shook her head almost immediately, her expression softening. “No, it’s okay,” she said gently. “I should go home and get some proper rest.”
The words landed heavier than she meant them to. Yudai’s gaze dropped slightly, his tail going still in his lap. He nodded, but the movement felt smaller this time, quieter. Like he already knew what that meant. Like he had heard it before. (Y/n) noticed. Of course she did. Her chest tightened just a little as she watched him, the way his shoulders sank, the way he tried to hide it. So she leaned forward slightly, her voice softer now. “Hey,” she said. He looked up. “I’m coming back,” she added. “I just need to sleep for a bit first. Then I’ll come visit again.” There was a pause. Yudai searched her face again, like he had earlier, like he needed to be sure. Then, slowly, a small smile returned. “Okay,” he said, nodding.
He held onto that word carefully, like it meant something important. “I’ll be waiting.” (Y/n) smiled back, a little tired, but warm. “Good.” For a moment longer, neither of them moved. Then she pushed herself up from the bed, steadying herself as she stood. The exhaustion was still there, pulling at her, but lighter somehow now. “I’ll see you soon, Yudai.” He nodded again, more certain this time. “Soon.” And as she turned to leave, his eyes followed her all the way to the door, holding onto the promise she left behind like it was something solid.
On her way out, (Y/n) stopped by the front desk where Yuma was still buried under paperwork. He barely looked up at first, flipping through a stack before pausing when he noticed her again. “Heading out already?” “Yeah,” she said, offering a small wave. “I’ll be back this afternoon. After I get some actual sleep.”
Yuma let out a quiet huff of amusement. “Good. You look like you’re about to fall over.” “Rude,” she replied, though there was no real bite to it. He smirked, grabbing a pen and scribbling something down on a nearby sheet. “I’ll make a note of it. If I’m not here, they’ll still let you in.” “Thanks, Yuma.” “Get some rest, (Y/n).” She nodded, then stepped out into the early morning air. By the time she made it home, everything felt hazy. Her body moved on autopilot, shoes kicked off somewhere near the door, clothes half dealt with before she made it to her bed. She didn’t even remember closing her eyes. Sleep took her instantly.
~~~
Hours later, she woke up to sunlight spilling through her window. For a moment, she just lay there, staring at the ceiling, her mind slow to catch up with her body. The exhaustion wasn’t gone, but it had softened, dulled into something manageable. She reached for her phone, blinking at the screen. A message from Nicholas. You alive? Another followed shortly after. I might sleep for a week. (Y/n) let out a quiet laugh, shaking her head. “Of course you would,” she muttered. She typed out a quick response, something reassuring, something light, before setting the phone aside and dragging herself out of bed.
A shower helped. Clean clothes helped more. By the time she stepped outside again, she felt almost like herself, almost. On the way back to the shelter, she slowed as she passed a small café, the smell of fresh coffee and sugar drifting out onto the street. She paused. Then turned. Inside, the display case was lined with pastries and desserts, neat rows of things that looked far too nice to ignore. She scanned them for a moment, thinking. She didn’t know what Yudai liked. Did he even know what he liked? The thought lingered just long enough to make her decision for her.
“I’ll take a few of those,” she said, pointing to a mix of cakes and small desserts. “And… two iced coffees.” The barista nodded, already packing things up. (Y/n) took the bag when it was handed to her, balancing the drinks carefully in her other hand. If he didn’t like it, that was fine. Someone at the shelter would. But as she stepped back out onto the street, heading toward Moon Shelter again, she found herself hoping he would.
(Y/n) wasn’t sure when it had started. That pull. It didn’t make sense. She had been doing this for years, stepping into places most people didn’t even know existed, seeing things most people would never believe. She had cared, always. That was why she stayed. Why she kept going back. But this felt… different. Too personal. Too focused. She adjusted her grip on the small bag of desserts as she walked, her thoughts drifting despite herself.
Her mind wandered further back than she expected, to a fifteen year old her. That was when everything changed. She hadn’t known what it was at first. Just an invite, passed along like something exclusive, something exciting. A place where “interesting things” happened. She had been curious. Careless, maybe. She remembered the noise when she first stepped inside. The way the air had felt thick, wrong. The crowd too loud, too eager. And then she had seen it. The fight. Hybrids forced against each other, injured, exhausted, with nowhere to go. People cheering. Betting. Treating it like entertainment. She hadn’t stayed long after that.
She had stepped outside, hands shaking, and called the first number she could find connected to something called Hybrid Protection Services. She expected them to show up. She didn’t expect them to ask her to stay. To watch. To tell them everything she could. “I can’t go back in there,” she had said, her voice barely steady. “You don’t have to,” the voice on the other end had replied calmly. “Just tell us what you saw. Anything helps.” But she had gone back.
Carefully, quietly watching. And when it was over, when HPS had stormed in and shut it down, they had found her. Asked her questions. Then something else. “You got in once,” one of them had said. “You think you could do it again?” She should have said no. Instead, she had said, “Yeah.” And she never really stopped. (Y/n) exhaled softly, shaking her head as she stepped up to the shelter doors, pushing them open. Years of that. Of going undercover, blending in, pretending to be someone who belonged in those places. And in all that time, she had never felt like this about any of them. Not like she did with Yudai.
The thought lingered as she stepped inside, the familiar hum of activity greeting her again. This time, though, it felt calmer. Slower. At the front desk, Yuma was slumped forward, head resting awkwardly on a stack of papers, very much asleep. (Y/n) walked over quietly, setting the drinks down carefully before reaching out and nudging his shoulder. “Hey,” she said softly. “You’re going to break your neck like that.” Yuma stirred, blinking awake in confusion, his head lifting too quickly before he winced. “Oh, that already hurts,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. (Y/n) laughed lightly. “Told you. Find somewhere better to nap.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled, glancing down at the mountain of paperwork still waiting for him. He let out a long, defeated groan. “I hate this part of the job.” She smiled sympathetically, sliding one of the iced coffees toward him. “Peace offering.” Yuma looked at it like it might save his life. “You’re my favorite person right now.” “I figured.” He took a long sip, sighing like it actually helped, then glanced back at her. “You’re here for Yudai, right?” She nodded. “Yeah. Is he still in his room?” “Should be,” Yuma said, then paused, tilting his head slightly. “Well… again.” (Y/n) frowned just a little. “Again?” He nodded, setting the coffee down. “Yeah. They pulled him in for another med check earlier.” Her expression tightened slightly. “Is he okay?”
“Yeah,” Yuma said quickly. “He’s actually one of the better cases. No major injuries, no severe physical trauma. Which is… rare, considering where he came from.” (Y/n) let out a small breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. “But,” Yuma added, a faint smirk tugging at his lips, “he’s been a bit of a challenge in other ways.” She raised an eyebrow. “Oh?” Yuma leaned back slightly in his chair, folding his arms. “He keeps bringing you up.” (Y/n) blinked. “What?” “Yeah,” he said, clearly amused now. “Every time we try to ask him something, redirect the conversation, get background info… somehow it circles back to you.” (Y/n) felt her cheeks warm just slightly.
“That’s… not helpful for you.” “Not even a little,” Yuma said with a laugh. “But it does tell me something.” She crossed her arms lightly, trying to ignore the small knot forming in her chest. “What’s that?” He gave her a knowing look. “He trusts you.” That landed heavier than she expected. Yuma reached for his coffee again, taking another sip before gesturing down the hall. “Go on. He should be back in his room by now.” (Y/n) nodded, picking up the bag and the second drink. “Thanks, Yuma.” “Anytime,” he said, already glancing back at his paperwork with a resigned sigh.
(Y/n) made her way down the hallway, her steps a little lighter this time. When she reached the door Yuma had shown her earlier, she paused for just a second, then knocked. She expected the same quiet come in. Instead, the door opened almost immediately. “(Y/n)!” Yudai stood there, eyes bright, his tail moving behind him in quick, uneven sways that were probably the closest thing to wagging he could manage. The shift from earlier was obvious. Lighter. Happier. (Y/n) smiled without even thinking about it. “I brought some snacks,” she said, lifting the bag slightly. “Or… sweets, I guess. And a coffee for you, if you want it.”
His smile widened as he took the bag from her, careful but eager. “Come in,” he said quickly, stepping aside. She walked in, setting the drink down on the small table before turning back toward him. Yudai had already settled onto the floor again, like it was the most natural place for him to be. (Y/n) watched him for a second. Then, without much thought, she lowered herself down to sit across from him. He blinked, clearly surprised. “You can sit on the bed,” he said, gesturing quickly. “It’s more comfortable.” She shook her head lightly. “I’m fine here.” He hesitated, like he wanted to argue, then gave in with a small nod.
His attention shifted to the table. “There’s only one,” he said, pointing at the coffee. (Y/n) leaned back slightly, resting her hands behind her. “I did buy two,” she admitted. “But I gave mine to Yuma. He looked like he needed it more than me.” Yudai’s expression softened again, something quiet and thoughtful settling in his eyes. She’s so kind, he thought, almost absently. Then he looked back at the drink. “You should have this one then,” he said, nudging it slightly in her direction. “I don’t need it.” (Y/n) looked at him, then shook her head. “It’s not about what you need,” she said. “It’s about whether you want it.” He paused. Then a small smile returned, softer this time. “How about we share it?” he suggested. (Y/n) let out a light laugh. “Alright,” she said. “If that’s the only way you’ll accept it.”
Yudai’s tail flicked again, a little more relaxed now as he opened the bag, peeking inside at everything she had brought. For a moment, the room felt easy. Simple. Just the two of them, sitting on the floor, deciding which dessert to try first. “I wasn’t sure what you’d like, so I got a mix of things,” (Y/n) said, watching as he carefully unpacked the bag. Yudai smiled, a soft, pleased expression. “Mm… I like most things.” One by one, he took the desserts out, setting them between them like something precious. His eyes lingered on each one, a quiet kind of awe in the way he looked at them, like he wasn’t used to having options. “They’re… really pretty,” he murmured.
(Y/n) reached into the bag again, pulling out two small wooden spoons. “They’re not the best to eat with,” she admitted, handing him one, “but they’ll have to do.” “I don’t mind,” he said, taking it carefully. They started slow. Trying one thing, then another, occasionally pausing as he reacted to the taste, sometimes surprised, sometimes just quietly pleased. The room filled with small sounds. Soft laughter. The faint clink of spoons against containers.
For a while, it was easy again. Then (Y/n) set her spoon down. Yudai noticed immediately. She leaned back slightly, reaching for the coffee and taking a small sip before looking at him. “I have a few things I want to ask you,” she said. He straightened just a little, his ears giving a small twitch. “What do you want to know?” (Y/n) hesitated briefly, choosing her words. “Yuma mentioned it’s been a bit difficult to get information from you,” she said, her tone gentle, not accusatory. “So I thought I’d try.” Yudai didn’t look defensive. Just… attentive.
She took another small sip of the coffee, then continued. “How long were you at the circus?” He went quiet. Not shutting down, just thinking. “Maybe around five years,” he said after a moment. “Maybe a bit more. I stopped counting.” (Y/n)’s brows pulled together slightly, surprise flickering across her face. “That long?” He nodded faintly. Her gaze dropped to the desserts between them, her fingers tightening just a little around the cup. “They kept you for that long,” she murmured, more to herself than him. Yudai’s eyes followed hers, settling on one of the untouched pastries. His fingers brushed lightly against it, but he didn’t pick it up.
“They would auction me,” he said quietly. “At the special events.” (Y/n) stilled. “But then they’d find a reason to take me back,” he continued, his voice calm in a way that felt practiced. “Something would always go wrong. Paperwork. Fake payment problems. Behavior.” He gave a small, almost humorless smile. “There was always an excuse for them to take the money but not send me away.” Her grip tightened slightly. “They knew I drew crowds,” he added. “People liked watching. Bidding.” His gaze flicked up to hers for a second before dropping again. “So they used it.”
The room felt heavier now. The untouched desserts sat between them, suddenly less inviting. (Y/n) didn’t interrupt. She just listened. “I noticed something,” (Y/n) said after a moment, her voice softer now. “Last night… you looked a bit happy. Despite everything.” Yudai didn’t seem surprised by the question. He just shrugged lightly, his fingers tracing absent patterns along the edge of a pastry. “They treated me better than most,” he said. “So I didn’t have much to complain about.” (Y/n) frowned slightly, but didn’t interrupt. “I like moving,” he continued. “Dancing. Running. Doing things.” A faint, almost sheepish smile crossed his face. “Not very typical for a red panda, I guess.” She let out a quiet huff of amusement. “Yeah, you’re definitely not what people expect.” He nodded. “So… I got to do something I enjoyed. Perform, move around, stay active.” His voice dipped just slightly. “Considering everything, I felt kind of happy.” Then his gaze dropped. “But I also felt terrible,” he added more quietly. “For everyone else.” (Y/n)’s expression softened. That made sense. More than she liked. “Yeah,” she said gently. “That makes sense.”
There was a brief pause before she shifted slightly, picking up her spoon again only to set it back down without using it. “Okay,” she said, her tone careful. “Before the circus… where were you?” Yudai’s shoulders lifted in another small shrug, but this one felt heavier. “I didn’t really have a home,” he said. (Y/n) stilled. “I was kicked out when I was younger,” he continued. “Maybe fourteen.” Her grip tightened slightly on her knee. “They said I was too energetic,” he went on, his voice flat in a way that felt learned. “Too much. Not what they expected.” (Y/n) didn’t look away from him. “It was easier for them to just…” he made a small, vague motion with his hand, “get rid of me. Than to go through the process of handing me over properly.”
Her jaw tightened. “So I left,” he said simply. “Wandered around. Took care of myself.” For a second, the room felt very small. “And then,” he added, almost like it was just another step in a long line of things, “the man from the circus found me.” (Y/n)’s eyes sharpened slightly. “He offered me a job,” Yudai said. “A place to stay. Food.” A pause. “I didn’t ask questions,” he finished. Silence settled between them again. (Y/n) exhaled slowly, leaning back just a little, her gaze dropping to the floor for a second before lifting again. “You were just a kid,” she said quietly. Yudai didn’t respond to that. He just picked up his spoon again, though he didn’t use it, turning it lightly between his fingers like he didn’t quite know what to do with his hands anymore.
“We don’t have to go through everything today,” (Y/n) said gently. “If it’s too much, we can talk about something else.” Yudai shook his head almost immediately. “No,” he said. “I’d rather get everything out now.” She studied him for a second, making sure. Then she nodded. “Alright.” She shifted slightly, her tone careful again. “You said they treated you better than the others… but did they ever hurt you? Abuse you in any way?” Yudai went quiet. His hand tightened around his tail, fingers gripping the fur as he took a slow breath in.
“In the beginning,” he said. (Y/n) felt her chest tighten. “They would hit me,” he continued, his voice steady in a way that felt practiced. “Starve me. Make sure I understood I had to listen.” Her jaw clenched. “I also went through the same kind of… thing you saw last night,” he added, quieter now. “Like the bunny.” (Y/n)’s stomach turned. Yudai hesitated, then lifted his shirt slightly. “Wait, you don’t have to show me if you don’t want to, I already believe you, I just-” She stopped mid sentence. Her breath caught. Along his side, a large scar stretched across his torso. Jagged. Uneven. Too deep to have ever been anything minor. A bite mark.
“Oh, Yudai…” she said softly, the words barely above a whisper. He lowered his shirt again, like it didn’t matter much. “It’s healed,” he said with a small shrug. “It’s just a bad memory now.” (Y/n) shook her head immediately. “That doesn’t make it okay,” she said, her voice firmer now. He didn’t argue. He just looked down again, his fingers loosening slightly in his tail. For a moment, neither of them spoke. Then (Y/n) leaned forward just a little, her tone softening again. “They shouldn’t have done that to you,” she said quietly. “To any of you.” Yudai’s ears twitched faintly. “I know,” he replied, though it sounded like something he was still learning to believe.
(Y/n) blinked quickly, lifting her hand to brush away the tear that had almost slipped free. She let out a slow breath, steadying herself. “I think that’s everything we needed to go over,” she said, her voice gentle again. “I’m guessing the shelter already knows about the scars?” Yudai nodded. “Yeah. They saw them during the checks.” He paused, his gaze drifting slightly. “They asked about them too.” (Y/n) tilted her head a little. “But you didn’t answer.” He shook his head. “I don’t know why,” he admitted. “I just… couldn’t. Not with them.” (Y/n) nodded, understanding settling easily. “That’s okay,” she said softly. “They get that. Not everyone is ready to talk about everything, especially with people they don’t know yet.”
That seemed to ease something in him, even if just a little. Silence settled again, lighter this time, less heavy than before. A few seconds passed before Yudai shifted, glancing down at the small spread of desserts between them. He pointed to one of the cakes they had already tried, a small, thoughtful smile returning. “I think that one’s my favorite,” he said. “It was really good.” (Y/n) followed his gesture, smiling. “Yeah,” she agreed. “That one was delicious.”
Her mind still lingered on the scar. On what it meant. On everything he had gone through. But she pushed it back, gently but firmly. Not now. Right now, he was here. Safe. Sitting across from her, talking about cake like it was the most important thing in the world. So she focused on that. On him. The way his eyes seemed to catch the light when he smiled. The small, almost constant movement of his ears, reacting to every little sound. The way his nose scrunched just slightly when he tasted something he didn’t like earlier. The quiet, genuine sound of his laughter. Not the pain. Not the past. Just this.
After another bite of cake, Yudai glanced up at her, curiosity slipping back into his expression. “What do you do,” he asked, “when you’re not working undercover?” (Y/n) leaned back slightly, thinking. “Not much, honestly,” she said with a small shrug. “I hang out with friends sometimes.” He tilted his head, listening closely. “Like Nicholas,” she added. “You saw him last night.” Yudai nodded faintly. “We met when I first started at HPS,” she continued. “He had just started too. We actually hated each other at first.” Yudai blinked, a little surprised. “Really?”
“Oh yeah,” she said with a quiet laugh. “Couldn’t stand him. But then we realized we had more in common than we thought. Same kind of work, same way of thinking about things.” Her smile softened slightly. “We became friends after that.” She shifted a little, resting her arms loosely on her knees. “Then there’s people like Yuma. I don’t see him as often, since we’re both busy most of the time.” Yudai nodded again, his gaze steady. “And during time off?” he asked. (Y/n) let out a small breath. “I mostly just stay home,” she admitted. “Being undercover takes a lot out of you. I’m usually exhausted the first week after a mission, so I just… rest.”
He watched her for a second longer. “Isn’t it lonely?” he asked quietly. (Y/n) looked up toward the ceiling, considering it. “Sometimes,” she said after a moment. “Yeah.” Her gaze dropped back to him. “But I’m lucky,” she added. “I’ve got Nico. We’re almost always paired together for missions. A lot of people in HPS work completely alone.” She gave a small shrug. “At least we have each other to lean on.” Her expression shifted slightly, something more thoughtful settling in. “But… it’s a lonely world,” she admitted. “Most people are just focused on themselves.”
Yudai nodded slowly, like he understood that more than she expected. Then he spoke again. “What if you didn’t have to be alone?” (Y/n) blinked, her attention sharpening as she met his gaze. “What do you mean?” Yudai looked down at his tail, his fingers brushing through the soft fur as he gathered his thoughts. “Like…” he started, hesitating just a little. “What if you had a hybrid?” He glanced up at her again, more uncertain now. “Adopted one,” he clarified. “Someone who would always be there for you.”
(Y/n) looked at the window, her gaze lingering on the faint reflection of the two of them in the glass. “I’ve thought about it,” she said, her voice quieter than before, like the admission carried more weight than she wanted it to. “But… I never found a hybrid that I felt connected with.” Her fingers traced lightly against the edge of the bed as she spoke, unfocused. “And even if I had… I didn’t think it would be right for me to adopt one.”
She exhaled slowly, shoulders dipping just a fraction. “Sometimes I have to be gone for a week or two for work,” she continued, glancing down briefly before looking back out the window. “No warning, no set schedule. I can’t always bring someone along, and even if I could, it wouldn’t be safe.” A faint crease formed between her brows. “I’m not sure I’d be able to provide a good home for a hybrid. Not the kind they actually deserve.”
Yudai listened closely, his attention never wavering. His tail twitched in his lap, the soft fur shifting under his fingers as they absentmindedly brushed over it. There was a slight tension in his posture now, something quieter, more careful, as he processed every word she said. “But what if the hybrid would be okay with that life?” he asked. His voice was gentle, but there was something underneath it. Not pressure. Not quite. Just… hope, carefully tucked between the words. (Y/n) turned her head at that, meeting his gaze fully this time. For a second, she didn’t answer. She just looked at him, really looked. The way his ears had dipped just slightly, like he was bracing himself. The way his fingers stilled against his tail, waiting.
She knew what he was doing. He wasn’t just asking a question. He was asking for himself. And she’d be lying if she said she didn’t feel it too. That pull. That quiet, persistent feeling that had been there since the moment he took her hand in that chaos. It hadn’t gone away. If anything, it had only settled deeper. But that didn’t make it simple. Her expression softened, but there was hesitation in it now, something more guarded. “Yudai…” she started, then paused, her voice catching just slightly before she found it again. “It’s not just about being okay with it.”
Her fingers curled faintly against her palm, like she was grounding herself in the thought. “Sometimes people think they can handle something,” she said carefully, “until they’re actually living it.” Her gaze didn’t leave his. “Being alone more often than not. Waiting. Not knowing when someone’s coming back.” There was a flicker of something in her eyes. Not doubt in him. Just… doubt in the situation. “I don’t want to be the reason someone feels like that,” she admitted quietly. The room fell into a softer kind of silence after that, the kind that wasn’t empty, just full of everything neither of them was quite saying yet.
Yudai nodded, but the movement was small, almost hesitant. His gaze dropped for a moment, and even though he didn’t say anything, the shift in his expression said enough. The brightness from earlier dimmed just slightly, something quieter settling in its place. His tail stilled in his lap, the earlier flicks fading into stillness. (Y/n) noticed immediately. Guilt pressed at her chest, heavier than she expected. She looked away for a second, her jaw tightening just a little. She wished, not for the first time, that things were different. That her life didn’t revolve around missions, undercover work, disappearing for days at a time without warning.
But it wasn’t something she could just walk away from. HPS needed people like her. People who could blend in, who could hold their ground in places like that circus without breaking cover. And she and Nicholas… they had spent years building that rhythm together, learning how to move, how to think, how to trust each other without hesitation. No one else at HPS had anywhere near as many successful missions as they did. That wasn’t something she could abandon.
(Y/n) leaned her head back slightly, her eyes drifting up to the ceiling as she tried to gather her thoughts. “I know what you’re asking,” she said quietly. Her voice was softer now, more careful. “And Yudai…” She lowered her gaze again, looking back at him. “I really do like you,” she admitted, the words coming easier than she expected, but no less true. “You’re… special.” Yudai looked up at her then, his eyes glazy, like he was holding onto every word she said, afraid of what might come next. “But I don’t know if I can,” she finished.
The words lingered between them. For a second, neither of them moved. Then Yudai leaned forward just slightly, his expression shifting, something hopeful pushing through the uncertainty. “We can make it work, can’t we?” he asked. His voice was soft, but there was a quiet determination there. Not forceful, not demanding. Just… believing. (Y/n)’s chest tightened. She should have said no. She knew she should have. It would have been the safer answer. The more responsible one. But when she looked at him, really looked, at the way he was watching her, waiting, hoping… She couldn’t find it in herself to say it. Instead, she exhaled softly, her shoulders easing just a little. “We can try,” she said.
For a split second, Yudai just stared at her, like he needed to make sure he heard her right. Then his expression broke into a smile, bright and unguarded, something warm rushing back into his eyes. Before she could react, he leaned forward, wrapping his arms around her in a quick, instinctive hug. (Y/n) stiffened for half a second, caught off guard, then slowly relaxed into it, her arms coming up to return it just as gently. Yudai held onto her like it meant something. Like she meant something. “You feel like home,” he whispered. The words were quiet, almost lost in the space between them, but she heard them clearly.
After a while, the quiet in the room shifted, not uncomfortable, just… aware. Time had passed without either of them really noticing, but it caught up eventually. (Y/n) let out a soft breath, glancing toward the door before looking back at him. “I should go,” she said gently. Yudai’s expression changed almost instantly. Not dramatically, but enough. His ears dipped just slightly, and his fingers curled faintly where they rested in his lap. “Oh,” he said, quieter now. She offered him a small, reassuring smile. “I’ll be back tomorrow,” she added quickly. “I just… I need to figure some things out first. Find a way to make this work.”
He studied her face for a second, searching for something, maybe reassurance, maybe certainty. Then he nodded, even if it looked reluctant. “Okay,” he said.
There was a pause, like neither of them quite wanted to be the first to move. Eventually, Yudai let go of her hand. He walked her to the door, slower than necessary, like stretching out the last few seconds. When she stepped into the hallway, he lingered there, watching her. There was something in his eyes now, something he didn’t say out loud. A quiet fear. That she might not come back. But he didn’t voice it. Instead, he gave her a small smile. “I’ll be here.” (Y/n) nodded, meeting his gaze. “I know.” And then she turned, walking down the hall without looking back, even though she could feel his eyes on her until she disappeared around the corner.
~~~
The air outside was cooler now, the evening settling in. (Y/n) stepped out of the shelter, pulling her jacket a little tighter around herself as she exhaled slowly. Her mind was already moving, turning over everything that had just happened. She didn’t wait long before pulling out her phone. Nicholas picked up on the second ring. “Miss me already?” he muttered, his voice thick with exhaustion. She huffed a quiet laugh. “Something like that. You got time to meet?” There was a pause, then a tired exhale on the other end. “Yeah… but you’re coming to me. I’m not moving.” (Y/n) smiled faintly. “Figures.” “Door’s unlocked,” he added. “Just don’t judge the state of my apartment.” “No promises,” she said, hanging up.
Nicholas’s place looked exactly how she expected. Shoes kicked off near the door. A jacket draped over the back of a chair. The faint smell of takeout still lingering in the air. The lights were dim, giving the whole space a tired, lived-in feel. He was sprawled on the couch when she walked in, one arm thrown over his eyes like he hadn’t bothered to fully sit up. “Took you long enough,” he mumbled. (Y/n) kicked off her shoes and walked further in, glancing around with a small smirk. “Wow. You really went all out cleaning up for me.” “Be grateful I’m conscious,” he shot back, though there was no real bite to it.
She huffed softly, dropping onto the couch beside him, leaning back with a quiet sigh. For a moment, neither of them spoke. Just… existed in the shared quiet. Then she turned her head slightly. “I need your opinion on something.” Nicholas shifted, lowering his arm just enough to look at her. “That sounds dangerous.”“It probably is.” That got him to sit up a little more, running a hand through his hair as he blinked away the last bits of sleep. “Alright. What’s going on?” (Y/n) hesitated for a second, then started talking. She told him about Yudai. About the conversation. About what he asked. What she said. The parts she wasn’t sure about.
Nicholas didn’t interrupt. He just listened, his expression gradually sharpening as the tiredness faded into something more focused. When she finished, the room fell quiet again. (Y/n) stared at the floor, her fingers loosely intertwined in her lap. “I just don’t know if I can give him what he needs,” she admitted. “I’m barely home half the time. And when I am, I’m usually exhausted or prepping for the next mission.” Nicholas leaned back slightly, watching her for a moment before speaking.
“It’s not always about having the perfect home on paper,” he said. (Y/n) glanced up at him. “It’s much more important to have the right heart,” he continued, his tone steady, certain. “And you have that. No question.” She frowned faintly, like she wasn’t fully convinced. “The fact that you’re even here, stressing about whether you’d be good enough?” he added. “That already puts you ahead of most people.” (Y/n) let out a quiet breath, her shoulders easing just a little. “Yeah, our job makes things complicated,” Nicholas went on, leaning forward slightly, resting his elbows on his knees.
