Top Pic 1987 - Bottom Pic 2016Â
Today I turn 30, but instead of celebrating myself, I want to honor my Father.
I’ve been thinking about this day for a while now. I don’t really know why, I guess it’s because everyone views the big THREE ZERO as a milestone moment in life, and truth be told, the only reason I made it this far is because of him. The way he raised me. The way he loved me. The way he persevered.
It was because of him.
My Dad told me a story once. One day he got off work and when he got home, he found my mother partying with friends. The drinks were active, the atmosphere was uncomfortable, but he saw me, just a baby, laying on the couch with nobody paying attention to me. I’ll never forget when he said, “I saw you on that couch and that was the moment I knew I would never quit on you…”
My Mother ultimately chose to live life with another man, but instead of giving up on his kids, my Dad fought for custody. My father raised us. My brother Josh and I had a father because he didn’t quit. If he hadn’t fought for us? I can honestly say I wouldn’t be where I am today. I don’t know anyone from my Mom's side of the family, but the little I do know? It consists of prison, gangs, and way too much alcohol.Â
That would’ve been me. Â
To this day, my relationship with my biological Mother is barely civil, and to be honest, that’s just me being nice. I couldn’t tell you where she lives. I don’t even know her phone number. It’s pretty much non-existent. Does it hurt that today is my birthday, and she hasn’t even reached out to me? Yes. Absolutely. I don’t think it ever gets easier, but at the same time, it’s nothing new. Those are the cards that I’ve been dealt when it comes to her, and I’m at peace with that. I do genuinely hope that won’t be the story for the rest of my life, but only time will tell. On the flip side, I have been blessed with an amazing step-mom. It takes a special woman to come into a kids life and fulfill the role of mother for the rest of his life.
I’ve mentioned this before in previous posts, but my Dad named me after this dude named Joseph in the Bible. Have you ever read his story? You should. It’s an encouraging one. You find this man, who had everything taken away from him, had all of the people who were supposed to be closest to him betray him and hurt him the most, yet he never lost faith. He never lost hope. What separated him from others was his absolute trust in God, regardless of what happened to him. It’s a story that proves God will give us strength to endure our painful circumstances. Forgiveness is always possible with the help of God. Sometimes suffering is part of God’s plan to bring about a greater good.
As a kid, I spent a lot nights crying, just hurt, confused, trying to make sense of everything. That all eventually went away, but what I remember the most is that I never stopped watching my Dad. He always fought. He never quit. And now, I can look back and realize that everything I’ve gone through in my life, it’s always been for a reason. I think once we understand that nothing about our life is an accident, it changes us. Everything we experience internally takes place so that we can grow and then externally use our experiences for the good of other people.
Our pain turns into this beautiful piece of art called grace.
So here I am, thinking about the last thirty years of my life, and really the only thing I can do is thank God. Thank Him for his faithfulness. Thank him for His grace. Thank Him for always going before me, and thank Him for the man that He choose to be my Dad. I’ll most likely become a Dad myself during my thirties, and because of that, I’m thankful I had someone show me how to lead a family. Â
The conversation I had with my Dad about why he named me Joseph changed my life, forever, and It’ll be something I remember for the rest of my life, and as I start this new chapter, I feel like I have no choice but to live a life that honors the sacrifice and the fight that my Dad endured for me. So today, that’s what I’m doing. I choose to honor my Father by fighting for what’s right, fighting to do the right thing, fighting to keep a pure heart in all seasons of life.
But most importantly, I enter it with a heart to honor my heavenly Father. All of my life, in every season, He is still God, and I have a reason to sing and because of this, I will forever chose to stand, with arms high and heart abandoned, in awe of the One who gave it all…
Thanks Dad. Because of you, I know that my best days are always ahead. I love you. Â
GENESIS 50:19-20
Btw, how bout that pic up top? I been bout that Raider Life for a minute!!!!
JG
