Just a soul, who's intentions are good

“Your new life is going to cost you your old one. It’s going to cost you your comfort zone and your sense of direction. It’s going to cost you being liked, and understood. But it doesn’t matter. Because the people who are meant for you are going to meet you on the other side. And you’re going to build a new comfort zone around the things that actually move you forward. And instead of liked, you’re going to be loved. Instead of understood, you’re going to be seen. All you’re going to lose is what was built for a person you no longer are. Let it go.”

“By replacing fear of the unknown with curiosity we open ourselves up to an infinite stream of possibility. We can let fear rule our lives or we can become childlike with curiosity, pushing our boundaries, leaping out of our comfort zones, and accepting what life puts before us.”

“Nobody can say anything about you. Whatsoever people say is about themselves. But you become very shaky, because you are still clinging to a false center. That false center depends on others, so you are always looking to what people are saying about you. And you are always following other people, you are always trying to satisfy them. You are always trying to be respectable, you are always trying to decorate your ego. This is suicidal. Rather than being disturbed by what others say, you should start looking inside yourself… Whenever you are self-conscious you are simply showing that you are not conscious of the self at all. You don’t know who you are. If you had known, then there would have been no problem—then you are not seeking opinions. Then you are not worried what others say about you—it is irrelevant! When you are self-conscious you are in trouble. When you are self-conscious you are really showing symptoms that you don’t know who you are. Your very self-consciousness indicates that you have not come home yet.”

“i no longer force things. what flows, flows. what crashes, crashes. i only have space and energy for things that are meant for me.”

“You’re just one of them people. You know, 20 years from now my daughter may come home crying over a stupid boy. You’re the story I tell her. When she’s aching in bed and I’m running my fingers through her hair to try and wash away the pain, our story is what I’ll tell her. I’ll tell her how something so beautiful has the potential to become so ugly and toxic to the both of you. When she thinks she can’t live without him, I’ll tell her about our story and how I forced myself to heal. How getting out of bed was a mission. How breathing without you was a mission. When her skins burning from every part he touched I’ll tell her about how I scrubbed your hands of me in the shower as I was crying. And when she thinks she can’t ever move on, I’ll tell her about how 10 years ago I saw you alone in a pub whilst I was with her father, I’ll tell her how your eyes watered when our eyes met and how I replied with a gentle smile, because it was the calm after the storm. It hurts darling. It hurts so bad, knowing you love him more than anything and he’s too immature and childish to understand or even care and acknowledge that you’ll love him more than anyone possibly can in his life. But once you heal that hurt, you become an untouchable woman.

“Do yourself a favor and learn how to walk away. When a connection starts to fade, Learn how to let it go. When a person starts to mistreat you, learn how to move on.. to something and someone better. Don’t waste your energy trying to force something that isn’t meant to be.. Because the truth is.. for every one person who doesn’t value you - there are tons more waiting to love you better. Do better.”

Sometimes I sit in my room and I think back to the times we shared and I wonder how accurate my memory is. I wonder if things really were that good. I think of our conversations and I wonder if I’m remembering them right. I wonder if I am making up the way you used to look at me with so much love when I’d talk about things I was passionate about. Sometimes I wonder if nostalgia is tampering with my memories of us or if I’m filling in the blanks or if my memory is really that good. I wonder how much of our relationship I’ve changed in my head. I wonder how much better I’ve made it because I’m still so sad that you’re gone. I think I’m torturing myself with our memories because, if it had been as good as my memories of us make me believe, then I don’t think you would’ve left.