“We disappear. We don’t have normal schedules. But we’ve made it work before. We adapt.” He glanced at her, a small, knowing look in his eyes. “And let’s be honest. If anyone could make something like this work, it’d be you.” She huffed softly. “You’re biased.” “Obviously,” he said without hesitation. “But I’m also right.” That pulled a faint smile from her. Nicholas’s expression softened just a little. “And from what you’re saying… that red panda’s already halfway attached to you.” (Y/n) looked down, thinking about it. About the way Yudai had looked at her. The way he had said he’d wait. “…Yeah,” she admitted quietly. “So it’s not just about whether you can handle it,” Nicholas said. “It’s about whether you want to.”
That made her pause. Really pause. Her gaze drifted, unfocused, as everything he said settled in. Did she want to? Images flickered through her mind. Yudai smiling when she walked in. The way he sat on the floor just to be closer to her. The quiet trust in his voice. You feel like home. Her chest tightened slightly. (Y/n) exhaled slowly, leaning back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling now. For the first time, the thought didn’t feel impossible. Complicated, yes. Difficult, definitely. But not impossible. And that was new.
Nicholas watched her, a small smirk tugging at his lips. “There it is.” She blinked, looking at him. “What?” “That look,” he said. “The one where you’ve already decided and you’re just catching up to it.” (Y/n) rolled her eyes lightly, but there was no real denial behind it. “Maybe,” she muttered. But as she sat there, turning the idea over in her mind, she could finally see it. Not just the risks. But the possibility. And for the first time since Yudai asked, it didn’t scare her quite as much.
After she left Nicholas’ place and made her way home, the city felt quieter than usual. Or maybe it was just her, too caught up in her own thoughts to notice anything else. By the time she stepped into her apartment, closing the door behind her with a soft click, the silence wrapped around her completely. (Y/n) stood there for a moment, not moving, just letting everything settle. Would it actually be possible? Could she really do this? Her eyes drifted slowly across the space, taking it in like she hadn’t seen it properly in a while. The living room was neat, familiar, everything in its place. It had always been enough for her. Functional. Comfortable.
But now she was looking at it differently. She stepped further in, setting her things down absentmindedly as her thoughts kept turning. She wanted to make it work. That part was becoming clearer with every passing second. Her gaze shifted down the hallway, landing on the closed door at the end. The spare room. It had always just been there, used occasionally when someone stayed over, otherwise untouched for weeks at a time. Slowly, she walked toward it. Her hand rested on the handle for a second before she pushed it open. The room inside was simple. A bed, a dresser, a small desk by the window. Clean, but impersonal. It didn’t feel like anyone’s space. Not yet.
(Y/n) stepped inside, looking around more carefully now, imagining instead of just observing. It wouldn’t take much to change it. A few adjustments, something more personal, something that actually felt lived in. “That could work…” she murmured to herself. Her mind kept going. Money wasn’t an issue. That had never really been a concern. She could afford it. Food, supplies, anything he’d need. That part was easy. It was everything else that made her hesitate. Her job. The unpredictable schedule. The long absences. (Y/n) exhaled softly, leaning against the doorframe as she thought.
He was active. That much was obvious. Always moving, always needing something to do. But her building had a gym. She glanced back toward the main area of the apartment, picturing it. He could use that. It wasn’t perfect, but it was something. A place for him to move, to burn off that endless energy. A small smile tugged at her lips at the thought. Then another idea followed. Yuma. Her brows lifted slightly as she straightened. He already had a hybrid of his own. He understood what it meant, what it required. And more importantly, he was someone she trusted.
“If I’m away…” she murmured, thinking it through. “He could help.” It wouldn’t be all the time. She wouldn’t ask that. But enough to bridge the gaps. Enough to make sure Yudai wasn’t alone. And knowing Yudai… He’d probably get along with Yuma’s bunny hybrid. The thought came easier than she expected. She could already picture it, in a vague way. Not perfectly, but enough to feel possible. Not just manageable. Possible. (Y/n) stepped further into the room, her fingers brushing lightly against the edge of the desk as her thoughts settled into something more solid.
Maybe it could actually work. Maybe all the things she thought were obstacles… weren’t as impossible as she had made them out to be. Her chest felt a little lighter. She turned slightly, looking back out into the apartment, seeing it differently now. Not just as her space. But something that could be shared. Something that could be a home. “Maybe…” she said quietly, almost to herself. Maybe she could give him that. A real home. A good home.
~~~
The next day, when (Y/n) arrived at the shelter, her steps slowed slightly as she entered the building. The familiar sounds greeted her almost immediately. Quiet conversations, paperwork shuffling, the occasional metallic clink from somewhere deeper in the facility. It felt calmer than it had the first night, more settled. For a brief moment, her eyes flicked toward the hallway leading to Yudai’s room. Then she forced herself to look away. Not yet.
Instead, she made her way toward the front desk, where Yuma sat half buried beneath another mountain of paperwork. This time he looked at least somewhat awake, though only barely. He glanced up when he noticed her approaching, and a small grin immediately appeared on his face. “Well, if it isn’t my favorite undercover agent.” (Y/n) rolled her eyes lightly. “You say that like you know more than three people.” “I know four, actually.” “Impressive.” Yuma huffed a laugh, setting his pen down. “You’re here early.” “Yeah.” She hesitated briefly, shifting her weight slightly. “Do you have a few minutes to spare later? Maybe lunch?” His brows lifted just slightly at the tone in her voice, curiosity flickering across his face almost immediately. “That serious, huh?” “Maybe.” Yuma glanced down at the stack of papers in front of him, visibly debating how much he cared about them. Then he sighed dramatically. “I can spare thirty minutes.” (Y/n) smiled faintly. “I’ll take it.”
The lunch place nearby was small and quiet, tucked between two larger storefronts. The kind of place that smelled constantly of warm bread and coffee, where conversations stayed low and unhurried. By the time they sat down across from each other, Yuma already looked suspiciously interested. “You’ve got that look,” he said, pointing at her with his fork before they had even started eating. (Y/n) frowned slightly. “What look?” “The one where you’re overthinking something important.” She let out a quiet breath through her nose. “That obvious?” “To people who know you? Yeah.” (Y/n) looked down at her drink for a second before finally speaking. “I’ve been thinking about adopting Yudai.” Yuma’s expression softened almost instantly, like the answer made perfect sense to him. “But,” she added quickly, “I still don’t know how to make it work.”
He leaned back slightly in his seat, listening quietly as she continued. She explained everything. Her schedule. Missions. Being away unexpectedly. The apartment. The uncertainty that still lingered in the back of her mind no matter how badly she wanted to ignore it. Yuma listened without interrupting, his attention fully on her the entire time. When she finally finished, exhaling softly like she had been carrying the thoughts around for too long, he smiled. And it was annoyingly knowing. “Oh no,” (Y/n) muttered immediately. “You’re about to say something wise, aren’t you?” “I’m always wise.” “You fell asleep on paperwork yesterday.” “And yet, I’m still right.”
(Y/n) shook her head lightly, but a small smile tugged at her lips despite herself. Yuma rested his arms on the table, his expression growing gentler. “Listen,” he said, “it’s not about having the perfect home.” Her eyes flicked up to him. “It’s about having the right heart.” The words hit differently this time, maybe because she had already heard them once before. Maybe because hearing them again made them harder to dismiss. Yuma continued before she could say anything. “And honestly? It’s pretty obvious Yudai likes you.” A faint grin appeared again. “A lot.”
(Y/n) felt warmth creep faintly into her cheeks. “Yuma.” “I’m serious,” he said with a laugh. “He barely spends time with anyone else unless he has to. Half the conversations I’ve had with him somehow end up back on you.” She looked away briefly, trying and failing not to smile a little. “There isn’t a single person here more perfect for Yudai than you,” Yuma said more softly now. That made her go quiet. Not because she didn’t want to respond. But because a part of her was finally starting to believe it. Yuma watched her for a second before adding, “And for the work thing? I’ll help you.” Her brows lifted slightly. “You would?” “Of course.” He shrugged easily. “It’s fine. You’re not asking me to raise him. Just help out sometimes when missions come up.” A small smirk tugged at his mouth. “Besides, Harua could probably use another friend around.”
(Y/n) let out a soft laugh at that, the tension in her chest easing little by little. Everything she had worried about suddenly felt… manageable. Not perfect. But real. Possible. She sat there quietly for a moment, taking a slow breath as the last pieces finally settled into place. Then she nodded once. Firmly this time. “Okay,” she said. Yuma blinked. “Okay?” (Y/n) looked up at him, and for the first time since all of this started, there was certainty in her expression of hesitation. “Okay,” she repeated, a small smile forming. “Let’s do this.” Yuma’s face immediately broke into a grin. “There she is.” He pointed at her like he had been waiting for that exact moment. “Good. Because I was already mentally preparing the paperwork.” (Y/n) laughed softly, shaking her head. “Of course you were.”
By the time they walked back to the shelter, something inside her felt lighter. Nervous, still. But lighter. Yuma peeled off toward the front desk almost immediately. “I’ll get started on everything,” he said, already pulling files toward himself. “You go talk to him.” (Y/n) nodded slowly. Then she turned toward the hallway. Toward the door she had already become far too familiar with over the last few days. Her heart beat a little faster as she approached it this time. Not from uncertainty. But anticipation. (Y/n) didn’t even have time to knock before the door suddenly opened. Yudai stood there, already smiling the second he saw her.
“Hi,” he said excitedly, the word coming out almost too fast. (Y/n) blinked once before laughing softly, caught off guard by how eager he looked. “Eager, are we?” she asked, amusement warming her voice. Yudai’s ears twitched immediately in his fluffy hair, and his tail swayed once behind him before he stepped back quickly. “Come in,” he said. “Come on, hurry.” That only made her laugh more. “Alright, alright,” she said, shaking her head as she walked inside. The room already looked more lived in compared to the first night she visited. A blanket draped messily over the bed now, a few books stacked near the window, little signs that someone was settling into the space instead of just occupying it.
(Y/n) sat down on the bed, the mattress dipping slightly beneath her weight. Then she patted the spot beside her. Yudai closed the door almost immediately before crossing the room toward her without hesitation. He sat down close beside her, close enough that their shoulders nearly touched. His fluffy tail curled naturally across the bed, ending up resting between them. (Y/n)’s eyes dropped to it automatically. Up close, it looked even softer than before, thick fur catching the warm light of the room. His ears twitched faintly again as he noticed her staring. “Can I touch your tail?” she asked. Yudai looked surprised for half a second, then nodded quickly. “Yeah.”
Carefully, (Y/n) rested her hand against the soft fur, gently running her fingers along it. Her brows lifted slightly. It was warm. Really warm. And softer than she expected, the thick fur smooth beneath her hand as it shifted faintly under her touch. Yudai visibly relaxed beside her almost immediately, his shoulders loosening as a quiet sound left him, somewhere between a sigh and contentment. (Y/n) smiled faintly to herself as she continued absentmindedly petting his tail. It kind of resembled Yudai himself. Warm. Soft. Comforting.
There was an energy to it too, subtle movements beneath her hand, little twitches every now and then that reminded her so much of him it almost made her laugh. Kind. Gentle. Fun. The thought settled somewhere deep in her chest, smoothing out the last traces of uncertainty that had been lingering there since yesterday. And before she could stop herself from overthinking it again, the words left her mouth. “I’m adopting you.” Her hand froze against his tail. Yudai froze too. The room went completely still. For a second, he just stared at her. Like he hadn’t understood the words. Or maybe like he had understood them perfectly and simply couldn’t believe them.
(Y/n)’s heart jumped slightly at the expression on his face. His eyes widened slowly, the brightness in them wavering with something much more fragile. He had prepared himself for the opposite. Prepared himself to hear no. Prepared himself for her to sit him down gently and explain why it wouldn’t work, why she couldn’t do it, why this was where things ended. He had come into today already trying to brace himself for goodbye. Like he always had to. But she wasn’t saying goodbye. She wasn’t leaving him behind. Instead, she had just opened a door he had convinced himself would always stay locked. Yudai’s lips parted slightly, but no sound came out at first. His tail twitched once beneath her frozen hand. Then again.
And suddenly his eyes looked glazy all over again, emotion rising too fast for him to hide properly. “You…” he started softly, almost breathless. “You mean it?” (Y/n)’s expression softened instantly at the sound of his voice. “Yeah,” she said quietly. The second the word left her mouth, something in Yudai cracked completely. Not painfully. Just suddenly. His ears dropped low into his hair as he looked down for a second, one shaky breath leaving him before he laughed softly under it, like he didn’t know what else to do with the feeling building in his chest. “You’re really…” He swallowed hard, looking back at her with eyes that were shining now. “You’re really taking me home?”
(Y/n) felt her own chest tighten at the way he said it. Home. Not adopting. Not ownership. Home. “Yeah,” she repeated softly, her hand finally moving again against his tail. “If you still want that.” Yudai looked at her like the question itself was ridiculous. Then, before she could react, he threw his arms around her so suddenly she almost lost balance on the bed. (Y/n) let out a startled laugh as he held onto her tightly, his face burying against her shoulder. “Yes,” he whispered immediately. “Yes, I want that.” Yuma came by the room not long after, a thick stack of papers tucked beneath one arm and a pen hooked loosely between his fingers. He paused when he stepped inside, immediately taking in the scene before him.
Yudai was sitting impossibly close to (Y/n), his tail curled halfway around her side now like he didn’t even realize he was doing it. Meanwhile, (Y/n) looked calmer than Yuma had seen her in days. A slow grin spread across his face. “Well,” he said lightly, lifting the papers slightly, “judging by the looks on your faces, I’m guessing this is good timing.” (Y/n) laughed softly, a little embarrassed now that someone else was witnessing this moment. “Something like that.” Yudai looked between them, still visibly overwhelmed, like he hadn’t fully come back down from what she had said yet.
Yuma’s expression softened slightly as he stepped further inside. “I’ve got the paperwork ready,” he explained. “Just some signatures and confirmations.” (Y/n) nodded immediately, taking the papers from him carefully. Yudai watched everything. Every page she flipped through. Every line she read. Every signature she wrote. His eyes followed the movement of her hand across the papers with almost painful focus, like he was terrified something would suddenly change halfway through. Like one wrong word might make all of this disappear. But it didn’t. Page after page, she signed. Calmly. Certainly. Without hesitation. Yudai’s chest felt tight. Too tight.
He had spent so long preparing himself for disappointment that his mind still couldn’t fully catch up to what was happening. This wasn’t temporary. She wasn’t reconsidering. She wasn’t backing out. She was choosing him. Actually choosing him. His fingers curled tighter against his lap as emotion swelled too quickly inside his chest, his ears twitching faintly where they hid in his hair. Yuma glanced at him briefly, his expression softening further before he looked back toward (Y/n). “That should be everything,” he said after the final paper was signed. (Y/n) handed the pen back, exhaling softly. “So that’s it?” “That’s it,” Yuma confirmed with a smile. Then his gaze shifted toward Yudai. “You can go home now.”
Home. The word hit him so hard he almost stopped breathing for a second. Home. Not another room. Not another cage. Not another temporary place where he waited to see what happened to him next. Home. Today. His first real home. Yudai stared at the papers in stunned silence, his thoughts suddenly too loud and too tangled to sort through properly. Then warmth touched his hand. He looked down instinctively. (Y/n)’s fingers had slipped gently around his. When he looked back up, she was smiling at him, warm and bright and real, her head tilting slightly as she spoke softly. “Let’s go home.”
Something in his chest cracked open completely after that. He couldn’t speak. Not because he didn’t want to. There were too many things trying to come out all at once. Relief. Disbelief. Happiness so overwhelming it almost hurt. Instead, he just squeezed her hand tightly. And followed her. Out the door of the room first. Then down the hallway he had slowly become familiar with over the past days. People smiled at them as they passed. A few staff members waved softly, some looking emotional themselves after hearing the news. Yudai barely noticed any of it. His attention kept drifting back to the hand holding his. To her. To the fact that she was still there. Still leading him forward instead of away.
By the time they stepped through the front doors of the shelter together, the sun had already started setting, warm golden light spilling across the streets outside. The fresh air hit him immediately. Yudai slowed without meaning to, his eyes lifting upward toward the sky. The sunset painted everything in shades of orange and gold, the light catching against windows and cars and people passing by. For a moment, he just stood there breathing it in. No handlers. No locked doors. No eyes constantly watching him. No shackles holding him back anymore. Only the warm pressure of (Y/n)’s hand in his. Freedom. Real freedom. The realization washed over him so suddenly it almost made his knees weak. His chest rose with a shaky breath as his eyes stayed fixed on the sky above him. And for the first time in his life, Yudai truly felt free.
They walked back to (Y/n)’s apartment together, their hands brushing occasionally as they moved through the evening streets. The city around them buzzed softly with life, people passing by without a second glance, completely unaware that Yudai felt like his entire world had just changed. He stayed close to her the entire walk. Quiet. Not withdrawn, just overwhelmed in a way words couldn’t quite reach yet. (Y/n) noticed, but she didn’t pressure him to speak. Every now and then she glanced over at him, offering a small smile whenever their eyes met, and every single time he looked back at her like he still couldn’t fully believe she was real.
By the time they reached her apartment complex, the sun had dipped lower, warm light fading slowly into evening. (Y/n) pulled the front door open for him, gesturing inside. “Okay,” she said lightly, trying to ease some of the intensity hanging around him. “First things first.” Yudai blinked, following her inside. The lobby was clean and modern, warm lighting reflecting softly off polished floors. A few residents passed through here and there, though none paid them much attention. Instead of heading straight for the elevators, (Y/n) guided him further down the hall. “There’s something I want to show you first.”
Yudai followed quietly beside her until she stopped in front of a large set of glass doors. Inside was a gym. Not huge, but more than enough. Treadmills lined one wall, weights and machines spread neatly throughout the room, a smaller open area toward the back with mats and space to move freely. Yudai’s ears twitched immediately. (Y/n) noticed the subtle shift in his expression and smiled faintly. “Anyone who lives in the building has access to it,” she explained. “Even hybrids. So you can use it whenever you want.”
His gaze moved slowly across the room, taking everything in carefully. “You can run around in here,” she added. “Work out. Burn off some of that endless energy.” That finally earned the faintest hint of amusement from him. Yudai nodded slowly, his tail swaying once behind him as he continued looking through the glass. He still hadn’t really spoken since they left the shelter. Not because he was unhappy. If anything, it was the opposite. Everything still felt too big inside him. (Y/n) gently nudged his shoulder with hers. “C’mon. Let me show you the actual apartment too.” He followed her back toward the elevators after that, staying close again.
The elevator ride was quiet, save for the soft hum of movement as they ascended floor after floor. Yudai watched the numbers light up above the doors while (Y/n) leaned casually against the wall beside him, occasionally glancing over at him with quiet fondness. When the doors finally opened, she led him down the hallway before stopping in front of one of the apartments. “This is us,” she said softly. Us. Yudai’s chest tightened all over again. (Y/n) unlocked the door and pushed it open, stepping inside first before turning back toward him. “Come in.” Yudai hesitated only briefly before crossing the threshold. The apartment was warm. That was the first thing he noticed.
Not physically, though it was that too. It just… felt warm. Comfortable in a way he didn’t have words for yet. (Y/n) slipped off her shoes near the door and glanced around almost sheepishly. “It’s not much right now,” she admitted. “I moved in pretty recently.” Yudai looked around quietly as she continued. The apartment wasn’t empty by any means, but it clearly wasn’t fully settled either. Some walls were still bare, certain shelves half filled, corners untouched like she simply hadn’t had time to think about them yet. “Okay, technically it’s been six months,” she corrected herself with a small laugh. “But I’ve been consumed with work for more than half that time.” Yudai finally spoke then, his voice soft after so much silence. “It’s perfect.” (Y/n) looked back at him, surprised. Yudai’s eyes settled on her, steady and sincere. “Because you’re here.”
The words hit her immediately. Warmth spread across her face before she could stop it, a helpless smile tugging at her lips as she shook her head lightly. “You really know how to say things that make it impossible not to like you.” Yudai’s ears twitched faintly, pleased by her reaction. Still smiling, (Y/n) gestured further inside. “Even so, we should decorate a bit more,” she said. “Especially your room.” She glanced down the hallway toward the spare room. “It’s extremely plain right now.” Yudai looked in that direction too, but honestly, he didn’t care if the room had nothing in it at all. Not when he was here. Not when this place already felt more like home than anywhere he had ever been before.
(Y/n) showed him around the apartment slowly after that, giving him time to take everything in instead of rushing from room to room. “It’s not huge,” she admitted as they walked further inside, “but it’s enough for two people.” Yudai followed close beside her, his gaze moving carefully over everything she pointed out. The kitchen came first. It was simple but warm, soft lighting beneath the cabinets casting a cozy glow across the counters. A few mugs sat near the sink, one noticeably chipped near the handle. The fridge had barely anything on it besides a couple magnets and a sticky note she had probably forgotten weeks ago.
(Y/n) noticed him looking. “I’m warning you now, I survive mostly on coffee and takeout when I’m working.” That finally earned a quiet laugh from him, soft and breathy, but real. Then she showed him the bathroom, apologizing immediately for the products cluttering half the counter. Yudai just nodded quietly, still absorbing everything around him with wide, attentive eyes. The living room came next. A couch sat facing the television, a blanket carelessly draped over one side from where she had probably fallen asleep there at some point. A bookshelf stood near the wall, half filled with files, books, and random things that clearly hadn’t found proper places yet.
“It still kind of looks temporary,” (Y/n) admitted, rubbing the back of her neck lightly. “I kept meaning to settle in properly, but…” “Work,” Yudai finished softly. “Yeah.” Then she showed him her room. It was the most personal space in the apartment by far. Clothes tossed over a chair, books stacked unevenly on the nightstand, a jacket hanging near the closet door. It looked lived in. Comfortable. Yudai lingered there for a second longer than the other rooms. Not because of the room itself. But because it was hers. Then finally, (Y/n) led him down the hallway toward the last door. “And this,” she said softly, resting her hand on the handle, “is your room.” She opened the door.
Yudai stopped immediately. Completely still. To (Y/n), the room wasn’t anything special. A bed neatly made with fresh sheets. A desk beneath the window. A closet against the wall. Plain walls that still needed decoration. Empty shelves waiting to be filled. Simple. But when she looked at Yudai, she realized he was seeing something entirely different. His breath caught softly. His eyes moved slowly across the room like he couldn’t take it in fast enough. A real bed. One that belonged to him. A desk where he could leave things without someone taking them away. A closet for clothes that would actually be his. Places to exist. Places to belong.
And the window… His gaze settled there longest. Large enough to let the fading evening light spill inside, overlooking the city beyond. Cars moving below, lights glowing warmly against the darkening streets, people continuing on with their lives. A world outside. One he was finally part of now. (Y/n) looked at him quietly, her expression softening more with every second. His ears twitched faintly in his fluffy hair, little uneven movements like he was trying to process too many emotions at once. His tail swayed slowly behind him at first. Then faster. And faster. The movement gradually picking up speed until it became impossible to miss how happy he was trying and failing to contain. (Y/n) felt warmth bloom in her chest at the sight.
Then suddenly Yudai turned toward her, a bright smile finally breaking fully across his face, unrestrained and overwhelming in the best way. Before she could say anything, he crossed the room quickly and wrapped his arms around her again. (Y/n) laughed softly as she hugged him back immediately, her arms settling around him without hesitation now, like it was already becoming natural. Yudai held onto her tightly, his tail practically wagging behind him now. And for the first time since bringing him here, she felt the last of her doubts disappear completely. This was right. She knew it now. Her hand slid gently into his hair for a second, fingers brushing softly near one twitching ear as she smiled against him. “Welcome home,” she whispered.
🎧 ; "cause i'm a ride or die whether you fail or fly"
synopsis: the ways minho shows you that he's forever by your side is questionable, but what if you take pride in his sick ways? | featuring: serial killer!minho , boyfriend!minho , fem!reader , mentions of murder , minho is a psychopath , swearing , pet names , part three of the 'strawberries, cherries and an angels kiss in spring' series ──── not requested , wc 728
authors note: lee knows version!!! one of the ones i was most looking forward to writing so i hope you enjoy this. if you would like a specific member for the next part please let me know! please leave feedback as this motivates me to write more. liking and reblogging would be much appreciated!!
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you knew you should’ve been running for the hills as soon as you found out what he was. but your brain couldn’t comprehend that he was like that. and for some sick reason, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave him. minho was your boyfriend of a few months, and you had fallen hard. there was something about him that was addictive, but now you know what he is, he might’ve been doing that on purpose so you wouldn’t leave him.
“y/n this doesn’t change who i am, i’m still me, this doesn’t change anything.” minho says, trying to convince you to stay with his back pressed against the door as he looked at you frantically with your bags in your hand.
“it changes everything, what the fuck are you talking about?” you furrow your brows, what possibly made this man the same man you thought you fell in love with? “i mean, was i the next victim? were you going to murder me next?”
his eyes widen slightly as he takes a step forward but stops at your flinch, “no baby, no. i would never hurt you! you have to believe me. i would never do anything to cause you any harm.” he speaks, surprisingly calm.
“how am i supposed to believe that after you’ve murdered people, minho?!” you exclaim, walking backwards as he takes a few steps towards you.
“please just don’t be afraid of me. and let me explain..” he begged, his eyebrows raised as he pleads through his eyes.
“explain? you’re trying to tell me you have a fucking reason that you killed these people?” you gasp through your words, tasting the saltiness of the tears falling to your lips.
“i know how ridiculous it sounds but yes. so please, hear me out.” he took a large step forward to hold your hand in his. “i did it for you- and before you talk please let me finish. i did it all for you, every single person. did you notice a pattern? every single person who i killed, was a bad person. they hurt you. they hurt my baby, and i couldn’t let them get away with that unfortunately. so… i got rid of them, one by one. first, your high school bully, once you told me about her i couldn’t sleep, thinking about what she did to you just hurt me so much that i couldn’t be there to help you.”
“min..” you breathe out, swallowing the saliva in your mouth out of nerves.
“wait. the girl that harassed you just because you were dating me, angered me so much because i knew you were the best thing that ever happened to me, and i didn’t need anyone getting in the way of us. your abusive ex, god, i’ve never felt adrenaline like it when it killed that fucker, he deserved that and nothing will change my mind about that. so there you go, i did it all to protect you baby.” he nods, looking at you with his big brown eyes.
you stare at him for a few minutes in silence, tears falling down your face. but your heart couldn’t help but clench at his words. he did it all for you. you were his girl. he was protecting you.
“you did all that for me?” you whispered, your hand tightening around his. a part of you was in disbelief that someone loved you that much that they would do all that for you, even though it was so wrong, you couldn’t help but feel a slight thrill. you knew how sick it was, and that you were just as sick as him if you felt like that, but you couldn’t help it.
“for you, baby.” he nods, stroking your hair whilst looking at you intently. “do you understand now? how much i love you?”
your heavy breathing was all you could hear for a few seconds before you muttered out a response, “yeah.”
“good.” minho smiles, “tell me you’re mine, baby. so i know how grateful you are.”
your eyes snapped to his at those words, those sick words. but you felt a tingle down your spine as you replied, “i’m so grateful, thank you. i’m always going to be yours, minho.” you whispered.
“good girl.” he smiled before bringing you into his embrace, “i’ll love you until the end of time.”
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Synopsis: Hyunjin asks you to go on a nature walk as a date, and you agree.
Word count: 504
Warnings: shy!Hyunjin x f!reader (as friends, possible crush), fluff, angst (maybe?), speech disfluency (stuttering, rambling, repetition)
A/N: I've been giving you mid content recently, so to make up for it, I put in a lot more effort this time!
"Hey, y/n," Hyunjin says, a tad bit nervously, over the phone.
"Hm?" you respond, concerned hearing his tone of voice. Your eyes softened as your ears perked up to listen.
