I ate tamales today. For many, thatās no big deal, as it is a staple for many Mexican and Latinx communities, especially during the holidays. Yet, today was the first time I have done so in six years. Ever since my Second Mom, Soulmate, and, a year later, my mom passed, this time was hell. For me, even without thinking about it, tamales were more than just a food we eat during the holidays. It was a time to have family and friends over. It brought people home. It was an act and, if homemade, labor of love. So when they left this earth, tamales didnāt feel the same, for what they represented I was lacking. As I have begun this journey of being in love with love again, I realize that grief, in the absence of life, is like a vinegar rat without oil: doesnāt do any good. I Griffin, love working tandem, and it is in the tendon where healing can begin, I can continue. However, healing isnāt like a Band-Aid that you takeoff and just move on. Rather, itās more like an evolution. It changes what you felt for those that you have lost to something that you can remember them by, and later, becomes of that you can share with others, letting them know that there is indeed life after death. This year, I choose to go to the table, take a seat, and unwrap a tamal; for even though I know that they are no longer with me here in this mortal realm, they continue to be with me in my heart, my soul, and the very essence of my being. For that reason, alone, I know that I am at home⦠always. Cheers. #gay #latinx #latine #latino #latine #queer #twospirit #transfemme #nonbinary #genderqueer #gendernonconforming #tamales #tamal #family #home #love #grieving #healing #evolution #holidays #missing #table #cheers https://www.instagram.com/p/ClNJ3LVMI4W/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=