Rayla: How Selflessness Becomes Selfish
I had every intention of writing this before season 4 came out. Unfortunately, school and life got in the way, and I just didnât have the time. However, I am writing this without having seen season 4, so please keep all spoilers out of the comments and reblogs.
Rayla is one of many peopleâs favorite characters. Sheâs cool, sheâs beautiful, and she has a Scottish accent. But I wanted to get deeper into her character.Â
Morals and ResponsibilityÂ
Throughout the show, Rayla is shown to be a protector, a fact that contradicts her training as an assassin. Even still, her being a protector is greatly influenced by her Moonshadow Elf ideals.Â
The Moonshadow elves and their ideals are introduced early on in the show where we see a group of them making essentially a bloodpact to avenge the death of the dragon king and his son. The planned assassinations of Harrow and Ezran are not only believed to be deserved but also believed to be vital to achieving justice. As Runaan eloquently puts it, âLife is precious. We take it, but we do not take it lightly.â
This is a moral that Rayla displays. She will only take a life if she feels it is necessary or deserved. Hence why she spares Marcosâ life in the very start of the show. It isnât until she meets Callum, and he points out the revenge cycle, that these morals begin to be⌠altered.Â
As soon as the egg of the dragon prince is discovered, Rayla commits herself to defending Callum and Ezran. She smiles at Ez and offers to go back into the tower with Callum to stop her people from killing his and Ezâs father.Â
Rayla assumes the actions of her peers are her responsibility. When she first tells Callum and Ezran about her parents, she says sheâs so ashamed, and feels her journey to return the egg to the dragon queen as one of redemption. In other words, Rayla feels she needs to redeem herself because of her parents' alleged betrayal.Â
She assumes this kind of second-hand responsibility from the other assassins as well. Throughout season 1 and well into season 2, Rayla is incapable of telling the boys what happened to their father. Even when Rayla asserts, âI didnât kill anyone!â Corvusâ words illustrate exactly what she believes:
âYour leader did! Whatâs the difference?â
The difference is Rayla tried to stop him. She tried to get Runaan to call off the mission, and he wouldnât listen. Now King Harrow is dead, and Rayla cannot bring herself to tell her new friends.Â
And this actually becomes a problem later. More specifically, Raylaâs morals become a problem. Although she canât find the strength to tell Callum and Ezran the truth, she still needs them to trust her. She offers to carry the egg, but when she realizes giving it to her would be a gesture of trust, she canât let herself take it. She refuses to accept the boysâ trust until sheâs told the truth. Even Callum tells her, âYou donât need to do this right now, Rayla.â
âYes, I do,â she asserts.Â
No, you donât. Wait until youâre in a safer place.
But she canât. She has to do what âthe right thingâ in her mind is before she can, and it nearly costs them everything.Â
This comes back to haunt her at the end of the first season. The guilt of dropping the egg is weighing on Rayla and she will not let herself believe it was anyoneâs fault but her own, even though Callum was also arguing with her.Â
âI let you both down. I let the world down.â
Rayla has a lot of internalized guilt that she does not let herself let go. It might have been taught by her Moonshadow elf culture or it may have been something she learned on her own, but either way, it has shaped how she thinks of herself and how she handles situations.Â
Like all characters, Rayla has moments of weakness. How she handles those moments is what differs her from other characters. The first true glimpse of this we get is after Callum told his aunt that Rayla is a bloodthirsty monster. Rayla says to Callum, âI canât believe youâre such a jerk.â Her hoodâs on, her back is turned, slouching away from the boys with her arms wrapped around her knees.Â
This kind of standoffish behavior is displayed in her again the very next episode where Rayla admits to being afraid of water. âI guess I was afraid of being afraid.â This is another example of how the Moonshadow elf ideology can be harmful. Rayla comes from a culture where weakness and vulnerability are things for which to be ashamed. A culture that ghosts their own people if there is even the slightest notion of that person having betrayed them â without any chance of explanation. Although she doesnât know it, that is exactly what happened to her parents.
When she opens up about this, Callum tries to comfort her by putting a hand on her shoulder, but she pulls away. Rayla does not like to be touched when she feels vulnerable. This is a very interesting detail about her, especially as her and Callumâs relationship develops.Â
One of Rayla's main conflicts in season 1 and 2 is hesitation and struggling to do the right thing. She knows what sheâs supposed to be and what sheâs supposed to do, but it hasnât felt right to her. And that causes her to doubt herself.Â
This becomes a problem during their trek up the Cursed Caldera. Rayla doubts her ability to carry out Callumâs plan. Even when she is successful in carrying it out, sheâs already in a state of panic, so when thousands of tiny slugs start crawling up her body, sheâs understandably shaken. In a moment of weakness and desperation, Rayla calls out for help. Callum uses Aspiro to blow away the tiny slug monsters, and she gives him a subtle angry look.
