me

“Hi”, he looked her in the eyes. She was so beautiful. Morning sun casting a certain glow around her. He counted himself the luckiest bastard. Having hurt her and then having her forgive him is the biggest mystery, but he will not be questioning that. This is too precious to lose again. 

However, Casey did not expect him to be so silent and the look in his eyes... is that...remorse?! He’s doing it again.

“I need you to leave” she said as she shuffled through the sheets to cover her exposed body. 

Ethan was as confused as one can get. “What?”

“I cannot believe how gullible I am. There’s no way fell for it again.” She sat up, further grabbing onto her sheets and muttering under her nose.

“Fell for what? What are you talking about?” He had panic and confusion written all over him. 

“I know that look on your face. The look, when you tell me it’s over again. I am tired of humiliating myself, Ethan. I need you to leave.” 

“Hold up. Where is this coming from?” He leans on his elbow, his naked torso coming up from the sheets.

“Don’t pretend you’re not thinking of it.”

“Thinking of what? Casey, I stayed the night, does that not say anything?”

“As you did the last time.”

“As far as I know, I came to your door last night to tell you that I cannot imagine you not being with me. Why would you think I’d risk losing you again?

She stopped for a second. “I...” Casey was lost, that fact has completely escaped her mind... “You looked like you regretted it.”

“I would never think of it. I simply cannot believe that after all that I put you through, you still are with me the way you are. While I deserved the worst.” The calm tone in his voice. 

She looked at him for a short minute. Such a bitch she was, thinking the worst of him…

“Oh. I just… I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions. It's just that I don’t remember the time we were in a different situation… I really don’t know what to make of this, I guess.” The silence fell upon them. 

“I really did not think I’d be saying it under current circumstances…” he mutters under his nose and then with fresh courage speaks: “I guess what I am trying to say is that I love you”

Casey was left in shock. Never would she expect him to say this at a moment as such. She just scolded him, not even a week ago they got in a heated argument and now he’s confessing his love?!

“I.. I..” she was looking for an appropriate reply, but the words failed her. 

“You do not have to say it back. I am just trying to tell you that you have no idea of the power you hold over me. It took me months to realize that you are like no other and having spent a couple of nights with you was never going to be enough. I hurt you. There is no excuse. I am unsure how you’re still talking to me, to be fair.” he let out a huff. “All I know is that I want to be with you. So much so, that I don’t even care for work right now. I’d quit if it meant you’d be willing to try with me.”

They look into each other’s eyes. A realization is slowly drawing upon Casey. 

“But you can’t… It’s unfair to you...I could never get in-between you and your career…”

“Hey”, he put his finger under her chin to lift it up to him. “I don’t care about any of that. All I care about is you. And besides, Edenbrook is soon going to be out of business anyway. So let’s not think about this anymore.” He glides his hand along her cheek, burying his fingers inside her messy morning hair. 

“I don’t know what to say…” she whispers. 

“You don’t need to say anything. I don’t want to pressure you into something you don’t feel comfortable about. For now, we can take it slow.” with those words he gently kisses her. Softly at first, deepening his kisses, making her forget herself. She released the grasp on the sheets she had used to cover her body and moved her hands to touch his face and chest, as he hovered over her.  They were back at it again. Touching senselessly, until both of them succumbed to their lust.

They did not decide on much. It was only him that had it all figured out. His intentions, emotions and feelings. She did not have to decide on anything just yet. Ethan was just happy  he could kiss her in the meantime. They’ll deal with whatever life throws at them later. 

__

Casey's breathing stopped for a minute. His body, strength, scent. It did everything to her. It made her want to never stop this. The way his lips and tongue moved against hers like he's been deprived of it for so long, that his life depended on her. And so did hers. He was just not supposed to know that. 

He pulled away for a second, his forehead still touching hers. "Don't think, just say it", he whispered.

"You're drunk"

"I'm sober enough."

