juhoonic

I've been really into underground lately and been really addicted to the whole "electronic" music that's been putting out lately and I've always been a fan.

it reminds me of the earlier variation we had in lockdown when everyone was listening to #brooklynbloodpop and I genuinely believe that what carried and transformed into what kind of electronic music we have these days. artists like slayr, tiffany day, fakemink, feng, echstacy, effie (to name a few that I actively keep up w) are refreshing and have a great talent when it comes to their art.

lately I've noticed how much misogyny and negativity is integrated into just being an independent artist trying to push your music out into the world.

THE MISOGYNY

I had been gatekeeping this duo I adored, and lately martin posted a song of theirs too. they're called “ear” and they're a boy-girl duo. I joke a lot about how much music matters to me and this post was initially written to discuss music itself right after martin posted their song.

as a woman and as someone who wants to make music one day, it moves me to my core when I discover there's a woman's touch behind the music I'm listening to. it's a genuine moment where I pause and reevaluate my initial approach because it's one thing to find a song you like, its another to find someone like you made it. a woman in a space making music you enjoy.

but now I'm starting to notice a pattern— the absolute misogyny, objectification and performativity directed towards every artist and some genuine listeners of this genre; and music as a whole.

music has always stood as a symbol of art, one of the purest forms of communication and expression we as people consume and create. overtime, it's become something so meaningful that we base judgement of other people off their tastes alone.

but it's getting to a point where it's almost frustrating to witness how objectifying it becomes to just make and enjoy music. if you listen to something not well known— you're a "poser,” and if you listen to something popular— you're “basic.” if you're listening to sabrina carpenter, you're “just a girl listening to girl music” if you listen to opium artists, you're not a real “fan” because a man listening to the same thing is just going to be called “different” “hard” “niche” “good taste” “knows real music”

it's gotten to the point that artists as women cannot exist in the same space as men anymore without there being a sexual undertone to their work. are the duo of "ear" in a relationship? are they not? does it matter?

why should it matter? existing and enjoying music has always been something we've done for generations; music is culture, it's a language, it is intimacy and it is love.

as I grow, I realize how many people are genuinely desperate for something to make themselves seem “interesting” or “unique” solely for the title of being. and these very people are polluting the smaller spaces like this— clinging to the very artists they consume. one can begin to think— “is there genuine enjoyment to the music they're consuming; or, is the music being consumed because it's just not popular right now?”

more on this later ^

there's a dehumanizing lens women are viewed with when it comes to enjoying music these days. it makes me want to ask the questions, why can't a woman be as successful as a man without assuming that she's sleeping her way through the industry? why can't an aspiring artist bloom like they should in an industry where experimenting should be rewarded?

ear has been one of my favorite artists for a bit. they're engaging people and they are just artists in a sea of others. they have a rawness to their craft you can gauge by watching the people behind the album covers. their music moves me to tears; but there is no space welcome for me as a woman. as a girl. people first assume my gender and sexual habits before they even take a glance at my art— what I'm here to do. it must be exhausting to be seen for what relationships I'm building when I'm in a creative space trying to share my art.

if people even gave ear a chance, they'd recognize why there's so much genuinity around their work's sound.

I don't know. this kind of shit spoils your day and your space. i hope there's a genuine change when it comes to a community like this. there's insecurity lurking in the cracks, every joke is in bad taste because it's about a woman in the industry just doing what she can. and others point and laugh because it's okay to make a joke like that when there's not a woman around.

but there are women around. there always will be, their influence is undeniable. where does so much malice come from? I don't understand. im tired of everyone craving so much "originality" they forget the entire point of creating music is recycling what was already created and making something new out of it.

this is a genuine problem in the industry and it's fanbase. we see it all the time; the primest example being performative “males” with their matcha, wired headphones and a book they don't seem interested in, just to seem appealing. poeple listening to music they don't genuinely enjoy to just seem more dynamic, or consuming media they don't really enjoy just to belong in a space.

i believe a large majority of the artists' fanbase carry this lack of personality into the space all the time. oddly enough, as discussed with misogyny, it's clear that this kind of demeaning behavior directed towards women is definitely not to find community with women— but instead with other men present.

misogynists clearly prioritize presenting an image that harms women while trying to seem accepted by other men in the community. it's a performance, in a way, to fit into a certain group and feel a sense of validation. performance takes many faces, and misogyny is only one of them.

most people don't listen to music with their ears at all.

