JoiningSaturn46 @joiningsaturn46 - Tumblr Blog

THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR, TRUE BELIEVERS! THE NEWEST HERO TO HIT YOUR DASHBOARDS IS HERE!

In the grand tradition of heroes who showed up uninvited and never left...

#intro post #introductory post #saturn46 #divider by strangergraphics #header made by me!#all art owned by its respective creators

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the-efemmeral

whenever i see this in my notifications it feels like a kiss on the forehead

#saturn speaks

The worst thing about being a Spider-Man fan is you'll say that you love Peter Parker and then the person responding will be like "Oh yeah me too!" before describing a man who you've never heard of in your life

#spiderman #marvel #peter parker #this applies to all fans btw not just mcu #a lot y'all 616 glazers too have this problem #i know it's a character with a long history but like we all gotta have a baseline right?

You wanna know what I wanna see? More movies about the actual comic book industry and all the nonsense that happens there.

Like imagine a horribly inaccurate but entertaining version of how Todd McFarlane made Image Comics.

#comics #comic books #i wonder if this could even be made #get Baz lurman to direct it

Tumblr recommended me a PeterMJ account and legit the first two posts were a Trump joke about how he'll fix Spider-Man comics and how Zendaya can't act

#i hate this website #saturn speaks

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superman-elimination-machine

My Issue #6 analysis is up!

Read on Substack

Read on Ao3

Here's some bits:

These little snippets into Kal’s life during this year and a half alone in space are so evocative; they tell so much using just body language. I wonder what sorts of things he does to cope. Does he daydream, or pace, or read/watch anything Sol’s got stored in his archives? Does he hear the voices of his parents comforting him, imagining they are here with him?

Everything he knows he knows and loves about his homeland is “foreign”; it’s too dangerous to share, he can’t let himself be close to anyone. And this carries through throughout the rest of his life- like in issue #13, when he says “because I showed the world something I cared about. Never do that again. Never again.” There’s some great parallels between Issue #6 and the Battle of Smallville. Both times Kal comes here, the one thing he views as home is ripped from him by Lazarus. The first time, it’s the Kents. The second time, it’s Sol. In issue #12, he calls Sol his “safe place”. His home.

To me, it’s this kid who’s weeping: Kal in Issue #5. He’s realized he’s already failed; it’s already too late. Absolute Kal is taken into the darkest depths of hopelessness and despair and he’s still Superman. Even when there are times he’s completely given up, when he believes this world is impossible to save and he just wants to die and leave it all behind, it doesn’t erase who he is. He doesn’t become evil and start slaughtering everyone and decide to rule the world. He’s still his kind and gentle self, even if he’s angry and broken. Eventually, he keeps going.But right now, he is hopeless.

#dc comics #absolute superman #absolute universe #absolute superman appreciation #< new tag for people who actually like the book lmao #keep cooking op

freakyolivelady

that one mutual who is too 😢 kind

joiningsaturn46

Big shout-out to @lilcutespideynerd for letting me kick down their door every day and yell about Smallville. ♥️

#saturn speaks

Tyler Hoechlin and Elizabeth Tulloch version of Clois 🥰

#dc #superman #superman and lois #cw superman #thats it that's the post #i love then so much #theyre perfect and the perfect Clois #legit can't be beat I'm so serious #i love all Clois but cw Clois #UHHHHHHHH #I LOVE ROMANCE

Matt: GUYS WE GOT TO STOP KINGPIN FOR THE FIFTH TIME THIS WEEK!

Average Foggy Nelson Subplot:

#mcu #mcu daredevil #mcu daredevil ba #mcu foggy nelson

Need that multiverse Superman meet up so Smallville Clark can go "Ah yes Lex, my friend who fell from grace," and then every other Clark in the multiverse hits him with this

#dc #superman #smallville #smallville clark kent #like imagine he says that meanwhile cavill is in a corner like 'dude he killed me'#and fucking curensupes is not having it cause of malek #the DRAMA

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strawbxttries

okay after brand new day can we reboot spider-man again but this time with parksborn? thx

#i want that but i dont want the mcu fans to have parksborn #< prev tags #no offense op but im not losing out on finally getting an actually good petermj wedding #harry needs to stay in the closet for at least 5 more years

Every day, I find something new about Norman Osborn to hate

#marvel #spiderman #norman osborn #i cant believe people actully prefer this dude to miles #lol lmao even

Sometimes a person will tell me how good the DCAU is and how "Gunn should just copy that," and I don't have it in me to tell them that DCAU Superman and Wonder Woman are legit dogshit and not allowed in my house

#anti dcau #if you bring that shit into my home i will fucking kill you #cant imagine fumbling that badly #theres 4 good seasons on btas #and then static #THATS ALL

The tale of DCEU Superman is fucking insane from both an inside and outside point of view. I genuinely need everyone who reads this to understand how unbelievably fucking stupid this whole saga is.

So it's 2013. We get a brand new Superman. And that's actually a huge deal because, unlike Batman or Spider-Man, Superman never really had a "new" version before. Superman Returns comes out, which is basically the worst movie ever made, and audiences decide they don't really want to watch a deadbeat dad dressed like Superman anymore.

So Warner Bros. looks over at Nolan making a billion dollars and goes, "We should make a Superman movie. But like...realistic or some shit."

