In regards to the previous post, I wanted to explain myself after some reflection. I wrote it during a strong depressive funk that I felt when returning to the website after several years. I wanted to think the account would have remained untouched, but in retrospect I should have remembered posts belong to the world once they're released. I want to apologize to anyone who I confused or upset with the message, it wasn't my intention to insult but I suspect my bad mood leaked into my wording.
My emotional reaction to seeing internet activity is probably a good reminder I don't mix well with social media. I am an emotional person and being exposed to so much tends to be overwhelming for me. DD and I have very different perspectives on the issue, I react by pushing people away while he has always encouraged me to come to a state of acceptance. DD has tried to accommodate my feelings many times in the past, and ended up repeatedly pressured into being my mouthpiece whenever I had a grievance. I'd like to stop making my difficulties his problem. My personal feelings as an individual made me want to respond to the activity I saw upon logging back in, but it's unrealistic for me to expect complete silence. Among other things I need to work on, I need to learn to deal with the world on its terms rather than trying to correct it.
I'm continuing to learn how to move on from the negative experiences in the past and let them go so I can have happiness in the future. I've always had problems with that, and it really is high time I get the skill down. I want to give deepest thanks to everyone who has helped me to get this far. I don't think I could have made it on my own, so I'm grateful for everyone who has been so patient with me. There is so much I still want to continue to make, and the best way to move forward on those ideas would be to avoid retreading old ground.
-Julian
