β‘ PARK JONGSEONG - THINGS I WANTED TO SAY ; an 02z series
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ΰ° tags: based off of Ryan Higa βNice Guyβ!, fluff, comedy, angst, heartbreak, toxic masculinity, jaeyun is pretty convincing, 02z gmfu, no smut, the others as side characters, non!idol, uni!students, business!jay, communications!jaeyun, media!sunghoon, their major has nothing to do with it lol
itβs hot in the library. way too hot for jays liking.
he hates how his skin prickles with drops of sweat and coats his face in a sheer glaze. he knows he looks like a forgotten krispy kreme donut thatβs been sitting out on a bench in the hot sun for days, just melting and waiting to be thrown away. and if it wasnβt for sunghoon and jake demanding through text that they all meet in the stupid library, heβd be comfy and clean in his dorm room, lounging on his bed in his 100% linen pajama set where thereβs actual AC blowing in his face.
instead, heβs seated in the blazing hot building, checking his friends locations on life360 and pondering how the fuck he was the first one to arrive. for god sake, his last class was the farthest from here whilst the other two dimwits shared the same professor, only a couple minutes away.
and out of all the days that they chose to hang out in said library, where thereβs usually shivering AC, they had to choose the day when it was broken.
but as a good, understanding, loyal and amazing friend that he is, jay gives them the benefit of the doubt. even if the school did send out an email warning students about it, no one really checks their spam folders. right? at least jay doesnβt.
why do the emails even go in his spam? he doesnβt know either.
when the time on his phone hits 4:28 pm, he finally presses the call button on sunghoons contact and listens to the continuous ringing.
jay whips his head around at the familiar voice and spots his two best friends rushing in through the doors, heavy backpacks being slung onto the table in front of him.
βhow long have you- you know what, never mind, i donβt really care.β jake plops onto the chair, already pushing his long sleeves up and fanning himself with his hands. βalso, itβs fucking hot in here. they shouldβve sent an email out or something.β
sunghoon wipes his sweaty forehead with a hand. βthey did, maybe check your email and youβd see it.β
βdonβt want to. they go to spam anyways.β jake says, leaning back, mouth agape in another pathetic attempt to calm his rising bodily temperature.
jay rolls his eyes at the pair. the bangs on his head that heβd neatly styled that morning were now drooping into his eyes, brushing his eyelashes, and he takes a mental note that the two men in front of him are beginning to look as disheveled as he feels from the heat. he starts to feel better about himself.
βyou guys said to meet in here at 4. itβs 4:30. what the hell took you guys so long?β jay questions and wipes his face. the heat was starting to get to him.
his friends immediately burst out bickering at his words, pointing at each other in accusation and blaming the fault on one another.
sunghoons voice practically rang throughout the library. βI TOLD JAKE WE HAD TO GO BUT NOOOOO, HE WANTED TO FLIRT HIS WAY INTO OLIVIAS LECTURE NOTES.β the old librarian shoots them a sharp glare, their argument instantly dies down and jay sends an apologetic smile towards her.
jay hated the elderly hag but that was besides the point. okay, he hated her because she was always narrowing her crusty, dusty eyes at him for some reason every time he stepped foot in here. anyway-
βbro, for the millionth time, i wasnβt flirting with her. i just wanted to get this one specific part that i missed, which you wouldnβt share with me, so i had to resort to her.β jake flails his hands in the air.
βyou only missed that part cuz you were, again, flirting. but with who? not oliviaβ¦ becca. THEN you went to olivia.β
jay scrunches his face in disgust. βdude, really?β
βweβre getting off track here,β jake waves off the judgmental stares of his friends and grabs his long forgotten backpack on the table, unzipping it and pulling a notebook out. βyou guys know how i major in communications, right? well, for some reason my stupid major requires me to take a psychology class, and today i learned that the reason why you two losers donβt got game,β he points at jay and sunghoon, though for some reason his finger lingers on Jay longer than necessary. βis because you guys are too nice.β
jay lets out an unimpressed βhuhβ alongside sunghoon.
