The life of a Mom

I am currently in the process of going back to work. Not a job that I want but its money in my pocket until something bigger and better paying job comes knocking on my door, or until I can go to college and get something that I can make a living out of.  

There is a part of me that I dont recognize anymore. Its like a heavy fog that wont go away. It makes me get really angry at small, useless things. I often wonder what drove me to be this way. Where did this anger, this depression, this anxiety, this horrible human being come from? Some days are worse than others. I dont mean to be so mean. I really dont. There is a battle going on in my head that wont stop. I spend every night fighting to end that dreadful battle.  I have cried myself to sleep because of it.   I have begged and pleaded and prayed to God to make it stop, to make me better. I dont want my kids hating me for what I am. Yes, there are days where I just want to give up but I dont. I have 3 beautiful babies who need their mama, They are the reason Im alive. They are the reason why I fight my battles.Without my kids, im am NOTHING! 

But theres more... there are always more.. you just got to stick around and see whats next.. As for now, goodnight! 

Now time for bed. Step one on diet. Getting a good  nights rest. 

Yep, I'm bout to talk about that four letter word that people use everyday or at least try to avoid... L-O-V-E! You're probably wondering why this subject.. because it's a tough subject that's what?!?!?! Love.. Four letters but it gives a big meaning. There is a difference between being in love and just saying I love you. Being in love is hard to compare it with anything.. so let me try.. hmmm... when you're in love, nothing else matters. None of those heart breaks matter anymore. It's like that person has picked up your fragile heart and has become the gorilla glue... that person has forever changed your life whether he or she knows it.. You laugh/talk like best friends, fight like brother and sister and the love is unbreakable. You are each other's half.. soulmates...

Its been awhile... been busy working and being a mommy. 3 months ago i had a life changing experience... an experiece where I saw everthing in a different perspective.. On Novemeber 2nd I just turnedon my long dirt road to my house when I hit a sandy patch of dirt and lost control of my car hitting the ditch sideways flipping my car while landing on all 4 tires. I was singing a long with one of the Christian radio station when it happened.... That moment when I lost control and was about to hit the ditch I cried out for God and praying...I had my eyes closed until I the car was no longer moving.. Opening my eyes looking around making sure that nothing was broken or hurting I immediately Praised My God For His Protection! I called 911 then my husband.. If there is one thing I have learned from that day is that when its your time to leave this Earth your heart better be right with the Lord.. for as my dear old Pontiac, he was totaled! Even though he had a few little issues he was a good car! I miss my ole flying G but least he was an organ donor and was able to use his parts for other cars... "AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE WE WILL SERVE THE LORD" TO GOD BE THE GLORY\

anyways, I never lost faith in God. I will never lose faith in him in him. But as a person and  as a Christian... I am definetly trying to better myself as a whole...

Just had a bath so now he's playing.. Well he's staring lol

Earlier today at woo woo and js

Can't believe my spoiled rotten lil mamas boy is already 2 months old.

#playing

#Snapchat filters are the best

Ariel and owen.