Rayla becomes defensive when sheâs vulnerable. Her body language becomes closed off and she doesnât speak as much. This is shown again after Rayla sees the illusion of the mummy turning to dust. She tells everyone, âThere was no one there.â This may have been more to protect the kids than herself, as she admits to Callum in confidence what she saw. Interestingly, Callum doesnât put a hand on her shoulder here, or try to reach out to her at all. He simply asks, âAre you okay?â and lets her open up. And she does. A little.Â
Thatâs the thing about Rayla. She doesnât like being caught off her guard. If sheâs going to open up, itâs gonna be on her terms. And this includes being touched.Â
Right before the Wonderstorm when Rayla is blaming herself for the eggâs fading, Ezran reaches out to her. âYou tried, Rayla. Youâre so good. And brave.â Here Rayla accepts Ezranâs hug. Though, there was a bit of warning in his approach, and he was also tearing up. This is another notable detail about her character. Although Rayla does not like being touched when she feels vulnerable, she does reach out to people she cares about when theyâre the ones who are upset. She does it here with Ezran, and later after Callum finally finds out about Harrow, Rayla hugs him. Rayla is not devoid of empathy. She is capable of being there for people for support or as a shoulder to lean on. But she lacks foresight in how her own actions could affect her loved ones emotionally.Â
Still, Rayla does get better with being vulnerable in increments, particularly when it means helping Callum. At the end of season 2, she clings to him while heâs in his coma. She even goes as far as to nearly admit her feelings, only pulling away at the last second when he wakes up. But that isnât the last time sheâs vulnerable for him. She opens up again to Sol Regem, offering her hand to Callum and admitting she cannot finish their mission without him. However, what both of these scenes have in common is that Rayla is in control. Rayla is opening up on her own terms, no one is pressuring her to do it. It is not that Rayla is incapable of being vulnerable or opening up, itâs that she has to do it by her own choice.
And this is where hers and Callumâs love languages clash. Rayla hates being touched when sheâs vulnerable, but itâs Callumâs instinct to reach out to her when sheâs upset. The day after visiting the Silvergrove and finding out sheâs been ghosted, Callum approaches her about how she must be feeling. But once again, Rayla keeps her back to him and says as little as possible â even denying that the previous day was difficult for her. When Callum pries and approaches her on the ambler, she snaps at him and insists that sheâs fine. Finally, when he hears her crying in the oasis he reaches out to her again, only for her to smack him in the face with a pillow and run away.
And even when she tells him to leave her alone, that âshe doesnât want him to see her like this,â he still puts a hand on her shoulder. Of course, she immediately pulls away, once again shadowing that she does not like to be touched when sheâs upset. To her, itâs like someone breaking through her armor.
Callum reaches out to her again, and again, she steps away. Neither of them are in the wrong here. Rayla does not like being touched when sheâs upset, but itâs Callumâs instinct to comfort her the same way heâs been comforted in the past â with hugs and reassurance that heâs not alone.Â
Their love languages conflict because their upbringings do. Callum comes from a family that respects each othersâ feelings and encourages free expression with games such as âbig feelings timeâ. Rayla comes from a culture that denies fear and weakness and praises hardened hearts. And all those pent up feelings, at least in Rayla, manifest as anger and defensiveness. She closes herself off, she snaps at Callum. She acts like she is alone â like she has to deal with her feelings, alone. Â
By not letting the people who love her help her, sheâs not only pushing them away, but sheâs hurting them. When all they want to do is be there for her. Itâs only when Callum snaps back and tells her to shut up that she allows him to talk. Callum has to talk her out of her hurt feelings before she finally lets him take her hands.Â
Of course, Rayla isnât required to open up if she doesnât want to. Callum simply isnât used to that kind of behavior. Because of his family, heâs used to people being open and honest about their feelings. And he does slowly learn not to touch Rayla when sheâs upset, but to let her come to him in her own time.Â
Where Selflessness Becomes Selfish
Rayla often puts herself in danger to save the lives of others. She runs out of the oasis into the Midnight Desert to save one of the mounts. She saves Nyx from the soulfangs, and she sacrifices herself to save Zym at the end of season 3.Â
But wait. Arenât these all selfless acts? Well, yes they are, but theyâre also selfish to the people who care about her. However, these may be excusably selfish. Obviously, saving the mount and Nyx were noble acts, and saving Zym was necessary. But there are times where Rayla is self-sacrificing for no reason.Â
Initially, Callum and Rayla planned for the group to leave the Storm Spire with Zym before Virenâs army arrived. Then Rayla said she was going to stay at the Spire to fight a hopeless battle by herself and die. And all she says to Callum after this reveal is âGoodbyeâ.Â