βbut i have a girlfriend?β sunghoon murmurs in confusion.
βiβm not understanding.β jay scratches his eyebrow. heβs a little confused at the logic.
his overly excited friend lets out a frustrated groan before continuing his odd philosophical idea. βhave you ever heard of the saying, βnice guys finish lastβ? it means that the nicer a guy is, the less chance he has of getting a girlfriend,β
βget this,β jake scoots his chair closer to the table, sticky arms pressed against the surface, completely invested. βwomen love bad boys. guys whoβre confident, assertive, and have that alpha vibe to them. those romance books that they read? 99% of the male leads are either mafia bosses, damaged billionaires, or even arch-nemeses,β
βand what do they all have in common, besides being emotionally unavailable? They treat the female lead like crap. and somehow, it always ends with her falling in love and living happily ever after in a big mansion.β jake blinks at him with a grin.
itβs silent between the three of them for a fat minute before sunghoon bursts out into a fit of laughter. his hand smacks at the table and it echoes. jay and jake look at him. βthat is the dumbest shit you have ever said.β sunghoon manages to wheeze out, body folded in half.
jay watches as sunghoon wipes away the forming tears in his eyes, his buddy trying to calm down from his remaining giggles. his eyes move over to jake, whoβs now sitting upright in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest.
βdonβt be so fucking rude.β jake shoves at sunghoons shoulder.
he takes a moment between his friends squabble to consider jakes idea. and he canβt believe that it sounds pretty convincing, not that heβd admit it aloud to jakes face anyway. the man would never let it go. βso what if what youβre saying is true, what would i do to become more βassertiveβ or whatever you said?β
the duo in front of him pauses their little fight, jakes hand, about to grab a handful of sunghoons hair, freezes in the air. he immediately fixes himself, dropping his arm like nothing happened.
βyouβve been going out with that girl, right? what was her name again?β jake ponders and sunghoon sits up straighter at the mention of jays current crush.
βyeah, yeah! y/n! how many dates have you been on with her?β
jay thinks back at the mention of you. your pretty face. your soft hair. your hands that fit perfectly in his own. the sweet vanilla chapstick that lingered on his lips after your second date. he had walked you back to your dorm after and you stood on your tiptoes, pecking him in gratitude. he canβt get the sugary taste out of his mouth and frankly, he doesnβt want to. βtwo. but iβm taking her out tonight so itβll be three.β
jake nods. βall you gotta do is stop doing what youβre doing,β he says it with confidence. βstop holding the door open, donβt reach for the bill or pull out her chair for her.β
βwhat- thatβs just the bare minimum a guy should do though?β
βexactly. donβt do it. again, women love bad boys and thatβs what bad boys do.β jake says and jay just stares at his friend again, feeling more confused than before but he thinks heβs starting to understand it, so he just nods slowly.
sunghoons the first to stand up, slinging his backpack on. βwell, imma head out. i have a date with my girl tonight too.β heβs already turning away from them before bidding a goodbye, disappearing from their view after the library doors shut and jake begins to pack up.
βlook man, donβt think about it too hard. itβs easy. just stop being the loser of a gentleman that you are and just give the bad boy thing a try. youβll see immediate love results.β is the last thing jake says before leaving too.
jays alone again now with his thoughts, his best friends words lingering in his head.
the car engine dies down and jays keys dangle in his hands before he hops out of his vehicle and pockets them. heβd decided to finally use his car after a good month of it sitting uselessly in the designated students parking lot, unneeded and collecting dust.
but the restaurant he wanted to take you to tonight was a bit out of walking distance and he knew you were a complainer. a cute complainer.
the summer breeze brushes past him as he steps up onto the curb, the blazing heat from earlier finally cooling down and jay mentally thanks the universe for the nice weather.
a small smile appears at the sight of you waiting outside by your front door, but he fixes his face into a frown almost immediately and stops himself from walking toward you. he leans against his car and crosses his arms, hoping he looks somewhat cool.
youβre the first to move, your steps light with a skip in them, and he so badly wants to laugh at how cute you are. you seem so excited.