"I... I've been wanting to ask you something recently..." He looks down, fiddling with the bottom of his shirt.
"Oh. Are you okay?"
"I... Yes. I'm fine. It's just... Well..." He paused. "This isn't supposed to mean anything weird or anything because we're friends and all and everything and you know that so-"
"Hyunjin," you say, voice stern.
You hear a deep breath over the call. "I wanted to know if we could go on a date."
You freeze. "A da-"
"Only as friends!" he blurts. "Only as friends," he softly repeats.
You stop and think. You could see why he was so worried, now. He's never said that he was into you before, and saying this suddenly, without knowing his intent, could complicate things.
You've only been friends for a short 4 months. You've only ever hung out in a group of friends, so not one-on-one. Him asking for this kind of alone time with you meant something. It was sweet. He wanted to know you better.
"Well...?" Hyunjin urges, eyes nervous.
"I'd love to hang out with you," you say tenderly.
You can't help but stare at Hyunjin. His skin looks slightly glowy, reflecting the bright sun's beams. The honey skin compliments his deep, brown eyes perfectly. His hair is gently draped over the sides of his face, almost as if it's clinging onto his head. Your eyes move down his body, and you look at his outfit. Basic white tee with small splatters of pastel pink paint in the corners. His baggy, light green cargo pants contrast the splotches almost perfectly.
He notices you eyeing him, and his face turns a light shade of rose. He tries to shift the focus off of himself. "You look really pretty."
You stop looking at him and quickly glance down at yourself. You're a bit confused; you look just as normal as you do daily.
"No, I don't," you respond, holding out your arms, turning them slightly to see the sun reflect off your skin. "I look like this every day."
"You're pretty every day," Hyunjin says, walking up to you. He raises his hand and brushes a strand of hair behind your ear.
"Oh." You look down, a bit startled by this action. "Thank you."
Hyunjin lets his arm fall down to your hand, and grabs it lightly. "Mind if I...?" he nods his head towards your hands.
You just stare at him.
"I think we're pretty close friends," he starts, patient. "And I like sharing intimacy through things like this..." He pauses. "Y'know, physical touch."
You understand. He just wants to get closer with you; he's comfortable enough to act like this. You accept his offering of intimacy and hold his hand back.
He grins, heart racing, and begins to lightly swing your hands back and forth. You smile.
Pairings: Autistic! Jake x Caretaker! fem! reader
Wordcount:32k
Summary:Hired to help a brilliant, autistic young man navigate a world that is far too loud, you, a newly graduated social worker learns to speak his unique language of logic, LEGOs, and quiet routines. As you become the one permanent variable that makes the static in his mind finally stop, the strict boundaries of your job description slowly blur into a profound, life-changing connection.
Warnings:Caretaker/Client Relationship (Blurring of Professional Boundaries), Autism Spectrum Representation, Sensory Overload & Severe Meltdowns, Ableism & Public Bullying, Mild Self-Harm (Frustration Stimming/Hitting Head - quickly stopped by Yn), Panic Attacks/Hyperventilating, Emotional Angst (Self-Doubt/Feeling "Broken"), Hurt/Comfort, Protective Reader, Extreme Fluff, Touch-Starved Jake, Slow Burn, First Time/Virginity Loss (Jake), Smut (M/F)(FULL CONSENT I’m not a weirdo 😒), Sensory-Focused Intimacy, Emotional Overstimulation (Happy Tears).get those tissues ready for the absolute softest boy.
A/N: can you tell I love writing for jake because I can. I did a lot of watching videos with people that have autism and this fic came to mind, how we all should treat people even if they’re different from us the same because they’re trying too! But I’m such a sappy girl.Anyways Like always Please Like, Reblog and Comment! They are very appreciated.
[Masterlist]
The diploma on your wall was still crooked. It had been hanging there for three weeks, a piece of expensive cardstock in a cheap black frame that declared you were now a Bachelor of Social Work. It was supposed to feel like a victory lap. Instead, it felt like the starting gun of a race you weren't sure you were qualified to run.
You were twenty-two years old. You had a head full of theory—systems theory, behavioral psychology, crisis intervention models—and absolutely zero real-world experience. The imposter syndrome wasn't just a whisper in the back of your mind; it was a scream.You sat at your small kitchen table, staring at the file folder the agency, New Horizons Support Services, had couriered over that morning.
Client Name: Jake Sim.
Age: 23.
Diagnosis: Autism Spectrum Disorder (Level 1/High Support Needs during sensory events). Notes: History of high caregiver turnover. Client experiences acute sensory overload. Rigid adherence to routine is required. Previous workers reported difficulty establishing rapport."High caregiver turnover." That was the phrase that stuck. In the social work world, that usually meant the client was "difficult"—aggressive, non-verbal, or physically demanding.But looking at the photo clipped to the inside of the file, you didn't see "difficult." You saw a boy—no, a young man—looking away from the camera. He wasn't smiling. His hair was a fluffy, dark brown mop that seemed to be trying to swallow his head. He was wearing a hoodie that looked three sizes too big. He didn't look aggressive. He looked… retreating. Like he was trying to fold himself into a shape that the world wouldn't notice.You closed the file. You drank your lukewarm coffee. You adjusted your blazer, which felt too stiff and too "adult," and grabbed your keys. "Okay," you whispered to the empty apartment. "Don't mess this up." The house was in a quiet suburb, the kind with manicured lawns and basketball hoops in every other driveway. It was a beige two-story with a wrap-around porch.
You parked your beat-up sedan on the street, checking your watch. 8:55 AM. Five minutes early. "On time is late, early is on time," your practicum supervisor used to say. You walked up the path, your heels clicking loudly on the pavement. You made a mental note to wear sneakers next time if you got the job. Click-clack sounds could be a sensory trigger. Think, Y/N. Think.
You rang the doorbell.It opened almost immediately, revealing a woman who looked like she hadn't slept a full eight hours in a decade. She was beautiful, with the same dark eyes as the boy in the photo, but there were deep lines etched around her mouth."You must be Y/N," she said. Her smile was warm, but her eyes were scanning you, assessing you. It was the look of a mother bear who was tired of fighting off wolves but was ready to do it again if she had to. "Hi. Yes, I am," you said, extending a hand. "It’s so nice to meet you, Mrs. Sim."
"Sarah, please," she shook your hand firmly. "Come in. Take your shoes off at the door, if you don't mind. We try to keep the outside noise… outside."
You stepped into the foyer. It was cool and smelled faintly of lemon pledge and lavender. It was aggressively tidy. Not a speck of dust, not a stray shoe.
"So," Sarah said, leading you toward the kitchen. "You've read the file?"
"I have."
"Forget half of it," she said bluntly. She leaned against the granite island, crossing her arms. "The agency writes those reports to cover their liability. They make him sound like a list of symptoms. 'Sensory processing disorder.' 'Social deficits.' It makes him sound broken." She looked at you, her expression fierce. "Jake isn't broken. He’s just… on a different frequency. He’s brilliant. He’s funny, in his own way. But he feels everything. Imagine if you couldn't turn down the volume on the world. That’s Jake’s life. Every light is a spotlight. Every sound is a siren." You nodded, listening intently. "I understand. My goal isn't to 'fix' him, Sarah. It’s to help him navigate the volume."
Sarah softened. She let out a long breath, her shoulders dropping. "The last girl… she treated him like a toddler. She used that high-pitched 'baby voice.' Jake hated it. He’s twenty-three. He’s a grown man. He just needs help with the logistics of being a grown man."
"I promise," you said seriously. "No baby voice."
Sarah smiled, a real one this time. "Okay. He’s in the living room. It’s his… sanctuary. He’s having a good morning, so he’s building. Just… go in slow. Let him come to you. If you push, he’ll shut down."
"Got it."
"Good luck," she whispered. You walked down the hallway. The floorboards were carpeted here, muffling your footsteps. The house was unnaturally quiet. No TV, no radio, no hum of appliances. You reached the archway of the living room and stopped.The room was large, with heavy blackout curtains drawn halfway, filtering the morning sun into a soft, hazy glow. The furniture was pushed to the perimeter of the room.The center of the floor was occupied by a city.There were thousands—literally thousands—of LEGO bricks. But they weren't scattered. They were organized into plastic trays by color, size, and function. Grey plates. Blue pins. Technic beams.
And sitting in the middle of it all was Jake.
He looked exactly like the photo, but realer. Vivid. He was sitting cross-legged, hunched over a massive, half-built grey structure. He was wearing a faded brown hoodie with fraying cuffs, the hood down, revealing that fluffy hair that curled slightly at the nape of his neck.He was muttering. A low, rapid-fire stream of words.
"...clutch power on the 2x4 is insufficient for the torque... need to reinforce the sub-frame... bag twelve, bag twelve, where is the axle connector..."
You took a breath. You stepped into the room.
"Hi, Jake," you said softly. He didn't flinch. He didn't look up. He didn't acknowledge you existed. His long, elegant fingers continued to snap pieces together with a rhythmic click-click-click. You remembered your training. Parallel play. Don't force interaction. Join the space. You walked over to the sofa, which was a safe ten feet away from his construction zone. You sat down slowly. You placed your bag on the floor. You didn't pull out your phone. You just sat there, hands in your lap, watching him. Minutes ticked by. Five. Ten. Most people would have been awkward. They would have cleared their throat or tried to start small talk about the weather. But you found yourself strangely captivated. There was something hypnotic about the way he worked. He wasn't playing. He was engineering. He would pick up a piece, rotate it, inspect it for flaws, and then place it with the precision of a surgeon.
He was beautiful. That was the unprofessional thought that popped into your head. He had a strong jawline, soft lips that were currently pursed in concentration, and eyelashes that were unfairly long. Fifteen minutes in, he paused. He held a long, grey Technic beam in his hand. He frowned. He looked at the instruction booklet—which was thick enough to be a phone book—then back at the beam. "The inventory is incorrect," he said. He didn't look at you. He spoke to the air. But it was an opening.
"Is a piece missing?" you asked, keeping your voice low and level.Jake stiffened slightly. He turned his head slowly, like a wary deer. For the first time, you saw his eyes. They were big. That was the only word for them. Big, dark, liquid brown eyes that held a depth of innocence that hit you right in the chest. They were "puppy eyes" in the truest sense—guileless, open, and slightly fearful.He looked at you. He blinked. He looked at your feet. He looked at your hands. Then, finally, he looked at your face.
"It’s not missing," he corrected you. His voice was smooth, deep, and sounded very matter-of-fact. "It’s the wrong molding variant. This is a 32523, but the instructions call for a 32524. The friction ridges are different. If I use this, the stabilizer fin will wobble." He held the piece out, not to you, but in your general direction.
"That sounds frustrating," you said. "A wobble would ruin the structural integrity."
Jake’s eyes widened a fraction. He pulled his hand back. "Yes. Structural integrity is the primary variable. Most people don't care about the wobble."
"Well, if you're building the UCS Millennium Falcon," you said, gesturing to the box you recognized in the corner, "you want it to be perfect. It’s a collector's item."
He froze. He turned his body fully toward you now, abandoning the LEGOs for a second. "You know the model number?" he asked. It was a test. "75192," you said. "Released in 2017. It’s the biggest set they ever made, right?"
You thanked your lucky stars for your younger brother, who had begged for this set for three Christmases in a row.Jake stared at you. He was processing this data. New girl. Not loud. Not baby voice. Knows the Falcon.
"It was the biggest," he corrected gently. "Until the Art World Map. But the World Map is just tiles. It’s 2D. The Falcon is 3D engineering. It’s superior."
"I agree," you smiled. "Maps are boring compared to spaceships."
The corner of his mouth twitched. A micro-smile. It was there and gone in a second, but you saw it. "I'm Jake," he said. He looked at your name tag, which you had clipped to your blazer. "You are Y/N."
"I am."
"Are you going to tell me to clean this up?" He gestured vaguely to the chaos on the floor. "The last one... Jenny. She said it was a tripping hazard. She made me put it in bins before I was done." The distress in his voice was subtle, but clear. He remembered the disruption of his routine. "No," you said firmly. "I am not going to make you clean it up. It’s not a mess, Jake. It’s a system. I can see you have the plates sorted by size." Jake let out a breath he seemed to have been holding since you walked in. His shoulders slumped, the tension draining out of him.
"It is a system," he whispered, relieved. "Sorted by function, then color."
He picked up the grey beam again. He looked at it, then at you.
"Do you want to... inspect the sub-frame?" he asked. "It’s very dense."
It was an invitation into his world.You stood up and walked over. You didn't rush. You sat down on the floor, crossing your legs, keeping a respectful distance.
"Show me," you said.For the next two hours, Jake Sim taught you about the physics of plastic bricks. He showed you how the internal technic frame supported the weight of the outer shell. He explained the concept of "SNOT" (Studs Not On Top) building techniques.
He didn't make eye contact often. mostly he looked at his hands or the model. But every now and then, when he was explaining a particularly clever bit of engineering, he would look up at you to see if you were following. And when he saw that you were listening—really listening, not just nodding politely—his face would light up.It wasn't a loud happiness. It was a quiet, glowing satisfaction."You're a good listener," he said abruptly, around 11:30 AM. "Thank you, Jake."
"Most people stop listening after the first sentence about gear ratios."
"I like gear ratios," you lied. Well, a half-lie. You liked him talking about gear ratios.
"Okay," he said. He turned back to the pile. "I'm hungry now. It is Tuesday. Tuesday is grilled cheese."
"Do you want me to make it?"
He paused. He looked anxious. "Do you know the cut?"
"Diagonal?" you guessed. He nodded vigorously. "Diagonal. It tastes better. The surface area of the crust is distributed more evenly."
"I can do diagonal." You went to the kitchen. Sarah was sitting at the table, pretending to read a magazine, but she was clearly listening to the silence in the living room. She looked up as you entered. "He’s... talking," she said, sounding stunned. "I heard him talking."
"He was telling me about the Falcon," you smiled, grabbing the bread. "He’s brilliant, Sarah. He knows more about engineering than I know about anything."
Sarah’s eyes welled up. She blinked them back quickly. "He likes you. He usually ignores them for the first week. Or hides in his room."
"I think we're going to get along just fine."You made the grilled cheese. You cut it diagonally. You placed it on a plate (blue, his favorite color, according to the file).
You brought it to him. He ate it sitting on the floor, wiping his hands meticulously on a napkin between bites so he wouldn't get grease on the LEGOs.
When the shift ended at 3 PM, you felt exhausted but exhilarated. You gathered your bag."I have to go now, Jake," you said.He didn't look up from bag thirteen. "Okay."
"I'll be back tomorrow."He paused. He placed a brick. Then, without looking up, he spoke."Bring sneakers," he said.
"Sneakers?"
"Your shoes," he pointed to your heels you put back on without looking. "They go click-clack. It echoes. Sneakers are quieter. Stealth mode."
You smiled. "Stealth mode. Got it. Sneakers tomorrow."
The morning sun was hitting the pavement differently today. Yesterday, it had felt like a spotlight of judgment; today, it felt like a gentle invitation.You parked your sedan in the same spot, checking the time. 8:50 AM. You were establishing your own routine: ten minutes early, park, breathe, enter. Consistency was the currency of trust, and you intended to be rich in it. You looked down at your feet. Gone were the stiff, "professional" black heels that pinched your toes and echoed like gunshots in a quiet hallway. In their place were a pair of white Converse—clean, soft-soled, and silent. You had spent twenty minutes the night before scrubbing a scuff mark off the toe, irrationally worried that a smudge might disrupt the visual harmony of Jake’s morning. "Stealth mode," you whispered to yourself, grabbing your bag. You walked up the path. You made a conscious effort to step lightly, rolling from heel to toe. The silence was noticeable. You felt less like an intruder and more like a ghost, slipping into the ecosystem without disturbing the wildlife. Sarah opened the door before you could ring the bell. She was holding a mug of coffee with two hands, looking slightly more awake than yesterday, though the tired lines were still etched deep around her eyes. She wore a soft grey cardigan wrapped tight around her frame. She looked down immediately. She saw the sneakers. A small, genuine smile touched her lips—not the polite, strained smile of yesterday, but something softer. A crack in the armor.
"You listened," she said, opening the door wider. "He asked for sneakers," you said simply, stepping into the cool, lemon-scented foyer. "I figure he knows his ears better than I do."
"You’d be surprised how many people argue with him on that," Sarah murmured, closing the door with a soft click. "They say, 'Oh, you'll get used to the noise.' As if he can just will his neurology to change."
"I'm not here to argue with him, Sarah. I'm here to work with him."
"I'm starting to believe you." She gestured toward the kitchen. "He’s eating. It’s a... process. Keep your voice low. Morning transitions are hard. His brain is still booting up." You followed her down the hallway, your rubber soles making no sound against the hardwood. The house was still unnaturally quiet, a sanctuary of stillness against the chaotic world outside. When you entered the kitchen, the scene was almost tableau-like in its precision. The kitchen was bathed in natural light, but the blinds were tilted just so to prevent any glare. At the round wooden table sat Jake.
He was wearing a different hoodie today—a navy blue one, equally oversized, the sleeves pulled down over his knuckles. He was hunched slightly over his plate, his focus absolute. On the plate were two scrambled eggs and three strips of bacon. But "scrambled eggs and bacon" didn't quite do justice to what you were seeing. The eggs were a uniform yellow—no brown spots, no runny bits. They were separated perfectly from the bacon. The bacon itself had been cut into precise, one-inch squares.Jake held his fork in his right hand. He didn't shovel the food. He speared one square of bacon, lifted it, inspected it for a brief second, and then ate it. He chewed rhythmically. He swallowed. He took a sip of water from a clear glass (no ice, you noted—ice clinks). Then, and only then, did he spear a forkful of eggs.
It was a ritual. A sequence.
"Hi, Jake," you said, pitching your voice to a soft murmur, staying near the doorway.
He paused mid-chew. He didn't look up immediately. He finished chewing, swallowed, and took his sip of water. Then, slowly, he turned his head. His hair was messy from sleep, sticking up in tufts in the back, giving him a disarmingly boyish look. His eyes were heavy, blinking slowly as they found you. He looked at your face. Then, immediately, his gaze dropped to the floor. He stared at your white Converse for a long, intense five seconds. You stood perfectly still, letting him inspect the data.
"White," he said. His voice was raspy with sleep, deeper than it had been yesterday.
"White," you agreed. "And rubber soles. No clicking."
He nodded once—a sharp, decisive chin dip. "Stealth mode active."
"Active," you smiled. He turned back to his eggs. "Acceptable." Sarah let out a silent breath beside you. She touched your elbow gently and tilted her head toward the sunroom adjacent to the kitchen. It was close enough to see him, but far enough to talk without hovering over his plate. You followed her, sitting on a wicker chair while she perched on the edge of a loveseat. She watched her son eat with a mixture of fierce love and terrified vigilance. "Okay," Sarah whispered, turning to you. "Lesson number one: The morning sets the algorithm."
You pulled a small notebook out of your bag. "I'm listening."
"Jake’s energy is a battery," Sarah explained, keeping one eye on the navy-hooded figure at the table. "Most of us start the day at 100%. We spend energy, we get tired, we sleep. Jake starts the day at maybe... 60%. Just existing costs him energy. The lights, the texture of his sheets, the smell of the coffee I’m drinking—it all costs him."
You wrote down: Baseline energy lower. High sensory tax.
"If breakfast goes wrong," Sarah continued, her voice tight, "if the eggs are slimy, or the bacon is burnt, or the spoon is the wrong weight... he loses 20% right there. Then he starts the day in a deficit. And a deficit means a meltdown is almost guaranteed by noon."
"So the routine isn't just about being picky," you said, realizing. "It’s about conservation."
"Exactly," Sarah nodded, looking grateful that you got it. "He’s controlling the variables he can control, because the rest of the world is completely out of control for him. That plate?" She pointed to his breakfast. "That’s safety. He knows exactly what the bacon will taste like. He knows the texture of the eggs. It’s predictable. Predictability is safety." You watched Jake spear another square of bacon. The deliberate nature of it made sense now. He wasn't just eating; he was grounding himself for the day ahead. "Tell me about the food," you asked. "I noticed he cut the bacon before he started." "Texture and size," Sarah said. "He has trouble with proprioception—knowing where his body is in space, and sometimes, manipulating utensils while chewing is too much multitasking. If the food is big, he worries about choking. Or getting grease on his face. He hates having a dirty face. It feels like burning to him."
"So we keep it bite-sized," you noted. "Clean face, no unexpected textures."
"And no mixing," Sarah added quickly. "The eggs cannot touch the bacon. If the syrup from a waffle touches the sausage? The whole meal is ruined. It’s contaminated."
"Separation is key."
"Yes." Sarah took a sip of her coffee, her eyes darkening slightly. "The last aide... she thought it was 'silly.' She tried to mix his corn and mashed potatoes to 'save space' on the plate. He flipped the table." You looked at the calm, quiet boy eating his squares of bacon. It was hard to imagine him flipping a table. "He felt bad about it for weeks," Sarah whispered, seeing your expression. "He cried for two days. He kept saying, 'I broke the plate, Mom. I’m bad.' He’s not violent, Y/N. He’s never hurt a fly on purpose. But when the sensory overload hits... it’s like a power surge. His body just explodes to get the feeling out."
"I read about the meltdowns in the file," you said gently. "But the file called them 'behavioral outbursts.'"
Sarah scoffed. "Behavioral implies he’s doing it to get something. To manipulate. He’s not. It’s a system crash. It’s pain. Imagine someone blasts an airhorn in your ear while flashing a strobe light in your eyes and scratching a chalkboard. That’s what a disrupted routine feels like to him. The screaming, the rocking? That’s him trying to survive the input." You looked at Jake again. He had finished his food. He was now wiping his mouth with a napkin. Once. Twice. Fold. Wipe again. "What do I do if he crashes?" you asked. "You don't talk much," Sarah said firmly. "That’s the biggest mistake people make. They try to talk him down. 'Calm down, Jake. Use your words, Jake.' He can't use his words. His language center shuts off. Talking just adds more noise."
"So... silence?"
"Presence," Sarah corrected. "Quiet, heavy presence. He responds to deep pressure. You saw the weighted blanket yesterday? He lives under that thing when he’s stressed. If he’s spiraling, don't touch him lightly—light touch feels like bugs crawling on him. But a firm squeeze? A hand on his shoulder, pressing down? That tells his brain where his body is. It anchors him." You wrote down: No light touch. Deep pressure. Silence > Words. "He’s an empath, you know," Sarah said suddenly, her voice softening. You looked up. "The file said he has 'social deficits.'"
"The file is garbage," Sarah waved a hand dismissively. "He struggles with social cues. He doesn't understand sarcasm or hidden agendas. But emotions? He absorbs them like a sponge. If you are stressed, he will be stressed. If you are sad, he will be devastated. He can't filter out other people's feelings. That’s why he withdraws. It’s too loud emotionally." She looked at you pointedly. "So, you have to be calm. Even if you’re panicking inside, you have to be a rock on the outside. If you bring chaos into this house, he will shatter." It was a heavy responsibility. You were twenty-two. You were barely an adult yourself. But looking at Sarah’s exhausted face, and Jake’s solitary figure at the table, you felt a steel rod of determination form in your spine.
"I can be calm," you promised. "I can be a rock." Just then, the chair scraped against the floor in the kitchen. Jake stood up. He picked up his plate and glass. He walked to the sink, rinsed them both, and placed them in the dishwasher. Then, he turned and walked toward the sunroom. He stopped in the doorway, his hands shoved into the front pocket of his hoodie. He looked at his mom, then at you. "Breakfast is complete," he announced. "Good job, honey," Sarah said.
Jake looked at you. His eyes were clearer now, the sleepiness gone, replaced by that keen, observant intelligence you had seen yesterday. "Are we going to the living room?" he asked you.
"We can," you said, standing up. "Or we can do something else. What’s the plan for Wednesday?"
Jake frowned slightly. "Wednesday is... mid-week. The energy is medium." He tapped his fingers against his thigh. "I want to disassemble the sub-frame of the Falcon. I dreamed about a better anchor point for the hyperdrive."
"Disassembly," you nodded. "Sounds like a plan."
He turned to leave, then paused. He looked at your feet again.
"They really are quiet," he murmured, almost to himself. "Like a ninja." Then he disappeared down the hallway. Sarah let out a laugh, a short, breathy sound. "A ninja. That’s high praise. He likes ninjas. They have discipline."
"I'll take it," you smiled.
"Go on," Sarah shooed you gently. "I'm going to actually take a shower without worrying the house is burning down. You have the conn."
"I have the conn," you repeated. You walked down the hallway, your sneakers silent on the carpet. You found Jake in the living room, exactly where you left him yesterday. He was kneeling beside the massive LEGO structure. He didn't look up when you entered, but his shoulders didn't tense up either. He knew you were there. He accepted you were there.You walked over to your spot on the sofa and sat down.
"So," you said softly. "The hyperdrive anchor. What was wrong with the old one?"
Jake picked up a section of the ship. He rotated it, his eyes narrowing in concentration. "It was too rigid," he said. "If the ship moves, the stress fractures the connector. It needs flex. The universe has flex. Ships should too."
"That’s a good philosophy," you noted. "Flexibility prevents breaking."
He looked up at you then. A long, steady look. "Yes," he said. "
People break because they don't flex. They are rigid about the wrong things."
You felt a chill go down your spine. For someone who supposedly struggled with social concepts, he had just nailed the human condition in two sentences.
"I'll try to be flexible, Jake," you said. "Good," he said. He handed you a small bucket of grey pins. "You can sort these. By length. The short ones go on the left."
It was an order, but it was also an inclusion. He wasn't just letting you watch; he was letting you help. You took the bucket. You slid off the sofa and sat on the floor—keeping a respectful three feet of distance.
"Short ones on the left," you repeated. You worked in silence for twenty minutes. It was a comfortable silence. The only sounds were the click-click of his building and the soft rattle of your sorting.
"Y/N?"
"Yeah, Jake?"
He didn't look up. He was fitting a gear into place.
"Thank you for the shoes," he said. His voice was quiet, almost swallowed by the room. "The clicking... it hurts my teeth. It makes my spine feel itchy."
"I didn't know," you said. "I'm sorry about yesterday."
"You didn't know the variable," he said simply. "Now you have the data. You updated your software."
"I did."
"That is efficient." He paused, then added, "Jenny never updated her software. She just wore the loud shoes every day." Your heart broke a little for him. You could imagine him sitting here, day after day, his spine "itching" from the sound, unable to articulate why he was so agitated, while a well-meaning but oblivious support worker clattered around him. "I will always try to update my software, Jake," you vowed. "If something hurts, you tell me. I’ll fix it."
He looked at you. He studied your face, your eyes, your posture. He was looking for the lie. He was looking for the condescension. He didn't find it. "Okay," he said.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a single, red 2x4 brick. He held it out to you. "This doesn't belong in the Falcon," he said. "The Falcon is grey and beige. This is red. It’s an anomaly." You reached out and took the brick. It was warm from his pocket. "What should I do with it?"
"Keep it," he said, turning back to his work. "It’s a good color. High saturation. But it needs to be somewhere else. You can hold it."
You closed your hand around the red brick. It felt like a token. A peace offering. A key. "I'll keep it safe," you said.You spent the rest of the morning sorting pins and listening to him explain the difference between torque and horsepower. You watched the way his hands moved, so sure and graceful. You watched the way the sun caught the gold flecks in his brown eyes.You thought about Sarah’s warning: He feels everything.You looked at the boy who was building a spaceship to escape to a galaxy far, far away, and you thought, I will make sure this room is safe enough that you don't have to leave.By lunchtime (grilled cheese, diagonal cut, blue plate), you had learned more about thermal exhaust ports than you ever thought possible.
But more importantly, when you put the plate down in front of him, he didn't just stare at the food.He looked up. He gave you a micro-smile—a tiny quirk of the lip.
"Diagonal," he noted approvingly.
"Flexibility," you countered with a smile.
