STEVEN UNIVERSE KILLS ME

because I had this awesome password journal as a kid

but it was a bitch to open because you had to say the password the same way every time

so after a while I gave up on it and never tried to open it again

but today I was cleaning my room and found it

so I decided to open it, thinking that it contained old journal entries or drawings from when I was a kid

but I don’t know the password anymore and it didn’t even have any batteries

so I thought maybe unscrewing the back would open it

ha

haha

nope

so now I have to deal with all these wires and gears and shit and end up unscrewing more things and breaking some stuff too

finally I get in

and it’s fucking empty

but I notice the little compartment thingy and open it

there was a folded up piece of paper inside

and I can’t stop laughing because I worked so hard to get into the thing and past me is just like

wake up at 4am just to listen to you talk about a bad dream you just had

tease you for little things just to apologize six million times when you act upset

be nervous to kiss you for the first time because they don’t want to fuck up 

touch your butt 

offer to buy you a book that you absolutely love, and insist when you tell them no

watch your favorite movies with you even if they don’t like them

let you give them too much information and just listen to you talk for hours 

stay up until you fall asleep just because they want to talk to you

share your love for dogs

talk about animals with you for hours 

make you laugh even if it’s 2:30am and you’re laying in bed crying because you sat there and over thought

reassure you that they care and will always be there for you

tell you that they think you’re cute when you get angry at a video game 

laugh with you 

claim to not know what you’re talking about just so they can watch as you struggle to explain it just to tell you they already know and just think you’re adorable