βready?β jay ignores your greeting and nods to his car. his hand instinctively reaches to open the car door for you but he stops himself, pushing off his car and heading straight to the drivers side instead.
he gets comfortable behind the wheel, seatbelt clicking into place as he turns the car back on. meanwhile, you hop into the passenger seat, seeming a little confused by his sudden, odd behavior.
he stays silent while you blabber on about random things and you even ask him about his day, to which he just shrugs in response. a dick move. he knows. but a bad boy must do what a bad boy does.
itβs not long before you both pull into the parking lot, getting out of the car and walking to the restaurant. jay makes sure heβs ahead of you and opens the doors, swinging it dramatically. and when he looks back to make sure youβre following him, he sees you practically slam into the glass, stumbling back with a hand clutching your forehead and the hurt in your face makes his heart shatter into a million pieces.
his mouth opens to ask if youβre okay, but he bites his tongue. youβre okay. if you werenβt, you wouldβve been cryingβ¦ right?
βtwo for Jay.β he mutters to the greeter.
youβre shown to your shared table. he sees you standing there, waiting for him to pull the chair out for you like he had done in your previous dates. instead, jay plops himself down into his own seat and busies himself with the menu.
the restaurant isnβt busy. a few people scattered around, and usual chatter in the public space is limited. so when you seem to hesitate and finally sit down across from him, you steal a chance to ask if heβs okay. βyou seem off today.β you say.
jay dramatically rolls his eyes, his chest heaving from how heavy the sigh he lets out is. βyeah, whatever. can you just order?β he dismisses your question and quickly orders for himself, shutting the menu in his hands closed and handing it back to the waiter, who glances towards you in pity at his behavior.
he pretends to look at his cuticles after the waiter leaves, leaving the both of you in silence once again.
βare you sure youβre okay?β
βif i wasnβt okay, would i be here right now? geez.β he huffs and crosses his arms, rolling his eyes at you.
your mouth is open, jaw slack at his rude attitude and jay sees your shocked expression, rolling his eyes again. βwhat is it now?β he groans.
βi just- you just- what the hell is wrong with you?β your tone is pitched and it catches a couple of glances from the few strangers surrounding you both. βwhy are you being such a jerk tonight?β
jay watches your flustered state with a bored look, your hands trembling on the table and says nothing in return. he can feel the tips of his ears and his cheeks becoming hot. he tells himself to just keep the act going, that youβre gonna fall in love with him. that the bad boy always gets the girl in the end. that this will be all worth it.
the food that you had both ordered arrives and you immediately call for the bill, looking done with him.
βif youβre just gonna be like that then just take me home.β you slam the cash you had taken out from your purse onto the table, already storming out of the restaurant and jay follows, almost slamming into the glass doors as you had before.
you cut him off before he can even finish his sentence as you reach his car. βdo not call me your bro. are you fucking serious right now jay?β
βwhat i was gonna say before you so rudely cut me off, is that youβre not allowed to sit in the front.β
you stand there dumbstruck at his words and stare at him, jay standing before you with his hands in his pockets. heβs trying to look as casual as possible.
βthatβs what you care about?β you shriek. βfirst, you donβt even care to ask about my day. second, you didnβt even hold the door open for me like you always do and third, youβre rolling your eyes at me like i did something. now, i canβt even sit in the front even though i just sat there? did- did i do something? did i say something to upset you?β
βbro, it ainβt that serious.β
jays eyes widen behind his sunglasses at your sudden tears, your small, frustrated sobs filling your ears. his heart is beating against his chest like someoneβs hitting him. he wishes you were hitting him. he wishes jakeβs words would get out of his head so he could apologize. but he doesnβt.
