look at you, glowing like a solar fire

"You're losing blood" no I know exactly where it is. The floor. Don't ever underestimate me.

early to bed and early to rise leaves a man so fucked up that he dies

"idc about surveillance, i've got nothing to hide." Okay well maybe you should then? Get some goddamn. flavor in your life already

I just think it's healthy and good to have some things that are private, and space to connect with your unobserved self. sorry

what part of “do not spend money” do i not understand

dress codes that arent ppe are stupid as fuck. as an adult human being with a (relatively) functioning brain i have never walked into a place and given a fuck what an employee was wearing. “professional” okay bitch i can make up adjectives too. “grundlous” see easy

whats grundlous mean

of or pertaining to grundle

Why my parents so old and stupid fuck off

“Honor your father and your mother”

“Gargle my dick and balls”

Three most useful phrases for my 20s so far have been "fuck it we ball", "take it easy, but take it", and "if it sucks, hit da bricks"

[holding myself firmly by the neck like a yowling squirming kitten] This Minor Setback Is Not The End Of The World

when you open task maanager and the cpue is at like 89 percent and then it shoots down to a single digit its like. what the fuck are you hiding. what are you doing whuile my back is turned

everything in life is about disco. except disco, which is about gay sex

“They’re adding suggestive content back on the site” i wouldn’t know my mutuals have been bravely reblogging hairy man ass for years