"It's different now, Ethan"

"I'm aware. I don't want it to be different. Just tell me how it is right now. A simple answer." 

She stepped back from his hold. "Yes"

He looked at her with confusion. "Then why? Why did you pull away that day?" 

"We've been apart. Since that last kiss, we were apart, just busy being colleagues. It's been such a long time, that I got used to this. You cannot expect me to be hung up on you for so long. There is only so much I can bear of this and it’s not fair on either of us.”

He looked at her, not believing what he heard. 

"Oh c'mon, Ethan. What do you expect me to do? We cannot keep doing this. It's been months and as far as I can tell, nothing's changed."

There was silence. The realization was slowly hitting him with a ton of bricks and he was not sure if he could handle it this time.

"I fucked up, didn't I?"

"Don't say that. I understand why you did what you did. As far as I'm concerned that was one of the most selfless things anyone has done for me", she gave him a saddened smile. 

"I still stand by it. Or at least am trying stand by it."

"I'm not sure I follow."

"I don't know how to stop thinking of you. I never really stopped. The longer I try to stay away, the more I fail."

"Ethan.."

"No, let me say something", he stepped closer.  "That day, when Harper came into the office, she said something that was out of line. But she did it because we did start seeing each other more often. I thought that you moved on from that mess that we were. And I wanted to make the torment, of not being able to have you, stop. And so I did it by... I did it by seeing Harper." 

She was listening intently.

"But then you came over and asked me if I still thought of you... eh.. such a hypocrite, aren't I?” The self-criticizing smile was giving so much away... “I have so many rules, but I come here to question them...." 

He looked like a broken man. His eyes told her that. They had no desire behind them, just a sad regret.

Casey just crossed the room and kissed him. Gently, her arm holding onto his face, to keep him closer. 

"Shh. You don’t need to say anything else, Ethan”, she paused. “I did want to kiss you. I still do.” She closed her eyes and let herself breathe. 

She kissed him again and he was drunk on her. She shut the door and hopped on him, hoping he'd catch her. And he did, he'd always catch her. He grabbed her thighs in his hands, his fingers already leaving imprints on the backs her bare thighs and allowed his legs to take them to her bedroom, the path already embedded in his mind. They never pulled their lips from one another. 

Just as they got inside the room, Ethan smashed the door closed with his back and gently dropped her on the bed, hovering above her. The moan she gave him when he moved his lips down her cheek, towards her neck made him uncomfortable below his belt. He took a second to look at her. Her hair splattered around her head in the most flattering of ways. He had never noticed the intensity of the color that was now reflecting the light of her bedside table. His eyes dart to her neck, his hand joining in to appreciate it by scribbling teasing patterns. His lips began seeking to kiss her collarbone, diving into her body, touching her everywhere: her ass, her sides, her stomach, her chest. And then he realizes: He's doing it again, being selfish with her. He lifts his gaze.

"Casey, if you want to stop this...", he restrains himself for a second. Stops with all of his ministrations and waits for her answer. 

"I don't.” She felt delirious. Holding onto him for her dear life, she clung to his back, enjoying the way his muscles tingled under her fingertips, the way his crotch rubbed her so deliciously. She was not sure she could last long enough after all the months of longing. She pulled him back to her, giving him the reassurance he needs to kiss her again. 

His lips are sucking on hers. Hands let loose, he pulls her green dress up, while she is busy freeing him from his pants and underwear, just enough so they could do this. She gives it a few strokes and neither of them is patient enough anymore. He pulls her panties to the side and enters her. His head falls to the nape of her neck, trying to ground himself as they both moan of pleasure. It has  almost been a year since he last got a chance to savor her. Through the months he tried remembering the way she felt around him, how she held onto his back, how she clenched. She's thinking the same. Casey's back arches against the bed, pushing herself deeper into his embrace. Her hands squeeze his ass inviting him deeper. 