"Touché," he whispered.
And as he took his first bite, you realized that the crooked diploma on your wall didn't matter. The textbooks didn't matter. This mattered. The quiet boy, the blue plate, the silent shoes, and the fragile, beautiful bridge you were starting to build, brick by brick.
The warm, soapy water in the kitchen sink was turning a pale, creamy orange—the remnants of the roasted tomato bisque you had served for lunch. You moved the sponge in slow, rhythmic circles against the bottom of the ceramic bowl, the motion meditative. Three months. It had been ninety days since you first walked into this house with your squeaky dress shoes and your imposter syndrome. Ninety days of learning that "on time" meant ten minutes early, that "quiet" meant silent, and that the world was a cacophony that Jake Sim fought to tune out every single minute of his life. Sarah had left an hour ago. It was a milestone, really. For the first two months, she had hovered. She was a ghost in the periphery—folding laundry in the next room, "checking emails" at the dining table while you and Jake were in the living room, watering plants that were already drowned. You didn't blame her. The stories she had told you about previous support workers were horror shows of incompetence and impatience. But last week, she had looked at you, then looked at Jake, who was calmly explaining the aerodynamics of a LEGO helicopter to you, and she had exhaled. A long, heavy breath that released years of tension.
"I'm going to the grocery store," she had said today, pulling on her coat. "Alone. And then... I might go to the library. I might be gone for three hours."
"Go," you had smiled, handing her keys. "We have the conn."
"You have the conn," she’d repeated, a small, terrified smile on her face.
And she had left. Now, it was just you, the soup bowls, and the faint sounds of explosions coming from the living room. You rinsed the bowl, placing it in the drying rack. You wiped your hands on the towel, taking a moment to scan the kitchen. It was spotless. Jake liked spotless. Clutter was "visual noise." If a spoon was left on the counter, he wouldn't say anything, but he would stare at it, his brow furrowed, his internal processor snagging on the anomaly until you moved it.You thought about the lunch you had just shared. Tomato soup. Pureed. No chunks. You had learned the hard way about Jake’s dietary landscape. It was a map filled with landmines.
No surprises. That was the golden rule. A piece of onion in a smooth sauce was a betrayal. A crunch in a soft food was a systemic failure. And the colors... that was a fascinating chapter in your education. Jake hated white foods. You remembered the "Cauliflower Incident" of Month Two. Sarah had been sick, so you tried to make dinner. You mashed cauliflower, thinking it was a healthy alternative to potatoes. You put a scoop on his blue plate. Jake had looked at it like it was radioactive waste. He had pushed his chair back, his breathing hitching.
"It’s a ghost," he had whispered, his eyes wide with genuine distress. "It has no data. It’s blank."
"It's cauliflower, Jake," you’d said gently.
"It’s deceptive," he’d countered, his voice trembling. "It looks like nothing, but it tastes like wet earth. It’s lying to my eyes." He hadn't eaten it. He hadn't eaten anything that night until you brought him a glass of milk. Milk was the exception. You had asked him why, fascinated by the logic. "Milk is structural," he had explained, drinking it down in three large gulps. "It builds bone density. Calcium is a metal. It’s not food; it’s construction material. Therefore, the color is irrelevant."
Logic. It was always about logic. You smiled to yourself, folding the dish towel. You checked the clock. 1:15 PM. Transition time. You walked out of the kitchen, your worn-in Converse making zero sound on the hardwood. You moved like a shadow, a skill you had perfected to avoid startling him.You stopped in the archway of the living room.The blackout curtains were drawn, creating a twilight effect that Jake preferred. The only light came from the massive 65-inch TV screen, which was currently exploding with red and blue light. Spider-Man: No Way Home. Again. Jake was sitting on the floor. He never sat on the couch when he was watching Spider-Man. He needed to be grounded, literally. He sat on the plush rug, his legs crossed, his posture rigid with focus. And he was wearing the pajamas. It was 1:15 PM on a Tuesday, but Jake was wearing a matching set of flannel pajamas covered in little Miles Morales masks. He had three sets. One with the classic logo, one with the Venom symbiote (which he only wore when he was moody), and this one.
He loved them because they were "high-tensile cotton," soft but durable, with no tags. He loved them because Peter Parker was his hero. You leaned against the doorframe, crossing your arms, just watching him.It was... cute. There was no other word for it. He wasn't just watching the movie; he was participating in it. He held a small LEGO minifigure of Spider-Man in his left hand. Every time Tom Holland shot a web on screen, Jake’s left hand would twitch, mimicking the thwip motion. It was a subtle stim, a way of processing the action. You knew why he loved Spider-Man. He had told you, in bits and pieces, over the last three months. "He has to wear the suit," Jake had said once, tracing the logo on his pajama shirt. "Because the world is too loud. The suit dampens the input. It holds him together."
"And the Spidey Sense?" you had asked. "Overload," Jake had replied, his voice serious. "When the air changes pressure. When he hears everything at once. He has to learn to dial it down. That is... relatable." Peter Parker was a boy who was overwhelmed by his own senses, who had to hide his true self to survive, who was awkward and nerdy but deeply good. Of course Jake loved him. Jake was him, just without the radioactive spider bite. On the screen, Spider-Man was swinging through New York, the camera panning dizzyingly. Jake rocked slightly back and forth, syncing his vestibular system with the movement on screen.You waited for a quiet moment in the dialogue before speaking. You never interrupted an action sequence. That was a rule. The scene changed to Peter and MJ talking on a roof. "Does the mask fit today?" you asked softly. Jake didn't jump. He knew you were there. He had probably heard your breathing change when you entered the room.
He turned his head slowly. His hair was a chaotic, fluffy halo around his head—he had shampooed it this morning, and it always got extra floofy on wash days. His big brown eyes blinked at you behind his glasses. "The mask is theoretical," he said. His voice was that familiar, soothing baritone. "But the pajamas are optimal. The flannel is at peak softness."
"They look very comfortable," you said, walking over and sitting on the sofa behind him. You didn't sit on the floor with him unless invited. "Is that the bridge scene?"
"It is the preamble to the bridge scene," Jake corrected gently. He turned back to the TV, but he leaned back slightly, resting his shoulders against the front of the sofa, right between your knees. It was a small gesture, but it meant the world. It meant you are safe. You are part of the furniture. I can rest on you. You resisted the urge to reach out and run your fingers through his hair. You knew he liked head scratches, but only when he initiated. Unexpected touch was "bugs." Initiated touch was "grounding."
"I made a discovery today," Jake said, his eyes still glued to the screen.
"Oh?"
"The soup," he said. "The viscosity was different."
Your heart skipped a beat. "Different bad or different good?"
He paused. He tapped the LEGO minifigure against his knee three times. Tap. Tap. Tap.
"Different... efficient," he decided. "You roasted the tomatoes longer. The caramelization added depth. It reduced the acidity. It was... surprisingly pleasant."
You let out a breath. "I'm glad. I tried a new recipe."
"It is approved," Jake said. "You may add it to the rotation."
"Noted. Roasted tomato bisque: Approved." He went quiet for a moment, watching Peter Parker awkwardly try to explain his feelings to MJ. "Peter is bad at talking," Jake observed. "He is," you agreed. "He gets nervous."
"He has too many variables in his head," Jake said, twisting the LEGO figure. "He wants to say 'I like you,' but his brain is saying 'villains, aunt may, geometry, web fluid.' The output gets jammed."
"Does your output get jammed, Jake?" you asked softly.
He went still. The rocking stopped. He turned his head around to look up at you, craning his neck. His face was upside down from your perspective. His eyes were wide, searching yours. "Sometimes," he whispered. "With you."
Your breath caught. "With me?"
"Yes." He blinked. "Usually, with people, the output is jammed because I don't have the script. I don't know what they want me to say. It’s... static."
He paused, thinking hard, his brow furrowing.
"But with you," he continued, "the output jams because... there is too much data. I want to tell you about the soup. And the LEGOs. And the way your shoes don't make noise. And the way you smell like vanilla and oats. It all tries to come out at once. And I get... stuck."
He looked so earnest, so frustrated by his own inability to verbalize the torrent of thoughts in his head.
"That’s okay," you said, your voice thick with emotion. "You don't have to say it all at once. You can just give me one piece of data at a time."
He seemed to consider this. He righted his head and turned back to the TV.
He reached into the pocket of his Spider-Man pajama pants. He pulled something out.
He held his hand up over his shoulder, blindly offering it to you.
"Data point one," he said.
You reached out and opened your hand. He dropped a small, plastic object into your palm. It was a LEGO piece. A translucent blue "power blast" piece that came with the Spider-Man sets. It was meant to look like energy or webbing.
"It’s a web," he explained, staring at the screen. "It connects things. It holds things together when they are falling." You closed your fingers around the small, sharp plastic. It was better than a diamond ring."Thank you, Jake," you whispered. "I love it."
"It’s polycarbonite," he added practically. "It won't break."
"Neither will we." He hummed—that happy, vibrating sound that meant he was content. He leaned harder against your legs. "Do you want a snack?" you asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence. "It’s 1:30." Jake stiffened. The snack question. It was always a gamble. "No sweets," he said immediately. "Sugar makes my teeth feel fuzzy sometimes. It makes my brain go bzzzzzt." He made a chaotic hand gesture. "No sweets," you promised. "I was thinking... pretzels? Or cheese cubes?"
"Cheese cubes," he said decisively. "Cheddar. Sharp. Cut into 1x1 centimeter blocks."
"I can do that."
"And... maybe milk?"
"Milk is structural," you recited his rule back to him.
"Correct," he said. "Milk is structural."
You stood up to go to the kitchen. Jake turned to watch you go.
"Y/N?"
"Yeah, Jakey?"
He looked at you, really looked at you, with that puppy-dog innocence that masked a profound, deep-feeling soul.
"Sarah is gone," he stated.
"She is."
"And the house is not on fire."
"Nope. No fire."
"And I am not screaming."
"You are definitely not screaming."
He nodded, a slow, satisfied movement. "This is a successful variable test."
"I think so too."
"Okay. Cheese cubes now."
He turned back to the movie, lifting his LEGO Spider-Man in the air to help Peter Parker swing across the screen. You walked to the kitchen, clutching the translucent blue LEGO piece in your pocket like a talisman. You opened the fridge and pulled out the block of sharp cheddar. You got the knife. You cut the cheese into precise, measured cubes. You thought about the last three months. You thought about the crooked diploma on your wall that you used to feel unworthy of. You didn't feel unworthy anymore. You didn't feel like a social worker "managing a case."
You felt like a web. You were holding him, and he was holding you, and together, you were swinging through the chaos of the world, one quiet, comfortable afternoon at a time. You put the cheese on the blue plate—making sure none of the cubes were touching—and poured the milk. "Coming through," you whispered to the empty kitchen. "Stealth mode active." You walked back into the living room, where the boy in the Spider-Man pajamas was waiting for you, safe in the sanctuary you had built together.
The six-month mark didn't arrive with fireworks. It arrived with a quiet, steady hum of competence. You were no longer the nervous grad with the squeaky shoes. You were Y/N, the keeper of the routine, the translator of the static, the one who knew that if the humidity was above 80%, Jake’s hair would frizz and the sensation would make him irritable unless he wore his hood up. You knew him. You knew the specific cadence of his breathing when he was happy (slow, deep) versus when he was anxious (shallow, catching in his throat). You knew that he categorized people by color auras he imagined for them—Sarah was a soft yellow, you were a "protective blue." Sarah trusted you completely now. She had started taking yoga classes on Tuesday mornings. She had gone to lunch with a friend. She was reclaiming pieces of her life because she knew that when she left the house, you had the conn. "We need apples," Jake announced one Tuesday morning. He was standing in the kitchen, staring at the fruit bowl. It contained three bananas (too ripe, brown spots—he wouldn't touch them) and one orange. Zero apples. "We do," you agreed, closing the dishwasher. "Honeycrisp. No bruises."
"The Gala ones are mealy," Jake said, a shudder running through his shoulders. "Mealy is... bad texture. It feels like wet sand."
"Honeycrisp it is." He looked at you then. He was wearing his "going out" clothes: dark jeans that were soft and worn-in, and a grey hoodie that didn't have logos. He looked calm. His hands were steady at his sides. "I can assist," he said. You paused. "You want to come to the store?"
"Yes." He nodded once, firmly. "I have calculated the variables. It is Tuesday. The store is statistically less crowded at 10:00 AM. I can select the apples myself. To ensure quality control."
It was a big step. You hadn't taken him to the grocery store in two months. The last time had been... okay, but tense. He had gripped the cart handle so hard his knuckles turned white."Are you sure?" you asked gently.
"I am operating at 90% battery," he stated confidently. "I have my hoodie. I am prepared."
"Okay," you smiled, grabbing your keys. "Let’s go on a mission."
The drive was easy. You played his favorite playlist—lo-fi hip hop beats with no lyrics. He tapped his fingers against his thigh in time with the rhythm, looking out the window at the passing trees. "The leaves are changing," he noted. "Entropy."
"It’s pretty though."
"It is acceptable decay," he conceded. You pulled into the parking lot of the massive supermarket. It wasn't too full, just as he predicted. Tuesday mornings were for retirees and stay-at-home parents. You turned off the engine.
"Okay," you said, unbuckling. "Game plan. In, apples, maybe some of that specific cheddar you like, and out. Fifteen minutes max."
"Stealth mission," Jake whispered. You got out of the car. Jake got out.
He reached into his hoodie pocket. And froze. He patted his left pocket. Then his right. Then his jeans. He turned to look at the backseat of your car. "Y/N," he said. His voice wasn't calm anymore. It had a sudden, sharp edge to it.
"What is it?" You walked around the car to him.
"My headphones," he said, staring at the empty backseat. "I... I put them on the table. By the door. I didn't pick them up."
Your stomach dropped. The headphones. The Sony noise-canceling over-ear ones. His shield. His buffer against the world. He never left the house without them.
"Oh, Jake," you said, scanning the car quickly, hoping they had just fallen. But you knew. You had seen them on the console table when you grabbed your keys. You had been so focused on making sure you had your wallet that you hadn't done the equipment check. "I forgot them," he whispered. He looked at the looming sliding glass doors of the supermarket. Suddenly, the building didn't look like a store. It looked like a monster's mouth.
"We can go back," you said immediately. "It’s a ten-minute drive. We’ll go get them."
Jake shook his head. He was clenching his fists at his sides. "No," he said. He looked at you, his brown eyes wide and pleading. He wanted to be brave. He wanted to show you he could do it. "No. It’s Tuesday. 10:00 AM. Low crowd density. I can do it. I have to flex."
"Jake, you don't have to flex on this. The store is loud."
"I can do it," he insisted, his voice rising slightly. "If we go back, we lose the window. The crowd density increases after 11:00. We are here. I am capable."
He looked so determined. He pulled his hood up over his head, tightening the strings until only his nose and eyes were visible.
"Hood up," he muttered. "Muffled." You hesitated. Every instinct in your social worker brain said abort mission. But every instinct in your heart wanted to support his autonomy. He was an adult. He was telling you he could handle it. "Okay," you said, your voice low. "But the second—the second—you feel the static getting too loud, you squeeze my hand three times. And we leave. We leave the apples, we leave the cart, we just go. Deal?" "Deal," he said. "Three squeezes. Emergency exit." He took a deep breath, puffing out his cheeks. "Let’s execute." The mistake became apparent the moment the automatic doors whooshed open. You had forgotten how aggressive a grocery store is. You filtered it out—your brain ignored the hum of the freezers, the beep of the scanners, the squeak of cart wheels, the generic pop music playing over the PA system. But for Jake, without his headphones, there was no filter.
He flinched as we stepped onto the linoleum. The air conditioning blasted him, a physical wall of cold air.
"Okay?" you checked, moving close to his side.
"Buzzy," he muttered, keeping his head down. "Lights are... flickering. 60 hertz cycle."
"We'll be fast," you promised. "Produce is right here."
You steered him toward the apples. He kept his hands shoved deep in his pockets, his shoulders hunched up to his ears. He was making himself small.
"Honeycrisp," you said, grabbing a plastic bag. "Help me pick three good ones."
He focused on the task. The task was a lifeline. He inspected the apples with intense scrutiny, turning them over in his hands.
"Bruise," he whispered, rejecting one. "Soft spot."
He found three perfect apples. He placed them in the bag gently.
"Good," he said. "Done."
"Okay. Cheese next? Aisle four."
"Aisle four," he repeated. "Dairy. Cold."
You started walking. The store was indeed mostly empty, but 'mostly' isn't 'completely'.
A cart rattled past us. One of the wheels was stuck, making a rhythmic thud-squeak-thud-squeak sound.
Jake winced. He pressed his shoulder against yours. You leaned back into him, offering your solidity.
"Almost there," you murmured.
We turned into Aisle Four. And that’s when the variables shifted. An employee was restocking the yogurt. He was tossing the plastic containers onto the shelf. Clack. Clack. Clack. At the other end of the aisle, a price scanner beeped loudly. BEEP. And then, the intercom crackled to life. "Price check on register three. Clean up in aisle nine." The voice was distorted, loud, and metallic. It echoed off the high industrial ceilings. Jake stopped walking. "Jake?" you whispered.He didn't answer. He was staring at the yogurt cups. His breathing had gone shallow. In-in-out. In-in-out. "Too many," he whispered. "Too many layers."
"Okay," you said instantly. "We're done. Let’s go."
You reached for his hand.But then, the final variable dropped. A woman turned the corner into the aisle. She was pushing a stroller. Inside the stroller was a baby.
The baby wasn't just crying. It was shrieking. It was that high-pitched, piercing wail that evolution designed to be impossible to ignore. It cut through the air like a jagged knife.Jake gasped. It sounded like he had been punched in the stomach.
His hands flew out of his pockets and slapped over his ears, pressing the fabric of his hood tight against his head. "No," he whimpered. "No no no."
"Jake," you said, stepping in front of him. "Look at me. Eyes on me." But the baby screamed again. A sharp, fluctuating cry. Jake’s knees buckled.
He didn't fall; he crumbled. He dropped straight down to the cold linoleum floor, curling into a tight ball. He tucked his head between his knees, his hands clamped over his ears so hard his knuckles were white. "Make it stop," he keened. It was a high, thin sound of pure distress. "It’s needles. It’s needles in my ears."
The woman with the stroller stopped. She looked at the grown man curled on the floor. She looked at you.
"Is he okay?" she asked, her voice loud, concerned but intrusive.
"He's fine," you said, your voice sharp, protective. "Please, just keep moving. The noise." She looked offended, but she pushed the stroller away. The crying faded, but the damage was done. Jake was rocking now. Fast. Forward and back. Forward and back. Thump. His head hit his knees. Thump. "Jake," you said, dropping to your knees beside him. You abandoned the cart. You didn't care about the apples. "Jake, I'm here. I'm right here." He couldn't hear you. The static had swallowed him. He was in the red zone. System failure. You saw the panic in his posture. He was hyperventilating, gasping for air that felt too thick to breathe. The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead, a relentless strobe to his overloaded brain.You knew what you had to do.You moved in. You sat on the floor behind him, wrapping your legs around his waist, pulling his back against your chest.
You wrapped your arms around his chest, over his arms, locking your hands together.
And you squeezed. "Deep pressure," you whispered into his hood. "I've got you. I am the shield." You squeezed him with everything you had. You compressed his ribcage, grounding him. He fought it for a second, his body rigid and trembling, radiating heat. He let out a sob—a broken, terrified sound. "Hurts," he choked out. "Everything hurts."
"I know," you murmured, resting your chin on top of his hooded head. "I know, baby. Transfer it to me. Give me the noise." You started to rock with him. You synchronized your movement with his. Forward. Back. Forward. Back.People were staring. A manager was walking over, looking concerned.You held up one hand, palm out. Stop.
The manager paused. He saw the way you were holding him. He nodded once and backed off, diverting traffic away from the aisle. Thank god for small mercies.
"Breathe with me," you commanded softly, pressing your sternum against his spine. You took a deep, exaggerated breath. In. You held it. Out. Jake struggled. His breath was catching in jagged hiccups. "Focus on my arms," you said. "Feel how heavy they are. Feel the floor. The floor is hard. You are here. You are Jake. I am Y/N."
"Y/N," he gasped. It was a lifeline.
"That’s right. I'm right here. I forgot the headphones, Jake. I’m so sorry. I messed up. But I’ve got you now." He was shaking violently, the adrenaline crash hitting him.
We sat there on the floor of Aisle Four for what felt like an eternity. It was probably ten minutes. Slowly, the rocking slowed. His hands, still clamped over his ears, loosened their grip slightly.
"Static," he whispered. "It’s... lowering."
"Good. Keep breathing."
"The baby?"
"Gone. The baby is gone."
He slumped back against you, his weight fully supported by your chest. He was exhausted. A meltdown burned energy like a marathon. "I fell down," he whispered, shame creeping into his voice. "You sat down," you corrected firmly. "You did what you needed to do to survive the input. That is valid."
"People are looking."
"Let them look. They’re just jealous of how good I am at hugging."
He let out a weak, watery huff of laughter. It was a tiny sound, but it broke the tension. "Okay," you said, loosening your grip just a fraction. "Can we move? Or do we need more time?"
"Car," he said immediately. "I want the car. The bubble."
"Okay. We're going to the car. Do you want to walk, or do you want me to help you?"
"Help," he whispered. "My legs are... jelly. The signal is weak."
"I've got you."
Standing up was an ordeal. You had to hoist him up, his arm draped heavy over your shoulders. He kept his head down, eyes squeezed shut, hiding inside his hood.
You left the cart with the apples and the cheese. You didn't look back.
The walk to the exit was a gauntlet, but you moved fast. You glared at anyone who lingered too long with their gaze. Move along, your eyes said. This is my person.
When the automatic doors whooshed open, the humid, real air hit you. It was better than the recycled freeze of the store.
You got him to the passenger side. You opened the door. He practically collapsed into the seat. You ran around to the driver's side and got in. You locked the doors. You didn't start the car. You just sat in the sudden, blessed silence of the sedan.
Jake pulled his knees up to his chest, curling into a ball on the seat. He pulled his hood down further. "I failed," he said. His voice was muffled and thick with tears.
"No," you said, turning to him. "No, you didn't."
"I did," he insisted, a sob breaking through. "I said I could do it. I said I could flex. But I broke. The baby cried and I broke." He turned his head to look at you, and your heart shattered. His face was wet with tears, his eyes red and swollen, looking at you with such profound disappointment in himself. "I wanted to be good for you," he whispered. "I wanted to show you I could be normal." You unbuckled your seatbelt. You reached across the console. You couldn't hug him fully, so you put your hand on his knee and squeezed hard. "Jake," you said fiercely. "You are good. You are so good. You don't have to be 'normal.' Normal is boring. Normal is overrated."
"But I ruined the mission. No apples."
"Screw the apples," you said. "Jake, look at me."
He blinked at you. "This was my fault," you said. "I forgot the headphones. I am the support worker. It is my job to check the equipment. I sent you into a construction zone without a hard hat. Of course it hurt. That’s not you failing. That’s physics."
"Physics?"
"Yes. If you pour too much water into a cup, it spills. The store poured too much noise into your ears. You spilled. That’s just cause and effect."
He sniffled, processing this logic. "So... I didn't malfunction?"
"No. Your sensors were just overwhelmed. And you know what? You signaled. You didn't scream at the lady. You didn't throw the yogurt. You sat down. That was control."
He wiped his nose on his sleeve. "It felt like dying."
"I know," you softened. "I know it did. And I am so, so sorry I let that happen to you."
He looked at your hand on his knee. He reached out and covered it with his own. His hand was cold and clammy. "You squeezed me," he said softly.
"Always."
"You blocked the noise. You felt like... a wall."
"I will always be your wall, Jake." He looked up at you then, and the look in his eyes was so open, so raw, it took your breath away. It wasn't the look of a client looking at a worker. It was the look of a man looking at his safe harbor. "I don't like it when you're sad," he whispered, reaching up to touch your cheek. You hadn't realized you were crying until he brushed a tear away with his thumb. "I'm not sad," you lied, your voice wavering. "I just... I hate seeing you hurt."
"I'm okay now," he said. "The static is gone. You're here."
He leaned his head across the center console, resting it awkwardly on your shoulder. It wasn't comfortable, the gear shift was digging into his side, but he needed the contact.
"Can we go home?" he asked. "To the blanket?"
"Yes," you sniffed, resting your cheek on his head. "Home. Blanket. And I’m ordering pizza. No cooking tonight."
"Pizza," he agreed. "Pepperoni. Symmetrical distribution."
"Symmetrical distribution," you promised.
You started the car. The engine purred to life. As you drove out of the parking lot, He reached over and took your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. He squeezed three times.
Thank you
It was the signal you had established for "emergency exit," but in the quiet of the car, with the sun filtering through the trees, it felt like it meant something else entirely.
You squeezed back three times.
You're Welcome
You drove home in silence, hand in hand, the apples forgotten, but the trust between you stronger than any reinforced concrete. You had weathered the storm. You had survived the spill. And you knew, with absolute certainty, that as long as you had the conn, he would always be safe.
The plan for New Year’s Eve was simple, safe, and delightfully boring. You were going to wear your ugliest, most comfortable sweatpants, order an obscene amount of pad thai, and binge-watch the new drama that had dropped on Netflix. You had bought a bottle of cheap sparkling cider (because champagne gave you a headache) and planned to be asleep by 12:05 AM. You were looking forward to the silence. After 9 months of working as a support specialist—a job that required hyper-vigilance, constant emotional regulation, and a lot of noise management—silence was a luxury.
Then, at 9:45 PM, your phone buzzed.
Caller ID: Sarah Sim.
Your stomach did a little flip. Sarah never called after hours unless something was wrong. You answered immediately, pausing the drama where the lead actors were staring longingly at each other in the rain. "Sarah? Is everything okay?"
"Y/N, I am so sorry," Sarah’s voice was breathless, pitched high with stress. In the background, you could hear the distinct panic motion. "I hate to do this to you on a holiday. I really, really hate it."
"Sarah, breathe. What’s going on?"
"It’s my sister. Linda. She slipped on some ice in her driveway and... well, it looks like she broke her hip. She’s at the ER, and her husband is out of town on business, and the kids are..." She trailed off, a jagged sound of frustration escaping her. "I have to go. I’m preparing to go there now. But I can't take Jake. The ER waiting room on New Year's Eve? It would be a nightmare. The sirens, the people, the smell of antiseptic... he’d spiral before we even checked in."
"Say no more," you said, already standing up and reaching for your keys. "I’m coming over."
"Are you sure? It’s New Year’s. You must have plans. You’re twenty-three, you should be out at a party."
You laughed, grabbing your coat. "My plans involved noodles and pajamas, Sarah. I’m not missing anything. I’ll be there in twenty minutes."
"Thank you," she sobbed, a sound of pure relief. "Thank you. He’s... he’s anxious. The fireworks have started early in the neighborhood. He’s got his headphones on, but he’s pacing."
"I’ve got him," you promised. The drive to the Sims' house was a gauntlet of festive chaos. Even though it wasn't even 8:00 PM yet, the suburbs were alive. You saw teenagers running on lawns with sparklers, and every few minutes, a distant pop-pop-pop of firecrackers echoed off the houses.
You gripped the steering wheel tighter. You knew exactly what those sounds were doing to Jake. To him, a firecracker wasn't a celebration. It was a sonic assault. It was unpredictable, sharp, and threatening. It was a breach of the peace he worked so hard to maintain. When you pulled into the driveway, Sarah was already standing on the porch. The front door was open behind her, spilling warm yellow light onto the snow-dusted concrete. She had her purse over one shoulder and her car keys clutched in her hand like a weapon. She looked exhausted, her hair pulled back in a messy bun, wearing a coat over what looked like lounge clothes.
"You made good time," she said as you walked up the path, your sneakers silent on the pavement.