This is a scene that actually makes me angry. Rayla accuses Callum of ânot knowing her at allâ. Which is an extremely unfair thing for her today just days after he described her to Nyx as âselfless, strong and caring. She does whatâs right even if it puts her own life in danger.â Callum loves Rayla, even if at this point he hadnât said it yet. For her to suggest that he doesnât know her is honestly a pretty selfish thing for her to do. And then â she runs away again. Just like she always does when her âarmorâ is breached, as if he touched her. And this is where that behavior is a problem, because sheâs avoiding a conversation about a decision that affects Callum just as well as her.Â
That isnât to say Callum was right in how he handled their argument, but understand where he is coming from. The girl he loves is willingly and pointlessly sacrificing herself for a hopeless battle and expecting him to be alright with that. And the last thing she was ever going to say to him was âGoodbyeâ. Her death would not have even served a purpose. She was going to throw her life away by herself for â as both her and Callum put it â âredemptionâ. A redemption that she didnât need to earn, and even if she did, wouldnât it be better to earn it through helping to protect Zym?Â
Rayla values certain ethics more than she values herself, and that turns into selfishness when it hurts people who care about her and she acts like it shouldnât.Â
Again, though, these acts of self sacrifice are sometimes necessary. Rayla becoming the last dragon guard concludes her âhonorâ arc satisfyingly. She doesnât do it out of cowardice. She isnât trying to stay out of the heat of battle. She believes the enemy will make it up to the Spire and that she will have to defend Zym. And sheâs right.Â
Sacrificing herself to save Zym was not unnecessary or selfish. It was a genuine act of self sacrifice for the greater good, and it is a testament to Raylaâs courage and heart. I do not believe she was thinking of herself or anyone else when she did it. Only of keeping Zym safe.Â
Unfortunately, that is not the end of the story. It continues in the canon graphic novel taking place between season 3 and 4. Raylaâs understandably upset about losing Runaan and her parents without fully knowing what happened to them. Callum reached out to her at first, before pulling his hand back. Once again, his instinct is to reach out to her, but he knows Rayla doesnât work that way. If sheâs going to open up about her feelings, it will be by her own volition.
So instead of reaching out to her or trying to convince her that her feelings are misplaced, he apologizes, saying he doesnât like seeing her upset. And that little bit of space he gives works. She goes to him and leans on his shoulder, hugs him, and even agrees to try going on vacation.Â
Unfortunately, the supposed vacation does not work, and only further reminds Rayla of what is bothering her. She runs off from the group, still distressed about not knowing. Not knowing what happened to Viren, Runaan or her parents. The uncertainty is whatâs troubling her.Â
She removes herself from the group and Callum follows her. Though to his credit, he does almost immediately offer to leave, and sheâs the one who tells him to stay.
During their time alone, Rayla does open up a little about losing the people she loves. Then Callum makes the mistake of putting a hand on her arm while saying he knows how she feels.Â
I may be biased here, but Callum was once again valid in his argument. When Rayla snaps that he at least knows what happened to the people heâs lost, he says, âYes, I know what happened to them! One of the people youâre so worried about killed my stepfather!â
His stance in the next panel tells me heâs been holding on to that one for a long time, but he didnât want to say it because he knows Runaan is important to Rayla. It isnât until she insinuates that she has it worse that he lets it out.Â
Iâm not saying either one of them is in the wrong. Both of their feelings are valid. Rayla has every right to want to know what happened to her loved ones. But she shouldn't be taking that out on Callum. And it especially irks me that at the end of the argument, she accuses him of not having âmoved onâ from the tensions between humans and elves that are still very much a recent thing. A thing that has affected him personally, but heâs still able to look past that tension because he loves her. He loves Rayla, but she has a bad habit of forgetting that.
At the end of the graphic novel, Rayla leaves Callum to search for Viren â even after she promised him they would go together. This is the choice that inspired this analysis. She did it because she loves Callum and she did not want to risk losing him, but as we know from the clips for season 4, sheâd be gone for two years.Â
This is where selflessness becomes selfish. For the entire book, Raylaâs been upset because of the not knowing. Then she did the same thing to Callum, without any forethought that it would make him feel exactly how she feels about losing her loved ones.Â
This is another example of how she forgets Callum loves her. Rayla does not understand her own worth. This results in selfless acts of self-sacrifice, but it also results in selfish acts of self-sacrifice. There comes a point where her actions are not only unnecessary, but harmful to the people who love her. It is a great example of character writing â using her greatest strength as her greatest flaw. But from an in-story perspective, Rayla needs to better put herself in the minds of others and gauge how her actions would affect them. Not thinking helped when it came to saving the dragon prince, but it was ultimately selfish when abandoning Callum.