"Fuck", Ethan swears. He places his hand under Casey’s waist, hugging her closer and pulls the dress sleeves off her shoulders, letting his fingers mark the way for his lips. The way he kisses her body sends shivers down her spine and evokes a loud, yet sensual moan. He buried himself inside her: kissing her neck, shoulders and her decollete. He wraps his fingers around the top seam of the material covering her chest, pulling on it and freeing her breasts from the constraint. He wastes no second in sucking them, forcing whimpers out of her mouth, while his fingers work on undoing a few of the top buttons of her dress.  

Casey has stripped him of his shirt and her, holding onto him, is the biggest proof that she still feels the same way. She is too much to handle, however, he would never forgive himself for coming undone before Casey does. He slows down his strokes and lets the moment linger. Looking into her eyes, he sees that she had always wanted this. Him and her. Both, naked and undisturbed. 

He thrusts her slowly, enjoying every sensation being evoked. He brings his arm to her neck, caressing it with care and bows his head to kiss it on the other side. "You have no idea how much I need you", he whispered against her skin. 

"I think... I do", he swears she's smiling. 

The unfolding scene is too erotic to last any longer. 

The sensation made Casey close her eyes. His name has become a moan. The way he thrusted into her and held her pressed close to him by her waist. The way he ravished her neck and squeezed her ass sent her spiraling. She started involuntary convulsing, letting him know that she was in pure bliss. It only took him a few more strokes to join her.

They stayed as they were for a minute. Trying to grasp the fact that they did it. After he deliberately put distance between them- they did it. 

He’s too weak when it comes to her. So many nights were spent thinking of the way she must be laughing with her roommates, reading a book in her bed, getting ready. He pulled her with him, under the sheets. 

Caressing the exposed parts of her body, they looked each other in the eye, as they laid on the same pillow. 

“Tell me you don’t regret this”, Ethan smiled.

“Apparently you don’t know the effect you have on women in bed”, she joked, but he knew what she meant. 

“I’m sorry, I did not mean to...”  she realized her implication had left a trace of hurt.

“I have not slept with her. Or anyone for that matter”, he interrupted.

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Ethan.”

“I want to”, he looks at her so seriously, that she’d never think otherwise. She shyly smiled.

“There’s no one else like you, Casey. I honestly do not know if it would ever be possible to forget you and how I feel when you’re around. I think I will never be able to.” He stroked her warm skin, both of them enjoying the comfortable silence. 

Casey did not feel she needed to say anything. There he laid. The great Ethan Ramsey, making himself vulnerable in front of her. Telling her things no other man would probably think necessary. But he did. He cared about her so deeply, that the thought of her being hurt by him tore his heart in half. But now they’re here, just the two of them, working through their issues. They will be alright.

“I am glad I came and I’m even more glad we did this…” he leant in to kiss her cheek, coming down to her neck. His hands run south of her body, making her whimper. He found the edge of her dress and pulled it upwards, exposing Casey to his eyes, while she charmfully wrangled out of it.

Now, having her almost naked, pressed against him, he turns into a very hungry man. 

“Do you mind if I...” he cheekily whispered to her ear while touching the most sensitive parts of her body.

She laughed “No, not at all”. 

And they resumed.

__

Yes, I used a non-existing word. If you know an alternative- let me know.

“Yeah”, he said with bewilderment, he turned around and shook his head as if trying to rid of the previous thoughts. 

She inched closer, step by step, her heels gently echoing from the metal lockers. 

Now she's right in front of him.

“Okay then... So... I was thinking... maybe we could...” she whispered with a suggestive smirk, her finger tracing his chest muscles. 

“I need to focus on work tonight. I’m sorry. Raincheck?” he interrupted as he grabbed her hand and stopped it from moving across this body. That was his best attempt ant turning her down gently. 

She stilled. “Umm, sure, no problem at all”. 

It had something to do with Dr. Valentine. Yesterday morning, at his office Harper did whisper a suggestion. Him and her grabbing dinner with hopes it would last into the morning, her and him both naked, just the way they used to be... 

