starving scroller, thumb patroller

​Kinsey scale for whether you’re more cloth or wire

youve been a bad *remembers youre plural* people

Guy who’s not gonna make it voice: it’s gonna be so awesome when I finally get what I want

smoking the shit that turned the clock wise

(Point and click protagonist voice) I would love to jerk my dick, but now's not the time for that

[shaking your hand] hey you ever hear about the scorpion and the frog [not letting go] exciting friends and a good adventure

[Trent reznor voice](close as physically possible to the microphone) ssix little monkeys, jumping on the bed.. one fell down, and he bumped his head

NOBODY HELPS ME

lesbian sex that looks like a big cartoon ball of dust with the occasional leg sticking out and i crawl out of it covered in lipstick kisses and get swiftly dragged back in

It's nice that loud noises don't stick to clothes like smells do. That would be really bad if they did.

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

(guy who is probably liked voice) does anyone even like me

dont count your berries before they hatch