"Traffic was light," you said. "Go. Go take care of your sister. Don't worry about anything here."
"He’s in the living room," Sarah said, glancing back at the house. "He ate dinner—chicken nuggets, oven-baked, no sauce. He’s... rigid tonight. The noise is getting to him. He keeps checking the windows."
"I'll handle it," you assured her. "We'll build a fort if we need to. We'll turn up the white noise."
She squeezed your arm, her eyes wet. "You're a lifesaver, Y/N. Happy New Year."
"Happy New Year, Sarah."
She hurried to her car, and you watched her back out before you turned to the house. You took a deep breath, shaking off the cold and the residual stress of the drive, and stepped inside.The transition was instant. The outside world was a cacophony of wind and distant explosions. Inside, it was a sanctuary. The air smelled of lemon and old books. It was warm.You locked the door behind you, turning the deadbolt with a soft click. "Stealth mode active," you whispered to yourself, toeing off your shoes and leaving them on the mat.You walked down the hallway. The house felt different at night. The shadows were longer, the silence heavier. You could feel the tension in the air, a static charge that radiated from the living room. You reached the archway.
The blackout curtains were drawn tight, sealing the room against the flashing lights outside. The only illumination came from the TV screen. Jake was sitting on the couch.Usually, he sat on the floor with his LEGOs, or in his recliner. But tonight, he was curled up in the corner of the sofa, knees pulled to his chest.
He was wearing a blue hoodie you hadn't seen before. It looked incredibly soft, a velvet-touch fabric that caught the light of the TV. His pajama pants were a dark plaid flannel. He had his big Sony headphones on, but they were slightly askew, as if he had been adjusting them frequently.He was watching Big Hero 6. The scene where Baymax and Hiro are flying over San Fransokyo at sunset. It was a quiet, visually stunning scene.
He didn't hear you come in.
You stood there for a moment, just watching him. He looked small. He was a grown man, broad-shouldered and tall, but curled up like that, protecting his vital organs from the invisible threat of the noise, he looked like the boy in the file photo from six months ago.You stepped into his line of sight, moving slowly so you wouldn't startle him.Jake’s head snapped up. For a second, there was fear in his eyes—a deer-in-headlights look. Then, recognition flooded in. His face transformed. The tension in his jaw released. His shoulders dropped three inches.
His eyes—those big, expressive, puppy-dog eyes that had hooked you from day one—lit up. It wasn't a dramatic smile; it was a softening. A light turning on in a dark room. He pulled his headphones down around his neck.
"Y/N," he said. His voice was rough, like he hadn't spoken in hours.
"Hi, Jake," you said softly, walking over to the couch. "Your mom had to go help her sister. So you're stuck with me tonight."
"I am not stuck," he corrected immediately, uncurling his legs. "This is an upgrade. Mom is stressed. Her aura is jagged yellow. You are blue. Blue is calm."
You smiled, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch, giving him space but close enough to be an anchor. "I'm glad I'm blue. How are you holding up? It’s loud out there." Jake frowned, looking toward the curtained window.
"The explosions are irregular," he murmured. "There is no pattern. Pop. Then silence. Then boom. My brain tries to predict the next one, but it can't. It’s a broken algorithm."
He picked at the fuzz on his blue hoodie. "I hate the sound. It vibrates in my teeth."
"I know," you said sympathetically. "It’s the worst kind of noise."
"But..." He hesitated. He looked at the TV screen, where colorful lights were dancing. "I like the data. I like the chemistry."
"The chemistry?"
"Strontium carbonate," he said, listing it like a fact from a textbook. "That makes red fireworks. Barium chloride makes green. Copper chloride makes blue. It’s just burning metal. It should be beautiful. Physics is beautiful."
He looked at you, his expression wistful and sad. "I want to see the chemistry. But I can't handle the physics of the sound wave."
Your heart gave a little tug.You thought about the parking lot downtown. The one on the hill that overlooked the river. It was a popular spot, but if you stayed in the car...
An idea formed."Jake," you said slowly. "What if I told you there was a way to see the chemistry without feeling the sound wave?" He tilted his head. "That is impossible. Light and sound travel together. Well, light is faster, but the sound always arrives."
"Not if we're in a bubble," you said. "My car. It’s insulated. If we drive to the lookout, park, roll the windows up tight, turn on the heater, and put your headphones on... you’d see them through the windshield. But you wouldn't hear the boom. Or at least, it would be a tiny thud. Not a bang."
He stared at you. You could see the gears turning behind his eyes. He was calculating the risk. "The car is a Faraday cage," he whispered. "For sound."
"Exactly. A shield." He looked at the window, then back at you. He trusted you. You had established that over six months of grilled cheese sandwiches and LEGO builds. You were the one who saved him in the grocery store. You were the one who brought the frozen peas for his headache.
"Can I bring my blanket?" he asked.
"Yes."
"And the headphones?"
"Non-negotiable."
He took a deep breath. He stood up. He smoothed down the front of his soft blue hoodie.
"Okay," he said. "Let’s go to the bubble."
The preparation for the expedition was precise.
Jake put on his shoes (velcro, no laces to trip on). He grabbed his grey weighted blanket. He put his headphones on, checking the battery life (84%—acceptable). He grabbed a small bag of pretzels, just in case he needed to chew to regulate his jaw tension.
You walked him to your car. The cold air bit at your cheeks. Somewhere down the street, a firecracker went off—a sharp CRACK. Jake flinched violently, stopping in the middle of the driveway. His hands flew to his ears over the headphones.
"Hey," you said, stepping in front of him, blocking his view of the street. "Eyes on me. Look at my coat. Look at the buttons." He focused on your coat. He breathed in. He breathed out.
"Car," he gasped.
"Car," you agreed.
You got him inside and slammed the door. You ran to the driver's side and got in. You immediately cranked the heater and turned on the radio to a classical station—low, steady cello music. "Status?" you asked, looking at him. He was adjusting his headphones. He pushed the noise-canceling button. The world outside muted.
"Status green," he said, though his voice sounded far away to himself. "The seal is tight."
"Okay. We're moving."
The drive to the lookout took twenty minutes. The traffic was light; most people were already at their parties. You drove carefully, avoiding potholes, keeping the ride as smooth as possible. Jake sat in the passenger seat, clutching his weighted blanket to his chest. He watched the streetlights pass by, counting them under his breath.
"You look nice," he said suddenly. You glanced at him, surprised. You were wearing sweatpants and a puffy coat. You had zero makeup on. "I look like a marshmallow, Jake."
"No," he said seriously. "Your face is... nice. And you look calm. You always look calm. It makes the inside of the car feel slow."
"Slow is good?"
"Fast is scary. Slow is safe. You feel safe."
You felt a flush rise to your cheeks that had nothing to do with the heater. "Thank you, Jake. You look nice too. That hoodie looks very soft."
He looked down at his chest. He rubbed the fabric. "It is velvet-fleece blend. Sarah bought it. I usually only wear hoodies with zippers, but this one... the texture is superior. It feels like a cat."
"A cat hoodie. I like it." You reached the lookout. It was a large paved lot on a bluff overlooking the River. Across the water, the city skyline was lit up. There were other cars parked there, facing the river, their engines idling, mist rising from their tailpipes.
You found a spot near the edge, away from a truck that was blasting bass-heavy music. You put the car in park. "We have arrived," you announced.
Jake leaned forward, peering through the windshield. The view was panoramic. The dark water reflected the city lights, creating a shimmering mirror.
"The vantage point is optimal," he noted.
"We have about fifteen minutes until midnight," you said, checking the dashboard clock. 11:45 PM.
"Fifteen minutes," Jake repeated. "900 seconds."
He leaned back, relaxing slightly. He pulled the weighted blanket up so it covered his chin, leaving only his eyes and nose visible. He looked like a cozy, anxious turtle. "Y/N?"
"Yeah, Jake?"
"Why are you here?"
The question caught you off guard. "What do you mean?"
"It’s New Year's Eve," he said. "The social convention is to be at a gathering. Drinking ethanol. Counting down with many people. You are twenty-three. The data suggests you should be partying." He turned his head to look at you. His eyes were searching yours in the dim light of the dashboard.
"I didn't want to be at a party," you said honestly. "Parties are loud. And the floor is usually sticky. And you have to talk to people you don't know."
"You don't like loud?" Jake looked surprised.
"Not really. I do it for work, but... I like quiet. I like slow."
"Like the car."
"Like the car." You turned in your seat to face him fully. "And besides... I’d rather be here. With you." Jake went still. He stared at you. You could see him processing the statement, turning it over in his mind, looking for the hidden meaning.
"With me?" he whispered. "But I am... work."
"No," you shook your head gently. "You stopped being just work a long time ago, Jake. We're friends. Right?"
He blinked. "Friends."
"Yes. And I like hanging out with my friend. Especially when he teaches me about strontium carbonate." A slow, shy smile spread across his face. It started at the corners of his mouth and reached his eyes, crinkling them. He snuggled deeper into his blanket. "Friends," he tested the word. "That is... acceptable. Highly acceptable."
He looked back out the windshield. "Sarah says friends don't get paid to hang out."
"Well, tonight I'm not getting paid," you lied (technically the agency would bill for this, but the sentiment was real). "Tonight I’m just Y/N."
"Just Y/N," he echoed. "And just Jake."
"Just Jake."
The dashboard clock clicked to 11:59 PM.
"One minute," you said. "Sixty seconds."
Jake tensed up. He pressed his hands over his headphones, ensuring the seal was perfect. "The bubble holds," he whispered to himself.
"The bubble holds," you confirmed.
Across the river, in the city center, a single flare shot up into the sky. A white streak against the black. Then—bloom. A massive golden sphere exploded in the air. It was huge, glittering, and silent. Inside the car, you heard nothing. Just the cello music and the heater. Jake flinched visually when the light exploded, his shoulders jerking up. He waited. He braced himself for the boom.
One second. Two seconds. No boom. Just a soft, dull thud that vibrated vaguely in the floorboards, barely noticeable. Jake let out a breath. His shoulders dropped.
Another one went up. Red this time. Strontium carbonate. It burst into a heart shape.
Jake leaned forward. He pressed his hands against the dashboard. His eyes went wide. "Red," he breathed. Then came the finale. The sky erupted. Greens, blues, purples, golds. It was a chaotic, beautiful mess of chemistry and light. The river below caught the reflections, doubling the show.
You weren't watching the sky.
You were watching Jake.
The colored light from the fireworks washed over his face in waves—blue, then red, then gold. His glasses reflected the explosions, making his eyes look like they held galaxies.
His mouth was slightly open in awe. The fear was completely gone, replaced by a childlike wonder that was so pure it made your chest ache. He wasn't the anxious young man in the grocery store aisle. He wasn't the client with the file. He was just a boy loving the lights.
He looked beautiful.
The soft slope of his nose, the messy hair falling over his forehead, the way his eyelashes caught the light. You felt a swell of emotion so strong it almost knocked the wind out of you. It wasn't just affection. It wasn't just protectiveness.
It was love. You had known it for a while, but here, in the quiet bubble of the car, with the new year raining down in sparks of fire, it felt undeniable.
Suddenly, Jake turned his head.
He caught you staring. Usually, when you were caught staring, you would look away. You would check your phone. You would pretend you were looking past him.
But tonight, you didn't. You held his gaze. The fireworks were still exploding behind him, framing his silhouette in halos of light.Jake looked at you. He saw the way you were looking at him. He didn't flinch. He didn't look down at his shoes.
He smiled.It wasn't his polite smile. It wasn't his nervous smile. It was an innocent, soft, intimate smile that said I see you seeing me, and I am okay with it.
He reached up and pulled one side of his headphones back, just an inch, breaking the seal.
"Happy New Year, Y/N," he said softly.
The cello music swelled. The heater hummed.
"Happy New Year, Jake," you whispered.
He didn't put the headphone back. He kept looking at you. His gaze dropped to your lips, then back up to your eyes. It was a fleeting glance, one he probably didn't even realize he made, but you saw it.
"The chemistry is beautiful," he said.
"Yeah," you breathed, looking right into his brown eyes. "It really is."
He held your gaze for another long second, the air between you thick and warm and incredibly soft. It felt like the start of something. Not a frantic race, but a slow, steady walk.Then, he turned back to the windshield as a massive blue weeping willow firework drifted down toward the water. "Copper chloride," he noted, sliding his headphone back into place. But he reached out his hand, the one not holding the blanket, and placed it palm-up on the center console.
It was an invitation. You reached out and placed your hand in his.
His fingers closed around yours. His hand was warm. He squeezed three times.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
You squeezed back three times.
The fireworks ended. The smoke drifted over the river. The year turned over.
But in the quiet car, holding Jake’s hand while he hummed a happy little tune under his breath, you knew the best part of the year had already begun. The new year didn't come in with a bang. It came in with a soft, steady warmth, wearing a blue hoodie and holding your hand.
March arrived with a slow, hesitant thaw, washing away the stubborn winter snow and leaving behind a world that felt raw, muddy, and ready to wake up.
It had been months since you first walked up the driveway of that quiet suburban home, a fresh-faced social work graduate clutching a file folder that tried to summarize a human being into a list of clinical symptoms. Back then, you had been terrified of making a mistake, of wearing the wrong shoes or breathing too loudly. Now, as the first hints of spring began to show through the living room windows, you navigated the complex, beautiful landscape of Jake Sim’s life with a quiet, practiced confidence.
You were officially his support worker. But unofficially, you had become his translator, his anchor, and his closest confidante. The boundaries of your job description had blurred into a deep, unwavering affection. You weren't his girlfriend—you strictly maintained your professional role, aware of the ethics and the fragile nature of his trust—but the feelings you harbored for the twenty-four-year-old were a warm, heavy reality in your chest that you could no longer deny.
Over the winter, the walls Jake had built to protect himself from a world that was too loud, too bright, and too unpredictable had slowly begun to lower. He was more trusting now. The rigid, closed-off young man from the file was gone, replaced by someone who sought out your presence.
You knew him completely. You knew his dietary map so well you didn't even need to consult the notes Sarah had left you on your first day. You knew he despised the texture of anything "mealy," like certain types of apples or boiled potatoes. You knew he had a strict rule against white-colored foods because they felt "deceptive" to his brain, with the sole exception of milk, which he categorized as "structural calcium" rather than a beverage. You had even managed to successfully introduce new variables into his routine. It had happened on a quiet Tuesday in early March. You had taken a massive gamble and driven him to a small, dimly lit Mexican restaurant on the edge of town for a late lunch. Jake had been rigid in the passenger seat, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his gray hoodie.
"Spicy is a pain signal," he had informed you, his brow furrowed anxiously behind his glasses. "Capsaicin tricks the brain into thinking the tissue is burning. I do not wish to be tricked. My baseline for sensory input is already at capacity."
"I promise we won't get anything spicy," you had assured him, parking the car in the empty lot. "But they have chips. Corn chips. And I think you’ll like the texture. They're uniform and crunchy." He had agreed to the mission, trusting you enough to step inside. The restaurant was practically deserted, which kept his anxiety at bay. When the basket of warm tortilla chips arrived, Jake had inspected one like a scientist examining a new element. He noted the uniform triangle shape. He took a tiny bite.
The loud, satisfying crunch made his eyes widen. He hummed, a low vibration of approval in his chest.
Then, you introduced the mild salsa. You explained that it was blended completely smooth—no hidden chunks of onion or tomato to surprise his palate. He had dipped the microscopic corner of a chip into the red sauce. He ate it. He blinked, processed the flavor profile, and dipped again, a little deeper this time.
"The acidity of the tomato cuts through the oil of the corn chip," he had observed, looking at you with a profound sense of realization. "It is mathematically balanced. It is... highly acceptable."Chips and smooth salsa had instantly become a staple. You started keeping jars of it in the pantry, and he would happily eat it as a snack while watching his shows.That same evening, the shift in his trust had become distinctly physical. You were sitting on the couch in the living room, the blackout curtains drawn, watching an animated movie.Usually, when you watched movies, Jake would either sit on the floor, grounded on the rug, or he would sit on the far end of the sofa, leaving a careful, deliberate two-foot gap between you. He wasn't big on physical proximity unless he was in the middle of a meltdown and needed deep pressure to ground himself.But that night, he had sat down on the sofa and looked at the gap. He looked at you. And then, he scooted over.He didn't press flush against you, but the gap shrank to a mere inch. You could feel the warmth radiating from his arm. When he leaned forward to watch a visually intense scene, his shoulder brushed against yours, and he didn't pull away.You had frozen, your heart doing a strange, fluttering tap-dance against your ribs. You didn't pull away, but you didn't push closer, either. You just sat there, hyper-aware of his presence, feeling incredibly honored that he felt safe enough to let his guard down and share your personal space.
A few days later, a new sensory challenge presented itself.
It was a rainy Thursday afternoon. The house was quiet, but Jake was not. He was pacing the length of the living room, his steps heavy and agitated. He kept reaching up to swat at the back of his neck, rolling his shoulders, and grimacing as if something invisible was attacking him. "Jake?" you asked softly from the kitchen counter, where you were organizing his schedule for the week. "Is your shirt tag bothering you? I can cut it out."
He stopped pacing. He looked at you, his brown eyes clouded with severe distress. He reached up and grabbed a handful of his dark, fluffy hair at the nape of his neck. It had gotten long over the winter—curling over the tops of his ears and brushing against the collar of his hoodie. "It’s not the shirt," he said, his voice tight and breathless. "It’s my hair. It’s touching me. Every time I turn my head, it feels like cobwebs. Constant, heavy cobwebs. It is distracting my processor. The input is overwhelming."
"Do you want me to ask your mom to make an appointment at the barber?" you suggested gently. The look of sheer, visceral terror that crossed his face made you instantly regret the question. The barber was a sensory nightmare for him. It meant the loud buzzing of electric clippers vibrating against his skull, the strong smell of chemical barbicide, the bright fluorescent lights, and the unpredictable, light touch of a stranger’s hands on his sensitive scalp."No," he breathed, taking a step back, his hands flapping slightly at his sides as he tried to regulate his rising panic. "No barber. The buzzing hurts my teeth. The cape is too tight on my throat. I can't. I can't go."
"Okay," you said instantly, keeping your voice low and soothing. "No barber. I promise, Jake. We won't go." You thought for a second, watching him scratch frantically at the back of his neck.
"What if... what if I did it?" you offered.
He blinked, his hands freezing. "You?"
"Me. Right here in the kitchen. No buzzing clippers, just regular scissors. We can take breaks whenever you need to. I won't tie a cape around your neck; we'll just use your favorite soft towel."
He considered this. His logical brain weighed the risk of a bad haircut against the immediate relief of getting the "cobwebs" off his neck. He looked at your hands. He trusted your hands."Do you have the data?" he asked skeptically. "Are you trained in cosmetology?"
"I don't have the data yet," you admitted with a reassuring smile. "But I have YouTube. Give me ten minutes to study the algorithm."
He let out a long breath, his shoulders dropping a fraction. "Okay. Ten minutes."
You set up a wooden dining chair in the middle of the kitchen linoleum. You found a pair of sharp styling shears Sarah kept in the bathroom vanity. You propped your phone up against the sugar bowl and watched a video titled How to Trim Men's Medium Length Hair - Scissors Only.When you were ready, Jake walked into the kitchen. He had changed into an old, faded t-shirt. He sat down in the chair, his posture rigid as a board. You draped his favorite plush bath towel over his shoulders, securing it loosely with a binder clip so nothing constricted his throat."Okay," you murmured, standing behind him. "I'm going to touch your hair now. Deep pressure, just like we always do."
"Deep pressure," he echoed, closing his eyes tightly.
You placed your hands firmly on his scalp, letting him feel the solid weight of your touch before you ran a comb through his dark waves. He shivered slightly, but he didn't pull away."I'm going to start at the back," you narrated, knowing that unexpected sensory input was his biggest trigger. "You're going to hear the scissors. They make a sharp snip sound."
Snip. Snip.
"It sounds like a metronome," Jake observed softly, his hands gripping the edges of the wooden chair seat. "A fast metronome."
"Just focus on the rhythm," you soothed, working meticulously.
You weren't a professional, but you were infinitely careful. You trimmed the heavy curls away from his collar. You cleared the bulk from the sides. Every time you had to fold his ear down to cut around it, you warned him first.
It took forty-five minutes. A barber would have been done in ten. But this wasn't about efficiency; it was about safety. He sat perfectly still for you, enduring the falling hair and the metallic snip of the blades because he knew you were on the other end of them."Alright," you said finally, stepping back and carefully brushing the loose trimmings off the towel. "I think we're done, Jake. The cobwebs are gone."
He opened his eyes. He reached a hesitant hand up to the back of his neck. He felt the smooth skin, the clean line of hair that no longer brushed his collar. He felt around his ears, marveling at the empty air.
A slow, brilliant smile broke across his face. He stood up, shaking off the towel, and turned to look at you."It is optimal," he breathed, running his long fingers through the top of his hair, which you had left perfectly fluffy. "The static is reduced. My head feels... lighter. The processing speed is back to normal."
"You look very handsome," you smiled, reaching out to brush a stray clipping from his shoulder."Thank you, Y/N," he said softly, holding your gaze for a long moment. "I trust your scissors."
The trust they shared spilled over into the following week.
It was a chilly afternoon, the kind that made the house feel like a cozy, insulated bubble. It was the perfect afternoon for baking. "Cookies," Jake had announced around 2:00 PM, pulling his favorite glass mixing bowl from the cabinet. "The barometric pressure is low. We need to introduce a superior olfactory variable. Vanilla and butter."
"Sugar cookies?" you asked, rolling up your sleeves and washing your hands.
"Cutouts," he specified, retrieving his plastic container of cookie cutters.
Baking with Jake was a science experiment. He didn't believe in "eyeballing" ingredients. Everything was leveled with the flat edge of a butter knife. The dough had to be chilled for exactly thirty minutes. You did the main work—measuring, mixing, and rolling the heavy dough out flat on the counter—while he stood close beside you, supervising the chemistry of it all.
When it was time to cut the shapes, Jake took over. He treated the rolled-out dough like a puzzle of spatial geometry. He had chosen the star cutter and a specific dinosaur cutter.
"The goal is optimization," he explained seriously, pressing the star into the very edge of the dough. "We must minimize the negative space between the shapes to reduce the need for re-rolling. Re-rolling introduces excess flour and toughens the gluten matrix."
"You are a cookie architect," you laughed, watching his precise, careful movements.
"I am maximizing yield," he corrected gently, pressing the dinosaur cutter down directly next to the star.
You took the filled trays and slid them into the oven. "Okay, timer set for twelve minutes." But variables happen. Your phone buzzed on the counter—it was a call from the agency about a sudden change in scheduling protocols. You answered it, stepping into the hallway so you wouldn't disturb Jake, who was focused on washing the mixing bowl. The coordinator on the phone was chatty, and you got pulled into a frustrating, complicated discussion about paperwork.
You didn't hear the oven timer go off over the sound of the phone call.
You smelled it first. The sweet, buttery scent of baking cookies suddenly turned sharp, followed by the undeniable, acrid smell of burning sugar.
"Oh, shoot!" you gasped, hanging up on the coordinator mid-sentence.
You ran into the kitchen, grabbed the oven mitts, and yanked the trays out. Smoke billowed into the air.You slammed the trays onto the stovetop. The cookies were ruined. The stars were a dark, unhappy brown, and the dinosaurs looked like they had been caught in a prehistoric meteorite strike. They were hard as rocks and blackened around the edges."Dammit," you sighed, your shoulders slumping in defeat. You felt a hot prickle of tears in your eyes. You were his support worker; you were supposed to be on top of things. You had ruined his perfectly optimized geometric dough because you were distracted.Jake turned around from the sink, drying his hands on a towel. He looked at the smoking trays. He looked at your face.
He saw the disappointment. He saw the way you were picking at your thumbnail—a nervous habit he had memorized over the last six months.
He walked up to the stove. He looked at the burnt, sad little dinosaurs.
He reached out and picked one up. It was still hot, but he barely flinched.
"Jake, don't, it’s going to taste like ash," you warned, reaching out to stop him.
He lifted the burnt cookie to his mouth and took a bite.
A loud, aggressive CRUNCH echoed in the kitchen. You winced, waiting for him to spit it out. You knew how sensitive his palate was. Bitter flavors were usually an instant, gag-inducing rejection.He chewed thoughtfully. He swallowed. He looked at the cookie, then looked at you.
"The structural integrity is phenomenal," he stated, his face completely serious.
"Jake, they're burnt."
"They are heavily caramelized," he corrected smoothly. "The Maillard reaction was simply allowed to progress further than usual. It adds a... bold, smoky complexity."
He took another bite. Another loud crunch.
"And the crunch is superior," he continued, holding eye contact with you. "Soft cookies crumble. These cookies are resilient. They require effort. I appreciate the effort."
He was overriding his own intense sensory aversions. He was eating a burnt, bitter cookie just to protect your feelings, to make sure you didn't feel like you had failed him. He was a total sweetheart, wrapping his rigid sensory needs around his care for you.Your heart melted right into the linoleum. You couldn't help yourself—you walked over and wrapped your arms tightly around his waist, pressing your face into his chest in a brief, fierce hug.
"You are the absolute sweetest guy in the world, Jake Sim," you mumbled against his shirt.He patted your back awkwardly but affectionately with his free hand. "I am just analyzing the data," he said, taking a third, agonizingly crunchy bite. "But thank you. They really are good."The emotional safety established on those quiet afternoons paved the way for something far more delicate.
It happened late one evening, a few days later. Sarah had gone to a late movie with a friend, leaving the two of you in the living room. The lights were dimmed, and the TV was playing softly in the background.
Jake was sitting on the couch, his knees pulled up to his chest, picking at a loose thread on the hem of his hoodie. He had been quiet for an hour, a heavy, contemplative silence that usually preceded a deep thought.
"Y/N?" he murmured finally. His voice was low, lacking its usual confident, factual cadence."Yeah, Jakey? I'm here."
He kept his eyes glued to the loose thread. "I had a birthday a few months ago. Before you started working here."
"I know," you smiled gently. "Your mom told me. You turned twenty-four."
"I am twenty-four," he repeated, rolling the number around in his mouth like it tasted strange and unpleasant. "You are twenty-three."
"That’s right. You’re older than me."
He didn't smile. His brow furrowed deeply, and he stared down at his hands.
"Twenty-four is a prime integer for adulthood," he said softly. "I read articles online. At twenty-four, normal men are... doing things. They are driving on the interstate. They are navigating tax brackets. They are going to loud places and drinking ethanol. They wear suits that scratch their necks. They live alone."
He swallowed hard, the vulnerability in his voice jagged and painful to hear.
"I do not do those things," he whispered, his voice trembling. "I cannot drive on the highway because the cars move too fast and the input overwhelms my processor. I cannot do taxes. I wear pajama pants with cartoon characters on them. I spend hours sorting plastic bricks. I need Mom to help me make doctor appointments. I need you to help me go to the grocery store."He turned his head to look at you, his brown eyes swimming with a profound, deep-seated insecurity. It was the awareness of a man who knew he was out of sync with the timeline of the world, a man who felt like he was failing a test everyone else inherently knew how to pass.
"I feel... broken," he choked out, the word hitting the quiet room like a dropped glass. "Like I missed the manual on how to be an adult. And you... you have a degree. You fit in the world. I don't understand how you can stand being here with someone who is stuck on the wrong setting."Your heart cracked right down the middle. You shifted on the couch, turning fully toward him, and reached out to take both of his hands in yours. You held them tightly, anchoring him to the present moment."Jake, look at me," you said fiercely.He blinked, a single tear slipping down his cheek, but he met your eyes."There is no manual," you said, your voice steady and full of absolute conviction. "There is no 'normal' in adulthood. Everyone is just guessing and hoping they don't mess up."He sniffled, processing this. "But they do the normal things."