“Maybe another time”, she then added, knowing damn well there will be no other time.

“Yes, maybe then” he smiled (god only knows how much of that was actually genuine), put a hand on her shoulder, restraining from patting it and left.

She did not need any explanation. She knew. He was not interested anymore. 

___ 

The next morning she stepped into the elevator with HER. 

“Good morning, Dr. Valentine”. 

“Dr. Emery”. She nodded politely as she pressed the close button. 

“Dr. Valentine, hope you don’t mind my meddling, but yesterday I may have witnessed you and Dr. Ramsey having a falling out. How are you holding up now that you are a part of the team? Are they treating you right, over there?” She asked curiously. No malicious intent. She just had to know. 

“Everything’s fine, nothing to worry about. I’d call it a clash of opinions. Nothing more. Other than that, all is perfect. Thanks for asking”. She was leaning against the wall of the elevator. Only looking at Harper for as long as she absolutely had to. 

“Right. Well, I hope you come to a consensus”, Harper added. She could not care about it any less. All she cared about was that she did not know how to feel. Her being an attending again she imagined that Ethan might want to resume what they had, but she now sees that there is no chance that he’d care about any of that since the fight with the resident. She knows him and from the way he pushed her away yesterday she understands that he did not pick her. I guess all she is left to do is to face her defeat with grace.

Casey said no word just nodded with a trace of a smile. She did not want to come to a consensus. She wanted Ethan to see how messed up everything was. 

And then the elevator stopped. Harper strode out with a nod at Casey’s direction. 

So here she was, her second year- Ethan was lashing out at her, Harper is flirting with him and now, seems for selfish reasons, snooping on Casey. She was sick to her stomach. This year simply cannot go smoothly, can it now? She let out a breath, abandoned the metal cubicle of safety and immediately moved towards the diagnostics office. 

Just as she was about to pull on her card, somebody interrupted her. 

“Good luck in there.” She heard Bryce’s voice coming from behind her. She stopped, turned around and waited for him to catch up with her. 

“Hey” she smiled.

“Hey” he gently touched her cheek as if trying to convey that he cares. “Try not to piss him off”.

“What are you on about?”, Casey was curious at this point.

“Ramsey. We were working out this morning and he must have been pissed about something big time. Focused, grumpy. Straight up slew the workout and left without ever saying a word. Would not want to be you, bunch of three. Hence, good luck.” He joked. 

Casey was looking at him with intrigue in her eyes. So he was still upset, she quickly thought.

“I see. Thanks, Bryce.” He left the softest of touches on her arm, winked and left. She turned back around and saw him. Ethan. He had seen them: Bryce’s hand caressing her cheek, them exchanging smiles. He turned away from her, towards the door and entered the office with sadness in his eyes. Casey does not know how much of the sadness was because of Bryce, but she convinced herself she should not care. 

Casey pulled herself together and started walking towards the office. When she reached the door she stalled for a few seconds, trying to brace herself for another scolding. With that, she pushed the door open. 

Nothing. Complete silence. 

She stepped in.

“Good morning, Dr. Ramsey”, she said politely not even sparing him a glance as she started unpacking her notes from her bag, placing it on the round table. 

“Casey” her name left his lips with a worn gasp. ”I am tired of fighting with you. I am really sorry I let my emotions get to me. You did not deserve that.” 

Casey was shocked. Here she was, coming in this morning, thinking that Ethan was going to argue with her again and he pulls this... So she agrees with him. 

“You’re right. I guess both of us lost our temper. Apology accepted and please accept mine. I really should have run it by you. But when I tried to, Dr. Emery joined us in the room and I acted against the better judgment by not bringing it up again. So, I apologize.”

She said it. That's worse than just noticing it. She saw the way Harper talked to him. How she leaned over the table with seduction on her mind, no shame in the way she threw herself over him. And she’s hurt. Why wouldn’t she be? You made out with her in your kitchen and then you gave her all the reasons to believe you did the same with Harper. 