βi donβt understand. whyβre you being like this? just tell me what i did so i can apologize, so you can stop being like this.β you cry, trying to wipe away the flood of tears on your face. but he stays quiet, the words stuck in his throat.
and at his lack of words, you turn away from him, telling him that youβd rather walk home than be in the same space as a jerk.
he watches you walk away in your pretty, yellow sundress, the sound of your heels fading with every step. only after youβre gone does he take off his stupid sunglasses. his skin practically burns under his clothes and he can feel himself starting to panic.
did he lose you? is he going to lose you? was he a jerk? was jake.. wrong?
jay grabs his phone from out of his pocket and dials his friends number, muttering under his breath. βyou better pick up, you fucking asshole.β he throws himself into the the drivers seat.
βaye man.β jakes voice rings in his ear.
βyou remember your stupid idea?β jay snaps. βyeah, youβre wrong. so fucking wrong. sheβs walking home now and itβs almost 8, the suns already going down, and sheβs pissed at me. she was fucking crying.β
βcalm down, this is just the beginning of phase 2. sheβll text you tomorrow and ask to meet up again. just trust the process.β jake says.
βtrust the process? dude, did you not just hear what i said? sheβs walking home alone.β
he canβt deal with his friend anymore. he hangs up before jake can finish his sentence and immediately calls you, only to be sent straight to voicemail. again. and again.
now heβs driving aimlessly around the block, panic crawling back up his spine.
itβs only when jay finally opens his eyes the next morning that he scrambles out of bed and calls you again. when you donβt answer, he checks his recent call log.
jay sits hunched on the edge of his bed, stomach twisting in on itself. his whole body aches, heavy with exhaustion and regret. the fact that he doesnβt even know if you made it home safe eats at him from the inside out.
and he thinks that maybe he deserves it. this is his punishment for listening to jakeβs stupid idea. for committing to it. for acting like a jerk. for treating you like garbage.
but he knows better now. he knows sitting around and moping wonβt fix anything.
so he starts to get ready for the day. his body protests but he pushes through.
jay rushes out of his dorm once he looks like himself again instead of the asshole he was last night, and speeds to the nearest flower shop. he buys you a bouquet of your favorite flowers.
he can only hope itβs not too late. that he didnβt fuck everything you both built.
when he steps in front of your door, let in by another friend of his, does he feel his body begin to tremble. heβs so nervous. so terrified that youβll look at him with nothing but hate in your pretty eyes.
βwhat.β your voice is flat as you open the door, and his heart drops to the floor at the look of disdain on your face.
it takes him a second to speak. instead, he presses the bouquet into your hands, fingers brushing yours before pulling away.
βiβm sorry,β jay blurts, the words tumbling over each other. βiβm so, so sorry. i wasnβt acting like myself last night and i know that doesnβt excuse anything. i was an asshole. i hurt you. i treated you like garbage and you didnβt do anything to deserve it.β
his hands shake as he keeps going, like stopping would make it worse.
βjake said something really stupid and i believed it, but thatβs on me. i chose to act like that. i chose to hurt you and i thought i was doing the right thing and i wasnβt. i shouldβve trusted myself. i shouldβve treated you better. i shouldβve justββ
he cuts himself off with a breath. βiβm sorry.β
jay hears the plastic of the bouquet crinkle in your hands, a beat of silence between you.
βyou really are stupid,β you say.β if you ever act like that again, weβre done for real.β a small smile appears on your face.
his body surrenders the tension, the guilty weight being lifted off his shoulders at your words. he tugs you into a bone crushing hug with his arms wrapped around your body.
βiβm sorry.β he repeats, words muffled in the crown of your head.
jay knows heβs a lucky bastard. so goddamn lucky.
and heβs never taking jakeβs advice ever again.
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