"Normal is a myth," you promised him. "You think because I have a degree I know everything? Jake, I had to Google how to fix a leaky pipe yesterday, and I still couldn't do it. I am terrified of making phone calls to strangers. I eat cereal for dinner three nights a week. Everyone has things they can't handle. Adulthood is completely new for everyone, and we're all just trying to survive the input."
You let go of one of his hands to reach up and cup his cheek, gently wiping the tear away with your thumb.
"You aren't broken, Jake. You are just you. You built a working replica of the Titanic from memory. You notice when the air pressure drops before the weather app does. You ate a burnt, charcoal cookie just so I wouldn't feel bad about my baking skills. Do you know how rare that kind of empathy is? How brilliant your brain is?"
He leaned into your palm, closing his eyes, a shaky breath escaping his lips.
"You don't have to like loud bars or scratchy suits to be a man," you whispered, maintaining your professional boundary but pouring every ounce of your care into your words. "You just have to be kind, and honest, and try your best. And you do that every single day. You don't have to fit into the rest of the world, Jake. Everything is new, and you just find where you fit most."
He opened his eyes. The fear was slowly draining away, replaced by a quiet, thoughtful relief.
"Find where I fit most," he repeated, testing the weight of the concept.
"Exactly. And you fit beautifully right here, just the way you are."
He let out a shaky breath, a small smile finally breaking through the sadness. He wrapped his arms around your waist, burying his face in your neck, pulling you into a tight, grounding hug.
"You are my favorite variable, Y/N," he mumbled against your skin. "Thank you for the data." To prove your point that his interests were valid and wonderful, you stopped by a department store the very next morning before your shift. When you walked into the house, you handed him a plastic shopping bag. "What is this?" he asked, eyeing the bag suspiciously. "A reminder that what you like is perfectly fine," you smiled.
He reached in and pulled out a brand new, neatly folded package of pajama pants. They were dark navy blue, covered in small, minimalist red Spider-Man logos.
"I checked the tags," you said proudly. "They are tagless. And it’s a modal-cotton blend. Super soft." Jake’s eyes lit up instantly. He rubbed the fabric between his thumb and forefinger, checking the friction coefficient.
"It is superior," he breathed, a wide grin stretching across his face, the insecurities of the previous night completely forgotten. "The texture is incredibly smooth. Thank you, Y/N."
"You're welcome, Spidey. Go test them out."
He hurried down the hall. When he returned, he was wearing the new pants, looking incredibly cozy and relaxed. He did a small crouch in the living room, testing the stretch of the fabric."Range of motion is uninhibited," he declared happily. "They are perfect."The final days of March brought the first true, undeniable breath of spring. The sun came out, warm and insistent, waking up the dormant life in the backyard.
It was a Saturday morning. You were standing at the kitchen sink, washing out your coffee mug, while Sarah sat at the island, looking over some mail. Jake had been outside in the backyard for twenty minutes, "patrolling the perimeter" in his new Spider-Man pajamas and a light jacket.
You watched him through the window. He was pacing the fence line, his hands in his pockets, enjoying the gentle breeze.Suddenly, he stopped. He knelt down in the grass, inspecting something on the ground. Carefully, with precise, deliberate movements, he pinched something between his fingers and plucked it from the earth.
He stood up and turned around, walking back toward the house with a determined stride.
When the back door opened, he walked straight into the kitchen, bypassing his usual routine of wiping his shoes exactly three times. He walked right up to you, holding his hand out, his fist closed around something delicate.
"I found anomalies in the grass," he announced.
He opened his hand.
Sitting in his palm were a half-dozen dandelions. They were bright, aggressive yellow, their stems slightly crushed from his firm grip.
"They are weeds," Jake explained, looking at you earnestly. "Most people apply herbicide to them to make their lawns uniform. But I researched them. They are the first food for bees in the spring. They are incredibly resilient. They grow through cracks in the driveway. They do not care if they belong; they just grow where they fit."
He held the messy, yellow bouquet out to you."I picked them for you," he said, his brown eyes locking onto yours. "Because you are resilient. And because you help me find where I fit."You stared at the bright yellow flowers.You were horribly, violently allergic to dandelions. The pollen made your throat itch, your eyes swell, and your nose run like a broken faucet. If you held them too close, you’d be sneezing for the rest of the day in absolute misery.You didn't hesitate for a microsecond.
You reached out and gently took the crushed, beautiful weeds from his hand. You would never, ever tell him."They are the most beautiful flowers I've ever seen, Jake," you said, forcing your breathing to remain shallow so you didn't inhale the pollen directly. "Thank you so much. I love them."
His chest puffed out slightly with pride. "They require water. A small vessel. Their stems are short."
"I’ll put them in a shot glass right now," you promised.
You turned around, grabbed a small glass from the cupboard, filled it with water, and arranged the dandelions carefully on the windowsill above the sink. As soon as his back was turned to grab a glass of water, you quickly turned your head and stifled a massive, aggressive sneeze into the crook of your elbow.
"Bless you," Jake said, drinking his water.
"Just dust," you lied smoothly, your voice thick as you quickly washed your hands with soap to remove the pollen. "Spring dust."
Sarah had watched the entire exchange from the kitchen island, her mail forgotten. As Jake wandered into the living room to adjust the volume on the TV, feeling successful and completely at ease, Sarah stepped closer to you.
She looked at the dandelions in the shot glass, and then she looked at you, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "You're allergic to those, aren't you?" she whispered, having seen you pop an antihistamine just yesterday when a neighbor mowed their lawn.
"Deathly," you whispered back, rubbing your itchy nose with the back of a clean hand.
Sarah let out a soft, watery laugh. She reached out and squeezed your arm, her grip tight and full of a mother's profound gratitude.
"He hasn't picked flowers for anyone since he was six years old," she said, her voice cracking with emotion. "Before the world got too loud and he folded in on himself. I used to wonder if I’d ever see that sweet, expressive little boy again."
She looked out toward the living room, where Jake was happily sitting on the couch, completely in his element. He wasn't hiding behind his hands or his headphones. He was just a young man, comfortable in his own skin, wearing the Spider-Man pajamas you bought him."He’s not just surviving anymore, Y/N," Sarah said, looking back at you with fierce, unwavering respect and praise. "He is living. He is confident, and he is himself again. But he’s not doing it alone. He has you. You brought him back."
You looked at the dandelions, their bright yellow petals soaking up the sun in the window, stubborn and resilient against all odds. You weren't his girlfriend, and you were technically just doing your job, but looking at the life and light that had returned to Jake Sim’s eyes, you knew you were exactly where you were supposed to be.
"I think we're just finding where we fit, Sarah," you smiled, your eyes watering from the pollen, but your heart completely full. "I really do."
April crept in with a deceptive warmth, bringing days that started crisp and ended bathed in golden, gentle sunlight. Over the past month, the trust between you and Jake had solidified into something unbreakable. The boundaries of your job title as his support worker had softened so completely that you often forgot you were on the clock. You were just Y/N and Jake, navigating the world together, one carefully calculated variable at a time.
Because he had been doing so well—expanding his safe foods, managing his sensory input, and initiating communication—you had planned a special outing.
There was a specialty hobby shop about twenty minutes away. It wasn't a big-box toy store with screaming children and blinding fluorescent lights; it was a quiet, dimly lit collector’s shop. It smelled of old cardboard, modeling clay, and dust. More importantly, they carried retired, vintage LEGO sets. Jake had been talking about a specific, out-of-production Architecture set for three weeks. He had saved his own money for it, meticulously budgeting his allowance in a small notebook.
"The crowd density on a Thursday at 11:00 AM will be approximately 12% of peak capacity," Jake had announced that morning, standing by the front door.
He was prepared. He was wearing his noise-canceling headphones securely around his neck, ready to be deployed at a moment's notice. Underneath his unzipped, soft grey hoodie, he wore a subtle, vintage-wash Spider-Man t-shirt you had found for him online. It didn't have any scratchy tags, and the seams were flat.
"The math is solid," you agreed, jingling your car keys. "We have a clear window. Are you feeling good? Battery at 100%?" He closed his eyes for a brief second, running an internal diagnostic. "Battery is at 94%. I slept well. The eggs were uniform. I am ready to initiate the mission."
"Let's go get that set, Spidey."The drive was peaceful. You kept the radio volume low, playing a soft instrumental track that Jake liked because the time signature was mathematically consistent. He spent the drive looking out the window, his fingers tapping a complex, rhythmic pattern against his thigh. He was excited. It was a subtle excitement to anyone else, but to you, it was loud and vibrant.
When you pulled into the strip mall where the hobby shop was located, the parking lot was blissfully empty."Twelve percent capacity might have been an overestimation," you smiled, turning off the engine. "Looks like we have the place to ourselves."
Jake unbuckled his seatbelt, a small, proud smile on his face. "My calculations included a margin of error. Empty is an optimal variable."
You walked into the store together. The bell above the door chimed—a soft, pleasant ding that made Jake blink, but he didn't flinch. The shop owner, an older man reading a magazine behind the counter, offered a quiet nod and went back to his reading. It was perfect.
Jake immediately navigated toward the back corner of the store, where shelves were stacked high with pristine, sealed boxes.
You hung back a few feet, giving him space to explore his element. This was his territory. He moved down the aisle with absolute reverence, his eyes scanning the boxes, reading the piece counts and set numbers like they were lines of poetry.
"They have it," he whispered suddenly.You stepped closer. "The Architecture set?"
"Yes." He pointed to a high shelf. "Set number 21010. The Robie House. 2,276 pieces. It was discontinued years ago. The dark red brick count is unprecedented."
His hands started to move. It was a happy stim—his fingers fluttering rapidly in front of his chest, a physical manifestation of the joy bubbling over in his brain. He bounced slightly on his heels, a soft, high-pitched hum of pure excitement vibrating in his throat."I have the exact funds required," he said, turning to look at you, his brown eyes shining with absolute delight. "This is... this is a highly significant acquisition."
"I'm so happy for you, Jake," you beamed, your heart swelling at the sight of his unbridled joy. "Let me help you get it down."
You reached up and carefully pulled the box from the top shelf, handing it to him. He took it as if it were made of glass, tracing the edges of the cardboard, his happy humming growing a little louder.
And then, the bell above the door chimed again.
You didn't think much of it at first. But then the voices carried down the aisle. Loud, booming, aggressively casual.
"Bro, I swear they sell Warhammer stuff here, just look."
Three guys turned the corner into the aisle. They were roughly Jake's age, maybe a year or two younger. College kids. They were wearing baseball caps backward, reeking of sharp, chemical body spray that immediately made your nose wrinkle. They were talking over each other, their voices echoing harshly in the quiet shop.
You saw Jake stiffen instantly. The happy humming cut off. His fingers stopped fluttering and clenched into tight fists around the edges of the LEGO box. He instinctively took a step back, pressing his shoulders against the shelving unit, trying to make himself smaller. He lowered his head, his hair falling forward to shield his eyes.
You casually moved, placing yourself slightly in front of him, creating a physical buffer between him and the newcomers.
The guys walked down the aisle, completely oblivious to the sudden tension. One of them, a guy in a bright red polo shirt, stopped to look at the shelf right next to where Jake was standing.
"Man, who drops three hundred bucks on plastic bricks?" the guy scoffed, laughing loudly. Jake flinched at the volume. His hands were shaking. He pulled the box tighter to his chest. He was trying to be invisible, but the movement caught the guy's attention.The guy in the red polo looked at Jake. He looked at the way Jake was hunched over, avoiding eye contact. He looked at the vintage Spider-Man t-shirt peeking out from the hoodie.Then, the guy smirked. He nudged his friend.
"Hey, check it out," he said, not bothering to lower his voice. "We got a real-life man-child over here. Hey buddy, aren't you a little old for the kids' aisle?"
The words hung in the air, heavy and sharp.
Jake froze entirely. His breathing hitched, catching in his throat. He squeezed his eyes shut."Excuse me," you said immediately, your voice cold and sharp as a razor. You stepped fully in front of Jake, locking eyes with the guy in the red polo. "Back off."The guy raised his hands in mock surrender, letting out an obnoxious laugh. "Whoa, chill out. I was just making a joke. Didn't realize his mommy was here to defend him."
"I said, back off," you repeated, taking a step toward him, the protective fury blazing in your chest. You didn't care about professionalism. You didn't care about causing a scene. You only cared about the man trembling behind you. "Keep your mouth shut and walk away."The second friend sneered, looking Jake up and down. "Jeez, what's wrong with him? He's shaking like a weirdo. Does he need a diaper change or something?"
Snap.
You moved forward, jabbing your index finger hard into the second guy's chest. "If you say one more word to him, I am going to have the owner throw you out by your hair. You are pathetic, miserable little bullies. Walk. Away. Now."
Your voice wasn't yelling, but it was deadly. The guys looked at your face, realizing you were genuinely a second away from a physical altercation. The bravado faltered.
"Whatever, crazy bitch," the red polo guy muttered, rolling his eyes. "Place is a freak show anyway. Let's go."They turned and swaggered out of the aisle, laughing loudly to save face ,mimicking disabilities, their heavy footsteps echoing as the front door chimed and they left the store.The silence that followed was suffocating.You turned around instantly, your heart hammering. "Jake," you breathed, reaching out. "Jake, I'm so sorry, are you okay?"
He wasn't okay.He was staring blankly at the floor. His face was entirely devoid of color. The box he had been holding so carefully slipped from his numb fingers, hitting the linoleum with a loud, hollow thud.
"Jake?" you asked softly, not touching him, knowing better than to initiate contact when he was in shock.He didn't look at the box. He didn't look at you. He reached up with shaking, jerky movements and pulled his noise-canceling headphones over his ears. He turned around, completely ignoring the set he had saved up for, and began speed-walking toward the exit."Jake, wait!" you called, abandoning the box on the floor and jogging after him.You caught up to him just as he pushed through the front door. The bright April sun hit him, and he squeezed his eyes shut, his hands coming up to grip the edges of his headphones so hard his knuckles turned stark white.
"Car," he choked out, his voice thick, rough, and entirely monotone. "Take me to the bubble."
"Okay," you said instantly, unlocking the car with your fob. "We're going. We're going right now."
He practically dove into the passenger seat, slamming the door shut. He didn't put his seatbelt on. He pulled his knees up to his chest, curled into a tight, defensive ball, and pulled his hood over his head and his headphones. He was burying himself alive.
You got in, started the car, and drove.The twenty-minute drive back to his house was the longest of your life. The silence in the car wasn't the comfortable, companionable quiet you were used to. It was a heavy, toxic, suffocating silence. It was the sound of a mind tearing itself apart.You wanted to reach over. You wanted to pull over to the side of the road, wrap your arms around him, and squeeze the pain out of him. But his body language was a massive, neon DO NOT TOUCH sign. He was completely closed off. The static in his head had turned into a roar.
When you pulled into his driveway, you noticed Sarah's car was gone. She was at her yoga class. It was just the two of you.
Jake opened his door before you even put the car in park. He scrambled out, almost tripping over his own feet, and half-ran to the front door. You hurried after him, unlocking it quickly.He didn't take his shoes off. He walked straight down the hallway, into his bedroom, and slammed the door.
You stood in the empty, quiet living room, your heart breaking into a thousand jagged pieces.You gave him ten minutes. You knew he needed time to process the massive spike of negative data. You went to the kitchen, poured a glass of ice water, and tried to steady your own breathing. Your hands were shaking with residual anger at those boys. You wanted to drive back and key their car.
But anger wouldn't help Jake.
After fifteen minutes, you walked down the hall and stood outside his bedroom door. You listened.You didn't hear crying. You heard a rhythmic, dull thump. Thump. Thump.Your stomach dropped.It was a sound you had only heard once, during his worst meltdown months ago. He was hitting his head. Not hard enough to cause a concussion, but hard enough to try and physically jar the overwhelming thoughts out of his brain. It was a frustration stim.
You didn't knock. You opened the door.
The blackout curtains were drawn, plunging the room into darkness. Jake was sitting on the floor in the corner, wedged between his bed frame and the wall. He had his knees pulled up, his arms wrapped tightly around his legs. He was rocking violently forward and backward.
Every time he rocked back, the back of his head hit the drywall. Thump.
"Jake, stop," you said, your voice firm but laced with panic. You crossed the room in three strides.
You dropped to your knees in front of him and slid your hand between the back of his head and the wall. When he rocked back again, his head hit your soft palm instead of the drywall.He gasped, the unexpected texture breaking his rhythm. He opened his eyes, glaring at you through the darkness. His cheeks were wet, but he wasn't sobbing. He was hyperventilating, trapped in a spiral of pure, toxic shame.
"Get out," he rasped, his voice raw.
It was the first time he had ever told you to leave. It felt like a physical blow to the chest, but you held your ground. You kept your hand behind his head.
"I'm not leaving you, Jake."
"Get out!" he yelled, a sudden, desperate burst of volume. He grabbed your wrist, trying to pry your hand away from the wall. His grip was frantic. "You are off the clock! Go away! Go back to your adult life!"
"I don't care about the clock," you said fiercely, refusing to let him push you away. You slid closer, ignoring his attempts to push you back, and grabbed both of his wrists, holding them firmly against his chest. Deep pressure. "Look at me. Look at my face."
"No!" He squeezed his eyes shut, turning his head away, trying to hide his face in his knees. "Don't look at me. I am... I am a freak show. I am a man-child."
He was echoing their words. The toxic data had infiltrated his system, overwriting all the confidence you had built together over the last six months.
"They were wrong, Jake," you pleaded, leaning in until your forehead was almost touching his. "They were stupid, miserable bullies who don't know anything about you."
"They were right!" he cried out, a ragged sob finally breaking through his throat. He stopped fighting your grip, his whole body slumping in defeat. "I am twenty-four years old! I wear a superhero shirt! I play with children's toys! I can't even go to a store without my mom or my... my paid caretaker to defend me!"
He pulled his hands out of your grip and buried his face in his palms, weeping openly. The sound of his heartbreak was agonizing.
"I thought I was doing good," he sobbed, his chest heaving. "I thought... I thought I was finding where I fit. But I don't fit anywhere. I am broken. The world looks at me and they see a joke. And you... you just pity me."
"Jake, no," you gasped, the tears finally spilling over your own eyelashes.
"You do," he insisted, his voice muffled by his hands. "You are beautiful. You are smart. You fix leaky pipes and drive cars and yell at scary men. You are a real adult. I am just your charity case. I am a job. You just pretend I am a man so I don't feel bad."
The absolute devastation in his voice, the deep-seated insecurity that had been completely laid bare by three cruel strangers, ripped through you. He didn't just feel humiliated; he felt unlovable. He felt like an imposter in his own life.
You didn't try to reason with him. You couldn't fight this level of emotional static with words alone.You moved. You uncrossed your legs and slid directly into his space. You didn't ask for permission. You wrapped your arms tightly around his trembling shoulders and pulled him forward, practically dragging him out of the corner until his chest hit yours.You wrapped your legs around his hips, trapping him in a tight, full-body embrace. You buried one hand in his dark, fluffy hair, pressing his head firmly against your shoulder, and wrapped your other arm tightly around his back. You applied as much deep pressure as your body could physically muster, crushing the space between you.
He stiffened violently, a gasp tearing from his throat at the sudden, overwhelming input. But he didn't fight it. He never fought your pressure.
"Listen to me," you whispered fiercely into his ear, your voice trembling with unshed tears and absolute conviction. "Listen to my voice. You are going to delete that data right now. Do you hear me?"
He let out a broken, hiccuping sob against your neck, his arms hovering uselessly at his sides.
"You are not a charity case," you continued, holding him tighter. "You have never been just a job to me. Those boys in the store? They are cowards. They tear people down because they have nothing interesting or beautiful inside their own heads. But you? Your brain is a masterpiece, Jake."
He shook his head weakly against your shoulder. "I'm a child."
"You are a man," you stated firmly, pulling back just enough to force him to look at you. You grabbed his face in both of your hands, your thumbs wiping away the hot tears streaming down his cheeks.
His brown eyes were wide, bloodshot, and utterly shattered, staring at you in the dark room. "A real man isn't someone who wears a scratchy suit and drinks at a bar," you told him, staring directly into his eyes, refusing to let him look away. "A real man is someone who is kind. Someone who is honest. A real man notices when I'm sad and gives up his favorite weighted blanket to comfort me. A real man eats a burnt, awful cookie just so I don't feel like a failure. A real man picks resilient yellow weeds for me because he knows I love them."He let out a shaky breath, his chest rising and falling rapidly against yours.
"You are the strongest, bravest, most incredible man I have ever met, Jake Sim," you whispered, your voice cracking. "And I don't pity you. I am in awe of you."
You didn't plan the next part. You didn't calculate the professional boundaries or the risk of sensory overload. You just acted on the overwhelming, desperate need to prove to him that he was loved exactly as he was.You leaned forward and pressed your lips to his.It wasn't a hesitant, chaste peck. It was firm, grounding, and full of every ounce of love and fierce protectiveness you harbored for him. You kept your hands cradling his face, anchoring him to the sensation.For one agonizing second, Jake froze. He went completely rigid beneath you. The new sensory input—the softness of your lips, the heat, the overwhelming intimacy—was massive.
But then, he melted.
A soft, desperate whimper vibrated in his throat. His hands, which had been hovering uselessly, came up and gripped your waist with a frantic strength. He didn't know what he was doing, but his instincts took over. He pressed back into the kiss, his lips moving clumsily but eagerly against yours. He clung to you like you were the only solid thing left in a world that had suddenly turned to quicksand.
You kissed him until the shaking in his body finally, slowly began to subside. You kissed him until the frantic rhythm of his heart slowed to a manageable beat against your chest. When you finally pulled back, you kept your foreheads pressed together, both of you gasping softly for air in the quiet, dark room. Jake's eyes were closed. His eyelashes were wet with tears, but his face had lost that pale, terrified pallor. His hands were gripping your hips so tightly it almost hurt, grounding himself in your physical presence. "Did you mean it?" he whispered, his voice incredibly small, incredibly fragile. "I meant every single word," you promised, stroking your thumbs over his cheekbones. "You are my favorite person in the entire world, Jake. I don't want a 'normal' guy. I want you. With your Spider-Man shirts and your LEGOs and your beautiful, brilliant brain." He opened his eyes. The shattered glass look was gone. The insecurity hadn't vanished completely—it never did, not instantly—but the toxic shame had been washed away by the absolute certainty in your voice and the lingering heat on his lips.
He swallowed hard. "I dropped the Robie House set."
You let out a wet, tearful laugh, pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose. "We can go back tomorrow. Or we can order it online. Whatever you want."
"Online," he decided immediately, his voice gaining a fraction of its usual factual cadence. "The crowd density in that store is heavily polluted with negative variables."
"Online it is." He took a deep breath, processing the massive emotional shift that had just occurred. He loosened his death-grip on your waist, moving his hands up to carefully, hesitantly wrap his arms around your back, returning the full-body hug. He rested his chin on your shoulder, burying his nose in your hair.
"You smell like vanilla and anger," he murmured into your neck.
You laughed again, burying your face in his soft hoodie. "I was very angry. I wanted to hit them."
"I am glad you didn't," he said seriously. "Assault is a felony. That would disrupt our routine."
"You're right. No felonies."
You sat there on the floor for a long time, tangled together in the dark. The sting of the outside world, the cruelty of strangers, was still there, but it was locked outside. Inside this room, inside the circle of your arms, he wasn't a man-child. He wasn't a broken algorithm.
"Y/N?" he whispered after a long silence.
"Yeah, Jakey?"
"When you kissed me... the static stopped completely."
"Yeah?"
"Yes. It was... highly effective. Superior to the noise-canceling headphones."
You smiled against his shoulder, your heart finally settling into a steady, peaceful rhythm. "Well, then I guess I'll just have to keep doing it. For medicinal purposes, of course."
"Agreed," he hummed, the vibration rumbling happily against your chest. "Frequent application is recommended." And as you held him in the dark, feeling the steady beat of his heart against yours, you knew that no matter how loud or cruel the world got, you would always be his quiet place. And he, in all his honest, beautiful complexity, would always be yours.
The aftermath of that afternoon on his bedroom floor shifted the entire axis of your relationship. The kiss had been an impulsive, desperate act of protection on your part, meant to shock him out of a spiral of toxic shame. But for Jake, it had fundamentally rewritten his internal algorithm.
You had become his baseline. In the weeks that followed as April blossomed into a warm, gentle May, Jake became undeniably, profoundly clingy. It wasn't a demanding, suffocating kind of clinginess. It was a quiet, constant gravitational pull. He simply needed to be in your orbit.
Before, he had valued his solitary space. He would spend hours in the living room building LEGOs while you read in the armchair, comfortable but separate. Now, if you sat on the sofa, he sat on the sofa, his hip pressed firmly against yours. If you stood at the kitchen island cutting his grilled cheese or pouring his milk, he would stand right behind you, close enough that you could feel the heat radiating from his chest.
He initiated touch constantly. It was never light or brushing—he still hated the "spiderweb" feeling of gentle contact. Instead, it was firm and deliberate. He would reach out and wrap his long fingers securely around your wrist while you were talking to Sarah. He would drop his heavy head onto your shoulder while waiting for the microwave to beep. He would randomly press his palm flat against the center of your back as you walked down the hallway.He was seeking deep pressure, but more than that, he was seeking you. You were the variable that made the static stop, and he wanted that quiet safety as much as possible.
You didn't mind it. In fact, your heart swelled every single time he reached for you. You returned his affection in equal measure, leaning into his weight, squeezing his hand back, and resting your cheek against his fluffy, dark hair whenever he ducked his head into your neck.
Nothing was labeled. You hadn't sat down and had a formal discussion about being "boyfriend and girlfriend." You were just existing in this warm, safe bubble of mutual adoration, letting Jake process the new physical and emotional data at his own pace.
Sarah, of course, noticed the shift immediately.
It was impossible to miss. One Tuesday morning, you were standing at the stove, carefully stirring a pot of oatmeal (no lumps, perfectly smooth). Jake had padded into the kitchen wearing his tagless Spider-Man pajama pants and a soft grey t-shirt. Instead of sitting at his usual spot at the round table, he walked straight up behind you. He wrapped his arms around your waist, burying his face in the space between your neck and shoulder, and let out a long, contented sigh that vibrated against your back.You had simply smiled, leaning back against his solid chest, and kept stirring. "Morning, Jakey. Did you sleep well?"
"Eight hours and twelve minutes," he mumbled into your skin, his arms tightening in a firm squeeze. "The humidity dropped. The sheets felt correct."
Sarah had walked in right at that moment, pausing in the doorway. She froze, a mug of coffee half-raised to her lips. She stared at the way her son, who had spent his entire life flinching away from unexpected contact, was willingly, eagerly anchoring himself to another human being.She caught your eye over Jake’s shoulder. You offered her a soft, reassuring smile.Sarah’s eyes immediately filled with tears. She didn't say anything to disrupt his peace; she just pressed her lips together, gave you a shaky, incredibly grateful nod, and quietly backed out of the kitchen to give you both privacy.Later that afternoon, while Jake was in the backyard inspecting the growth of his beloved dandelions, Sarah sat next to you on the porch."I have never seen him like this," she whispered, watching him carefully step over a line of worker ants on the patio. "He’s always been so guarded. Even with me, sometimes. His sensory threshold is just so delicate. But with you... it’s like he doesn't have a threshold at all. You’re just part of him.""He makes it easy, Sarah," you said honestly, pulling your cardigan tighter against the spring breeze. "He’s so honest. There’s no guessing games with him. I know exactly where I stand."
"You know he likes you, right?" she asked gently, turning to look at you. "More than just as a support worker. I know the agency has rules, but Y/N... I am his mother. And I have never, ever seen him look at someone the way he looks at you."
"I like him too," you admitted, the truth feeling warm and bright in the cool air. "I really, really do. We’re just... taking it slow. I want him to figure out the feelings on his own timetable."
"Take all the time you need," Sarah smiled, her shoulders dropping in profound relief. "Just... thank you. For seeing him. For really seeing him."