“Good morning, I brought donuts!” Baz strode in, holding a box of fresh pastry and went straight to the table. 

Jesus fuck. They really have to stop barging in.

This is as far as Ethan was going to go with this conversation. He simply cannot expose Baz to any of this so he just nods, accepting the apology and sits down in his chair. Casey does the same. 

___

It's later in the evening. He has his elbows against the wooden surface of the bar, his palms nursing a cool drink. The only thing that's stable in his life. It's funny even how he's reduced himself to only be trusting of the brown liquid and nothing else. No human. Everyone either got away from him or wanted something. He's not even sure where Casey stands in all of this. They slept together. He pushed her away. And then he selfishly kissed her. He does not deserve her. He does not believe he does. Pushing her back and forth, not giving her a clear answer. He's too weak around her. To this day he thinks of her body under his and that is all it takes for him to crumble. He wonders if it will ever happen again. If they could ever stand a chance. 

But she never really got away...

He knows she's here. Just entered the bar with her friends. To be fair, they are causing a small commotion. You can hardly miss them coming in. 

He stayed as he was. Did not move an inch. When she approached him, a sliver of green flashed in his peripheral vision.

"I gave it some thought and I just wanted to say that I feel bad about this falling out. As much as it pains me to say, you were right. It was supposed to be a decision made by all of us, not just me. I do understand that I have hurt you, in a way..." She was leaning against the bar, facing Ethan. 

He turned his head towards her, acknowledging her slowly. Her green button-up dress hugged her waist in all the right places and emphasized her glow. Her collar bones were giving him the most sensual of ideas. He wanted to touch her skin, kiss her shoulders let himself get lost in her, but he had to restrain himself. He tore his eyes away from her, coming back to his drink. His now warm drink. He's not even sure for how long he's been holding onto it at this point. 

"There is no point in dwelling in it. We said our sorries already. If it gives you any peace of mind, I do not think I am angry with you. Or ever was." She was taken aback by his statement. "I guess what I am is thankful. You spared me from doing it myself and I do not believe I would have ever had it in me to pull the trigger. So, thank you."

Casey stood there and listened, surprise on her mind. She turned towards the bar and waved Reggie for a drink, as she sat on the stool. Her hands on the wood, her entire body radiating warmth. She felt like haven to him. The one he shall never visit again. 

"I must admit, I was kind of expecting another scolding. Color me surprised". Ethan scoffed with a trace of a smile in response. She continued: "This ‘hospital closing it's doors’ mess did put a lot of strain on everybody. I am glad we at least talked and sorted it out among us. For what it's worth, I also want to apologize for claiming that you got mad at me for personal reasons. I may have overstepped the boundaries."

"You didn't", he instantly replied. All she did was make a single claim. He, however, initiated everything. Everything he was against. He cannot blame her for thinking what she thought. In all fairness, he thinks that it's close to the truth. He did try to push her away using anger. But right now, having her sit next to him, he questioned every single rule of his.

"You were right. I did get this way because of personal issues.” He hastily turned to face her. “I just need to know one thing. That Friday, when you pulled away, did you actually want me to kiss you?"

"What?" Casey was baffled by his question. 

"It's a simple question, Rookie. Yes or no?"

"I heard you, but..."

"All I'm asking for is an answer."

"It's not that simple, Ethan", she shot back. 

"It's simple enough to me", he looked at her with pleading eyes. She could swear he looked hurt. Her, not giving him an answer broke him. 

She knew the answer, she was just not sure whether to, tell the truth, or protect herself. So she just grabbed her purse, got up from the stool and murmured: "I cannot do this right now". With that she turned her back to him, feeling his gaze focused on her retreating form. She simply cannot hurt him anymore. 