And honestly? As much as I hate it now, they were probably right. That's what people wanted back then. Everything had to be gritty. Everything had to be "for grown-ups."

So we get Man of Steel.

And like...it's not bad. In fact, it's good. Amazing, even. For about fifty-five fucking minutes. Then Jonathan Kent turns into Code Red Dumbass and dies because a tornado apparently has anti-superpowers. Then the military starts getting sucked off for like half the movie. Then Clark starts launching people through office buildings. And then the movie ends with Henry Cavill giving us the biggest, warmest Superman smile you've ever seen while a single mother is probably dying under the rubble he helped create.

But fuck it. We have a foundation. Maybe they'll actually let Superman become Superman.

Then 2016 rolls around.

Batman v Superman.

Holy shit this is gonna be cool. Ben Affleck is Batman. Gal Gadot is Wonder Woman. She can't act for shit but we'll cross that bridge later. Batman and Superman are finally gonna fight. This is gonna be awesome.

Then the movie comes out, and it turns out cutting THIRTY FUCKING MINUTES out of your movie is a catastrophically dogshit idea. The plot barely makes sense. Lex Luthor acts like he snorted six pounds of Adderall before every scene. Batman is branding people because apparently he's a fucking cowboy now.

And Superman dies.

WHAT THE FUCK.

Bro has been Superman for like twelve minutes. Who the fuck kills Superman before he's even gotten to BE Superman?

So DC completely fucking panics because nobody wants this shit anymore. Warner Bros. decides the solution is to hire the guy who made The Avengers. Turns out lightning doesn't strike twice. Snyder has to leave because of an actual family tragedy that I'm not gonna joke about, and Joss Whedon takes over.

The jokes suck. The colors suck. The movie sucks.

Then somehow... this story gets even dumber.

Warner Bros. spends the next few years telling everyone the Snyder Cut doesn't exist. "It was never finished." "You guys made it up." "It's impossible."

Turns out there actually WAS a four-hour version of the movie sitting in a vault the whole time, but that's another story.

So begins what I like to call The Adventures of Henry Cavill's Five-Minute Contract.

Every six months, someone asks if Henry Cavill is Superman again. Every six months, Henry gives the saddest non-answer you've ever heard. Every six months, Warner Bros. says something completely different. Nobody knows what the fuck is happening.

Then Shazam! comes out.

Superman shows up. Except...they couldn't actually get Henry Cavill. So Superman is played by a guy's neck. I'm not kidding. They got Superman but not his face.

Then Peacemaker comes out and the Justice League shows up again. Batman gets a silhouette. Superman gets another silhouette. We're now two cameos deep and Warner Bros. apparently still can't decide whether the guy playing Superman should actually appear as Superman.

Then Black Adam happens, and somehow THE ROCK becomes the most important person in Superman's career. He spends months telling everyone "the hierarchy of power in the DC Universe is about to change." He refuses to make Black Adam fight Shazam because apparently that's beneath him. Instead, he wants Superman.

And somehow...it works. Henry Cavill comes home. He walks out of the smoke wearing the suit. The John Williams theme starts playing. The internet collectively loses its fucking mind. Holy shit. We're so back.

Henry posts a video saying Superman is officially back. This is it. We're finally gonna get another Superman movie.

Then, about six weeks later, James Gunn and Peter Safran take over DC. Henry gets called into a meeting. And then has to go on Instagram and basically say, "Never mind."

Imagine being that poor bastard.

You spend ten years getting jerked around by studio executives. You finally get to announce to the world that you're Superman again. Millions of people celebrate. Then, a month later, you have to tell everyone you got fired.

Then, because Warner Bros. apparently enjoys kicking people while they're down, The Flash comes out. Instead of using Henry, or Brandon Routh, or even Tyler Hoechlin, they decide to CGI Christopher Reeve into the movie because apparently nobody in that building can make a normal fucking decision.

And that's the end of the DCEU Superman.

An actor who got jerked around by Hollywood for a decade. A version of Clark Kent who spent more time being teased than actually getting to be Superman. Every single time this character built any momentum, somebody at Warner Bros. pulled the emergency brake.

Sleep well, sweet prince. We hardly knew you.

#anti dceu #i needed to write this all down cause its too much man

Hate how "older brother core" is just some bullshit white boy fantasy from the early 2000s that people made and not any of the actual cool shit you get from having an older sibling

#saturn speaks #its always about rodrick from those wimpy kid movies with like some random 2000s song and not anything about older brothers #as someone who actully has an older brother it rules #and sucks too #but mostly rules

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

I know the MCU is gonna push a "big brother" relationship with Peter and Frank but I'm on m fucking knees begging for Peter to just punch his lights out like one time.

Like he tries the shit he does with Matt and Peter just decks him halfway through the speech cause he is not taking it

#mcu spiderman #god i hope this happens #i CANNOT do another irondad

orangei-sindy

tw: sexual assault

Valerie D'Orazio, a comic writer and editor, posted on twitter in 2023 about how she was sexually harassed/assaulted by Stephen Wacker, Marvel's newly chosen Editor in Chief. More detail under the cut.

orangei-sindy

UPDATE: Valerie D'Orazio has made a followup post on twitter.

please reblog this version

link

#comictwt #please reblog this or post about it if you can we cannot let this fly under the radar #< prev tags #reblogging this new one

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