āI was there in the dark when you spilled your first blood
I am here now, as you run from me still
You can't hide from me foreverā - Ptolemaea
It was always this familiar dark place she was sent to.
Anna was accustomed to this dream at this point, if you could even call it that. She once heard from someone that sleep is death playing shy, and this was fairly reminiscent of it. Itās completely pitch black dark, you couldnāt even see the tips of your fingers if you tried. No matter how far she walked, nothing blocked her from transversing further.
Disembodied hands would grab at her side and graze her cheek. She wondered if they were truly there or just her mind playing tricks on her. Still, she would swat at them. Still, she would draw back and shiver in disgust at the mild violation. Occasionally, she would hear a blood curdling scream from somewhere in the blackness. Sometimes it was far away. Others, right next to her ear. Despite mirroring their suffering and fear in this lonely place, it never made it feel any less cold and isolated.
This was hell. After reading the Bible at 12 and getting to the verse it was described, that was what she concluded. There was no demons torturing you for eternity in unspeakable ways. It was no Danteās Inferno. It was darkness, weeping, screaming, and complete and utter despair.
The only thing missing was fire and agony, but, as Anna thought thankfully, you couldnāt feel pain in dreams. That would only wake you up.
Her only question; Why was she sent here? What had she done?
One would think after several years of experiencing this nightly torment that she would no longer be afraid of it, but no. Anna would still walk with uncertainty, her hands reaching out in front of her for something, anything to grasp onto and make the chaos make sense, but she could never find it. Even now, she still covered her ears to block out the horrible screams from countless people she had no way of saving. Her heart would still ache with the all too familiar pain of loneliness and betrayal from a source she couldnāt ascertain. It never got easier.
Tonight was different though.
There was a formless door. It opened just slightly. Precious light spilled from within onto the oak floor. Anna reached towards it.
The metallic taste of blood hit her tongue.
She hesitated. Her outstretched hand shook unsteadily. A part of her understood that what lie beyond this door was something that she did not want to see, something she was simply not ready to face. She didnāt want to enter it, but she knew she had to.
Suddenly, she was a little girl again. The delicate hands before her gave way to small, stubby ones, nail beds bitten and peeling. She carefully peered inside.
This didnāt feel like a dream anymore, it felt like reality.
And yet it just couldnāt be. The monster standing before her couldnāt be real. She had to be dreaming, cause if she wasnātā
The beast with seven heads audibly shifted itās haunting blue eyes to look at her. She froze, then began heaving, unable to get enough air into her lungs. She couldnāt move, couldnāt do anything to run or defend herself, though in all fairness, what could she do? There were two bodies on the floor, blood gushed out from their torn, mangled limbs. The monsterās elongated hands were drenched in blood. Gnashing teeth easily tore apart flesh from a leg. It gingerly offered her a severed arm, as if it meant nothing to indulge in the most taboo thing imaginable.
Her heart was pounding. Her mouth spilled words beyond her control.
āJohan? You- W-What have you done!?ā
The most demonic, distorted version of her brotherās voice came echoed out of sync from the many heads of that creature.
āAnna, please listen to me. We have to-ā
All at once Anna was in her bed again, sweating bullets, breathing heavily and staring at the ceiling. She had her blanket clutched to her chest in a white-knuckled grip. She slowly adjusted to her new surroundings and sat up, scanning her room for anything out of place, glancing back every so often at an oddly placed coat and the closet. Anna was used to nightmares, but not ones of that caliber. She was admittedly shaken, and didnāt think more sleep was in the cards for tonight.
The bedside clock read 1:43am. Pictures of her, her family, and friends stared up at her with their mocking smiling faces, like she didnāt just go through hell and back. She picked the one of her and Johan at their high school graduation ceremony and smiled, feeling herself begin to calm down. Johan looked at her with such a gentle expression, while she beamed at the camera, her arms wrapped around her barely older brother in a vice grip.
It was one of her favorite pictures. It served as a reminder that no matter what happened, he would always be there for her.
She put the photo down and slipped out of bed, leaving the room.
Johan would probably be asleep by now, but you honestly never knew with him. He had quite the odd sleep schedule.
His door was just barely left opened, the plain, navy blue queen sized bed was neatly made and without its usual inhabitant. She could hear him scribbling something on a piece of paper and flipping through the pages of a book. Hopefully, she wasnāt interrupting his late night study session.
She knocked the side of the door frame.
āJohan? Is it ok if I come in?ā
The writing paused and he called for her from his desk. She smiled warmly and entered the room. He swung his chair to face her, giving her that signature soft gaze he always carried.
For whatever reason, she felt herself tense in front of him. Sweaty hands clenched at her sides. Unable to meet his eyes, she glanced at a patchy spot on the carpet the landlord refused to fix.
āI um, I-I had a really bad dream.ā Anna was awful at hiding her emotions, especially in front of him. She sat down on his bed and seemed to have his full attention. Opening up about things would always be difficult, but it shouldnāt be this difficult. Johan was her most trusted person. āI know that it probably sounds silly, and I know that Iām too old to be letting it affect me like this but it just felt so real.ā She sucked in her lip and shyly popped the question.
āCan I sleep here for tonight?ā
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