Ethan sat there, alone again, his head barely hanging on his shoulders. If she had moved on, moved on with someone new, she would have said no. But she didn't. Or maybe she just spared him the hurt. The idea of her falling in love with someone who is not him cracks him in half. He looks for the people she came to the bar with. All of them were here. All of them, except her. He knows she went home. On her own. So he stands, pays his tab and follows her out.

next chapter

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Hmm, like yesterday evening did not happen. Casey sat at the round chair observing his professional demeanor. The way he spared no look towards them, browsing through his tabletop worth of files. He slowly sits down, his hands flexing under his white coat as he braces himself on the armrests. Grabs his pen, probably worth more than her rent, and starts scribbling. He is mesmerizing, the way his hand moves along the paper, the way he opens and closes the files, the way his lips fo...

“June, any chance you have a minute to spare, I’d like to hear your opinion on the case I have”, said Baz. Casey remembered where she was and that she was definitely staring. She looked to her right to see Baz and June leave the office and then she was back to herself and her notebook. 

It’s almost comical. Yesterday Ethan and Casey had a fallout, no, a misunderstanding, but today held no trace of it. He was stern, just as he was the day before. Cold as he was this whole time. It’s good because if she wanted him to forget something it for sure would be yesterday, when she made a stupid mistake of indulging in a kiss, just to be humiliated again or at least chose to be.

So here she was, sitting at the table looking at her notebook, playing with her pen and thinking. The idea of bringing in a famous influencer as a patient to lobby from sounded revolting, but the more she thought of it, the more she realized that it'd be mutually beneficial. Hospital aided, a patient treated, win-win. She caught herself almost stagnant, with her pen no longer spinning in her hand. She thought about this for too long, so she goes for it.

“Dr. Ramsey”

He raised his eyes from the paper as if he never expected her to even talk to him. 

“Yes”

“I think I have an idea as to how we can help...”

“Ethan!” Harper opened the doors with almost erotic excitement making sure to announce her presence, but then she noticed Casey. “Oh, I’m sorry, I did not realize you were in the middle of something.”

“It’s fine, nothing urgent. What happened?” He looked at her, almost bothered she chose this moment to stride in. 

Harper closed the distance to his table, looked over her shoulder to see if Casey was still looking in her direction. It worked because Casey was never so quick to avert her eyes. Harper looked as if she was in the middle of claiming Ethan and even one look from Casey would be challenging that. So Casey looked away. Pretended not to listen, not to care.

Harper put her manicured hands on the edges of his table, scraping the bottom of it with her nails, leaned over sitting Ethan and whispered into his ear. Casey could not directly see him, but she could bet that he felt rather uncomfortable. Knowing him he probably was disgusted by the way Harper acted. However, she knew what this meant. She stood up, collected her belongings and walked out of the room as if trying to not get in the lovers’ way. She walked and walked trying her hardest not to think of it anymore. 

___

She has taken an executive action. She never told him about Gwyneth. She just offered the services of the diagnostics team and everything happened on its own, really. 

“He says: Office. Now”. Casey read her pager out loud. And placed it back inside her pocket. 

“Oh, that has furious written all over it. What did u do to piss him off?” Said Jackie while poking the air with her fork.

“It’s the patient, Gwyneth Monroe. The influencer. I offered the diagnostic team’s services to her. I think Ethan is gonna go ballistic on me because I may have not run it by him and I am pretty sure it goes against his beliefs. He was already mad at me as we admitted her in the morning”. She placed whatever’s left of her lunch on the tray. “I better go. Sienna, could you grab this when you take yours please?”

“Sure thing. Good luck in there” Sienna nodded.

“Thanks”. She said as she stood and walked away.

___

“.... and so you purposely messed with the ethos of this team”, he said with a  raised voice. He is angry. She does not believe she’s seen him angrier.

“I’m sorry for trying to fix the mess the hospital’s in. I just cannot sit and do nothing when so much is at stake!” 

