jirai confessions

my name's kiki, i'm a minor,,, and i use she/her pronouns

i don't rlly have any rules, other than ppl being respectful in their confessions, when mentioning other jirais being vague and not obvious (to prevent harassment), and generally not being too rude!

if you send me an ask off anon, i'll dm you to make sure you wanted it like that or not

inspired by @confessionsofajirai2 and @sweetened-exposition!!!!! go check them out right now!!!

check out @landmineconfession as well! <3

anon list:

🪾🦌, 💔🌸, 💦🥺, ⏱️⌛️, 💿🎼, ghost anon, 🙂🙃, System Pandorania (S.S.K-C.E.C.), 🩰🪒, 🧸🔪/🧸❤️‍🩹, 🦢🌙, 🦋💜, 🚬🍧, baller anon, rando anon 🪭, 🌌💉, ☘️🍏, D. N. 🥠,＼(_ _) anon, ♟️🃏, 🥩🍥, 🧷🐛, 💤🔪, 😭🔫 anon, 🌧️💧, ☁️🪽, 🍏🍀, 🔌💖, 🕊, 🌌💉

or does it feel like a hug or quiet understanding.

its funny to be like omg i wanna fucking DIE and like 200 people reblog it.

Its so gross im so embarrased of my teeth

if 50 cent can play the long game and gather evidence to make episodes of a documentary OVER TEN YEARS on one of the worst men to ever live, then yeah. Know any crimes you’re contemplating or admit to online, someone will take that shit personally especially if they’re an abuse survivor.

then there’s the big bad grey area. I meet people I sympathize with them, and if I do that enough they’re comfortable to admit their sins to me and I just have to pretend I don’t judge them. Before you say I’m a bad friend, sure, absolutely. I don’t exactly want to be a safe person for people who murder things or admit to me that nothing phases them and they’re not even sure why they hold onto a moral compass anymore.

asocial people deserve kindness and understanding, but god people blatantly admitting to me they do not care and the stuff I complain about only like, makes them realize how fucked up of a person they are and how desensitized to fucked up shit they are to the point they feel like they’re forcing themselves to follow a moral compass…

it’s incredibly hard to make friends and stay friends. I don’t want to believe anyone’s evil for whatever life experience they have or mental illness they live with…

but fuuuck dude what am I supposed to do? Tell a majority of you that if you admit to crimes I’m not a safe space and I will snitch on you faster than lightning if you end up hurting anyone?

if they dont feel like can get help im not sure what to fucking do. Too many people are comfortable admitting they’re a sick person like there aren’t any repercussions. Honestly im probably on some sort of high horse but I am not a safe space if you’re unhinged as fuck. Like, sorry. You admit some fucked up shit and just what? Expect uplifting? No, if you start being unhinged you’re probably gonna lose some friends if they can’t tell if you’re a crazy asshole on purpose or not.

it’s one thing to be like this is what I struggle with it’s another thing if behaviors start exhibiting themselves and then I’m the bad person for leaving once you confide in me. i, really want to help people but if you quite literally admit to me you don’t want to help yourself and physically have a track record of losing your shit and hurting things…there’s only so much friends can do to help you dude.

what the fuck even are transids I’m so pissed off right now

I’ve fucking blocked people who are trans race off the bat I’m sorry you weren’t born Asian or of any kind of flavor you and you want cultural connection so bad but GET A FUCKING DNA TEST YOU PROBABLY BELONG SOMEWHERE, START THERE, STOP TRYING TO IDENTIFY AS SOMETHING YOURE FUCKING NOT?

my other part of my rant is

what the fuck is trans skinny

what the fuck is trans mentally ill

what the fuck is trans groomed?

you want my trauma? You want to not be able to trust male family members, potential partners, or hell fucking ANYONE??? FUCKING TAKE IT!!!

I don’t think you grasp how serious anything is if your fucking reaction is to be like OH…I want that. I want to be Fucking SPECIAL.

are we out of our minds? Is this a social experiment?

LITTERALLY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ACOMPLISH HERE

I don't even get hate. I'm just ignored no matter what I do. It sucks. It really really sucks.

Sorry for venting, I don't know if this counts as a confession, I just needed to dump these thoughts somewhere anonymously because I might just deactivate and leave tumblr at this point.

(you don't have to answer this btw,)

my moot who i've been with for the longest time just blocked me. i miss them so bad already, currently crying rn ,, im begging my parents dont notice me ...

🌧️💧

talk to your mutuals as much as possible, get their contact information so they don’t disappear quietly as others have. Don’t be afraid to talk to them before it’s too late. I miss my friend every day.🖕

do not rely on spiritualism when experiencing grief or going through a breakup. Do not excessively pick up tarot cards wondering if he’s coming back.

It can result in deluding yourself further and your obsession will bleed into EVERYTHING you do to just tell you what you want to hear.

I know, so many people joke about manifesting their partner back. So on and so forth, but when you start crazy talking it’s gone too far.

I cut someone off because they kept using me for tarot readings wondering when their partner was coming back.

I just want you to know, if shit is supposed to work out. It will.

Stop forcing it. Stop forcing your will onto the situation. Stop touching ANYTHING love, obsession, or power over someone related.

more importantly, since I know they use Jiraiblr. Listen to practitioners when they say that your partners silence is more than enough closure or an answer to if they want to continue the relationship or not.

people aren’t fucking puppets, I’m not your fucking puppet, and I am sick of you.

Spiritual videos and shit piss me off too, like of course an autistic person or any psychotic disorder is going to absolutely LATCH ONTO “he’s coming back, you’ll work things out!” Videos. Not knowing the creators of those videos are absolutely profiting off of your view and the people in the comments saying it worked are likely bots…or correlation means causation.

PUT YOUR FUCKING PHONE DOWN, PICK UP A TUB OF ICECREAM, AND SHOVE IT.

im tired of not feeling real for days on end

I’m tired of being confused or disoriented

I just want to think clearly and human but I can’t