ravioli ravioli, give me the formuoli

Even though I'm a die-hard Giants fan, you seem like a pretty cool dude. If you ever want to chill and grab drinks sometime, just say the word. @joebcrrow

i like to think i'm a pretty cool dude. they don't call me 'joe cool' for nothing. i'd love that, man. we need to make that happen.

so, how does it feel to get away from the football field and spend some quality time with a bunch of hollywood misfits? do you manage to stay in shape even at the hotel? is it like mark wahlberg's workout routine or something? how you guys do it is beyond me. i can barely walk up the stairs without getting winded. / @joebcrrow

i never imagined in a million years that i'd be spending so much time with the hollywood elite. i don't even see myself as famous; i just want to play football, you know? but while i'm on vacation, i'm all about enjoying good food. i'll make up for it when we get back to the States.

yesterday i went to the pool and even though it's more of a relaxation pool, i still thought of you. i just had this feeling you’d be my go-to guy during a chicken fight. we should make it happen. who cares if people go there to relax? / @joebcrrow

you thought of me? aww, you're too sweet. but that sweetness vanished once you mentioned chicken fighting. why would i fight a chicken? just because i'm from iowa doesn't mean i know my way around chickens and farm animals!

So, what brings you to France? I've always wondered about football players and their schedules. When the season is over, do you get to do what you want or is there a lot of training involved that you have to keep up with? If so, does that mean I can accompany you when you hit the gym? I'll be good, scouts honour. @joebcrrow

since it's not football season, i have some extra time to enjoy activities, like coming to France. lately, i've mostly been sleeping and getting in some extra practice with my teammates. during the offseason, i focus on spending time with family and doing a bit of training here and there. i'd like to say I'm always busy, but that wouldn't be true. sometimes, i don't even know what to do with myself. you're welcome to join me at the gym, or really, accompany me anywhere. you're beautiful.

it's been so long since i've been to france, i don't know about you but i'm so incredibly happy to be back. have you been here before or are you fresh blood to the french culture? @joebcrrow

is it bad that i've never been here before? this is all so new to me. i might need your help navigating. what's your favorite thing to do here?

yes, it was supposed to be -- but it fell through, so we never went forward with it. it's been locked away in my vault, and somehow someone with sticky hands got in there and leaked a whole bunch of stuff. which is always disappointing. but i know exactly the song you're talking about! a new album on the horizon? i can't give away all of my secrets, but there may be a thing or two up my sleeve. eternal sunshine is only two months old, so i have no plans to release something until maybe next year.

it's quite impressive when someone hacks into systems. i've never been that great with computers— i know the basics, but coding is tough to grasp. i can't wait for something new from you. the guys definitely need some fresh tunes in the locker room. some of them are secret ariana grande fans.

and now it's thursday. how's it been going for you so far this week?

I've got a really basic yet important question to ask: what's your favorite movie theater snack? I realized recently that I should probably upgrade my 'popcorn and a Coke icee' order. I've had it for as long as I can remember! @glamourstarters

that's easy! popcorn all the way. i usually toss some chocolate in the mix as well, so i can enjoy something both salty and sweet simultaneously.

FMK - joe burrow, dove cameron, harry styles

i am skilled at kissing a woman properly.

okay, so i totally know exactly what song that you're thinking of. it was called fantasize and it wasn't even for me! it was for a sketch that was getting thought out and it needed a 90s popstar kind of vibe for it, so i was channeling my inner britney and got to the studio to bang something out. next thing i know my fans leaked it and it's circling all over the internet, this great song that i'd been hiding in my vault. when really it was never meant to be taken seriously, or see the light of day. my fans are the worst, spoiled little menaces that love to leak everything! but i love them, so it's okay. it's a healthy balance of scolding and rewarding.

it's that one song that really took off on tiktok. i recall hearing it constantly, especially last year. it was quite catchy, wasn't it? i wonder if it was featured in a saturday night live sketch? is that what you meant by 'sketch'? music from SNL tends to stick in your head. it's often the parody songs that become super popular, and everyone believes they're real tracks from the artist's album. do you have a new album on the horizon?

FMK

you don't have to be the biggest sports enthusiast. i'm just honored to be seen as marriage material.

first of all thank god it's not as widely know as the fans make us think it is. secondly i'm regretting that i'm now bringing this up as it will be more known. thirdly it's a term to describe a very attractive man capable of pulling any woman they want. they're very charismatic and are similar to my character from the vampire diaries.

i've only watched a few seasons of the vampire diaries with my ex-girlfriend. don't ask me anything about the show because i don't recall what happened between those seasons. you're quite the handsome man, buddy. i get it! the ladies are into vampires.

listen, when someone tells me they've been fantasizing about me, i so need the details. in person?

sure, i can share those details with you in person... but if you prefer, i can tell you right here and now. i'm just not really good with words; i'm better at showing. i might have seen something about you liking another guy... i don't want to intrude on anything you have going on. i wasn't aware you had a boyfriend.

show me? and what do you mean by that?

i think you know what i mean. do you want specific details? because i can give you those in person.