and here you are living, despite it all

What’s the point?

You and I go home to different beds. To different lives. To different homes. To different people.

So what is this all for? What is the point of acting this way when we see each other?

I wish I never allowed you in my space. I wish I never let you feel like you could have a piece of me in that way. Because the audacity for you to still hold that space for me whenever I see you, which is more often than I’d like, I can only distance myself from you. If we are left alone, who fkn knows what’ll happen.

but I don’t know if I can find the words

to tell you that I just wanted to make myself more interesting around people

more funny, more thoughtful

just more, more, more

even when I just want to stay home and feel small

but I wanted to thank you

for giving me space to breathe and think

for being a friend