A Gallery of Our Relationship @jovaclyfe - Tumblr Blog

DVac: I’mma cosplay as my favorite goober: u

Jordan: :O!

Jordan: better get a Hawaiian shirt and some mistakes

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Jordan: What if - Tetris, but turn-based.

DVac: That's just playin' with blocks, son.

#jordan #dvac #devious vacuum #chat

Spatulas are so good at their job...

Jordan, wistfully

#jordan #quotes

Did you know that ‘Mallory’ is actually short for 'meme gallery’?

DVac

#dvac #devious vacuum #meme gallery #quotes

Jordan: My art will be appreciated in due time

DVac: After you die, when our children create the Jordan Mallory Memorial Meme Gallery in downtown

#jordan #memes #chat #dvac #devious vacuum

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I got to the middle of this banana split flavored lollipop and it tastes like root beer so you can have it

DVac, to Jordan, after searching for a root beer lollipop in the bag for Jordan and not finding one

#dvac #devious vacuum #quotes #lollipop #root beer

I've never set foot in a hotel. You can quote me on it.

Millennial Tech Writer Jordan Mallory

#jordan #quotes

God doesn't give us more boyfriend than we can handle

DVac

#quotes #dvac #devious vacuum

Pissed Off Shaun

DVac: You got me!!

DVac: You got my goat!!

Jordan: Just a lil

Jordan: Just a small,

DVac: Just a small goat

DVac: He's very small and very angry

DVac: Like me

DVac: He is just as small as he is angry

Jordan: Aww

DVac: He is not one bit sad, only angry

Jordan: What's his name?

DVac: His name is...

DVac: Pissed Off Shaun

#chat #dvac #devious vacuum #jordan #pissed off shaun #got your goat

Rollos

DVac: My abs hurt, from the crunches I did yesterday

Jordan: From the rollos?

DVac: Yeah

DVac: ... we should get some Rollos

Jordan: We should

Jordan: What if they made a candy that gave you good abs

Jordan: I'm gonna eat my muscle candy

Jordan: I'm gonna eat my rare candy

Jordan: and level up like a Pokemon

DVac: I was... gonna say that...!!!

Jordan: That's because we're both Pokemaniacs

DVac: Get out of my house

Jordan: Would you rather I have said "Pokemon Masters"?

DVac: I WOULD RATHER you had said "Wow DVac, you are very pretty and I love you," if we're being specific

#jordan #dvac #devious vacuum #rare candy #rollos #chat

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Jordan: Can I go vape first

DVac: No, because I am sitting on you and I am a boulder

Jordan: *picks DVac up, carries her around and places her in a chair*

DVac: I've been owned

Jordan: I didn't mean to own you

DVac: I'm a weak baby

Jordan: You're not a baby

DVac: I'm a baby

DVac: I just got borned

Jordan: No, that would be gross

#jordan #dvac #devious vacuum #owned

"I won't take pills"?!?

Jordan, interpreting the lyric “I love cheap thrills,” in a song called “Cheap Thrills”

#jordan #music #quote

Update: we didn’t have to get a new house

#jordan #salad #jordan ate a salad #it was spinach cheese and croutons

Cars go outside, not inside. You can't fool me.

DVac, driving past luxury car dealerships in Beverly Hills

#quote #dvac #devious vacuum

I've been arrested for crimes against my own butt

Jordan

#jordan #quotes

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

DVac: You have so few shirts we can name all of them

DVac: They all have names

DVac: This one is Vacation Dad

#dvac #jordan #shirts

DVac: I usually don't like chocolate bunnies because they're usually made of low-grade chocolate

Jordan: The only time I ever buy a chocolate bunny is if it's real fucked-up lookin'

DVac: That's the most Jordan Mallory thing you've ever said

#dvac #jordan #chat #chocolate bunnies

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