THEREFORE; THE “PERFORMATIVE” BEHAVIOR

this part of the discussion is specific to the recent martin situation with matt proxy. to explain briefly, martin reccommended a song “knots” by proxy on weverse, which proxy didn't take too well to and started hating on cortis. I recently just said:

one can begin to think— “is there genuine enjoyment to the music they're consuming; or, is the music being consumed because it's just not popular right now?”

a common behavior many people, who aren't all the way genuine, is that they tend to engage with the content that makes them seem more interesting. but when it gauges some sort of interest or popularity, suddenly it's tainted, almost as if it's ruined. people claim it was "never good at all" that the clout was "just nostalgia bait" and it's just “old shit” rebranded. it feels like the initial liking itself was a performance to maintain until the content became mainstream, and suddenly it wasn't interesting enough to make you seem unique.

but the entire point of music is that there can only be so much uniqueness until some stuff starts repeating. that's why everyone can build their own unique sound, everyone can take what was present and create something new out of it. you can't be completely original, but you can be organic.

continuing off of this— the kpop industry was never built to be completely original, and there's no denying the amount of black influence on its growth. it exists, it is the reason the industry has excelled til this degree. there is culture woven into the very tracks that the korean entertainment industry circulates.

there have been countless moments where the industry and it's artists disrespect the exact people it takes influence from to build rap, dance and music as a whole from. blackface, misuse of AAVE, having a "hip hop" concept which doesn't pay proper tribute to the roots it's inspired from— all exist and continue to exist as kpop moves on.

it's okay to admit this. it's okay to admit that kpop is heavily influenced by black art. a lot of the times, I've noticed, when this conversation is brought up, is that a lot of people act like it's original and there's no inspiration; or that being influenced in itself is a bad thing because the influence in question it's not directly from the culture that's native to your own.

matt proxy posted these on his insta story. I agree with the message he pushes about black artists' influence on music and kpop as a whole. I just discussed this.

but from what I've noticed is that cortis has never denied any of this influence. they have been in the studio with black artists, creators and people who have inspired their voice and sound in countless ways. they have black role models, black artists who spoke for them and said they saw a talent in them. without their touch, cortis wouldn't be where and who they are. the documentary serves as a constant reminder of how much western and black influence has integrated within their art.

for proxy to claim “artists go through gruel expectations they cannot keep up with” in context of the kpop industry being exploitative, and then turn and show no empathy to the exact artists he references is downright hypocritical behavior.

as I mentioned earlier, women in spaces cannot be because everyone is too busy objectifying their existence. they do their best to make art in a space that clearly doesn't reward them as the artists they are— the need for autonomy as an artist/person lives within them and their work.

but of similar nature, i view young creators in the industry through a similar lens. they (cortis) are not women, so it's not ever going to be comparable— but I draw resemblance because of how much animosity comes from just trying to be in this space. whether as a woman or as a young artist (anyone, for that matter) trying to make it, there are so many people performing for an audience that they overlook that they were the one being supported.

martin recommended a song because it was noticable to him. it wasn't meant to be something grand, or heartfelt, or vulnerable— just “i fw this. u shd too.” that's it. the outburst from proxy, to me, seems to be a performance to fit closer into a different community he seems to be catering to, which is just plain....sad. because he got recognized for his art by another young creator in the industry doing what he is. whether martin had "75 people in a room" making music or just himself— doesn't take away from the fact that his sound was born out of some place that was honest.

no one is as unaccepting to something new as someone who has constantly curated what they deem is “suitable” for their image. that sense of control is dear when you care so much about how you're perceived. proxy doesn't care about cortis and he reacted the way he did, outwardly on his story, because it is what brings a sense of different validation— through performance.

