my vent I guess

Hey, idk if anyone even reads the shit I post when I do like once a fuckin year haha, but I kinda need to vent. Work is stressing me the fuck out. And lately I'm just bugging out asking myself stupid questions, like 'does anyone even like me?' because the way I see it no one ever makes effort for me, I understand people are busy and what not but is a hi too much to ask for? I have no consistent friends and I'm just stuck in a fucking loop of being lonely. I have a girlfriend now which is great. But I just feel so disconnected with myself like I have zero control of what's happening with me, as if I'm not really making the decisions that I make? Like it's a set routine that just happens? It's hard to explain. I just feel like everything is pre plotted. Anyways I don't want to whine on too much, just needed that vent