“Casey, you cannot singlehandedly save the hospital. Do you even realize the damage you’ve done to the team? This will not be the only case of such kind. The board is thrilled and now the primary focus will have to be on wealthier patients...” he placed one of his hands on his hip and fingers of the other on his forehead, as if trying to think of a solution while nervously pacing.

“If we do nothing there will be no patients to begin with” she said with calm tone, but her voice held so much power. She was standing up for herself and her beliefs. She was proud. Even if for a minute, she was proud. 

Now, that Ethan has learned that Gwyneth was solicited by no other than Casey, he felt almost stabbed in the back. That’s what she wanted to discuss with him when Harper strode in. And he never had the chance to listen to her. Or maybe she chose to act on it alone. He never expected her to pull something of this sort. 

He looked at her like he broke her. Broke everything he'd worked for and tossed it in the mud. 

“Are you two done fighting?” June and Baz strode into the room, carrying the new files to Gwyneth’s case. Ethan and Casey shot their eyes at her and went silent. “Good. These are the files. I spoke to the girl- no signs of depression. She is also negative for cytomegalovirus, ulcerative colitis and I.B.D”

“Same for gastroenteritis and hyperthyroidism. No sign of cancer either” added Baz, already seated at the table. 

“She does review a lot of skincare products. Could it be that the possible exposure is causing this?” said Casey.

“We should ask her for the list of products she owned or tested. We could start there” Baz agreed.

“Okay. Do that. I want her treated and gone ASAP” said Ethan. The team has started to disperse from the office with Casey behind. “Dr. Valentine, do you mind staying, I’d like to continue our previous conversation.”

“With all due respect, Dr. Ramsey, I don’t have anything else to say on the matter, I have to go, please excuse me”. She said it. No regret or guilt. And left. Immediately. 

He could not believe it. Just a couple of days ago everything was different. She was different. She would never abandon a conversation as such. She always cared and now she could not be bothered. 

___

She was entering the locker room when she felt him striding towards her with determination. She noticed but kept walking towards her locker. He pushed himself inside the room and stood in front of the door. Just the two of them. He did not even manage to say a word before she jumped in. “Right. Tell me what is this. You damn well know I am right. Me, June and Baz are trying so hard to deal with this crap of a situation we are in and all you seem to believe is how everything is now ruined because of me. Do you think I never stopped to think of the consequences?" She paused. "I did, and as far as I can tell, the benefits outweigh them.”

“All I know is that you did it without the rest of us agreeing to it.” 

“Is that what your problem is? That I did not tell you? Or that we shifted our focus? June and Baz seem to be absolutely okay with it. So what is your problem?”, she was rummaging through her locker.

“This entire situation is my problem!” He came closer. He was so close that for a second she felt intimidated. 

But then she grabbed her bag, her sweater and moved towards him. “The deed is done. Nothing you can change about it now.” She looked into his eyes for a few silent seconds, trying to decipher him. And she spoke, silently, with emotion: “You are not mad because of this, you’re mad because of the Friday evening. And now all you’re trying to do is to push me away using anger, just like you always do. Nothing ever changes, I guess”. He swears he can see a speck of sorrow etched into her eyes. “Have a good evening, Dr. Ramsey.” She brushed past him, not before giving him a disappointed look. 

That damned evening he did kiss her. She pulled away and they were back at square one. She does not seem to be giving it any thought, but all he could do after that night is think of her. How she decided she should not need him. It was only logical for him to help her do so. Even if he could never forget her himself.

He purposefully put two month’s worth of distance, so he could do that. Being next to her only evokes the emotion he never felt. She was infuriating, wise, understanding, gentle. She was like nobody else. Had he known the Friday evening would cause so many problems, he would not have asked her to join him. But now he’s angry at her for nothing. She is right. What she did was the right course of action. He is just not used to letting the control slip away and she has managed to take all of it. 

next chapter

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Tags (please tell me if you want to be added or removed. I took liberties and added all people behind the likes and reblogs from pt. I).