New blog, not so new me

It's easier to hold on. It's easier to hold on because the memories stay with you in a happy sense. You look back and remember the smiles and laughs you had. You remember that nothing bad could happen when you were in that moment. Everything seems so bright and beautiful. But if you let go, it's sad. It's sad to look back on the memories of what used to make you happy. It's sad to realize that's the life you once knew and you'll never know what its like agaun, you won't go back to it ever. And that's why it's easier to hold on.

FUCK YOU FUCK THEM FUCK YOU AGAIN. FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK . 

An ongoing part of my post earlier: you get lonely. Very lonely. I see pictures of the people I knew and I want to cry. I ache to be out with them, to enjoy the sun with them. I yearn to have a laugh with my friends, but they don’t remember me. They wouldn’t remember me because I moved away young, I had a kid young. They wouldn’t invite me out even if I lived in the same town as them. I’m a “hard pass” and it hurts. It hurts my mind, it hurts inside and it kills my soul. 

I still like the same shit. I just forgot my password for the account and the email password. oops.