DVac: I’mma cosplay as my favorite goober: u
Jordan: :O!
Jordan: better get a Hawaiian shirt and some mistakes

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@jovaclyfe
DVac: I’mma cosplay as my favorite goober: u
Jordan: :O!
Jordan: better get a Hawaiian shirt and some mistakes

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Jordan: What if - Tetris, but turn-based.
DVac: That's just playin' with blocks, son.
Spatulas are so good at their job...
Jordan, wistfully
Did you know that ‘Mallory’ is actually short for 'meme gallery’?
DVac
Jordan: My art will be appreciated in due time
DVac: After you die, when our children create the Jordan Mallory Memorial Meme Gallery in downtown

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I got to the middle of this banana split flavored lollipop and it tastes like root beer so you can have it
DVac, to Jordan, after searching for a root beer lollipop in the bag for Jordan and not finding one
I've never set foot in a hotel. You can quote me on it.
Millennial Tech Writer Jordan Mallory
God doesn't give us more boyfriend than we can handle
DVac
Pissed Off Shaun
DVac: You got me!!
DVac: You got my goat!!
Jordan: Just a lil
Jordan: Just a small,
DVac: Just a small goat
DVac: He's very small and very angry
DVac: Like me
DVac: He is just as small as he is angry
Jordan: Aww
DVac: He is not one bit sad, only angry
Jordan: What's his name?
DVac: His name is...
DVac: Pissed Off Shaun
Rollos
DVac: My abs hurt, from the crunches I did yesterday
Jordan: From the rollos?
DVac: Yeah
DVac: ... we should get some Rollos
Jordan: We should
Jordan: What if they made a candy that gave you good abs
Jordan: I'm gonna eat my muscle candy
Jordan: I'm gonna eat my rare candy
Jordan: and level up like a Pokemon
DVac: I was... gonna say that...!!!
Jordan: That's because we're both Pokemaniacs
DVac: Get out of my house
Jordan: Would you rather I have said "Pokemon Masters"?
DVac: I WOULD RATHER you had said "Wow DVac, you are very pretty and I love you," if we're being specific

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Jordan: Can I go vape first
DVac: No, because I am sitting on you and I am a boulder
Jordan: *picks DVac up, carries her around and places her in a chair*
DVac: I've been owned
Jordan: I didn't mean to own you
DVac: I'm a weak baby
Jordan: You're not a baby
DVac: I'm a baby
DVac: I just got borned
Jordan: No, that would be gross
"I won't take pills"?!?
Jordan, interpreting the lyric “I love cheap thrills,” in a song called “Cheap Thrills”
Update: we didn’t have to get a new house
Cars go outside, not inside. You can't fool me.
DVac, driving past luxury car dealerships in Beverly Hills
I've been arrested for crimes against my own butt
Jordan

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
DVac: You have so few shirts we can name all of them
DVac: They all have names
DVac: This one is Vacation Dad
DVac: I usually don't like chocolate bunnies because they're usually made of low-grade chocolate
Jordan: The only time I ever buy a chocolate bunny is if it's real fucked-up lookin'
DVac: That's the most Jordan Mallory thing you've ever said