My thoughts about Edvin's sommarprat
And a little bit of a summary
My first thought was that he has great voice to listen to.
He talks alot about being scared to lose himself and become someone he doesn't want to be. It's a red thread through it all and well captures who he is as a person.
He also says that's he has always worked hard during his 14 years in the business and that he's so grateful for those years.
Then everything changed exactly one year ago and it took him a long time to reflect over what he had experienced - 174 days. What happened? Is he happy? Was his experience good or bad? How could it happen? It all went so fast!
The focus of his sommar is the 174 days following the premier, autumn of 2021.
Even though this is something we've kind of suspected, hearing him say it feels raw.
He's so scared to lose himself, to become someone he doesn't want to be. He feels like a deep thinker. An overthinker and wow I recognise that in myself so much...
The way he talks about thinking over and over about what to post for the premier... relatable...tbe way he couldn't sleep... relatable...the way he wanted to check with everyone else when they would post a few minutes before the premier or a few minutes after? 9 am sharp?
I think about things like that all the time and I can't imagine how that moment was for him makes me feel both 😅 and 🥺
He talks about the posters across Stockholm beforehand and how it made him exposed. How scared he was the day before and how he felt "like shit" and he couldn't do anyhting but just ait quietly while eating pizza with his friends.
And then we know what happened...
He talks about the day after. People filmed themselves while reacting people dm:d him on instagram. Hia followers climbed. The production met for a celebration.
He talks so much about keeping both feet on the ground and keep his integrity and being scared of getting to full of himself.
- I'll say this over and over because it really is the red thread.
It took him five days to reach 100k followers and his mother woke him up to tell him. He was sleeping on the couch after a party.
His talk feels so honest and he's not acared to admit that it hasn't been just a good experience for him but also scary, overwhelming and made him overthink alot.
He talks about losing controll over the role of Wilhelm because now he belonged to everyone.
He talks about getting offers for roles that were to similar to Wilhelm and how he was very mindful of what he said yes to and not. He says no to alot of collabs and premiers.
He says it was hard and that he hates saying no to people but that he's proud of himself for doing it.
He talks about Young royals being completely different from the shows he's done in sweden and how so many people contacted him from all around the world, telling him how YR changed their lives, how he changed their lives. How YR have made them come out.
He says it feels surreal that so many people feel like this and that is portrayal of Wilhelm have affected so many real people in real life. He feels proud and honoured.
He talks about his face being tattooed on people's bodies and how he thinks people will regret it. He feels bad that people want his handwriting or face on their body and tried to really make sure they really wanted it.
He feels honoured though but now he's become so used to it. Though he says his looks will change from his 18 year old self that will stay on his fans' bodies for the rest of their lives.
He talks about coming back to school after summer and how he always felt like he belonged there even when he was absent. But things had changed...
People starred in a different way and many more people noticed him in ways that made him uncomfortable as if he had a funny hat on and that's why people starred. They didn't see him as a person. So school went from being a place where he would be himself to making him feel like some sort of attraction for people to look ut. Thankfully it took two months or so before people got used to him and things got better.
He talked alot to his teachers and his so thankful for them.
At times He's wished people would forget so he could just do his thing. He's felt lonely with his feelings sometimes because so few understand. He has talked to the people close to him though.
So for him this talk is a way of letting it all out.
He talks about it sometimes being really scary, especially in Paris. 30 people waited for him and followed him around everywhere he went and by the end of the trip he had nightmares of people getting inside his room.
Yet he feels bad for being scared, and feels guilty because the only thing people wanted to do was say hey or give him stuff and it made him feel ungrateful because he didn't enjoy it. - this breaks my heart. He talks about losing control in Paris and that scared him alot.
It hasn't been that bad since then though but he's also developed some strategies to avoid situations like that. He walks fast and determined to avoid people when he's in a hurry or wants to be alone.
He talks alot about fear. Fear and worry for his own well-being, what his friends and family will think about both old ones and new ones. What he thinks about himself.
Most of all he's scared of becoming someone else, of not being able to say no in different situations and set boundaries. He's scared to hurt people, to forget people and let them down.
He says that he thinks that this fear stems from his love and need for them and he thanks his family and friends for scaring him shitless because he doesn't want to lose them.
He talks about reading the book about Avicii - Tom Bergling during Christmas and how it moved him deeply. How he could recognise himself in some of it and being a little scared about how things could end up.
He talked to his parents and decided to set stricted rules and boundaries for himself as a person - he needed to be in control.
He cut down on interviews and focused on himself
He spent christmas at home and realised just how exhausted and spent he was. He slept for hours and was still tired. But after allowing himself this break he could come back with new energy.
If he doesn't become an actor he wants to be a philosopher - he loves philosophy. (Can't relate, I hated philosophy)
He also talks about little everyday stuff that happened during those 174 days. His school work, going on dates, having a crush on someone getting a parking ticket that he appeal against, winning the appeal. He feels greatful for those little moments of normality. It makes him feel more in control because so many aspects of his life are out of his control. Even if they are amazing things and good experiences that makes him happy, being unable to control them scares him.
Because what if he can't control himself in situations when he's hurt, sad or scared? It makes him nervous.
His friends and family and the little things in life is what defines him and makes him feel save when alot of other things are uncertain and out of his control.
He talks about being terrified before the premiere with millions of thoughts racing through is mind how he felt anxious.
But since then he has find a way to deal. He talks to fans a certain way, he thinks about what he says - both on social media and in interviews.
Even if it's necessary for him to do all this to handle his new reality it also scares him. He doesn't want to get stuck either. He wants to tesr new things out, be himself and tested new things.
But the balance is hard and he's scared to fail. Not only with this but in everything he does.
After every project he's done he tells himself he did terribly and that it's the worst thing ever. Just a couple of months ago, he experienced it again after wrapping season 2.
The stakes are high but at the same time they aren't. Because even if the new season does terrible (it won't) they have still worked hard for it. It's art. And even if it's shit he will be able to adapt and move on and he needs to think like that to be able to cope.
He feels proud of himself for adapting to this new life.
He talks about being done with school, saying goodbye to teachers and other staff in school. He's proud of getting through everything.
And now that school is done he will be able to focus entirely on work. The future lies ahead and he can do anything if he works hard.
Young royals will be a part of him for a long long long time.
He will say goodbye to Wilhelm because other roles are waiting for him.
The Young royals effect still affects him to this day. Alot. Mostly because he's learned alot.
He's learned to set boundaries and most of all to reflect.
He knows what he wants to do in life and he thinks he knows how to get there.
One thing he knows for sure. He doesn't have to be scared about it...not really.
Again he feels raw and honest and i appreciate his honesty. Not everything was great, things were also scary and stressful. I love that he allows him self to be this honest and I hope he doesn't feel guilty for bringing up the bad stuff. It doesn’t feel like that. It feels like this talk is for him and he really lets his thoughts and feelings out and I love it.
He is so mature and thoughtful and it's obvious that he's a thinker that also loves to explore that part of himself.
It feels like this year has taught him so much about himself and made him grow as a person and he's so wise for his age. He seems to reflect alot and take time to do so.
It feels like he's more mindful of himself and his happiness and well-being and that makes me so happy. Like he said, it has taught him so much about himself and I can feel it in the way he speaks.
He's so open, brave and vulnerable about this special experience and it really gives you an idea of how it was to live through it - good and bad!
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