This is me

Long story short, I’m already 4 days behind my previous deadline that I set for myself. For whatever reason, I can’t seem to get the words out. Maybe it’s because the possibility of this dream is so close?

The Golden Day: May 1st

Lately I’ve been really busy aka I’ve been really unmotivated to work on my novel (possibly due to write’s block and exhaustion?)

Anyway--I did a recount of my word count until I have reached 85,000 words (and hopefully ~400 pages). The result is that I have 31,000 words left until the count total and if I start up again today with 2,000 words per day I will be finished in 16 days

I keep looking at the “because I said I would” card on my cork board and in reality I’m like “I’m never gonna get there” butif I stick to 2,000 words a day for the next 16 days I’ll be there just like that.

Since my last post I have added approximately... 0 words to my novel lol I just keep looking at the card I got during the Mark Conference and reading it to myself just as a reminder that I said I would finish this novel. Therefore, it shall be done. No excuses. I definitely need to factor more sleep into my schedule amidst classes and the gym but before I go to sleep, no matter what, I need to be writing. Period. 

You know that moment when you realize that you were meant to do something or that you at least have the talent to do so? For some people it’s singing or dancing or calculating complicated math equations. But I had this moment while writing the other day where I realized I could do this for the rest of my life and be perfectly happy. I’m not saying I’m the best writer out there and I’m sure I have a lot to learn. But I will say that I am writing a damn good story right now and I think I’ve finally found my calling. It feels good. 

37,861. The magic number. What, exactly, is this number? Well, I’m glad you asked my friends because I am excited to report that 37,861 is exactly the number of words I have left before I will have reached an 85,000 word novel! I’m totally stoked. The calculations are as follows:

As of today (3/29/16) I have written 97 pages = 47,139 words

It will take me approximately 18 days for me to get to 85,000 words in my novel if I continue writing 2,000 words per day starting April 1st. I’ve been busy with midterms and spring break and Easter holiday and preparing for graduation and working out and all that jazz so I haven’t sat down to write in about a week...maybe two. But really, those are all just excuses to mask the fact that I’ve been under the duress of some serious writer’s block. I mean, SERIOUS. It’s funny because my ideas or inspirations will hit me at the most random times but if I want to finish my novel by the end of May then I absolutely cannot wait around for that to happen. I just need to pick up my laptop and start churning out some words. I think sometimes I just want the perfect, quotable, meme-able lines and the most seamless display of character progression to just appear on the page my first time around. But I think I may be a little too hard on myself. I’m sure when I finally finish the novel there will be a lot of edits and changes and additions etc. I just need to sit and write and go with the flow and then edit everything later. So that’s what I’ll do!

I’ll keep checking in with all you beautiful people, but hopefully in 18 days I will be happily reporting the completion of novel #1! Stay tuned

1) I love this guy insta-chaz

2) this is exactly what I plan on doing except instead of Saturday it starts now...today is Wednesday in case y’all were wondering

That time of the year is here! And honestly it has flown by...the goals I have for this spring break are as follows:

Get 100 pages written in my novel (I’m at 81 rn)

Study for my BPol midterm

Finish my social media midterm

Hang out with my friends

Lately I’ve been feeling a lot like this girl in the bed with the two obstacles keeping her from achieving what she wants to. I’m not sure if its depression per say, but I do know it’s something. 

http://www.upworthy.com/a-comic-that-accurately-sums-up-depression-and-anxiety-and-the-uphill-battle-of-living-with-them

I haven’t added to my novel in about three days because I’ve been feeling some writer’s block, but I’ve also been dealing with a lot of personal things/ (aka RU screw). I think that affects my writing because I can’t compartmentalize my life into boxes labeled school, personal, writing etc. and just get over it. I’m super emotional.  

That being said, I had two long talks (and walks) with two of my close friends today and I really was able to get  a lot off my chest. I think many people don’t realize how hard I try to portray this image that everything is okay even when I know it’s not. But I’m realizing that the more I put my personal health on the back burner, the more it negatively affects my writing. 

How is that I have 1,255 friends on Facebook but in reality I feel like I have 0?