The culmination of all those quiet, clingy weeks happened on a rainy Friday evening.
It was Movie Night. The blackout curtains were drawn, creating a cozy, insulated cave in the living room. The TV was glowing brightly with the saturated colors of Spider-Man: Far From Home.
Jake was sitting on the sofa. You were tucked seamlessly into his side. His arm was wrapped heavy and secure around your shoulders, and your legs were tangled together beneath his favorite fifteen-pound grey weighted blanket. The pressure of the blanket combined with the solid weight of his body pressing against yours was incredibly grounding.
On the screen, Peter Parker was awkwardly fumbling through a conversation with MJ in Venice, clearly overwhelmed by his circumstances and his desperate, clumsy desire to just tell her how he felt.
Jake was usually hyper-focused during Marvel movies, cataloging the physics of the web-shooters or the structural damage to the buildings. But tonight, he was distracted.
His fingers were tracing a repetitive, rhythmic circle on your upper arm. One, two, three. One, two, three. It was a self-soothing stim. He had been doing it for twenty minutes."Is the volume okay?" you whispered, tilting your head up to look at his profile. The blue and red light from the television painted sharp angles across his jawline."The volume is at level 14. It is optimal," he replied softly.
He didn't look down at you. He kept his eyes fixed on the screen, but his brow was furrowed in deep concentration. He stopped tracing circles on your arm.
"Y/N?" he murmured, his voice rumbling in his chest against your side.
"Yeah, Jake?"
"Peter's heart rate is elevated," he observed, watching the animated panic on Tom Holland's face. "He is experiencing a stress response. But there is no immediate physical threat. The elemental monsters are not present in this scene."
"No," you agreed softly. "There are no monsters. He's just stressed because he's trying to talk to MJ."
"Because he wants to give her the black dahlia necklace," Jake stated factually. "Because he likes her."
"Exactly. He likes her, and he's terrified of messing it up. Feelings can cause a stress response too, Jake. Adrenaline. Sweaty palms. A fast heart rate."
Jake went completely still. The slight, rhythmic bouncing of his foot beneath the weighted blanket stopped. He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing.
"I have been experiencing a stress response," he said. The admission was quiet, almost a whisper, as if he were confessing a systemic error.
Your heart did a tiny, nervous flip. You shifted slightly under the heavy blanket, turning your body more toward him. "Are you experiencing one right now? Is the environment too loud?"
"No," he said quickly, his grip on your shoulder tightening in a firm, reassuring squeeze. "The environment is safe. The blackout curtains are closed. The blanket is heavy. You are here. The variables are all controlled."
"Then what's causing the stress response, Jakey?"
He finally pulled his eyes away from the television screen. He looked down at you. His dark brown eyes were wide, intensely focused, and swimming with an emotion so raw and heavy it practically took your breath away.
"You," he said simply.
You froze. "Me?"
"Yes," he nodded, his expression deadpan but his eyes betraying a frantic, searching vulnerability. "I have been analyzing the data for weeks. Ever since... ever since the incident at the hobby store. When you kissed me. My baseline changed."
He pulled his hand away from your shoulder, bringing it up to rest flat against the center of his own chest, right over his heart.
"It feels heavy in here," he explained, his voice trembling slightly as he tried to articulate the abstract chaos inside his mind. "But it's not the bad heavy. It’s not a meltdown. It’s like... like when I put the weighted blanket on, but it’s on the inside of my ribs."He reached out and carefully took your hand, lacing his long, elegant fingers through yours. He squeezed firmly.
"When you are not here, the static comes back. When you leave to go to your apartment, I count the hours until 8:50 AM when your car pulls into the driveway. I check the window. And when I see you wearing your quiet white shoes... my heart beats very fast. Like Peter Parker." Tears immediately pricked the back of your eyes. The absolute, unvarnished honesty of his words was staggering. There were no games. There was no posturing. He was laying his entire internal processor bare for you to see. "Jake," you breathed, your voice thick.
"I didn't know how to categorize the data," he continued, his thumb rubbing firmly over your knuckles. "I read the diagnostic criteria for anxiety, but the symptoms didn't match perfectly. Because anxiety makes me want to hide. This feeling... makes me want to be exactly where I am. Sitting right next to you. With no gap between the cushions."
He looked back at the TV for a split second, pointing at Peter and MJ, who were now sharing a quiet, charged moment on the screen.
"Peter feels it," Jake said, looking back down at you. "He feels the heavy, fast thing in his chest. And he calls it love." A single tear spilled over your eyelashes, tracking hotly down your cheek. Jake saw it. He immediately let go of your hand, his face falling into a mask of panic. "You are leaking. I said the wrong thing. I processed the variable incorrectly—"
"No, no, Jake, look at me," you interrupted quickly, reaching up with both hands to cup his face. You held his cheeks firmly, applying the deep pressure he needed to stay grounded in the moment. "I'm not crying because I'm sad. I'm crying because I'm happy. Because it's a good heavy feeling."
He stopped pulling away. He leaned into your palms, his wide eyes searching yours for confirmation. "It is a good variable?"
"It’s the best variable," you sobbed out a watery laugh, swiping your thumbs under his eyes. "You're saying you love me, Jake?"
"Yes," he said. He didn't hesitate. He didn't stutter. He looked at you with an innocence and a certainty that shattered every doubt you had ever harbored. "I love you. I love your quiet shoes. I love that you know I need the cheese cut into squares. I love that you fought those loud men for me. You are my safe place, Y/N. I love you."
Your heart took a massive, soaring leap against your ribs. You pulled his face down and pressed your lips firmly against his.
It was better than the first kiss. The first kiss had been born of panic and desperation. This kiss was born of absolute, undeniable clarity. Jake responded instantly, his hands coming down to grip your waist, pulling you flush against his chest. He kissed you with that same meticulous, focused attention he applied to everything he cared about, learning the exact pressure and rhythm that made you sigh into his mouth.
When you finally pulled back, you were both breathless. Jake’s glasses were slightly askew, and his cheeks were flushed a beautiful, vibrant pink.
"I love you too, Jake," you whispered, resting your forehead against his. "So much. My chest gets heavy when I look at you, too."
He let out a long, shuddering exhale, a massive weight lifting off his broad shoulders. He bumped his nose affectionately against yours. "Optimal," he whispered, a huge, gummy smile breaking across his face. You laughed, tangling your fingers in the soft hair at the nape of his neck. "Since we both have the same data... does this mean you want to be my boyfriend?"
Jake paused. He blinked, processing the terminology. He tilted his head slightly.
"Boyfriend," he repeated slowly. "And you would be my girlfriend."
"If you want to be."
He thought about it. "Labels are useful. They categorize relationships so the boundaries are clear. A girlfriend is a primary, permanent variable."
"I would very much like to be a permanent variable, Jake."
His smile widened, crinkling the corners of his dark eyes. "Yes. I will be your boyfriend. That is... a very pleasing symmetry."
"It's perfect symmetry." He pulled you back against his side, wrapping his arm securely around your shoulders, tighter than before. He dragged the weighted blanket higher up over your chests, cocooning the two of you in the dim, flashing light of the television.
"Y/N?" he asked softly, resting his cheek on the top of your head.
"Yeah, boyfriend?" you teased gently. He hummed, a deep, happy vibration that rattled pleasantly against your ribs. "I do not need to buy you a black dahlia necklace like Peter Parker, do I? Because you do not like jewelry that clicks against the table. And glass is fragile."
You couldn't help the joyous laugh that bubbled out of you. "No, Jake. No glass necklaces required."
"Good," he said practically. "I will buy you more smooth salsa instead. It is a superior investment."
"I'd love nothing more." As Spider-Man swung across the screen, saving the city from chaos, you sat safely in the dark, anchored by the weight of the blanket and the boy who held you. There was no more static. There was no more confusion about where you fit into his life. You were dating Jake Sim, and as he pressed a firm, deliberate kiss to your hairline, you knew absolutely that you had found exactly where you belonged.
The transition from support worker to girlfriend wasn't just an emotional shift; it required a logistical one, too.
Two days after that rainy movie night on the couch, you walked into the drab, fluorescent-lit office of New Horizons Support Services and placed your ID badge on your supervisor's desk. You explained that you could no longer remain objective. You didn't give them the deeply personal details, but you told them enough: the professional boundary had dissolved, and it was no longer ethical for you to clock in and bill the state for the time you spent at the Sim household.
Your supervisor had sighed, citing "high turnover" again, but you didn't care. You walked out of that office feeling lighter than air.
You drove straight to Jake’s house. When you walked through the front door, you weren't wearing your agency polo. You were just wearing a comfortable sweater and your quiet white Converse. Jake was sitting at the kitchen island, meticulously peeling an apple in one continuous ribbon. Sarah was at the stove, boiling water for pasta. "I quit my job today," you announced softly, standing in the archway.
Sarah froze, the wooden spoon pausing in the pot. She turned to look at you, panic momentarily flashing in her dark eyes. "You... you quit? Y/N, what happened? Did the agency—"
"No, Mom," Jake interrupted. He didn't look up from his apple, but his voice was remarkably steady, imbued with a quiet, undeniable pride. The apple peel fell to the cutting board in a perfect spiral. "She did not quit me. She quit the agency. It is a conflict of interest for her to be on the payroll." Sarah blinked, looking back and forth between the two of you. "Conflict of interest?"
Jake finally looked up. He set the paring knife down carefully. He walked over to where you were standing in the archway. He didn't hesitate, didn't check the room for variables. He simply reached out, took your hand in his, and intertwined his long fingers with yours. He gave your hand a firm, grounding squeeze.
"Y/N is my girlfriend now," Jake stated, looking at his mother with absolute clarity. "She is my permanent variable. We are dating."
For a full ten seconds, the kitchen was dead silent. The only sound was the rolling boil of the pasta water.
Then, Sarah dropped the wooden spoon. It clattered against the stove. She covered her mouth with both hands, a loud, wet sob escaping her throat.
"Oh, my God," she wept, the tears spilling over her cheeks in a flood of sheer, unadulterated joy. "Oh, Jakey." She crossed the kitchen in three quick strides and wrapped her arms around both of you, pulling you into a crushing, messy hug. Jake stiffened slightly at the suddenness of the contact, but he didn't pull away. He just patted his mother’s back awkwardly with his free hand, while keeping his other hand locked tightly in yours.
"I am so happy," Sarah cried into your shoulder, squeezing you tight. "I am so, so happy for both of you. Y/N, you... you are family. You were already family, but this... thank you. Thank you for loving him."
"I couldn't stop if I tried, Sarah," you whispered, wiping your own eyes.
From that day on, it wasn't a job anymore. You were just taking care of your love, and he, in his own brilliant, meticulous way, was taking care of you.
As the damp chill of spring gave way to the heavy, golden warmth of summer, Jake bloomed.The boy who used to flinch away from unexpected contact became entirely, wonderfully unabashed about seeking it from you. He didn't care who was watching. If he needed grounding, he took it.
You started going to the local metro parks together. It was a massive sensory step for him—parks were unpredictable. There were off-leash dogs, shouting children, and the sudden, sharp crack of baseball bats from the nearby diamonds. But he wanted to go, because he knew you liked the walking trails.
To manage the input, he wore his noise-canceling headphones, a pair of dark polarized sunglasses to cut the glare of the sun, and, most importantly, he held your hand.
Jake’s hand-holding wasn't a casual, loose grip. It was a firm, deliberate anchor. He would press the palm of his hand flush against yours, locking your fingers together so tightly you could feel his pulse beating against your skin.
"Deep pressure," he would murmur, adjusting his grip as you walked down the shaded, tree-lined paths. "It keeps the static away. You are my tether."
"I've got you, Spidey," you would smile, swinging your joined arms gently.
One particularly warm afternoon in late June, a golden retriever slipped its leash and came bounding toward you on the trail, barking excitedly. Before you could even react, Jake stepped directly in front of you, placing his body between you and the dog. He was terrified of loud, unpredictable animals, his shoulders hitching up to his ears, but his first instinct was to shield you.
When the owner ran up apologizing and leashed the dog, Jake let out a long, shaky breath."You stepped in front of me," you said softly, rubbing his tense back as he watched the dog walk away.
"I am the boyfriend," he stated, his voice trembling slightly from the adrenaline, but laced with a fierce, protective logic. "The boyfriend protects the girlfriend from biological anomalies. It is in the protocol."
You had pulled him down by the strings of his hoodie and kissed him right there on the trail, surrounded by the buzzing cicadas and the summer heat. He had melted into the kiss instantly, his hands finding your waist, the fear of the dog entirely overridden by the overwhelming, consuming input of your lips against his.
Summer evenings in Jake's backyard became your sanctuary.
When the sun began to dip below the horizon, painting the sky in bruises of purple, pink, and deep, saturated orange, the temperature would drop to a comfortable coolness. The neighborhood would quiet down, and the sensory input of the world would finally dial back to a manageable hum.
One evening in July, you had brought a cheap, plastic bottle of bubbles from the grocery store.Jake had been sitting on the patio chair, watching the fireflies begin to blink in the grass. You sat on the grass in front of him, unscrewed the cap, and blew a stream of bubbles into the warm evening air.Jake’s eyes went wide. He watched the translucent spheres float upward, catching the dying light of the sunset.
"They are perfectly spherical," he breathed, leaning forward, utterly captivated. "Surface tension forces the liquid into the shape with the least surface area. It is... mathematically flawless."
"They're pretty, aren't they?" you smiled, blowing another stream toward him.
He reached out and caught one on the tip of his finger. It didn't pop immediately. He brought it closer to his face, his dark eyes reflecting the shimmering, rainbow-colored surface of the soap film."Thin-film interference," he whispered, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "The light waves are bouncing off the inner and outer boundaries of the soap film. They are interfering with each other to create the colors. Magenta. Cyan. Yellow. It is chemistry and physics working together."
Pop. The bubble vanished, leaving a tiny drop of soapy water on his skin. He laughed. It was a rare, full-bellied sound that bubbled up from his chest, pure and bright.
"Do it again," he requested, his eyes shining.
You spent an hour blowing bubbles for him. He didn't just watch them; he analyzed them. He tried to catch them without popping them. He tracked their flight paths, calculating the wind currents. And every time he laughed, your heart swelled until you thought it might burst.He looked so beautiful in the fading light. He was stripped of all his anxieties, all his fears about fitting into the "normal" world. He was just a brilliant, joyful man marveling at the physics of a soap bubble.
When the bottle was empty, he slid off the patio chair and sat on the grass beside you. He pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his head on your shoulder.
"That was a superior activity," he murmured, his breath warm against your neck. "The visual input was highly stimulating, but not overwhelming. It was... soft."
"We can get more tomorrow," you promised, resting your cheek against the top of his fluffy hair.
"Yes. But only the brand with the pink wand. The fluid viscosity was excellent."
You laughed, wrapping your arms around his chest and pulling him backward until you were both lying flat on the cool grass, looking up at the first stars pricking through the twilight. He rolled onto his side, throwing a heavy leg over yours and burying his face in your chest.
"I love you, Y/N," he whispered into the fabric of your shirt, his voice drowsy and content.
"I love you too, Jakey."
As the summer wore on, your integration into his daily life became seamless. You didn't just watch him build LEGOs anymore; you built them with him.
It was a profound level of trust. Jake was highly territorial over his LEGO sets. They were his system of order in a chaotic world. But one rainy August afternoon, he pushed the massive instruction booklet for the LEGO Rivendell set toward the middle of the coffee table.
"You may assemble the roof tiles," he announced, handing you a plastic sorting tray filled with hundreds of tiny, earth-toned pieces.
You took the tray, deeply honored. "Are you sure? I don't want to mess up the symmetry."
"I have observed your fine motor skills," he stated pragmatically, clicking a wall piece into place. "You are careful. You do not force the bricks if they resist. And... I like seeing your hands next to mine."
You spent four hours sitting shoulder-to-shoulder on the floor. You learned the specific, satisfying snap of a perfectly placed tile. You learned not to talk when he was counting studs. It was an intimate, quiet language you developed together.
When you finished the Elven council ring, Jake stopped. He looked at the structure, then looked at you."We built this," he said, the realization settling heavily on him. "Together as a unit."
"We make a good team."He reached out and traced the edge of the plastic roof you had assembled. "My life used to be a solo build. I did not want anyone to touch my pieces because they always knocked them over. But you... you reinforce the structure. You make the build stronger."By the time the leaves began to turn the vibrant reds and oranges of October, months had passed since the kiss.And with the passage of time came the deepest intimacy of all: spending the night.
The first time it happened, it hadn't been planned. You had been watching a marathon of animated movies, and the heavy rain outside had lulled you to sleep on the sofa, your head pillowed on his chest.
When you woke up, it was 2:00 AM. Jake was still awake. He was sitting perfectly still, not moving a muscle, his arm wrapped tightly around you.
"Jake?" you mumbled, rubbing your eyes. "Why didn't you wake me up? Your arm has to be numb."
"My arm is numb," he confirmed softly. "But you were in the REM cycle of sleep. Your breathing was deep. Interrupting the REM cycle causes cognitive fatigue. And... I liked the weight of you. It is better than the blanket."
You had smiled sleepily, stretching your stiff back. "I should probably drive home."
Jake’s grip on your waist tightened instantly. His heart rate spiked against your cheek.
"The roads are slick," he said, his voice rising in that familiar, anxious pitch. "The visibility is reduced by 60%. The statistical probability of an accident is elevated."
He looked down at you, his brown eyes wide and pleading in the dim light of the living room. "Please do not drive. The variables are unsafe. My bed is... it is a king size. There is room. You can sleep there."
You hadn't hesitated. "Okay. I'll stay."
Sleeping in Jake’s bed was a sensory experience in itself. His mattress was firm. His sheets were 100% Egyptian cotton, washed in unscented detergent because artificial lavender made his nose itch.
When you climbed into the bed, wearing a spare oversized Spider-Man t-shirt he had given you, he immediately pulled his heavy, fifteen-pound grey weighted blanket over both of you."Is the weight acceptable?" he asked anxiously, hovering over you. "It can be crushing to neurotypical nervous systems."
"It feels like a hug," you assured him, settling into the pillows.
Jake climbed in beside you. He didn't leave a gap. He closed the distance immediately, turning on his side and wrapping himself around you like an octopus. He pulled your back flush against his chest, throwing his heavy arm over your waist and tangling his long legs entirely with yours.
He buried his face in the back of your neck. He took a deep, shuddering breath, inhaling the scent of your shampoo.
"Optimal," he whispered into your skin.
You reached down and laced your fingers through his where they rested on your stomach. "Goodnight, Jake."
"Goodnight, Y/N."
You learned that Jake didn't move in his sleep. Once he found his anchoring position against you, he was dead weight. He slept deeply and heavily, his breathing a steady, soothing rhythm against your spine.
Waking up to him was even better.The first time you opened your eyes in his bed, the morning sun was filtering through the edges of the blackout curtains. Jake was already awake.He was propped up on one elbow, his chin resting on his hand, just staring at you. His hair was an absolute bird's nest of fluffy, chaotic curls sticking up in every direction. His face was soft, relaxed, completely devoid of the tension he carried during the day.
"You have a freckle on your left eyelid," he whispered, his voice deep and raspy from sleep. "I never noticed it before. It is very small. Exactly 1.5 millimeters."
You smiled lazily, reaching up to push a stray curl out of his eyes. "Good morning to you too, Spidey."
"You look different when you sleep," he observed, leaning down to press a soft, lingering kiss to the corner of your mouth. "Your facial muscles lose their tension. You look very peaceful. It made my chest feel heavy again. The good heavy."
"I was peaceful because I was sleeping next to you," you murmured, pulling him down by the collar of his shirt until his chest rested against yours.
He hummed happily, nuzzling his nose against your jaw. Waking up together became a staple of your weekends. You learned that he needed exactly ten minutes of quiet transition time before speaking about complex topics. You learned that he liked it when you traced light patterns on his bare back to help him wake up his sensory receptors.You learned that you had never, ever felt a love like this before.
It was a love completely stripped of games, manipulation, and societal expectations. It was a love built on raw honesty, calculated variables, and an intense, unwavering loyalty.
Now, exactly six months since that rainy New Year's Eve, you were sitting in the living room on a quiet Sunday afternoon.
The Thanksgiving break was approaching, and the air outside was biting and crisp. Inside, the fireplace was crackling.
Jake was sitting on the floor, leaning back between your legs as you sat on the couch. This was his favorite position. He called it "the grounding chair." You were running your fingers slowly and rhythmically through his dark hair, scratching gently at his scalp.He had his eyes closed, practically purring.
"The tactile input is superior," he murmured, his head tilting back against your knee to give you better access. You smiled, looking down at him. He was beautiful. He was so incredibly bright. You thought about the file you had read a year ago. Difficulty establishing rapport. Rigid. High support needs. They had missed everything that mattered. They missed the way his mind was a kaleidoscope of logic and empathy. They missed the way he noticed the iridescent colors in a soap bubble. They missed the fierce, protective way he would step in front of a strange dog for the person he loved.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked, opening his eyes and looking up at you upside down."I'm thinking about you," you said softly, cupping his face in your hands.
"Is the data positive?" he asked, a small, teasing lilt in his voice. He was learning how to joke with you, understanding the cadence of playful banter.
"The data is overwhelmingly positive," you assured him, leaning down to kiss him upside down, like Spider-Man.
He smiled against your lips. He reached up, his long fingers wrapping gently around your wrists."I am operating at 100% battery," Jake whispered, looking at you with those deep, liquid brown eyes that held his entire, beautiful soul. "And you are the power source. I love you, Y/N."
"I love you too, Jake. Forever."
"Forever is a mathematical concept denoting infinite time," he stated, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "I accept those parameters."
He closed his eyes and leaned back against you, completely at peace, and you knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that your parameters were perfectly, infinitely aligned.
The seven-month mark of your relationship with Jake, the world outside the house had grown cold, brittle, and gray. But inside the house, the atmosphere was a saturated, brilliant gold.
You knew the exact rhythm of his breathing when he was relaxed; you knew the precise weight of the fifteen-pound blanket; you knew that when the world got too loud, you were the quiet room he retreated into.
It was a Friday night. The wind was howling outside, rattling the windowpanes with a chaotic, unpredictable rhythm that would have usually sent Jake into a spiral of sensory defense. But tonight, the blackout curtains were drawn tight, sealing the unpredictable elements away. The living room was bathed in the warm, colorful glow of the television screen.
You were having a movie night. It was a comedic, wildly colorful animation film about a chaotic family trying to save the world from a robot apocalypse. Jake had initially been skeptical of the plot's disregard for basic physics, but he had quickly become captivated by the vibrant, symmetrical animation style and the logical, deadpan humor of the family’s pug.For the last hour, you had been spooning on the sofa.
It was a position that had required careful calibration over the last few months. Jake’s sensory processing meant that light, feathery touches felt like crawling insects on his skin. But deep, firm pressure was his anchor. So, he lay behind you, his broad chest pressed flush and firm against your back. His heavy arm was wrapped securely around your waist, his hand splayed flat against your stomach, grounding you both. His long legs were tangled with yours beneath the plush velvet blanket.
He was incredibly warm, a human furnace radiating a steady, comforting heat through his vintage, tagless t-shirt.On the screen, the animated pug did something ridiculous, and a bright, bubbly laugh escaped your lips. Behind you, Jake laughed —a bright, resonant vibration in his chest that you could feel all the way down your spine. It was his version of a laugh, a happy, contented sound that meant his battery was operating at optimal capacity."The canine’s center of gravity is entirely disproportionate to its mass," Jake murmured into the shell of your ear, his breath sending a pleasant shiver down your neck. "It is impossible for it to run that fast."
"It's a cartoon, Jakey," you smiled, tilting your head back slightly to rest against his shoulder. "Physics take a holiday in cartoons."
"Physics never take a holiday," he corrected softly, his nose brushing against your hair. "But I will suspend my disbelief because the color palette is soothing."
You relaxed further into his hold, feeling utterly, completely safe. But after another ten minutes of lying in the exact same position, biology demanded a shift. Your left arm, which was tucked beneath your body and wedged against the cushions, was beginning to tingle uncomfortably.
"Jake," you whispered, squirming just a fraction. "My arm is falling asleep. The nerve is pinched."
"Paresthesia," he noted immediately, his grip on your waist loosening just enough to allow you to move. "You need to restore the blood flow."
"Yeah. Just give me a second."
You pushed backward against him to free your trapped arm, using your hips to gain leverage against the cushions. You shifted your weight, pressing your backside firmly against his lap to brace yourself as you pulled your arm free and rolled your shoulders. As you pushed your hips back into him, Jake made a sound you had never heard before. It wasn't his happy, vibrating hum. It wasn't the sharp, panicked gasp of a sensory overload. It was a low, breathy whimper that hitched in the back of his throat—a sound that was raw, involuntary, and entirely instinctual.
You froze. Before you could ask if you had accidentally hurt him, you felt it. Pressed flush against the soft curve of your backside, right through the fabric of your sweatpants and his soft flannel pajamas, was a distinct, solid ridge of heat.
He was hard.For a microsecond, the living room was dead silent, save for the cartoon explosions on the TV screen. You stopped breathing, your mind racing to process the new variable. Jake’s body, however, didn't wait for his logical brain to catch up.
Driven by a sudden, overwhelming biological imperative, Jake’s hips twitched. He pushed forward, pressing that hard, aching heat deliberately into your backside, seeking the friction.Another soft, ragged moan escaped his parted lips, hot against your neck. His heavy arm, which was still wrapped around your waist, suddenly tightened, his large hand gripping your hip with a frantic, desperate pressure.
"Jake?" you breathed, your heart doing a wild, erratic flutter against your ribs.
He jerked slightly, as if your voice had snapped him out of a trance. The physical pressure against your back remained, but his breathing had turned shallow and erratic.
"I... I apologize," he stammered, his voice thick and wavering. He tried to pull his hips back, a sudden wave of panic radiating from his tense muscles. "I did not calculate that reaction. The friction... when you moved... the sensory input was massive. It bypassed my primary processor." You didn't let him pull away. You reached down and placed your hand firmly over his where it gripped your hip, anchoring him to you.
"Jake, it's okay," you said softly, keeping your voice low and steady. "You don't have to apologize. It's just biology. It's a natural variable."
"My heart rate is elevated to 110 beats per minute," he whispered, his chest heaving against your back. "The blood flow has heavily redirected. The physical sensation is... it is loud, Y/N. It is very loud."
"Is it a bad loud?" you asked carefully. "Is it overwhelming like a meltdown, or... is it something else?" He went still, analyzing the internal data. He pressed his forehead against the back of your shoulder, taking a shaky breath.
"It is not a meltdown," he confessed, his voice dropping to a gravelly, intimate register. "It does not feel like the static. It feels like... gravity. Like I am being pulled toward the center of the earth. It is a very heavy, concentrated need. I want..." He swallowed hard. "I want to press against you again. The pressure felt... optimal."
Your pulse skyrocketed. You had navigated countless sensory challenges together, but this was uncharted territory. Over the last seven months, your physical intimacy had been limited to deep kisses, fierce hugs, and the quiet comfort of sleeping tangled together. You had let him set the pace, knowing that the intense vulnerability of sex could easily turn into a sensory nightmare if not handled with absolute care and trust.
But right now, his body was telling him what he needed, and he was trusting you enough to vocalize it.
You slowly turned over in his arms, shifting until you were facing him on the sofa.
His dark eyes were wide, blown out, and swimming with a chaotic mix of desire, confusion, and vulnerable trust. His chest was rising and falling rapidly under his t-shirt. His hair was messy, falling into his eyes, making him look devastatingly beautiful in the flickering light of the television.
"You can press against me, Jake," you whispered, reaching up to cup his face in both hands, applying the firm, grounding pressure he loved. "If you want to. We can explore this data together. But only if you feel safe."
He leaned into your palms, his eyes fluttering shut for a second. "I always feel safe with you. You are my permanent variable."