he made good points about black influence, the kpop industry's methods of music production and artist mismanagement/mistreatment— but it all felt flat when he couldn't offer empathy to the very exact people he was sympathizing with earlier.

music is subjective and not everyone will click, so I'm not even upset proxy didn't fw cortis. but if it truly matters to you that your art reaches people and moves them, then you'd realize anyone can feel seen by your art. that includes creators doing the best they can in the industry they are already in.

quoting myself from this other rant I made here while answering an ask.

as I admire idols, I catch myself before I can let the comparison consume me. I hope that everyone can walk away from the trap that is comparison and always admire the idols for who they are— just kids in a system trying to be themselves. they're just artists trying to find what art means to them. they're not special or someone to idolize. they're people who's choices are as fragile as yours and mine. they have regrets, they have fears, they have morally grey things about them that they hide. they may not be who you think they are. to me, admiring someone is accepting all this yet still understanding why their work matters to you.

I hope people can see idols with the same grace they carry for themselves. the urge to defend yourself when you're being wronged, it's not something foreign to us. then why do we struggle to see idols as human? as people capable of the same emotions were often experiencing?

i feel for martin because this isn't the first time this has happened with him, but it comes from a place of genuinely sharing what matters to you, and I'd never encourage him to stop. it's not his fault, and he shouldn't "stop recommending songs". a lot of people joked about this after the situation, and I giggled too, I'd admit, but as I write this out, I realize why I don't truly stand with it.

funnily enough, it was martin who posted he tuned into "ear" in the SAME EXACT POST he recommended proxy in; he recced ear's recent track too. and because ear matters to me— I feel seen by that. I'll always feel seen by people trying to do what feels honest to them. even if they get hurt during it.

music is soul, it connects, it always has. there's organic people out there trying to create sound out of their ordinary lives, and I'm glad martin seems like that, I'm glad ear seems like that. it's a shame proxy didn't turn to be that way, but that's why it's important to recognize this other face performance can take. catering to an audience, talking as the hypocrisy consumes. but, just for a moment,

can we just stop performing and just listen to the fucking music?

i feel like we're at a really sensitive age where perception and self image are one of the most important aspects of a person— the weird coming of age where you're not really a kid but far from a mature adult. im often laughed and giggled at when I try to be mature, or am looked at with surprise when I demonstrate that I'm growing up and can stomach complex thoughts, “woah, that's very mature of you to say. you're smarter than we thought, huh?”

but I hold myself back when I'm around kids, “when I'm older like you, i'll—” who do I have by my side then?

we forget that no one has it figured out. im not someone unapproachable because I'm refined, I'm imperfect just like any kid. I'm still figuring out what I want, what it means to make a choice and what is truly the essence of why I'm a rebellious person.

kpop idols are no different. they just have a whole team carrying their story for them, and they wouldn't be where they are— if they didn't have adults helping shape their image to others. the same adults who have likely told them “you're smarter than we thought, huh?” and yet still see them as a kid. because that's who they are— eldest 20. only a baby in the face of the real world.

it makes my stomach turn when I imagine myself in their place. I don't suddenly look cool because I have a million eyes on me telling me I am, and I don't just feel beautiful because the pictures say I do. the makeup means nothing to me if I can't feel it. kpop idols are only just kids— just bound to a system that doesn't compromise on their beauty. they're gorgeous, they're young, they're desirable, yes. but they don't have it figured out.

I know if a panel of adults watched my every move, scanned for a potential flaw that could damage the "image" that's built for me and always corrected my imperfections, I wouldn't feel cool. I wouldn't feel beautiful. i wouldn't be what the public is being guided to see me as. I'd arguably feel worse about myself, unnaturally sensitive to criticism yet crave it to appear what I truly want to be seen as. cool. beautiful. pretty. talented.

what good is any trait of myself I can manufacture; if it means I can sell it for a perception of myself and yet still feel nothing like it?

I often lie awake at night, wondering what it would be like to genuinely meet someone who is a victim to the system that only uplifts them if they are already catching a wave of popularity? what if I poured my soul into my craft but the public, yet, still doesn't care to spare me a glance? and then my company rejects me, pays less attention to me while they overwork my peers to the bone who seem to be the public's preference?

what good is growing up around people who are telling you to be something? what if I want to be cool but because I want to be cool. not because it's trendy to be that way. what if I want to have love and connection, but I'm a puppet to the very people that are my audience?

i don't want to choose a version of me that can just be. I'm not effortless like that. I am who I am because I fought for what kind of person I feel true to be. I'm not refined, not perfect— I have scars on my face and my hair don't always fall perfect.

I'm more than the people I look up to. I'm more than the people I admire, I'm who I am because I absorbed what I loved about others. I demonstrate what it means to be me.

cortis is someone I've felt connected to since I recognized james' features back in september. since I saw martin breathe through what music meant to him. i have their posters on my wall because I want to show what part of them genuinely connected to be who I am.

but I can't be them. that's not me. I'll never be cool like martin I'll never be the same kind of resilient james was. I'll never be that. but I could be something similar. I could be inspired, I could build what it means to be me with that influence in my life.

but being able to carry that nuance with me in my life is challenging. i still feel like a teenager even if I'm 20. I'll still feel like a child when I'm fighting with my mom and I'll still feel like the same young student I was when I first started studying independently.

i can't replicate something I never was, I can only be inspired. it's hard to be the same age as the people I look up to because I'm forced to compare. but I feel as I grow up the easier it gets to just feel inspiration. the choice of wanting to choose myself everytime hijacks any sort of envy I've likely felt towards people my age, it helps me feel like I can grow at my own pace.

I hope everyone who reads this understands the vulnerability I speak from. I'm not the people I admire, even if I sometimes wish I was in a moment of overwhelming emotion. it makes me strong to feel confident in myself even if I'm nothing like the ones that inspire me.

i criticize the entertainment industry because of the adults. I feel for the others my age in the audience and on stage; both simultaneously. because I know what it's like to see someone your age and feel bitter. to feel overwhelmed with envy and to always stare in the mirror comparing yourself. but I've also been on the other end of the stick, where I've felt that I was BEING envied and felt it was unfair.

it can never feel earned because of the nature of envy itself— and it felt frustrating. because no matter how long it took to get here, it was my own effort. I've seen how people act when they're jealous and it's bitter. I don't wish for people to see me in a lens of envy, of awe or of something that strips away the effort it took to get here. I know if I was an idol, I'd feel uncomfortable with that kind of gaze.

as I admire idols, I catch myself before I can let the comparison consume me. I hope that everyone can walk away from the trap that is comparison and always admire the idols for who they are— just kids in a system trying to be themselves. they're just artists trying to find what art means to them. they're not special or someone to idolize. they're people who's choices are as fragile as yours and mine. they have regrets, they have fears, they have morally grey things about them that they hide. they may not be who you think they are. to me, admiring someone is accepting all this yet still understanding why their work matters to you.

I hope people can see idols with the same grace they carry for themselves. the urge to defend yourself when you're being wronged, it's not something foreign to us. then why do we struggle to see idols as human? as people capable of the same emotions were often experiencing?

there's a lot of nuance with such a topic that a lot of people overlook but I hope we can understand that we should ultimately be ourselves. idols compare themselves, they love, they experience and they lose. they aren't puppets to please the public, this is their way of trying to create art in a system that doesn't reward what an artist truly needs— time and autonomy. the ability to choose.

I'm going to quote something that impacted me from an analysis video on the videogame silent hill f— “these creatures (who) cannot possibly understand what a freedom it is to agonize over a choice at your own pace.”

it's impossible to be perfect because it's human nature to compare, teenhood brings so much that we often can't process it quick enough. but choosing ourselves every time it gets ugly is what brings us to accept ourselves, whether we are inspired by people our age or not.

but I'm at peace when I'm myself. I hope others can find that sense of peace too. the more I learn about people I admire, the more I learn about what it's like to choose myself.

I hope we just exist in less comparison and more acceptance. of ourselves and others.