"Do you want to turn the TV off?" you asked. "To reduce the audio-visual input?"
He opened his eyes and nodded once, a jerky, decisive motion. "Yes. The flashing lights are distracting. I only want to focus on one input. I want to focus on you."
You reached for the remote on the coffee table and clicked the power button. The room was instantly plunged into a soft, velvety darkness, illuminated only by the faint amber glow of the streetlamp filtering through the edges of the blackout curtains. The silence in the room was profound, amplifying the sound of your mingled breathing.
"Is the dark okay?" you murmured, your thumbs stroking his cheekbones.
"The dark is good," he rasped, his hands sliding from your waist to grip your thighs. "It limits the variables. I can only feel."
"Okay," you breathed. "We're going to go very slow, Jake. If anything feels like too much—if the texture is wrong, or the pressure changes, or the static gets too loud—you just squeeze my hand three times. The emergency exit. And we stop immediately. Deal?"
"Deal," he agreed, his voice trembling slightly with anticipation. "Three squeezes."
You moved closer, swinging one leg over his hips so you were straddling him on the wide cushions of the sofa. You settled your weight down carefully.
The moment your center pressed directly against the hard ridge behind the zipper of his flannel pants, Jake let out a sharp, fractured gasp. His head fell back against the armrest, his eyes squeezing shut as his hands clamped down hard on your hips.
"Deep pressure," he groaned, his hips bucking upward instinctively to meet your weight. "Y/N... the pressure is... oh."
"I know, baby," you whispered, leaning down to press your lips to the erratic pulse beating wildly at the base of his throat. "I'm right here. Just feel it."
You began to move, establishing a slow, rhythmic rock against him. You knew better than to be unpredictable. He needed a pattern. Forward, back. Press, release. You created a physical metronome with your body, allowing his sensory processor to latch onto the predictability of the friction. Jake’s response was breathtaking. Stripped of his anxieties and grounded by the heavy weight of your body, he surrendered completely to the sensation. His hands roamed over your back, mapping the curve of your spine with firm, deliberate strokes. He was learning the topography of your body in a whole new way. "I need..." he panted, opening his eyes to look up at you. "The barrier. The fabric is creating a secondary friction that is confusing my receptors. I want... skin."
"Okay," you said, your own voice thick with desire. "Let's remove the barriers."
You sat up, reaching for the hem of your sweater. You pulled it over your head and tossed it onto the floor, leaving you in just your bra. Jake’s dark eyes widened, tracing the exposed skin of your chest and stomach. He didn't reach out with a light, tentative touch; he placed his large, warm palms flat against your ribcage, anchoring himself to your warmth.
"Symmetrical," he whispered, a breathless awe in his voice. "You are structurally perfect."
You smiled, a rush of pure affection warming your blood. You reached down and grabbed the hem of his vintage t-shirt, pulling it up and over his fluffy hair. His chest was broad and pale, his muscles tense and defined under the amber light.
You leaned down, pressing your bare chest flush against his.
The skin-to-skin contact was electric. Jake let out a long, shuddering sigh, wrapping his arms around you in a crushing, desperate hug.
"The thermal transfer is optimal," he murmured into your hair, his heart hammering against your breasts. "You feel like... you feel like the sun, Y/N."
"You feel amazing, Jake."
You reached down, your fingers fumbling with the waistband of your sweatpants. You shimmied them down your legs, kicking them off the edge of the sofa. Jake followed suit, his hands shaking slightly as he shoved his flannel pajama pants and boxers down, kicking them away with a clumsy urgency.
When you settled back over him, entirely bare against him, the reality of the moment hit him. It was his first time. Twenty-four years of guarding his body against a world that was too loud, too bright, and too sharp, and he was opening all the doors for you.
"Y/N," he whispered, his hands gripping your waist tightly. Panic flickered in the depths of his brown eyes, a sudden spike in his data processing. "I do not have the manual for this. I have read the biological mechanics online, but... the practical application... what if I malfunction? What if my rhythm is inefficient?"
You stopped moving. You cupped his face again, bringing your forehead down to rest against his."There is no manual, Jake," you promised him, repeating the words you had told him months ago when he felt broken. "There is no malfunction. This isn't a test with a pass or fail grade. This is just you and me, talking to each other in a different way. You just have to tell me what feels good, and I’ll tell you what feels good. We write our own code."
He blinked, processing the logic. "We write our own code," he echoed.
"Exactly. And I promise you, everything you do is perfect to me."
He let out a shaky breath, the panic subsiding. "Okay. Initiate the sequence."
You reached down, guiding his thick, incredibly hot length to your entrance. He was trembling beneath you, a fine, high-frequency vibration of pure anticipation.
"I'm going to go very slow," you whispered, locking your eyes with his. "Deep pressure. Ready?"
"Ready."
You sank down.The entry was a slow, deliberate stretch. You took him inch by inch, allowing his body to process the immense, overwhelming sensation of being enveloped.When you were seated fully at the base, you stopped.
Jake’s reaction was instantaneous and profound. His eyes rolled back slightly, his jaw dropping open in a silent shout. His hands flew up, not to your hips, but to your back, pulling you down into a crushing, desperate embrace. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, his entire body going rigid as he absorbed the data.
"Jake?" you whispered, your hands stroking his hair. "Are you okay? Is it too much?"
He shook his head frantically against your collarbone.
"No," he gasped, a wet, fractured sound tearing from his throat. "It is not too much. It is... everything. It is all the data in the universe at once, but it is organized. It is quiet. Y/N, you are so quiet."
He meant it as the highest compliment his brain could formulate. You were the only thing in his life that silenced the chaotic noise of the world.
He didn't wait for you to establish the rhythm. His instincts, buried under layers of logic and sensory defense, roared to life. He surged upward, his hips snapping off the cushions, driving himself deep inside you. You cried out, a loud, breathless sound of pleasure that echoed in the dark room. The sound was a positive variable for him. It fueled him.He began to thrust. It wasn't clumsy, and it wasn't hesitant. It was a firm, relentless, driving rhythm. He found the mathematical perfection of the friction and locked onto it. Up, down. Press, release. He held your hips in a vice grip, ensuring the angle never deviated, maximizing the sensory input for both of you.
"Jake... oh my god, Jake," you moaned, your hands bracing on his broad shoulders as you rode the incredible wave of his momentum.
"Is the depth acceptable?" he panted, his brow furrowed in intense concentration, sweat glistening on his forehead. "Is the velocity optimal?"
"It's perfect," you gasped, leaning down to capture his lips in a fierce, messy kiss. "Don't stop. You feel so good."
He growled into your mouth—a primal, masculine sound that sent a jolt of pure electricity straight to your core. The logical, quiet young man who meticulously sorted LEGO bricks was completely subsumed by the overwhelming, consuming fire of his love for you. The pleasure began to build, a tightening coil of heat that radiated outward. The sensory input in the room narrowed down to just him—the smell of his clean sweat, the sound of his ragged breathing, the solid, heavy impact of his hips against yours. "I'm going to fall," he whimpered suddenly, breaking the kiss. His rhythm became erratic, frantic. His eyes squeezed shut, his head tossing back against the armrest. "Y/N, my system is overloading. The pressure is too high. It's too high!" He wasn't panicking; he was climaxing.
"Let it overload, Jakey," you cried out, feeling your own climax rushing forward to meet his. "I've got you! Just let go!"
With a final, desperate, upward surge, Jake broke.
A high, fractured whimper tore from his throat—a sound of absolute, overwhelming release. He froze, his body bowing upward off the couch, every muscle pulled taut as a bowstring. He buried himself as deeply inside you as physically possible, his hands digging into your lower back to anchor you to him as he flooded you with his warmth.
The intensity of his release pushed you right over the edge. You shattered around him, your internal muscles spasming and milking him dry, crying out his name into the quiet, dark room.For a long, endless minute, neither of you moved. You lay collapsed against his chest, your breathing ragged and out of sync.
Slowly, the tension drained out of Jake's body. He slumped back against the cushions, his arms wrapping limply but securely around your waist.
You lifted your head, your hair falling in a messy curtain around your face, and looked down at him.His eyes were closed. His chest was heaving. And tracing down the sides of his flushed, sweat-dampened cheeks were two steady streams of tears.
Your heart constricted in a sudden panic. You reached down, wiping your thumb across his cheek. "Jake? Baby, what's wrong? Why are you crying? Did it hurt? Was the static too loud?"He opened his eyes. They were bloodshot, wet, and incredibly bright.He looked up at you, reaching a trembling hand up to cover yours where it rested on his cheek. He turned his face into your palm, pressing a kiss to your skin.
"It didn't hurt," he whispered, a watery, brilliant smile breaking across his face. "The static is completely gone. There is no noise left in my head at all."
"Then why are you leaking?" you asked softly, using his terminology.
"Because my capacity is full," he explained, his voice thick with a profound, overwhelming happiness. "I processed the data of the physical connection, and I combined it with the data of my emotional attachment to you. The resulting sum was larger than my internal storage. It had to spill over."
He let out a shaky, joyful laugh, pulling you back down until your ear was resting right over his racing heart."I am crying because I am exactly where I belong," he murmured into your hair, wrapping his arms around you like a shield. "You are my favorite variable, Y/N. You are the only math that makes sense."You closed your eyes, a few happy tears of your own slipping onto his chest, and held your permanent variable as tightly as you could.
Epilogue
The two years following that rainy autumn night unfolded with a rhythm that was entirely your own. Your relationship with Jake wasn't built on grand, unpredictable gestures or spontaneous cross-country road trips. It was built on the quiet, steady accretion of reliable data. It was built on Tuesday grilled cheese, the specific hum of the dryer on Thursdays, and the absolute certainty that when the world outside grew too sharp, you were each other's soft landing.
The seasons cycled —the oppressive, humid summers fading into the stark, brilliant colors of autumn, giving way to the biting cold of winter, and melting back into the muddy hope of spring. Through it all, Jake continued to bloom.
He still wore his Spider-Man pajama pants. He still organized his LEGOs by size, function, and color. He still required a predictable morning routine to conserve his daily battery. He was still undeniably, beautifully Jake. But the fear that had once defined his interactions with the world had largely dissipated. He was anchored. He had found where he fit.
It was a Saturday morning in late May. The air was warm, and the morning sun was filtering through the kitchen windows, catching the dust motes dancing in the air.
You were sitting at the kitchen island, wearing one of Jake's oversized grey hoodies, nursing a mug of coffee. You were twenty-five now, working full-time at a local community center. Your imposter syndrome hadn't vanished completely, but you no longer felt like a fraud playing at being an adult. You had a handle on your life, mostly.
Jake was standing at the counter, completely absorbed in the meticulous preparation of his breakfast. Two scrambled eggs (uniform yellow), three strips of bacon (cut into one-inch squares). "The humidity is rising," Jake noted, spearing a piece of bacon with his fork. He didn't look away from his plate. "It is currently at 68%. By mid-afternoon, it will likely exceed my comfortable threshold. My hair will experience frizz."
"We can stay inside," you offered, taking a sip of your coffee. "We have the new Star Wars puzzle. The 3,000-piece one."
Jake paused mid-chew. He swallowed and took a deliberate sip of his water.
"No," he said, finally looking up at you. His dark brown eyes were serious, but there was a subtle, nervous energy thrumming beneath the surface. He was tapping his left foot against the linoleum—a sign of processing complex variables. "I have calculated a different trajectory for today. I require a change in routine."
You lowered your mug, intrigued. A voluntary change in routine was rare. "Oh? What's the new variable?"
"I would like to visit the city Park," he announced, his posture straightening slightly. "The one with the botanical gardens. The rhododendrons are currently in peak bloom. They are highly saturated in color."
"The Park on a Saturday?" you asked, verifying the data. "It might be crowded, Jakey. High density."
"I am aware," he said, reaching up to adjust the collar of his t-shirt. "I have packed my noise-canceling headphones. I have assessed my battery level. I am operating at 98% capacity. I believe I can manage the input. It is... important."
There was a weight to the word important that made your heart skip a tiny beat. You had learned to trust his self-assessments. If he said he could handle it, he meant it.
"Okay," you smiled warmly. "Let's go see the rhododendrons."
The drive to the Park was filled with the familiar, comforting silence of Jake's lo-fi hip hop playlist. He sat in the passenger seat, his fingers tapping a complex rhythm against his thigh. He was wearing his favorite soft, navy blue hoodie and a pair of clean, comfortable jeans.When you arrived at the park, it was, as predicted, relatively busy. Families were walking dogs, joggers were navigating the paved trails, and children were shouting near the playground.Jake immediately deployed his headphones, pulling them over his ears to muffle the auditory chaos. He reached out with his right hand, keeping his gaze fixed straight ahead, and waited.You slipped your hand into his, intertwining your fingers tightly. Deep pressure. The anchor.
He squeezed your hand three times. Tap. Tap. Tap.
I love you.
You squeezed back three times.
I love you too.
His shoulders relaxed a fraction, and together, you began to walk down the main path toward the botanical gardens. The gardens were a stark contrast to the rest of the park. They were quieter, designed for contemplation rather than recreation. The air smelled of damp earth and blooming flowers.Jake led the way, navigating the winding stone paths with purpose. He stopped occasionally to examine a specific leaf structure or to identify a flower species under his breath."The Fibonacci sequence is evident in the petal arrangement of the Echinacea purpurpea," he murmured, pointing to a purple coneflower. "Nature relies heavily on mathematical efficiency."
"It's beautiful," you agreed, leaning against his side.He guided you deeper into the gardens, away from the main thoroughfare, until you reached a small, secluded clearing. In the center of the clearing was a large, ornate wooden gazebo, surrounded on all sides by massive, blooming rhododendron bushes. The flowers were a blinding, saturated magenta.The clearing was entirely empty.
Jake stopped walking. He pulled his headphones down so they rested around his neck.
The sudden exposure to the ambient noise of the park made him blink rapidly for a second, but he didn't put them back on.
He turned to face you.
His breathing had grown shallow. You could feel the slight tremor in his hand, which was still gripping yours tightly.
"Jake?" you asked softly, recognizing the physical signs of a stress response. "Is it too loud? Do you need your headphones?"
"No," he said, his voice hitching slightly. "The noise is acceptable. The variables are within manageable parameters."
He let go of your hand. You frowned, a sudden spike of anxiety hitting your chest. Jake never let go of your hand in a public place. It was his primary grounding mechanism.
He took a step back, putting a careful two feet of space between you. He reached his hands into the front pocket of his navy hoodie. He was searching for something.
"Y/N," he began, his voice taking on the formal, factual cadence he used when he was nervous. "I have spent the last two years analyzing the data of our cohabitation. I have observed the statistical probability of a successful, long-term human partnership."Your breath caught in your throat. Your heart began to hammer against your ribs like a trapped bird."The data indicates," Jake continued, his dark eyes locked intensely on yours, refusing to look away, "that relationships are prone to entropy. They break down due to poor communication, mismatched variables, and a lack of systemic maintenance."
He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing. He pulled his hands out of his hoodie pocket. He was holding a small, square object made of dark, polished wood. It wasn't a standard velvet jewelry box. It looked distinctly handmade.
"However," he said, his voice softening, the clinical distance dropping away to reveal the raw, beating heart beneath. "My internal processor has run the simulation a thousand times. And in every single simulation, the variable that prevents the entropy... is you."
He took a step forward, closing the gap between you. He didn't drop to one knee—he knew that societal conventions didn't dictate the validity of an action, and the ground was damp—but he held the wooden box out between you."You do not try to rewrite my code," Jake whispered, his eyes shining with an overwhelming, profound sincerity. "You learned my language. You understand that the static is loud, and you are the only thing that makes it quiet. You eat burnt cookies, and you do not make fun of my Spider-Man pajamas, and you provide optimal thermal transfer when I am cold."A tear slipped free from your eyelashes, tracking hotly down your cheek. You couldn't speak. You could barely breathe."I do not possess the vocabulary to adequately express the magnitude of my attachment to you," he admitted, his hands trembling slightly as he gripped the small wooden box. "But I have learned that human tradition utilizes symbolic gestures to denote permanent, primary variables."
He opened the wooden box. Inside, resting on a bed of dark blue velvet, was a ring. It wasn't a massive, flashy diamond. It was a simple, elegant band of polished titanium, inlaid with a thin, continuous stripe of dark, starry lapis lazuli.
"I selected titanium," Jake explained, his voice gaining confidence as he presented the data. "It has the highest strength-to-weight ratio of any metallic element. It is incredibly resilient. It will not warp or degrade. And the lapis lazuli is blue. You are my protective blue aura." He looked up from the ring, his gaze finding yours. The puppy-dog innocence was still there, but it was anchored by the unwavering conviction of a man who knew exactly what he wanted."Y/N," he said, his voice clear and resonant. "Will you agree to be my permanent, legally recognized variable? Will you marry me?" A sob tore from your throat—a loud, messy, uncalculated sound of pure joy. You didn't answer with words initially. You couldn't. You closed the remaining distance between you, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling his face down to yours. You kissed him with every ounce of love, gratitude, and fierce devotion you possessed.
Jake gasped against your lips, his hands instantly finding your waist, the wooden box clutched safely in one fist. He kissed you back eagerly, grounding himself in the familiar, perfect pressure of your touch.When you finally pulled away, you were both breathless. You rested your forehead against his, your tears mixing with the warmth of his skin."Yes," you whispered, your voice thick and wobbly. "Yes, Jake. A million times, yes. I will be your permanent variable."His face broke into a blinding, full-teeth smile—the kind of smile that reached his eyes and crinkled the corners. He let out a long, shuddering sigh of absolute relief."Optimal," he breathed. "The simulation was accurate." He carefully extracted the ring from the wooden box. He took your left hand, his fingers steady now, and slid the titanium band onto your ring finger. It fit perfectly. He had likely measured your finger while you were sleeping, calculating the exact circumference."It's perfect, Jakey," you sobbed, looking at the band. "It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
"It is mathematically precise," he agreed, admiring his handiwork.
He pulled you back against his chest, wrapping his arms securely around your shoulders. You buried your face in his navy hoodie, inhaling the familiar, comforting scent of unscented detergent and the crisp spring air.
You stood there in the quiet clearing, surrounded by the blinding magenta rhododendrons, holding your fiancé. The static of the world was entirely absent.
The wedding, like your relationship, was exactly what you both needed it to be: small, controlled, and deeply personal.There was no massive reception hall filled with hundreds of strangers. There was no loud DJ blasting bass-heavy music. There were no flashing strobe lights.Instead, six months later, you stood in the backyard of the beige two-story house. The late October air was crisp and smelled of fallen leaves. The trees surrounding the yard were ablaze in oranges and reds.
Sarah had spent weeks transforming the backyard into a quiet, intimate sanctuary. Fairy lights—warm white, non-flickering—were strung through the branches of the old oak tree. The grass was meticulously trimmed.
There were only twelve guests. Your parents, your brother, Sarah, and a few close friends who understood the rules of the environment.
You wore a simple, elegant white dress with no scratchy lace or heavy, restrictive corsetry. You wore your new white Converse sneakers beneath the hem.
Jake stood at the end of the short aisle. He wasn't wearing a suit. He had tried one on during the planning phase, but the stiff collar and the tight constraints of the jacket had sent him into a near-meltdown.Instead, he wore a dark navy blue cashmere sweater over a collared shirt, and dark, comfortable trousers. He looked incredibly handsome, comfortable in his own skin, and entirely at peace.He was wearing his noise-canceling headphones around his neck, a comforting weight, but he didn't need to turn them on. The environment was safe.When you walked down the aisle, your eyes locked onto his. He wasn't looking at the ground. He wasn't looking at your shoes. He was looking directly at your face, his brown eyes shining with unshed tears.
He held his hand out to you as you approached.
You took it, feeling the immediate, deep pressure of his grip.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
I love you.
The ceremony was short. The officiant, a close family friend, spoke softly and clearly.
When it came time for the vows, you hadn't written traditional promises. You had written your own code."Jake," you said, your voice steady, holding both of his hands in yours. "I promise to always be your quiet place. I promise to never mix the eggs with the bacon. I promise to always check the weather for humidity spikes, and to always have your noise-canceling headphones charged."
Jake smiled, a single tear slipping down his cheek."I promise to fiercely protect your routines," you continued, your own vision blurring. "Because your routines are what allow your brilliant, beautiful mind to thrive. I promise to love you, exactly as you are, in every variable, in every simulation, for the rest of our lives."
Jake took a deep, shaky breath. He didn't have notes. He had memorized his data.
"Y/N," he began, his voice carrying the deep, resonant timbre that always grounded you. "Before I met you, the world was a chaotic, unmanageable input. I survived by building walls and closing doors. You did not try to break the walls down. You simply sat outside them, in your quiet shoes, until I realized I wanted to open the door."
He squeezed your hands, his thumb brushing over the titanium ring on your finger.
"You are the most statistically improbable, incredibly fortunate anomaly of my life," he said, his eyes conveying a depth of emotion that defied any clinical diagnosis. "I promise to provide optimal thermal transfer when you are cold. I promise to eat the burnt cookies so you do not feel inadequate. I promise to step in front of the unpredictable variables to shield you. I promise to be your permanent, primary partner, until the entropy of the universe consumes us both."
There wasn't a dry eye in the small gathering. Sarah was openly weeping into a tissue, clutching your mother’s hand.
When the officiant pronounced you husband and wife, Jake didn't hesitate. He pulled you flush against his chest, wrapping his arms around your waist, and kissed you with the firm, deliberate passion of a man who had finally found his permanent place in the world.The small crowd cheered softly, clapping their hands—a muted, respectful applause that didn't startle him.The reception was a dinner held in the living room and kitchen. The food was carefully curated. There was a macaroni and cheese bar (no mixing required), a tray of perfectly uniform, sharp cheddar cheese cubes, and a massive bowl of smooth, roasted tomato bisque, a roast Sarah made, a salad.For dessert, there wasn't a traditional, multi-tiered wedding cake.Instead, there was a large platter of sugar cookies and other desserts. The cookies were cut into precise geometric shapes—stars and Stegosauruses. They were baked to a perfect, light golden brown.Jake stood by the dessert table, holding a star cookie. He looked across the room at you. You were talking to your brother, laughing at something he had said.Jake walked over to you. He didn't care that you were mid-conversation. He stepped up behind you, wrapping his arm securely around your waist, pulling your back flush against his chest.
"Deep pressure," he murmured into your ear, resting his chin on your shoulder.
"Always," you smiled, leaning back into his solid warmth.
Your brother smiled warmly at the two of you and excused himself to get more macaroni and cheese.Jake held the star cookie out in front of you.
"The bake on these is optimal," he noted, his voice a low, happy rumble against your back. "The structural integrity is sound. The Maillard reaction was controlled."
"I set three timers," you laughed, turning your head to kiss his cheek. "I wasn't taking any chances today."He took a bite of the cookie. It crunched satisfyingly.
"They are very good," he decided, chewing thoughtfully. "But..."
"But?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.
"But I think I prefer the fossilized dinosaurs," he said, his eyes crinkling with a subtle, teasing humor. "They possessed a superior... smoky complexity. And they proved that you are fallible. Which makes you mathematically perfect for me."
You let out a loud, joyous laugh, turning fully in his arms to wrap your hands around his neck."You are ridiculous, Jake Sim," you beamed, looking up at your husband.
"I am entirely logical," he corrected softly, his gaze dropping to your lips. "The data supports my conclusion." He leaned down and kissed you again, right there in the middle of the living room, surrounded by the soft murmur of your families and the warm, golden light of the fairy lights.Outside, the world continued its chaotic, unpredictable spin. The traffic roared, the sirens wailed, and the variables shifted without warning.
But inside, wrapped in the arms of the man who organized his life with plastic bricks and unyielding honesty, everything was perfectly, mathematically still. The static was gone. You were home. And you knew, with the absolute certainty of a scientifically proven fact, that you would never need to run from the noise again.
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cw - cursing, martin almost fumbles, martin mentions death like 3 times, martin gets threatened, martin gets turned on???, only a tad suggestive in his tho, seonghyeon execution joke, crack
part one
—-
a/n - it’s here! this is the by far the highest demand 😭 hope it lives up to its anticipation !!
the one where cortis bf actually loses his cool and takes it out on you
cw - idol!bf, angst, hurt no comfort, cursing, various texting personalities, james calls you clingy, martin is a dick + direct projecting/improper communication, juhoon is dismissive, insecure seonghyeon and he takes it too far, keonho is embarrassed of you
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"jake..." you started. "can we talk for a second?"
he looked up from the couch to acknowledge you, then looked back down to his phone.
silence.
"jake."
"i"m listening, y/n." he says, jaw already clenching.
you took a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves. "i just feel like i never see you anymore."
"you never see me anymore?" he scoffed. "i'm busy y/n, i'm sorry i can't be here to coddle you every time you feel lonely or insecure."
he regretted saying that as soon as it left his mouth, but he couldn't take it back. not now.
"i'm trying so hard for this relationship to work, jake. you barely talk to me anymore!" you say. your throat starts to feel like its closing in on itself. eyes already becoming blurry. "you don't even reply to my texts, you just come home late and give me some shitty excuse to save face. but i'm the insecure and lonely one? okay."
"i dont answer you because you're so fucking clingy! every other second is another message from you!" he snapped, voice raising, hand combing through his hair with aggression.
you sharply inhaled.
"i swear, if i knew you were gonna be like this, i would've never gotten with you!"
"jake.. please stop.." you choked out, but he kept going. he's just going in on you. every ounce of anger that he's been holding every day up until now, is going towards you. and he won't stop.
all of a sudden, everything was your fault. you rooted his anger, at least that's what it felt like. every word that left his mouth was another stab to your heart. you couldn't even keep up with what he was saying.
until..
"i just fucking hate you sometimes."
all the air left your lungs.
tears falling unapologetically now.
jake then stopped, realizing what he said.
"w-wait," jake, now trembling, reached out to grab you, any part of you. "i-i didn-"
you pulled back. "you didn't what jake? you didn't mean it?" you sobbed.
"n-no baby, please, you know i love you.." his eyes now blurring.
"i need to go." you whimpered out, head hanging down low. you turned to leave the living room, towards the door.
"y-y/n please don't." he launched out to grab your wrist, attempting to keep you there, but to no avail.
you yanked your hand back from his hold. "don't touch me jake! you hate me, right? let me fucking go!" not even staying long enough to see or even hear his reaction, you dashed to grab your keys and raced to the door.
-
the cold night air hit you first. you were so focused on leaving that you didn't remember to bring a jacket.
it was too late now, anyway.
you made your way to your car, desperate to get out of there. once you got in the front seat you just let go. you busted out in tears. how could it have gotten this bad? where did it all go wrong? you couldn’t think here, it was kind of suffocating. you started the car and drove where the wind took you.
-
on the other side, jake was not doing much better.
the second that door slammed in his face, he didn't try to chase you. he couldn't. he fell to his knees immediately, with a shaking figure. he couldn't breathe. back against the front door was jake, a man left alone with the consequences of his own words. sobs tore through his throat as he tried to find a stable breathing pattern.
it's way too late for you to be out, let alone by yourself. with no jacket at that.
jake scrambled to find his phone. he needed to text you, to call you. he needed you to come home, it's not safe out there right now.
with unsteady fingers, jake unlocked his phone and opened your contact.
jakey💕| y/n
jakey💕| please come home..
jakey💕| i didn't mean any of it
jakey💕| baby i'm sorry
jakey💕| i was angry please i swear i didn't mean it.. i love you so so much..
*missed call from jakey💕*
jake heard repetitive noises coming from the bedroom. despite the feeling of unease that washed over him, he went to investigate anyway. with quick steps he made his way to the room. only to find out something that made this whole situation worse.
you didn't have your phone.
first post! something short, something slight. and let me tell you, i think this is kind of buns. as much as i love angst i feel like i lack the talent lmao. but i tried my best, i hope you guys kinda liked it😅